THIS Is MY Body - Lesson To Invaders

The title "This Is My Body" originally came to me as an erotic poem idea. But it was incited by seeing a former playmate of mine playing in a backroom with anyone who seemed willing to fuck and be fucked by him. More so the latter. Since my writings have long made it clear that value my body enough to need more than just my constant horniness to give my body to someone, I started working in my head a poem with the scenario of me presenting my body to my playmate or lover. Making it clear them that person that my presenting my body to those was not in the empty vein of that former playmate.

The first couple of lines came to me, but they started to turn. So the original sexy poem are going to be delayed for a bit. For the lyrics became ones telling someone to respect how because it is my body that I have the right to say "No! No, I do not want you".

This was because in that same night, a light-skinned Latino came up to me, and touched my chest. Initially, he was not bad-looking, but something in his energy made me uninterested. And it soon became evident as to what exactly was off-kilt in his energy.

For due to that bad vibe, I calmly moved his hand. Instead of him allowing the reality of how "No means no the 1st time", he touched me again. I felt my porn-induced PTSD being on the verge of a more violent reaction, so I started to walk away. As I was doing so, he added pinching my nipple to the unwanted touch.

We exchanged some words after. One of which led to me calling him a "socially retarded faggot". So evidently, I foresaw the potential for this behavior early on. So much so that it was in his aura. Hence how his initially being "not bad-looking" turned to being officially bad-looking.

I was already starting to work on the above video, but another incident happened just a few days later that made me need to put a rush on publicly releasing these emotions.

I was an at underwear party, and saw someone there who basically sexually assaulted me about 4 years ago. It is quite evident that his obsession with me and social ineptitude has not changed. I wrote a Facebook post the day after telling of one of the previous instances and the most recent. The most recent is what is told in the following excerpt:

This recent incident, I was being a voyeur to the action in the bathroom. I felt a body up against me. Then an unknown penis against my butt. I turned and saw it was him. When I moved to get away from him, he tried matching my position to block me from leaving. I was traumatized for a moment because it made me relive that last confrontation with him those years ago - ending with me throwing him against the wall.

If this is how this person behaves, I'm sure there are indicators of such social ineptitude from him in other spaces. For there is no doubt in my mind that THIS GUY IS A RAPIST.

What saved me was me being sober, and in a space where I was not alone. So I feel sorry for anyone who has been alone with that guy. But even more so, I must question the judgement of the person who brought him there.

This is a shame because such behavior is why people who would like to venture to these sex positive and sexually permissive spaces do not. And if such people do patronize the space, they cackle like hens hating on everyone who does partake of what the space/event offers. Even if those partaking are doing so showing respect for themselves, their partners, and their fellow patrons.

For all of this to stop, (as stated in a post on my Pied Piper of Sex page) we first must live our lives, especially our sex lives, denouncing the rules instilled in us based on body type, color, ethnicity, religion, and sexual orientation. But until we get on the same page with that and beyond, whenever someone approaches us with unwanted advances, we will always have the right to say, "NO. FOR THIS IS MY BODY!"

Sex Party Etiquette: YOUR Hard-Up Rhythm Is Not OUR Rhythm

Yes, the image above is of a male putting his hand on a female's neck. But it is to push her away from an intrusion that sex party patrons, regardless of their gender or orientation have had to contend with. To the point that some of you may have actually done it yourself, or at the very least, considered it.

For if you've ever been to a sex party or backroom, there is no doubt that you have witnessed (as the top or voyeur) someone putting their hand on the head of the person giving a blowjob. Or perhaps, you have been the person whose head gets shoved into the crotch of your playmate by this overzealous voyeur. A voyeur who needs to get a life, instead of living vicariously through you.

Why do I speak of such a person so harshly? For a number of reasons that I am extremely unapologetic for. And if you are the person who has done such touching on a blowjob bottom, then you need to take a seat and learn why what you are doing is so wrong.

First of all, you were most likely not invited to this grouping. It is over 95% likely to have originated as a coupling, not a 3-way. And even if it is 2 people on one cock, the cock being sucked is not yours. Therefore, unless it is your partner being sucked, you have no idea what cocksucking rhythm pleases him. So you are being disruptive to the cocksucker finding the right technique to please their playmate, and you're also disruptive to the person being sucked. Especially if a pleasing rhythm and technique have been found and executed before your interference.

Some move the head with the innocent intention of assisting the pair enjoying an oral sex session. However, as they say, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions". With that said, regardless of your polite intentions, you are still violating their session and personal space. Also, you are wasting time by living vicariously through them. So you really need to keep your hands to yourself.

In my experience though, the way the person interfering pushes the head of the cocksucker is usually not in a way that shows that they on some level want to assist. The one interfering often pushes the head with the kind of force that comes from pent-up energy finally finding a release. The problem is that, as stated before, they were not invited. And they are so socially inept in approaching the situation that they become intrusive and overly aggressive with not just one, but 2 people's bodies.

I have experienced this enough that I was seething when I saw the scene in a PartyHardcore video that I made this GIF from:






If such aggressive pushing comes from the partner of either the blowjob giver or receiver, it is safe to suspect that there is some under-discussed jealousy issues between that couple claiming to be some degree of open. In such a case, be you the sucker or suckee, it is just best to remove yourself from the situation. A fight between the couple might happen whether you stay or go, but the jealousy issue causing that fight will not be your problem either way. It is theirs. Regarding a matter they should have addressed before putting themselves in that environment and situation. Therefore, you have no need to bear witness to it.

