Friday, December 28, 2018

He Called My Asshole A Pussy,... And I Liked it

One night I went to Incubus NYC. While I was getting undressed, my peripheral vision caught the frame of a hot naked body. I then got inspired to look more directly at the person. That's when I saw that as he continued walking, a beautiful semi-erect cock swinging, and a profile of a nice ass. An ass that as I watched his back showed itself to be a sweet, juicy bubble butt.

At which point, I could foresee me and him fucking. And even though I was trying not to set myself up for disappointment, I did say to myself, "Damn! I want a piece of that."

And I didn't want him as my bottom. I wanted him as my top.

After I got undressed down to my underwear, I went upstairs. That's where he was. Sitting on a couch with guys crowding him. While they were crowding him, I saw him looking at me. So I wound up in the mix. The guys swarming in seemed to become too much for him, and then he left. I knew I wasn't part of what overwhelmed him, but my suspicions of how they made him feel made me leave as well.

We soon after met up in the backroom of Paddles. We started making out. He then did something to me that I often do to guys when making out with them. He started massaging me. It was making me melt, and I let him know that. So he offered me a full-on massage.

I laid down on the medical table in that backroom. He started massaging me while he stood on the floor. Every time part of his massage positioned him moving pass my face, the sight of his swinging dick, hanging balls, and thick well defined thighs made my dick start growing underneath me. So much that I started wondering if I could end up cumming from the friction of his massage making my repeatedly growing cock rub against the soft cushions of that medical table.

My repeatedly growing cock stayed hard when he decided to continue his massage by getting on top me with his naked body. So now, I had those fit thighs on each side of me. As well as his equally fit calves. And it was heaven on earth feeling his dick and balls rubbing against various parts of my backside. Especially when his massage moves made his dick slip down the crack of my ass.

He was massaging me for so long that for a moment I thought  he was only going to give me a massage. But I was more so hoping that the massage was to relax my body for a nice hard butt-fuck from him.

Then he said something leading to me to an answer...

He said, "I want to fuck your pussy so bad". When he first said it, I felt a little weird because of what I told myself about calling the asshole by any other name but. However, I was also kind of turned on. Because of that being "kind of turned on", I hoped that after I said yes, and he began thrusting into me that he say it to me again. For I wanted to see if my being kind of turned on by my asshole being called a "pussy" was a passing moment, therefore making me need to stop him. Or was it something I could get into.

I got my answer by him putting that cock that I enjoyed the holy hell out of sucking, being hard enough to put in my ass, him slipping a condom on, and thrusting away at my hole. As he thrusted away at me, while I laid on my stomach, and his crotch massaged my also bubbly ass. He asked if I liked him fucking my pussy, and I told him I did. This time, his voice calling my ass a pussy turned me on more than it did the first time.

We soon change positions. Missionary. I was more than pleased by this because I was finally going to be able to massage his bubbly butt, while he massaged my hole with his dick. So good that when he asked if I like him fucking my pussy, I mirrored his words by responding, "Yes. Keep fucking my pussy, Baby!"

Yes. I referred to my own asshole as a pussy. And I didn't care. At first, I thought it was something that happened in the heat of the moment that I would regret in the hindsight that kicks in immediately following the afterglow of sex. Well, to this day, and as I write this. No such regret has hit me. He and I both called my asshole a pussy, and each calling of it as such sparked the word-perv in me, and got me closer to getting off.

Hindsight being 20/20 may not have given me regret, but it did teach me something. It taught me that the annoyance (expressed in a article I wrote 2 1/2 years ago) with guys calling my asshole any other names besides an asshole did not pertain to someone calling it a pussy. My annoyance was more about those idiotic names like "mussy", "bussy", "man-gina", "boy-pussy" were names that were made up as an attempt to gender an asshole --- a body part that is not specific to a gender.

