Backstory & What If: "Tales of a Male Straight Porn Actor's Husband"

In case you didn't know or have forgotten, I occasionally write sex articles for the sex toy company Kiiroo. A few months ago however, they asked me for an erotic short story. The one I gave was actually a true story. Recently though, I pitched to them a story that was actual fiction.

The idea was born out of 2 facts I've confessed to when porn is part of my masturbation:

1) I watch more straight porn than gay porn, and;
2) While I'm totally versatile in action, in my fantasies however, I'm more of a bottom.

Keeping those 2 facts in mind, then you are right to conclude that the pleasure one assumes that male is giving that female's vagina is pleasure I'm imagining him giving to my ass.

My masturbation fantasy is usually nothing more than him still being an actor in straight porn. So he has sex will a lot of women, and while I'm the only guy he wants, he is not in a relationship with me. In fact, whether he even has an actual relationship is never part of the fantasy. So since he's having sex with me and those porn starlets, he was definitely bisexual. It's just a matter of what kind of bisexual was he. More gay than straight, more straight than gay, or right down the middle.

In any case, when I decided to build a story around that fantasy, I felt a deeper involvement between the two was more interesting. At first conscious thought, it seemed unbelievable. However, the more I thought about the idea, the more I realized how the fantasy of me, a predominately gay bisexual having sex with a male who does straight porn as expression within a relationship...

This could possibly be someone's reality.

Like I said, for this short story, I made the couple have an actual relationship. Then I upped the ante some more. For the initial story idea was to make my character and the pornstar (whose name is "Zen Massif") boyfriends that had been together for a few years. Then came the last minute idea to up the ante even more so by making us married. It was a means to indicate how while being an unwed couple for a few years shows that you have been through a lot of discovery with each other, getting to the point of marriage means the bond is even stronger. You need such a strong bond if you're going to be involved with someone who is not only in the sex industry as a porn actor, but with whom you have a non-monogamous relationship.

With that in mind, I'm sure many are wondering why would anyone even fantasize, much less actually be so deeply involved with a porn actor. It is because sex between 2 (or more) people truly attracted to each other is a beautiful sight. Especially when the motivation bringing the together are pure. Such as being void of racism, or sexualizing of daddy issues, or glamorizing incest. When absent of such motivations, sex alone or in an orgy has a beauty more than words can describe.  Even if you know one or more of those people are romantically involved with someone else. With that in mind, the thought of watching my significant other being sexual attracted to someone else, pleasuring them that once (twice or occasionally), but always coming home to/with me to pleasure me many times over is a massive turn-on. Also, having that outside person be the means by which you can see the beauty of your partner's sexual motions that you can't see when he is with you, or that you might miss if you have strategically placed mirrors to see yourselves.

Keeping all that in mind, I titled it "Tales of a Male Straight Porn Actor's Husband".

I wrote this story to be more of a preface for more tales to follow. Tales that could easily be adapted to become a porn film. So what if this story was to be adapted to become an actual porn film? With my ownership and pride in this fantasy, the only way a porn adaption would get my blessing is if I played the storyteller. So yes, I would actually come out of my retirement from doing studio-based porn to play that role. And hence why before the story was published, I made my own banner. Even though I knew Kiiroo would make one up themselves.

Now, if I would be playing the storyteller, then who would play my porn stud husband, "Zen Massif"?

Whoever I would approve of, with the exception of being in love with me, the guy playing Zen Massif would have to be a great deal of a real-life version of him. Firstly, he would definitely have to be sexually attracted to me. Because I refuse to fake the chemistry. Also, the guy would have to have shown his bisexual pride by being an out and proud bisexual. He cannot treat his straight or gay side like each side is on a half of a flip-switch. With that side it flips on being triggered only by the weight of dollars placed on it. Instead both his straight and gay side are triggered by the weight of the his prospective sex partner's sexual spirit.

The only way the porn actor can mentally and sexually differ from Zen is how his bisexuality does not have to be predominately gay like Zen and myself. He could be a predominately straight bisexual. Having just enough gay and a lust for me to fuck my ass into oblivion for all the world to see---at least twice.