While I didn't mention it before, sometimes the pushing is done to the one receiving the blowjob. An intrusive voyeur will touch the lower back or ass of the guy getting a blowjob, and push him into the cocksucker. I suspect the one giving the blowjob is usually the initial target for intrusion because of the chauvinistic (therefore idiotic) mindset that makes sex all about serving the male penis. So being a cocksucker becomes looked upon as a role of lesser power. Well, I proudly proclaim that I feel no less empowered when I go down on a guy. In fact, I feel more empowered. For my mouth makes him satisfied, and the receiver's satisfaction makes me satisfied.

In any case, interruption of a pair's oral session makes a swift response to make the pushing of the cocksucker's head cease become a justified response. So don't be like that intrusive, pushy chick in the gif. For like her, you receiving such a response to intruding upon a couple (as that guy did her) will be one well deserved.

What's In My Sex Party/Backroom Pouch?

If you've ever seen me at either a sex party, or bar event with a backroom, then you may have noticed me wearing a pouch on my belt, or one gartered around my right thigh. If so, you might have wondered what's inside that pouch. Well, if you've been either my playmate, or a voyeur watching closely, then you already know the answer....

It's mainly condoms and lube.

If you have ventured to such play spaces, then you have definitely been ear witness to some guy saying, "Anybody got any lube?", or unless it's a bareback sex party, "Anybody got a condom?"

With such being the case, and me coming well-prepared (therefore supplied), you would think that I would be the 1st to offer lube, and/or a condom. Well, as much as I try to spread messages leading to great sexual health, guys making a request for condoms and/or lube can go fend for themselves. There are a number of instances leading up to this position on the matter, but hindsight on one in particular is what led the charge.

Some years ago, I was go-go dancing at a Daniel Nardicio party. I witnessed the usual greeting amongst the go-go boys between both, those who did and those who did not know each other. All of them were either white or light-skinned Latino. No matter how shy the other seemed, someone made the 1st move to either greet or introduce themselves to somebody. To every somebody except for me, the only Black go-go boy.

Later on in the night, this muscled up blond and a brown-haired twink were hooking up in the changing area. The blond asked, "Anybody got a condom?"

Being the enabler of everyone practicing safer sex that I was back then, I went into my bag and got him one. I was not turned on by the sex at all. After all, what was there to be turned on by? It was 2 dismissive white boys fucking, while I'm a self-assured Black man whose was then (and now) aware that their dismissiveness of just my presence was a product of their own insecurity. You can look at many a gay porn to see that via its producers and performers. But at the moment, I took pride in helping them have safer sex, and let that override all else.

However, as time went on, and hindsight being 20/20, I realized that I wasted a condom on walking waste products. So I needed to rethink my credo of being Mr. Helpful.

For what they did is no different than what most twinky to muscular white boys, light Latinos, and buffed, big dicked black guys, (in short, porn's idea of beautiful) do all the time at sex parties and backrooms to this very day. They come to the space, even if there are condoms and lube available in the space for them to grab themselves, looking to who is considered "undesirable" to provide them with those condoms and lube. Because as far as they're concerned, the "undesirables" can't get any sex themselves, and desperately need to live vicariously through them, so those "undesirables" will provide whatever the "pretty people" need to fuck.

Before someone tries going there, let me assure you that this is not about envy of how they got some and I didn't. While I am always horny, I have a work ethnic even at a sexual nightlife event. And that work ethic makes my getting laid not be a priority. Nor do I envy someone who gets an opportunity to get laid, and takes it. If it interferes with with their job of being eye candy interacting with the patrons, I'm disappointed in them, but I'm never envious.

And why would I be envious? Besides my past in porn, and waaaay more relevant are my written and unwritten sexual escapades that at least on my end, were done based on a premise other than "Ooh! He's hot!". And at a number that if my gay-fucking was ever put on trial, you would find a courtroom full of subpoenaed witnesses.

So while it's more about quality not quantity, what I take umbrage with is that in these guys' racist eyes, I was seen as one of those "undesirables". "Undesirable" to the point that not only was I deemed un-fuckable, but even worse, unworthy of acknowledging my presence in the vernacular of being work colleagues for that night. The asking for a condom and willfully grabbing it from me of all people showed these white boys to be no better than the black bums I see on the street. Black bums who when they had some money, would always ask me if I was Black American because they thought I was foreign-born, but now that they have nothing, and want some of what I have, I've suddenly become "Brother".

So after enduring so many instances like this, and ending up often getting condoms and samples of lube, I bring my own tools now. And those tools are only for me and my playmate.

I started putting them in such a pouch because I didn't want to be those guys I mentioned before, whose type are still too aplenty today. I didn't want to be one of those guys relying on others who I think are less attractive to do for me what I, as a real man, should be doing for myself. All because I think "I'm pretty, so they should serve me". That's how I would roll if I believed some of the hype about me. So it is how I could roll. However, it's not how anyone should roll.

Now, if the guy is not my potential playmate, he has 1 of 4 choices standing near me:

1. take his chances fucking raw and get an STI, or HIV if they're not on PrEP. As I stated in a post for Thotyssey, there's no shame in getting an STI or HIV. But this outcome is a good comeuppance if their "pretty-boy" laziness makes them squeamish by being still uneducated about HIV/STIs;
2. stop what they're doing to get one of the condoms and/or lube provided by the space;
3. wait for someone who does see themselves as "undesirable", so they do want to live their sex lives through those "pretty people", or;
4. use spit, which actually is not good to do because it is water, which easily absorbs back into the body. Hence why most if not all guys who use spit as lube slowly, but surely kill their brain cells by also using poppers.