I said in "A Sexually Geeky's Why I Heart Sex", when one refers to a vagina as a "pussy", they are often speaking of it as a female's canal to receive and give pleasure to the sex partner. During anal sex, when done right, the asshole does the same thing. However, I see now that I stayed away from calling one's asshole a pussy out of respect for allowing women to have a name for their unique body part that is a means for sexual pleasure for them. After all, females have had enough taken away from them by cisgendered males for millenniums. Plus, we cisgendered males have a dick, which the head of is actually the equivalent of a female's clitoris. So how would most males feel if women started referring to their clit as a dick? Many males would probably feel like females are trying to claim something that is unique to a male as their own, even if that is not their intention at all.  I see a male calling his asshole a pussy the same way. Hence why if you've followed my writing long enough, you have read me referring to my means for anal pleasure by the term "ass tunnel".

So while I have no regrets about my playmate referring to my asshole as a pussy, me referring to it as such myself, or me getting pleasure from either, out of the respect for women I spoke of in the previous paragraph, I won't be making it a habit of calling my asshole a pussy. I'll enjoy it in that moment, then move on.

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

I'm HIV+: No Bravery Applause Required

I always knew the day of me going public with my HIV+ status would come. My original plan was to come forward with it within in the pages of my autobiography that I have long been working on. But at the rate I’m going, scientist might actually find a cure by then, which would make not much need for the revelation. 

The thought to come forward with this revelation came when I got an invitation for Vladimir Rios’ exhibit of “I Still Remember” to be held at his gallery La Via Galerie in Livingston, NJ on World AIDS Day, December 1, 2018. I was one of the models in the photo narrative. The invitation also offered some guests to speak. Upon reading this, a conversation with myself started. It said: 

“’Now’ what?” 
“Now is when you’re going to publicly reveal that you’re HIV+” 

The idea of going public with my HIV status is not a new one for me. It is actually been a thought of mine for a long time. What might have caused a postponement was a potential playmate being a know-it-all.

He was someone I met at a condom-only party. We made out, I went down on him, giving him a mind-blowing blowjob, then we cuddled and chatted in the afterglow. During that conversation, I mentioned my day job and my being a sex educator via my blogging, which piqued his interest even more. We exchanged numbers to hook up one-on-one, then one night, we chatted via text. He said that outside that condom-only sex party that he liked to play raw, so he wanted to know my HIV status. I told him the truths of how 1)the joy of playing raw was mutual, and; 2)that my being positive, but undetectable. After disclosing my HIV status, I confided in him that I often considered going public with my HIV status.

Well, I have always said that my brain works like a both a male and a female's. Confiding in him with my thinking about coming out publicly with my HIV status was my female thinking, as females just tend to vent, and not necessarily seeking a solution. The male thinking is what this guy did. He considered my venting as an ask of "What should I do?", when even if I was seeking advice, the right thing to do was to recluse himself from giving it because he was in no position to offer a suggestion.

For he was HIV-. Therefore, he has no first-person experience as to what I have to consider by publicly coming out as HIV+. The most he may have ever done is watch someone else’s life from the outside looking in. And coming out as HIV+ is very much like the coming out as gay, bisexual, pansexual, transgender, etc. An outsider can demand that you be honest with yourself, but they cannot by any means so much as suggest when you tell such a truth about yourself to the outside world. Especially, if you’re a public persona on even the smallest level. 

Well, for the record, that hook-up outside of that party never happened. It was not because of his suggesting that I come out publicly. Although, it should have been the 1st sign of his being a know-it-all who talks too much as all know-it-alls do. It was about something else completely in which he unjustifiably showed himself to be a know-it-all. Therefore, an annoyance in the long run.

So while that might have caused me to postpone my coming out publicly with my HIV status, part of what definitely kept me quiet is that so many people have come out as HIV+. To the point that as I said in my speech at “I Still Remember”, saying you’re HIV+ is for me now just stating a matter of one’s being. Then I realized that while that may be the case, that too few of those faces of healthy HIV+ males in the media are those of Black men. Of course, they exist, but the biggest names in gay media still being the racist behemoths that they are still paint white and light complexioned males as the heroes of our society. Meanwhile, I have either heard tales and/or been eyewitness to some of these white/light faces partaking of the very same unhealthy practices that I speak against. So where are the many healthy Black males to disprove the negative stigma of what HIV looks like? And do so without the hypocrisy that the racism of many gay media outlets allow white/light males?

