Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Typical American Gay Male - His Own Worst Enemy: Sexual Hypocrisy

While I take great pride in my sexuality, I however can't say the same for my sexuality as an American male. Based on the propaganda that is spewed about how America is so democratic, free, and accepting of all, reality shows that American society is a pathetically behind civilization, especially when it comes to sexuality. Mainly due to its discriminatory behavior. I guess with all the good this country has, being imperfect as humans are, there had to be flaws somewhere. The problem is these flaws are self-destructive. I say this because you would think that with the discrimination against gays in American society that the gay community would be more united. But as it turns out, the behavior within American gay culture shows how nothing could be further from the truth.

I will use this 3-part series to show the main ways that the typical American gay male is his own worst enemy. I think 3 is an appropriate number to deliver this bad news since most of that bad things that have happened in my life happen in some multiple of 3. Even the news of celebrity deaths practically always comes in 3s. So to start this 3-part series off, I will 1st address the issue of sexual hypocrisy. While I will use involvement in porn for my examples, you can put anyone you know to be sexually adventurous (whether they do porn or not) as the victim of this community damaging behavior.

There is a stigma associated with being in the adult entertainment industry that many of those who are not in it seem to past judgement on where they feel that they would never involve themselves with someone who works in that field. The hypocrisy in this is that these are the same people who WHILE they claim to be dating someone in one breath, in their next breath they will participate in sexual exploits shown in many a porno with someone other than that person they claim to be dating or in a committed monagamous relationship with. I have seen this brand of sexual hypocrisy rear its ugly head in my prospective relationships way too often. I meet a guy make out with him, and he initiates the feeling up part of the make out session. Then when in my need to be honest telling of my being in porn, he acts like he's cool with it, but his behavior afterwards shows otherwise. Or the situation from my blog posts "
New Lessons After The 3" where a former go-go boy and escort now sees a relationship with a sex worker "problematic". What makes him a hypocrite is the fact that being a former sex worker himself that he wouldn't generalize about where exactly my head is and what my standards are, yet he did. But I look at him as his lost will be somebody else's gain.

And these displays of hypocrisy are one of the reasons why so many American gay males grow old and alone, needing the escorts that they probably used to be themselves in order to experience that missing companionship because of the one that got away, because they pushed the guy away. I'm not saying that's the case of all escort clientele. Some may do it just because they see a gorgeous man and are in a position to pay for that man's time. But I'm sure that filling that self-induced void is the case of many.

Sexual hypocrisy does not only happen in prospective relationships. They happen in business relationships as well. While I am well aware that everyone is not into porn, I accept the fact that everyone is entitled to their feelings about it. However, it is undeniable sexual hypocrisy when a gay media company pretty much peddling softcore porn to your face acts like their above involving themselves with a porn-inspired event. Such was the case recently with a gay publication towards my friend, Will Clark.

If you recall, I recently did an appearance at Will Clark's Porno Bingo. As many times as I've written about Porno Bingo, you are aware that Porno Bingo is a charity event where whatever LGBT organization is the beneficiary of that week gets all the money earned by the Bingo card sales and auctions done during the event. With that in mind, while it was already planned for me I auctioned off the jockstrap I was wearing that day, I thought why not auction off the shirt that was in a giftbag I got from Instinct Magazine's 11th Anniversary Gala that I attended a week before. My offer to add that shirt as an auction item was turned down because as it was brought to my attention, Will Clark offered to promote Instinct Magazine at Porno Bingo, but was turned down by them because they didn't want to be involved in that kind of event.

What exactly is "that kind of event"? A friend of mine who seems to way too often make excuses for the dumbest of people thought it might be that Porno Bingo was too small scale. Let's go with that for a moment. Small or large scale, it shouldn't matter how big a scale of an event Will Clark is doing. What should matter is the fact that his event benefits New York's LGBT community. Something Instinct Magazine should be applauding instead of being hypocritical bitches turning their noses up at it.

To further justify while I can call Instinct Magazine "hypocrital bitches". What did I see at their 11th Anniversary Gala? To be more specific, who gave me the giftbag that had that shirt in it?

Well-built models all glittered up wearing silver skimpy boxer-briefs that would have looked like "Daisy Dukes" if those models had enough ass (instead of working for one), because their cheeks would have been peaking out. Emphasis on "would have been".

Now after such a display, how dare Insticnt Magazine look down on Porno Bingo. This move by Instinct Magazine is another clear display of sexual hypocrisy that makes the typical American gay male his own worst enemy. As I said before, LGBT media staples like Instinct Magazine should be backing Will Clark for what he does on behalf of the LGBT community, because our LGBT organizations (artistic, health, or otherwiese) need all the help they can get. Therefore hypocrisy or a holier-than-thou attitude should not stand in the way of that help.

Now if I seem highly irate by Instinct's part in this matter, it's because while I'm aware other organizations have done this sort of thing (and if they did it to Will Clark, they've done it to others) but this was one time where the hypocrisy was so close, with Will Clark as a friend, I felt it slapped me in the face as well. Because my feeling about someone looking down on my friends is this: if they deserved being frowned upon, then turn your nose up at them until you heart's content. BUT when my friends are doing honorable works, if you dare to have the fuckfaced audacity to turn your nose up at them (especially while showing a display of hypocrisy on your end), I will most definitely show my disapproval for your behavior.

I will point out that my usual method of re-telling someone's situation is that I ask the person's permission. Such was not the case here, because Will Clark had no idea that I was planning to re-tell this situation with Instinct Magazine. I went against my usual method out of fear that Will would have went by the old method of not naming names because of the LGBT community being a small one. As you have seen, I practically always flipped the bird to the brand of thinking, because I feel if you don't name names, then the people doing wrong will continue to do wrong. That is why the American gay male is his own worst enemy in the 1st place. Just like an abused spouse not pointing out their bruises were inflicted on them by their spouse, not naming names makes you an enabler to that person's wrong-doing, because you're not bringing the shame upon them that could possibly make them look at themselves, see the error of their ways, and stop their wrong-doing. Think about it. If people were naming names all along, the American gay male might not be constantly looking down the barrel of a metaphoric gun held by their so-called "fellow man" as much as they are today.

So may my naming names here be the beginning of eradicating sexual hypocrisy from being one less problem that makes the typical American gay male his own worst enemy.

I'm going to leave you with some words that I'm considering using for every post in this series. They are from Lucas, the author of the blog that I highly recommend entitled, "
Top To Bottom". His words say:"Let me remind you all of something: We are still at war..... I mean the War for our equal rights. We can only legally marry in 3 out of 50 states. There is still a plenitude of people who think that we do not deserve the same rights as heterosexuals. How can we possibly expect them to like us when we can't even show them that we like each other?"

I agree, Lucas. I wholeheartedly agree.

1 comment:

  1. When you e-mailed me yesterday, saying you were gonna quote my blog, I got a little nervous. I thought "Oh god...what quote are you gonna use?" LOL. Thank you picking the one that makes me sound smart, and thank you for the kind words. I commend you in return. Some fantastic words of wisdom ya got there.


I HIGHLY respect those willing to stand behind their comments with a name. So if you use "Anonymous" on a viewpoint that challenges mine, IT WILL BE DELETED. For your cowardice to not show yourself makes your viewpoint and you irrelevant.

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