That's why I take that pouch with me every time I know I'm going to a sex party, or somewhere with a backroom. Because if I ever forget, those options will then become my options. And I did have one instance in which I was faced with that. To prove again that I practice what I preach, let me reveal that I chose Choice 2. And sometimes, even with my pouch on me, I've done Choice 4 because I was so into the guy. But since I stand firm in my anti-poppers stance, I do eventually stop, and get the lube.

So as most everything  has a backstory, a simple pouch attached to me at sex parties and backrooms is no different. So if and when you see it, you know what it is, what's in it, what sparked its getting there, and what you have to be to me in order to partake of it.😉

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A post shared by LeNair Xavier (@lxtreme1971) on Sep 13, 2018 at 11:26am PDT

Sex Party of Appreciation Or Fetishizing

• At a naked party I recently attended, the only other black partygoer there besides myself quietly asked me, "Why doesn't anybody like me?"
• 
  
• As much as I didn't want to say it there, as I get older, I no longer care in waiting to tell a truth needed to be told. So I felt if anyone hears me, and has a problem with what I say, then they would expose themselves as either a guilty party, and/or an enabler of the problem.

So I unleashed the truth by telling him specifically what that problem is...Sexual racism, and how it is very much alive in 2017. Even though we have a great host that is welcoming to all colors and ethnicities, a number of guests are not that open-minded. Their actions show that if you don't fit into the color spectrum of white to light, then you get a polite "Hello" (if that), and nothing more.

In the midst of my saying this and more to further explain my point, I think that in my passion, my voice carried. For I heard one guy say to another in the next room, "It's just sex, You're overthinking it!"

Maybe it wasn't them kiki'ing over what I was saying. However, since that response is a very common racially insensitive white response to when I address the issue of sexual racism, it's only natural for me to feel it was very likely directed at what I was saying.

• 
  
• So in my suspicion and needed venting, I posted this on Facebook, then made a screenshot of it, to post on Instagram the next day:

• #sexualracism #racism #interracial #interracialsex #blackandwhite #racialinsensitivity #gaysexparties

  A post shared by LeNair Xavier (@lenairxavier) on Jul 11, 2017 at 8:13pm PDT

• After some likes on Instagram, I got this comment from @ciscofashionnyc, and followed by my reply:
• ciscofashionnycquestion i have is.. if you feel that way, why would you attend sex parties where you feel that’s the case 😕 go where you will appreciated ‼️ #Facts#NYC #KiKiWithCisco

lenairxavier@ciscofashionnyc Because the only way one can get away from it is if they're such a coward about the reality of racism that they attend an all-black party. And since I love and honor the diversity that comes from being born and raised in the USA, and a native New Yorker, I'll be damned if I'm going to let some racist trash heaps chase me out of a place. Especially when some there do appreciate me, furthering the intent of the welcoming inclusive host.

As long as that reply is, because it was Instagram, I didn't reply with as much voracity as I will now by adding:
Being black and allowing myself to be exiled to attend an all-black party makes me just as racist and cowardly as the whites whose actions exiled me there. Furthermore, what exactly is an indicator for Black males to "go where you will be appreciated"? Is that attending a party catering to "bruthas and their admirers"?

If so, then that's advising that I attend a party enabling more racism. For attending such a sex party, says I'm low enough on self-esteem to allow myself to be made a fetish of. Because the non-black "admirers" attending such parties are there for that purpose, even if they're too brainwashed with white/light entitlement to realize it. Plus, enough porn companies pull that crap, leading a plethora of ignorant whites and non-blacks to follow it. And for that reason, instead of sticking my dick in their ass to give them some "big black cock",  sticking my fist through their face and beyond as punishment for their ignorance sounds a lot more inviting. So to avoid going to that dark place, I don't attend events marketed in that fashion. 

After my initial response, I then got this question asked:

ciscofashionnycso why are you focused on the negative and not highlighting those who do appreciate you / instead of giving so much light to those with dark hearts ⁉️

My reply:

lenairxavier@ciscofashionnyc Because those with dark hearts do so because no one calls them on it.

The racism of gay media endorses and enables their dark hearts. And that damage will never get undone unless someone with the means to do so holds them accountable. Social media gives us all a means to do that. Plus, their behavior is rooted in narcissism. So they want attention "all about them"? Then they should have been careful with what their actions wished for.

Which brings to how those who appreciate me not being narcissists. So they don't need the public praise. And I have offered it to them. But many I talk to about giving it to them don't want it, even anonymously. It's because they know who they are, and the good they have within. And you can't help but respect them for that in the way they see fit.

Again, I let some explanations slide in my response. First, with hindsight being 20/20, I realize that answering my fellow black partygoer there with the risk of being overheard was me subconsciously giving the guilty their overdue calling out for their behavior. And it seemed to spark a reaction that paves the way for a discussion to many black males are guilted by whites into not having, with themselves or with whites. So at first I would have apologized for answering the question at that time. But now I see it was the right thing to do.