Too few on both counts. 

And I believe that is what incited that conversation with myself to make World AIDS Day 2018 be the day I publicly admitted to being HIV+.

So now that I have put the truth out there, I know I have incited many questions. Many questions about some things I've said in the past about safe sex, barebacking, HIV, and STIs. Well, let me warn you... we are talking about ME here. So while you may think you can surmise an answer, you will likely find you need to talk to me a little more for the correct and honest answer.

For that reason, I am open to emails, interviews, discussions as a moderator, guest speaker, or participant to expand on this. Plus, I am realizing that this revelation is an opportunity to expand on my knowledge I can share as a sex educator.

So let the expansion begin....

Monday, November 26, 2018

Lately, I've been seeing more and more black guys walking around in backrooms wearing hoodies. The problem is not really the hoodie. The problem is that they are wearing the hood of that hoodie on their head. Indoors, that's what someone does when they're hiding their face. When they're ashamed of what they're doing, and/or where they're doing it. And with black males doing it, to a stereotypical white person's eye, it gives them more ammunition to claim black males as more self-hating and have more internalized homophobia. Meanwhile, there are just as many whites doing things to show that same self-hate and internalized homophobia. Such as gay-for-pay, so-called Christian getting caught on gay affairs, sex parties, and on hook-up apps.

Anyway, while such actions show that these males have an issue with self-acceptance based on an  emotional, this action should also leads one to wonder if there is a mental issue involved as well. For why would you try hiding yourself in a sexually permissive space? From a prospective playmate? Allowing someone to use you as just a dick to put in their mouth/ass/vagina?

With those questions in tow, we must not only question the sense of self-worth of the guy wearing the hood. We must also question the sense of self-worth of the guys who agree to play with them. So it seems with all the advances we gays have made in acceptance, many of us are still doing things to show we have not fully embraced our gayness, and the joy to experience from owning that realization of self-identification.

These black males hiding their face are getting action for one said reason. They are letting their big dicks be their means of introduction.

This is even more sad display when you see them allow themselves to be made of fetish of with their #BBC (Big Black Cock) to be their selling point. Primarily to racist white/light complexion size queens. For why else would you entertain anyone who is making such an effort to keep their face hidden? When all you have to entice you is a black guy's big cock, and a difficult-to-see face, then these guys make themselves into walking waste products.

For on November 20th, I wrote a Facebook post telling a recent venture into a backroom. A black guy wearing his coat and hood , without the slightest bit of eye contact from me to signal interest, grabbed my hand to put it on his dick. That made me flip and say to his face pretty much what that Instagram pic says.

By my reaction of throwing his hand off of mine, he quickly discovered that he was wasting his time. Because as far as I'm concerned, such shame made him a walking waste product.

If you're wondering why I am so hard on these guys, it is because I think back to my time before my coming out. I came out as late as I did because I did not want to be them. Wherever in the sexuality spectrum I was to realized that I belong, I wanted to own it so I could enjoy it. Therefore, I would not exhibit shame in my sexuality. Especially if I'm in a sexually permissive space.

So as to why I'm also hard on those appeasing the guys wearing the hoods, it's because they are enabling that display of shame. Again, looking back on my days before coming out, if I went into a backroom with the hood of a hoodie on, I would want, but more so need a reaction to show me that I'm doing something wrong.

This leads me to address why in that Facebook post, I insulted the guys who play with these black guys wearing hoods in the backroom.

Monday, November 5, 2018

Nude Dude Review: Kiiroo Titan + Test Videos

Every sex toy review I do, be it for video or written, goes through a number of masturbation sessions before you see my final assessment. And Kiiroo's Titan went through no different of a process.
Kiiroo Titan - Male Masturbator

For this testing I went to Pornhub's Interactive category. Much to some gay readers' chagrin, all of the videos were straight porn. This is no problem for me because most of the porn I watch is straight anyway, but in my choosing, I focus more so on the guy.