Second further explanation, if the person commenting kept in mind what he also sees of me on Facebook, he would have easily seen how I do give praise to those who appreciate me and my brown skin. Blog posts as recent as "When Pornstars & Their Lookalikes Fuck Alike" is a perfect example of that.

My playmate from that encounter was a white male who resembled white straight porn actor Mark Ashley. The reason I didn't highlight his appreciation of my darker skin to his pale skin was because it was just that - appreciation. Not fetishizing. Giving me such a level of peace that in telling the story, instead of focusing on the presumed absence of racism (sexual or otherwise), I was able to focus on the sexual bliss. For our attraction to each other was not me seeing him as an attractive white man, or (as far as I knew) him seeing me as an attractive black man. We saw each other simply as 2 attractive men. With skin color not being a necessary part of that beauty. When skin color is not part of the discussion, it makes for a beautiful tryst. And that's how it should be.

This is not to say that I'm against praising a man's skin color. Because I have been blessed with the gift of sight to see your skin color, and I maintain the wisdom to find both light and dark skin worth admiring. But sexual racism being what it is, we have to be mindful to not tell someone too much about that aspect of their beauty we are admiring. For too early of a reveal can lead to us giving ourselves to a racial fetishist, then calling them our lover, then life-partner. So one should let the overt admiration of their skin color be earned over time.

With all that said, what keeps me coming back to that party? It's who I mentioned before - the inclusive host. While a number of the white/light guys there will stick to their racist white gay media-endorsed mantra of "it's a preference", totally oblivious to their own racism, the obvious welcoming of the host is what keeps me coming back. For that welcome is true appreciation.

Now, if you go to a party, and the host is fake, and obviously unwelcoming, then that is when the beauty of your skin color is not appreciated. And that is when your patronage should cease. But as long as the host is doing their part, keep coming back.

My Suck, My Fuck!

At a sex party or backroom,...

Don't you hate when you've been sucking a hot guy's cock, got him rock hard, and some...
Posted by LeNair Xavier on Tuesday, June 7, 2016

The above post from my Facebook came about because of what happened in my recent adventure to a gay bar's underwear party. I met a hot guy there. We were checking each other out for quite awhile.

We exchanged glances one more time, while I was standing in my jockstrap with my back to a curtain for the backroom, and he walked pass it out of my line of view. Soon after, I felt a hand grabbing my ass through the curtain. Whoever it was, it seemed like he studied me long enough that even in that bar's dim light, and behind the bakcroom's black curtain, he knew exactly where my ass was. For before his hand touched me, I felt nothing against that curtain. It was just an immediate touch of my ass followed by groping.

I immediately figured it was the guy I just made eye contact with, again. So I hoped this groping was him at long last making his move. However, I thought it best for me to make sure it wasn't some fucktard who saw us exchanging glances and was taking advantage of my now heightened horniness.

Luckily, it was him.

He kept groping my ass, and saying, "Oh my god!" He would then stroke my cheeks, which later led to him letting his fingers seek out my hole. I spread my legs just a tad to let him find it for sure. Once he found it, he went his finger and went back to the spot, and slipped just a tad in. To give him an idea of what I would do to his cock if I ever let him in, I squeezed my sphincter on his pointer. We kept each other moaning while standing there for everyone to see.

I could feel his cock growing in his pants. This hard rod laying on a 45 degree angle needing to get out. So I came clean with the truth by telling him, "I want to suck your cock so bad."

Which based on how I feel blowjobs are primarily for foreplay can also be said as, "I want to prepare your cock to dig in me deep."

So we slipped onto some seats in a corner. He sat down, and undid his pants. Once I saw his cock, I bent over with my knee on the seat, and went for it. When my mouth started on his cock, I discovered that his dick that I thought was at full erection, actually had a little bit further to go. He moaned, and every once in a while, he tried reaching across my body to feel the little bit on my ass his reach would allow. And when he got a feel, his cock throbbed while his moans and cries to God intensified.

During one of my playmate's reaches, I felt another hand along with his. Part of what let me know that it wasn't his was because all my playmate's reach allowed my ass while I was giving him a blowjob was his fingertips. This hand was full-on. A hand that soon after became hands.

I looked for to see if it was someone who I might have been checking out earlier, therefore might invite to join in. It wasn't. Instead, it was a meddlesome short Latino who appears to hit the gym, and maybe 10 years older than myself who I've encountered before. I've turned him down every time because besides me often being the target, I've also repeatedly witnessed him trying to sneak into other guy's play as well with that same tactic.

Once I saw it was him, I moved his hands. He then sat next to my playmate. Doing the fucked up move of putting their hand in the way of my blowjob because they're so desperate to feel a dick. I kept moving his hand out of the way. He then started trying to talk to my playmate. Trying to get my playmate to fuck him.

At this point, I said to myself, "OH, HELL MUTHA FUCKIN' NO! I will knock this Tattoo mofo back to 'Fantasy Island' with Mr. Rourke (showing my age with that reference) trying to steal the fuck that I'm earning by giving this man the suck of his life! Furthermore, just because my head is down sucking his dick, does not mean I can't hear this faggot plotting!"

Then I hear my playmate say, "Do you have a condom?" My playmate doesn't know that this coming off as the common gay male tactic of treating other gay males like they're expendable was about to get me biting his dick. But I waited to see how much further this would go before I needed to strike if it came to that.

For the desperate jerk replied, "Yes"... but then nothing happened.

So maybe I'm giving my playmate too much credit, but I took this to be my playmate calling this guy's bluff. Because as desperate as this guy seemed, if he really had a condom, shouldn't he have whipped it out with a quickness? Especially if it gets me out of the picture, and his revenge for me turning him down again not too long ago. But he did none of that.

So while I don't do competitions for a guy, especially at a sex party or backroom, I did earn a fuck from my playmate. So I made steps to take my prize. I propositioned him for a fuck, and he asked me if I had a condom.

I replied, "Feel down my thigh. Feel that small bag strapped to my leg?" He reached downward in the corner's dark, and within 2 seconds down there he found it. I continued, "Condoms and lube are in there."

NOTE: I made a make-shift garter from a dog collar I bought from a 99¢ store and put it through the loop of a small camera bag, and strapped it to my leg. So yes, I'm prepared for these occurrences. But if you see me, and need a condom and/or lube, DO NOT ASK ME BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY.
For I've had too many instances of being a humanitarian, all to see the racism in the gay community have white boys/ light Latinos/Asians/Middle Easterners finding me not good enough to acknowledge even being in the room, much less play with, but for a few seconds make me their new best friend when they need a condom to have sex with someone else. However, once the condom is in their hand, I'm back to being Mr. Cellophane.
So my humanity in trying to prevent others from getting an STI is no longer alive. You either do as I do by coming prepared for the spontaneity with your own gear, or risk a STI by going raw.

Getting back to the story, I gave him a condom, while I put lube on and in my ass. Once his condom was on, I put the rest of the lube on it. I got in position to straddle him. I slid down on his cock, and my usual 2-try rule came into effect. Because my brain had to realize his size before relaxing just enough to take him in pain-free. So after feeling a twinge of pain on the 1st try, I slid off him, and tried again free of pain.

I rode his cock like a savage. Like I said, after the blowjob I gave him, I earned it. There were bout of him thrusting up into me. All of this had everyone one passing that corner watching us... Including the guy who tried to steal the fuck that my mouth earned. Eventually, it got him to jump up and leave. Hence how the Facebook post I used as an intro came about.

So in the end, I got what was mine. I got what I earned. For it was like the title says, My suck, my fuck.

I'm still shocked at the gall some people have to try and take what you've earned from you, right in front of your face. Even the sex you've earned from giving great head.

Sex Party Etiquette: Choose Competitor or Connector

It is said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different outcome. Well, with many  of my tales of sex parties and backrooms often come out showing guys who are losers, you might think that I'm insane. Well trust me, I am by no means insane.

For yes, I do go into those sex parties and backrooms over and over again. However, I'm not expecting a different outcome. I'm hoping for a different outcome. So I'm going by the age-old adage of "hope for the best, but expect the worst". And what I'm hoping for is a sign that we are doing better to our own and more importantly, ourselves. But with sad thanks to the following incident, that has yet to happen.

I recently went to a bar and met a tall, well-built, light haired, bearded guy from Boston named Chris. We made out for a bit, then after a while we went and got a drink together. En route to getting a drink, he said that it was his first time in such a place, so he's never tipped a go-go boy before. So I helped lead the way to show him how simple it was in a non-condescending way. It something I've done in the past for males I was and was not making out with, as well as females. So it was no big deal to me. It was just my kindness to a visitor to NYC to undo the repression towards sex and male nudity that makes a go-go boy in a jockstrap a scary creature to touch.

When we started making out again, we got quite hot and heavy. And at one point, while me and Chris were face to face, a light-skinned Latino wearing a black Marvel baseball cap got behind him. I later discovered this Latino was a totally racist asshole. I've seen him before, and he never wants a Black guy touching him. Yet, he has the fuckfaced audacity to inject himself into my session with my fooling around with Chris. Turning my connection with Chris into a competition. So he obvious was going by the idea I've address before about White and light-complexioned people acting as if they sexual entitled to the playmate of a darker person.

Before this I thought Chris was pretty cool and decent. Chris' decency died when the Latino leaves and Chris asked me if he could go with him for a little bit. In response I told Chris, "If you go with him, you might as well stay gone."

At this point, if you find my response to be me overreacting, then you exude the selfishness that holds gay males from doing better for themselves. For my behavior towards Chris before this Latino came along deserved both respect and loyalty. And both were forsaken when it became obvious to Chris that the Latino who interrupted us didn't want me as part of the package, in spite of the fact that me and Chris were already deep in our fooling around.

For the code of etiquette in such a situation is that if 2 (or more) people are playing, if someone new interjects or is invited in, then they have to be willing to play with all parties there before his arrival in the group. And this Latino felt such a selfishness and sense of light entitlement that he presented himself as another selfish faggot never considering that code. In his selfishness, my pre-existence didn't matter.

That sense of loyalty I talking about is how I lost my virginity in a 5-man orgy, instead just with one person. It was because even then I had a sense of loyalty. I put myself in this situation with the 3 guys (who later found a 5th) I hung around long enough to connect with. And it would have been rude of me to have suddenly up and left them if someone else came along who was not into one of them. There were some who tried, but it wasn't happening. For that night, I was experimenting, too.

Experimenting...That and being 22 are the excuses Chris gave for what he did after I made him feel uncomfortable for making out with the Latino after we parted ways.