To test an interactive sex toy that can be synced to the action in porn, one would think that my predominately gay bisexual self whose fantasies has me 90+% of the time as a bottom would be testing an anal-friendly interactive toy, and not an interactive stroker like Kiiroo's Titan to watch straight porn. Well, despite all of the many anal-friendly sex toys that I possess, I still like a real live male's cock in my ass the best. So the way I get off with a stroker is by imagining the pleasure the penetrating male in the video is feeling because of his thrusts. And what better way to feel that then by an interactive masturbation sleeve that gives you sensation exactly when the man in the porn you're enjoying is feeling sensation.

So these are the 2 videos I checked out at PornHub to take me on that ride:

The kink I addressed in "Getting Out The Kinks: Pants-LESS is More" about hot guys being bare-assed from the waist down has not gone away since I wrote that blog post 3 years ago. So just seeing the thumbnail of such a video caught my interest. And for the record, before Pornhub got rid of the video, you did get a brief glimpse of the guy's face at one point. So I was not masturbating to a faceless body.

I have long been a fan of Mr. Pete. Watching his body move with that nice ass sway like waves when he thrusts into a woman with his uncut dick after all these years, still has not gotten boring to watch.

As I stated in the Nude Dude Review video, in addition to the interactive modes with the aforementioned videos, I used the auto modes as well. For that test I went to HotGuysFuck and got off to their newest release that week. It featured the muscular Dom Knight going at it in a video. And the cameraman got the angle just right for my taste by focusing on Dom's nice ass.

So now that you see my review process, and what I think of Kiiroo's Titan, you should go get your own, and explore that joy for yourself, a loved one, OR with a loved one. 😉
Kiiroo Titan - Male Masturbator

Sunday, October 28, 2018

When You're The 3 In A Couple's 3some

Many gay relationships, especially those of gay males have threesomes every once in awhile. While it is unconventional for the supposed idea of a relationship, there is a way to do it right. And in doing it right, all parties must follow some rules. The couple must do so together and as individuals. Those rules differ however depending on the couple.

One set of rules that doesn't change are those for the invited party, which I have been a good number of times. Rules I have learned from doing it right from the jump, as well as by me learning from my mistakes. Rules that I've become good enough at that I've bee invited back to play more than once by more than one of the couples I have played with. In fact, one of the couples from my past is one with whom I discovered a good deal of the kinks in my "Getting Out The Kinks" label of "L's X-Ray Vision".

There are 4 top rules, and they are as follows:

1) Outnumbered
Being outnumbered is not normally a criteria by which one should give in to what one sexually desires of you. However, in the case of a threesome to which you were invited to by a couple, the role you play with each of them is not your call. Nor is it your call as to what extent you play that role. It's theirs. However, my credo of "Your body, your call" still stands. So what is your call is how much of that offered limitation you take them up on.

In any case, there is no allowing yourself to do with your body what you don't want just because there's 2 of them, and 1 of you. Notice how I did not say "only 1 of you". Because there being 1 of you does not lessen the respect you should demand of your body. But if they are a well-planning, clear-minded couple, then they already know between the 2 of them how far you can go with each of them, and to respect your limitations. And since they are a couple, you must comply. Why? Because...

2) You Are A Guest
For this reason, if they asked, "Your place, or (one of) ours?", you should always answer to go to their place. Or if they're a couple not living together yet, make the home of one of them be the place to play, not yours.

Since we become more domineering in our homes, as we should be, you hosting a threesome with a couple makes it easier for you to forget your place as a guest to their relationship. For even if you go into it wanting that tryst with that couple to be a one time thing, you should still want to be a good enough playmate to be invited back.

3) Like Both Equally
If your only interactions with a couple are via a website or app, then your attraction is totally based on looks. For words on the screen might be enticing, but they are never confirmation until you meet in person. With such being the case, you should not become the 3 for a threesome if you are into one more than the other. So unless the other party plans on being strictly a voyeur, don't plan to be their 3rd if you only want the "cute" guy of that couple. Such as in an interracial couple, don't hook up with the couple if you only want the white guy, or only his Black boyfriend's supposed "BBC". Or if you want the gym-bodied guy, and not his heavyset significant other. If both members of that couple plan on playing, then have the same level of sexual attraction based on looks for both. It may seem like a strict rule to live by to be part of a threesome, but that's the extra work you have to put in by not having an in-person introduction, as well as to avoid bad karma.