Now at 22, Chris has obviously kissed, obviously touched a half-naked male body, obviously rimmed a guy's ass, and probably fucked. NONE OF WHICH I had not done on the night I lost my virginity. So his excuse of his being "22, at The Cock, and experimenting" was bullshit. The truth is he was another to prove the point I expressed in "The Expendable Gay Male". A point of how he was "another faggot who like so many other gay males make it their Karma to grow old and lonely. A point that hit him drilled into Chris' head that he got to the point of screaming, "Get away from me!"

And the sadist in me sparked by his behavior made me walk away with a smile as I got my things to leave.

And if you're being quick to defend Chris' age, take note of this fact:

If you're old enough to use age as your "justification" for treating someone as expendable, then you are old enough to know it's not a right thing to do.

TAKE NOTE: His outburst was not a shock. It was in fact calculated. Because that's what my plan is when I write tales such as this, or call someone on their shit to their face. To cause the guilty to have an emotional implosion or explosion because they hate hearing the negative word(s) about what their bad behavior makes them.

And the word "faggot" definitely qualifies to describe people like both Chris and that Latino. And for those who have an issue with me calling Chris that, let me reiterate:

There are gay men, and there are faggots. In using sex to calculate the measure of a man, a man (gay, straight, or bi) uses the quality of the sex. Meanwhile, a faggot uses the quantity of sex. Chris was so set on getting a higher quantity of guys that he made himself oblivious to this other guy not wanting me in the picture, and disregarding that fact once it became obvious to him.

Some might say that I'm giving guys a way to defend themselves by telling my mode of attack. Well, that's the beauty of truth. Nature has made it that you can't build a defense against it. A facade of defense, but never an actual defense. When it's a harsh truth, its hurting is going to manifest itself in some kind of way. Hence why I said "implosion". For even if the guilty doesn't scream like Chris, the fact is that truth is chiseling away at his soul as to how right I was to be disappointed in him, and how right I was to call him out.

Whether it's a sex party, backroom, or one-night stand, like a long-term relationship, you are still dealing with a human being. Someone who has invested time in you. Therefore, if they have not disrespected you, they still deserve your respect and loyalty.

Sadly. stereotypical gay male rules tell us to forget this reality. And what it leads to are all of those lonely old males wanting to porn in spite of how degrading it is to the performers, buying prostitutes, and sitting in dark corners of the bar living vicariously through the young guys who are destined to wind up just like them. After all, misery does love company. So Chris was one of those students of faggotry that night. Well, since we have enough of it here in NYC, maybe Chris can take his back home with him to Boston. And that will be good riddance.

Lack of Sex Party Etiquette = Lonely Single

While I'm single, I have the many choices most guys do of how and where I can get sex if masturbation is not enough. I can make a booty call. I can go to a bar/club. I can go online. I can use a hook-up app. Or I can go to where this blog category is known for....a sex party.

I have made it no secret that I go to sex parties partly to have fun, and also to study sexual behavior. Hence why this section of this blog is so often read and respected. However, there are some guys who are so bad in their social skills that they have no other choice, but a sex party. Well, I had 2 instances in the course of 1 night that brought addressing this matter to this boiling point.

The party was at The Rainbow Playground, which is a party space in Queens that I actually like a lot, and feel many of the Manhattanites whose pretentiousness makes them want to keep their sex party play to a train ride distance within Manhattan only, would find to like the space as well. For it has in addition to an open area, it also has numerous little rooms to play in. Thereby eliminating the unwanted attention of socially inept, overly aggressive, desperate party-goers.

However, once you leave those private areas, you are exposed to the socially inept. Like those that inspired previous and future posts, and the 2 inspiring this post.

The first incident inspiring this post didn't happen during the following hot session, but after.

I hooked up with a hot, shorter Asian guy. It was in the open area, but so many patrons were paying attention to the playtime of 2 Whites guys that we had the space to ourselves for the most part. He topped me in missionary, I loved feeling his smooth skin get wetter and wetter from thrusting into me. After he came, he was attentive enough to ask me if I wanted to come. But I told him the truth, which is that when I bottom, I'm satisfied knowing that my ass satisfied my top. So afterwards, I went to do my usual post-playtime wash. And not in the bathroom. For another great part about the Rainbow Playground is that along with 2 bathrooms, it also has a wash area that actually has a sprinkling hose.

While I was washing off, this husky (maybe fat) tattooed possibly red-headed, lightly bearded White guy comes into the area. He then proceeds to take a piece of paper towel,and wipes himself off like I wasn't even there with the water running rinsing myself off. I calmed my nerves before speaking, because I didn't want to cause a scene I had every right to cause by cursing him out. So once I collected myself, I said, "Excuse me. But I would like to be alone."

Then he goes and stands near the curtain that's there for privacy...with half of his wide ass outside the curtain, and the other half still where I could see him watching me. Witnessing this I made my tone more stern and said, "I still didn't ask for an audience!"

So like a poorly trained, spoiled brat that's finally been put in his place, he reluctantly took himself just outside the curtain.

The 2nd incident was a very brief stint in one of the small rooms. Me and this short Latino walk in, and it turns out being pitch black. In such an instance, if there's no where else to go, I would have still kept my skills in pleasing my partner in check. Well, this little shithead calls himself putting lube on my ass, and instead of touching me to find my hole in that darkness, then apply it generously, ...he just slaps the lube on me. Leaving this feeling of a blob against my butt. He tried putting his cock in me after, and I just said, "NO!", pushed him aside, then proceeded to walk out to clean off the mess he haphazardly made on my body.

A friend of mine has said that the concept of "The Great Latin lover" is a myth. He has found them to be extremely self-serving and overcompensating with their machismo. More so than males of some other cultures. Now while I have had a high number of great sexual experiences with Latinos that you may have read about, I must admit that me having similar experiences like that of my friend is why there haven't been more. This little shithead's move is a prime example of that negative generalization coming to fruition and lowering the number. He was so busy trying to get lube to make an easy glide for his dick, he never took the care to apply the lube in a way to be comfortable for me. In short, another selfish fucktard.

In fact, both of the aforementioned instances were acts done out of selfishness. And such selfishness is a behavior that when it leads to a lonely single life, like these guys probably have, one can take solace in calling that lonely single life, "JUSTICE". What is more disgusting is how both of these guys were around my age (44), which means they probably have been doing selfish acts like these for God knows how long, and still haven't fuckin' learned!

Such senses of entitlement,  lack of manners, and poor skill is why such people are single, and NEED a sex party. For anyone tolerating these behaviors  are putting themselves in the position of having to pick up where these guys' (immediate and/or gay community) parents fucked up. And no one wants a life with that. Hence why if they are in a relationship, then it's an open one that is unhealthy. Unhealthy, because for such incompetence in their social skills, their "partner" likes the "relationship" open as a means to have the constant option of getting the fuck away from him!

However, if their partner is tolerating this behavior even to that capacity, then he's not too right in the head either. So him and his poorly socially-skilled partner might as well be monogamous. Because no one in their right mind should want either of them, even for a minute.

Whatever the case, my ongoing learning through sex parties shows me another reality of behavior that crossover into ones daily life. Behavior that needs correcting before it damns you to a life of justified loneliness.

I ♥ Sex with Extremes

It's been quite awhile since I've told a tale about my sexcapades at a Daniel Nardicio party. So this is what happened to me recently at Daniel Nardicio's Horn of Plenty.

I knew before hand that I was going to strip down and walk around in either my underwear or totally naked. It was just a matter of when. It got delayed because a guy came up and started talking to me. He wasn't initially one of my preferred types, but I thought to give him a chance to work his way into being so. That didn't work out so well.

The conversation started out great. His flattery and all of that was working. That is until we're weren't talking for 10 minutes yet, and already he reached down my jeans to feel my ass. In a place like The Cock, that's good timing. Plus, he did ask for consent. Then what's the problem?...He asked while he his hand was already down my jeans, and not before. But for some reason, unlike with past intruders upon my personal space, I was polite. I didn't use my words of truth about his lacking social skills as a means to drill through his skin, flesh, then bone, then turn his heart into string by ripping it out through the hole. Although his actions gave me every right to do so. For this reason, when he decided to go get a drink, while I could have done like most guys, and used him for a free drink to pay for his bad manners, I instead went elsewhere.

And that's when the fun of my night began.

First, I got undressed. Because at a Daniel Nardicio party, I tend to feel way overdressed in any degree of shirt and pants. Even if it was summer time, wearing a tank top and a pair of shorts would be too much for me. So I stripped down to my jockstrap.

I ran into a guy I fooled around with before at the ManMeat NYC parties. At that party, he topped me. And we knew we still wanted each other. So we slipped into a dark corner, and made out. Then he started positioning himself. I saw that ass that I was groping when he was fucking me missionary at that sex party. This time however, he was offering it for me to enter. So I took the obligation and topped him. I would have shot my load if it wasn't for the big White guy who kept touching me even though I was politely moving his hand off of me.

After that playmate left, I met another guy. He was a White guy over 6 feet tall. We kept giving each other quick glances and smiles. After awhile, I realized that he was like me ----shy. So I upped the ante on our conversation. I wasn't sure if it was just conversation, or conversation leading to some kind of sexual play. It became clear once he decided to tell me that he was a bottom. I figured that he might have told me that because with our height difference, a guy my height of 5'6" courting him might most likely want him to be their top. Well, truth be told, I was game for that if he was.

We went to the bathroom together only to find a bunch of other guys there. He obviously didn't care as he immediately squatted down, pulled my dick out of my jockstrap, and sucked away. And he was actually very good. Good enough that I wish there was enough room to bend him over, and fuck his ass. While a blowjob to me whether I'm the giver or receiver is an invitation to fuck, in this case, it would have also been my way to say "Thank you, Baby. You earned my dick in you."

While I was getting sucked, someone was touching me. I looked up to see who was touching me, and it was this good-looking short Latino I noticed earlier. But once I started raising my head, he immediately stopped. And I never had a chance to give him a bad look. And I wouldn't anyway. Because once I saw it was him, I was all for it. So after he stopped, I reached out for him. Once he came over to me, he got behind me, and grinded against my ass while the other guy continued sucking my dick. I reached behind me to feel the Latino's ass. It was nice, juicy, and so smooth. I never said it, but it made me want his dick. Then he pulled back for a moment. I heard the rip of a packet I figured was a condom, then after a pause, he started feeling for my asshole. Once he found it, he put on a spit lube. So it was like he read my mind.

I wasn't sure if getting fucked in the ass would kill my hard-on from the guy sucking me. For in the past, I would lose a hard-on once my ass got penetrated. The only way my dick stayed hard was by taking a male enhancement pill. But even then, there was no way I was going to orgasm.