If your introduction to a couple wanting a threesome is an in-person one, then while you should still have just as strong a sexual attraction to both parties, it doesn't have to be a sexual attraction based solely on looks. For sometimes, a guy's nice personality actually is a beauty within that turns into a sexual beauty. I've experienced one-on-ones like this, so it can most definitely happen when meeting a couple. And when it does, make sure it causes just as much of a spark as the spark caused by the partner you consider better looking.

4) Ask Questions
Since this is your body you're giving to these people, you have every right to ask questions of the couple you have the possibility of playing with. In additions to questions regarding to the aforementioned points, you also have a right to ask about each member of the couple's HIV/STI status. Although, if you're playing with condoms, it's a unnecessary question. After all, due to the still present shame about HIV and other STIs, guys can lie. Then there's also the many other cases where with enough sexual encounters and no symptoms to show for it, guys just don't know.

With that said, if the couple seems bothered by you asking those unobtrusive questions, then that's a red flag telling you to remove yourself from that situation. For such a couple is not socially equipped to handle a threesome. In fact, it's most likely that they are one of those couples giving open relationships its negative stigma. For such a couple probably has threesomes because their social ineptitude makes them unable to deal with each other. So inviting you is actually them asking you to be a buffer for the night. A duty that you should never allow yourself to be.

Following these rules should make for a great threesome. For as long as these rules for the unconventional are followed, one has less shame to feel about such a display of the unconventional, and instead reveal in sexual bliss and a feeling of  "the more, the merrier" after that threesome.

Thursday, October 11, 2018

Heart of Your Hard-On

Before the reading in the video on September 28th, the title of the poem came to me on September 8th. Right before I posted this on Facebook:

The idea came to me out of my love for seeing a man's cock as a work of art by nature.

This is not the 1st time I've seen an upside down heart in a body part I lust after. For if my long-time readers recall, the same thing happened in the backstory for my drawing "Upside-Down Heart Ass", which was an image I saw while banging a bottom from behind. And to this day, I am still flattered that the sex shop Shag posted my drawing on their Tumblr blog.

This is also not the 1st time I've written a poem based off of a cool sounding title. I run with such titles because I take it as a sign that my subconscious knows there's a message, or a new way of thinking to introduce through my poetry.

So now perhaps I've introduced poetry readers and listeners to a new way of looking at a penis. And if you think about it even further, a penis is one upside down heart going into a larger upside-down heart. Making the 2 meeting something that's meant to be.

Lastly, if the above version of the poem is too clean for you, perhaps the XXX gifs and video (from my studio-based and homemade porn) compiled for my XXX version of the poetry video would better suit you. Enjoy. 😉

Sunday, September 16, 2018

What's In My Sex Party/Backroom Pouch?

If you've ever seen me at either a sex party, or bar event with a backroom, then you may have noticed me wearing a pouch on my belt, or one gartered around my right thigh. If so, you might have wondered what's inside that pouch. Well, if you've been either my playmate, or a voyeur watching closely, then you already know the answer....

It's mainly condoms and lube.

If you have ventured to such play spaces, then you have definitely been ear witness to some guy saying, "Anybody got any lube?", or unless it's a bareback sex party, "Anybody got a condom?"

With such being the case, and me coming well-prepared (therefore supplied), you would think that I would be the 1st to offer lube, and/or a condom. Well, as much as I try to spread messages leading to great sexual health, guys making a request for condoms and/or lube can go fend for themselves. There are a number of instances leading up to this position on the matter, but hindsight on one in particular is what led the charge.

Some years ago, I was go-go dancing at a Daniel Nardicio party. I witnessed the usual greeting amongst the go-go boys between both, those who did and those who did not know each other. All of them were either white or light-skinned Latino. No matter how shy the other seemed, someone made the 1st move to either greet or introduce themselves to somebody. To every somebody except for me, the only Black go-go boy.

Later on in the night, this muscled up blond and a brown-haired twink were hooking up in the changing area. The blond asked, "Anybody got a condom?"