However, since my job gave me those Aneros prostate massagers for my birthday, even though I've masturbated with each of them at least 1 time apiece, just like the brain that governs it, my body is a quick learner. For it seems that my orgasms while playing with my 5 Aneros toys has taught my body to do something that I couldn't even promise porn producers like Michael Lucas ----I can now orgasm while being penetrated. However, this was the first time I would probably find out if I could shoot a load while being fucked by an actual person.

Well, with each thrust from the Latino, I felt myself getting closer and closer to shooting my cum load in the White guy's mouth. And just as I was nearing the point of no return...another interruption. This time, it was a tall Asian that I've seen there before being his usually socially awkward self.

The surface thinking part of me feels sorry for guys like the Asian and the big White guy I mentioned earlier. Meanwhile, the deep-thinker looks at the big picture and gets pissed off to near violence. For I realize that just how I made the choice to be sexually repressed because of my strict Christian upbringing, they made the choice to live a life where they either don't get out much, live a life contrary to their sexual nature, are out of shape so few people want them, follow the rules of some sexual repressive cultures, or what have you. So whatever the case may be, with them being adults, satisfying them for their self-induced shortcomings is not my fuckin' problem!

Even though those interruptions made me have to go home and beat off before going to sleep, my night put a smile on my face. For I had a tall guy on his knees to suck my cock, and a guy shorter than me fucking my ass. 2 things that many initially assume should happen the other way around. I like using my exhibitionism to make people think outside of what they were taught to be "the norm". So the fact this sex education moment was happening for everyone in that bathroom to see....made it more of a turn on. ;-)

Sex Party Etiquette: Don't Play Condom Police

I recently attended a Hot Milk NYC sex party, and something happened that really annoyed me.

As soon as I walked in the door, I saw this short, older guy with a fit body wearing a jockstrap. He looked at me with a welcoming stare. And looking at his body, I immediately told myself, "We're gonna fuck."

After I got checked in and undressed, I went to the play area. He was immediately all over me. He obviously was into being hardcore, with grabbing, pulling my ass cheeks apart, and pulling on my nipples. I was getting turned off, and stopped him. So for a moment, I thought that my initial summation of what would transpire between us wasn't going to happen after all.

I decided to go take a break and get a drink. He was there, and seeing my ass in my jockstrap, he came over and whispered to me, "Damn, you have a nice ass.

"Thank you", I replied.

"Yeah. Man, I'd fuck the shit out of you."

Since it's been so long since I bottomed, if he changed his aggressiveness in the next few minutes, I would have been more than willing to see if he was all talk. Well, my wish came true. About his degree of aggressiveness at least.

For later, he came back at me. He was calmer, not as physically aggressive. Being appreciative of this change, plus feeling that bare ass while making out with him, I got tired of waiting to fuck. So we laid on this blanket on the floor. But I wasn't the bottom. He was. For he grabbed my cock, put it inside him, and rode it for a little bit, but I wasn't comfortable. So we changed positions. He got on all fours, and I fucked him from behind. While I was topping him, he went down to lay his stomach, and I fucked his ass, with his soft ass cheeks hitting against my groin. He then changed position again. This time making me do a pile driver. Each position made my dick get rock hard feeling his ass while fucking his hole. During all of this, the area was getting darker and darker because of guys crowding around, whose attention was most likely brought onto us because of this guy's verbal bottoming.

Immediately after, this guy, a total stranger, came up to me and asked, "Did you use a condom?"

It took every fiber of my being to not pimp-slap that fool. So me proceeding to the bathroom to do my ritual washing of myself after sex at a sex party whether I used a condom or not in addition to being sanitary, became a means to distract myself from this guy's intrusiveness.

For who was this person to ask me if I had used a condom? My best friends don't even ask me that question when I tell them of my sexual escapades. So with this guy being a total stranger, you know he was out of line. Plus after his previous attempt to touch me earlier, my kind removal of his hand made it obvious that I wasn't interested in him. Well, if there was any hope of me changing my mind, that intrusion by trying to play Condom Police put that possibility on permanent lockdown. For him being a stranger asking me if I had used a condom made him go from being a somebody to a NOBODY.

Even if he knew who is was from this blog, then he would have known that I stand by my sentiment that condom use is a matter of choice. So if I used a condom, that's my choice. If I didn't use a condom, that's my choice, too. And God forbid something happens after, then I will have to deal with the fallout. And I have made it my reputation to publicly own my fuck-ups. However, no matter what possessed him to ask me about my condom use, he was way the hell out of line.

Keeping the fact in mind that we are adults, and condom use being a matter of choice, if you're going to host a sex party, you can state whether or not you want safer-sex, barebacking, or both at your party. And as adults most would and should comply. In your home, yes. Doing at a venue, if you're going to assign people to be the Condom Police, then you're going too far, and shouldn't be a sex party host. For rules about condom use should be reported by the patron who was approached or initially unknowingly entered by a rule-breaker, and no one else. Not an eyewitness, because that eyewitness could simply be an envious queen wanting the dick/ass they've been denied because of that patron having sex telling them "no", or because of their own shyness to approach the person.

So I know some of you are still wondering as to whether or not I used a condom. Well, if I put it on blast that this guy being a stranger made him out of line, and that my real world best friends don't even ask such a question, then it's safe to say that you shouldn't even bother asking. For no disrespect, but you, my virtual friends are just a step above a stranger. So my silence on the matter is not out of shame. It's merely me guarding my personal space.