Being the enabler of everyone practicing safer sex that I was back then, I went into my bag and got him one. I was not turned on by the sex at all. After all, what was there to be turned on by? It was 2 dismissive white boys fucking, while I'm a self-assured Black man whose was then (and now) aware that their dismissiveness of just my presence was a product of their own insecurity. You can look at many a gay porn to see that via its producers and performers. But at the moment, I took pride in helping them have safer sex, and let that override all else.

However, as time went on, and hindsight being 20/20, I realized that I wasted a condom on walking waste products. So I needed to rethink my credo of being Mr. Helpful.

For what they did is no different than what most twinky to muscular white boys, light Latinos, and buffed, big dicked black guys, (in short, porn's idea of beautiful) do all the time at sex parties and backrooms to this very day. They come to the space, even if there are condoms and lube available in the space for them to grab themselves, looking to who is considered "undesirable" to provide them with those condoms and lube. Because as far as they're concerned, the "undesirables" can't get any sex themselves, and desperately need to live vicariously through them, so those "undesirables" will provide whatever the "pretty people" need to fuck.

Before someone tries going there, let me assure you that this is not about envy of how they got some and I didn't. While I am always horny, I have a work ethnic even at a sexual nightlife event. And that work ethic makes my getting laid not be a priority. Nor do I envy someone who gets an opportunity to get laid, and takes it. If it interferes with with their job of being eye candy interacting with the patrons, I'm disappointed in them, but I'm never envious.

And why would I be envious? Besides my past in porn, and waaaay more relevant are my written and unwritten sexual escapades that at least on my end, were done based on a premise other than "Ooh! He's hot!". And at a number that if my gay-fucking was ever put on trial, you would find a courtroom full of subpoenaed witnesses.

So while it's more about quality not quantity, what I take umbrage with is that in these guys' racist eyes, I was seen as one of those "undesirables". "Undesirable" to the point that not only was I deemed un-fuckable, but even worse, unworthy of acknowledging my presence in the vernacular of being work colleagues for that night. The asking for a condom and willfully grabbing it from me of all people showed these white boys to be no better than the black bums I see on the street. Black bums who when they had some money, would always ask me if I was Black American because they thought I was foreign-born, but now that they have nothing, and want some of what I have, I've suddenly become "Brother".

So after enduring so many instances like this, and ending up often getting condoms and samples of lube, I bring my own tools now. And those tools are only for me and my playmate.

I started putting them in such a pouch because I didn't want to be those guys I mentioned before, whose type are still too aplenty today. I didn't want to be one of those guys relying on others who I think are less attractive to do for me what I, as a real man, should be doing for myself. All because I think "I'm pretty, so they should serve me". That's how I would roll if I believed some of the hype about me. So it is how I could roll. However, it's not how anyone should roll.

Now, if the guy is not my potential playmate, he has 1 of 4 choices standing near me:
  1. take his chances fucking raw and get an STI, or HIV if they're not on PrEP. As I stated in a post for Thotyssey, there's no shame in getting an STI or HIV. But this outcome is a good comeuppance if their "pretty-boy" laziness makes them squeamish by being still uneducated about HIV/STIs;
  2. stop what they're doing to get one of the condoms and/or lube provided by the space;
  3. wait for someone who does see themselves as "undesirable", so they do want to live their sex lives through those "pretty people", or;
  4. use spit, which actually is not good to do because it is water, which easily absorbs back into the body. Hence why most if not all guys who use spit as lube slowly, but surely kill their brain cells by also using poppers.
That's why I take that pouch with me every time I know I'm going to a sex party, or somewhere with a backroom. Because if I ever forget, those options will then become my options. And I did have one instance in which I was faced with that. To prove again that I practice what I preach, let me reveal that I chose Choice 2. And sometimes, even with my pouch on me, I've done Choice 4 because I was so into the guy. But since I stand firm in my anti-poppers stance, I do eventually stop, and get the lube.

So as most everything  has a backstory, a simple pouch attached to me at sex parties and backrooms is no different. So if and when you see it, you know what it is, what's in it, what sparked its getting there, and what you have to be to me in order to partake of it.😉

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