The "at least twice" is in reference to my doing the aforementioned continuation of the story. That continuation depends on either how well the story is received, or just for my own entertainment. In any case, each part would be a sexual escapade featuring Zen and/or my character either together, or with other people that would also be one scene in a porn flick. And at least 2 of those detailed stories would have Zen with his husband.

Whatever the case, it would not be the overkill of bodies in most bisexual porn movies, especially of today. For most bisexual porn movies today are MMF 3-way after MMF 3-way. You hardly ever see  nowadays how and if the guy behaves differently when he is alone with a male compared to when he is alone with a female. The last time I recall seeing a total 1-on-1 scene within a bisexual porn was in the movie "Semper Bi", and that movie was made over a decade ago. With that in mind, I must sadly surmise that all the MMF scenes in one movie is probably a tactic used to prevent you from seeing when the male porn performer has monetized his sexual orientation. An act that is a total contradiction to the character of Zen that anyone playing him should not do. 

So will those stories happen? Only time will tell. In any case, I do hope you read the erotic story, enjoy it, then let me know if you want some follow-up stories.

I Will NOT Be Mr. Mistress

One night I met this hot guy at The Cock. About my height (5'6"), and build, with brown hair. We fooled around. We parted ways at some point during that night. Time passed, and I recently ran into him again at a bar.

This time when I saw him, all was the same. I was still very much attracted to him, and he was still very much attracted to me. We started making out like we were meeting for the first time all over again. And it kind of was like that. Since we both forgot each other's names. So we had to re-introduce ourselves to each other.

His kiss. His intensity of that kiss and holding me. That nice ass I grabbed that made me want to lay on my back and be fucked missionary anywhere, even that concrete floor of the bar. None of it had changed. However, there was something this time around that made me feel I should leave him alone. I just didn't know what.

He did just as he did before. Make out with me, then vanish. Probably playing with whomever, then coming back to me. But even more so this time, whatever that something about me that made me different from other guys he made out with there, enough to come back, it seemed to grow that night. For this time, he said he wanted to fuck me.

Once I considered it, he asked where could we go. Because as it turned out, he didn't want to find a dark corner, or slip into a bathroom, lock the door, and fuck there. So the problem was that neither of us could go back to our homes. Even knowing this, he still wanted to keep making out with me. Using his eyes, lips, mouth, hands, and fingers to get as close as possible to an idea of what it would be like to be inside me, and thrust away at me. His taking breaks from kissing me to look me in the face. His hands pulling up my shirt to feel then kiss my torso and nipples, and sliding down my pants to feel and grope my ass.

As he felt my ass, his eagerness to get that idea of fucking my hole grew. So he feverishly undid my belt to make it easier to put his finger on my asshole. He pulled it out of my pants then I put it in my mouth to wet it. It was my way of letting him inside. I sucked on his finger, licking it like I wanted to do his dick. He then returned his now wet finger into my pants. With my lust and willingness for him to be inside me in any way possible making me relax my asshole, he slid his finger inside me. Moving slowly back and forth, then doing hard in and out thrusts into me. Using his finger to be where he was wishing his dick was instead.

During breaks within this heavy make-out session, we asked questions of each other. I asked him where he was from since I heard an accent. He said he was Irish, but was born in Queens. He asked the same of me, and I told him. I later asked where did he live now. He then answered, "In Queens...with my girlfriend."

I was not prepared for that answer. Nor was I prepared for how that simple question of mine would be the question leading to the answer as to why I was initially telling myself that night to reject his approaching me to fool around. But the only way to know for sure was to ask my next question.

So I asked him, "Does your girlfriend know about this side of you (being some degree gay), and being here?"

He answered, "No". Then made it more certain that I should have backed away when he approached me. For he then added, "You probably like that."

I responded, "Actually,...I don't. I could get off on seeing the 2 of you fuck. But I'm not really cool with her not knowing you like to play with guys."

And it's true. I could get off on watching him fuck his girlfriend. In fact, when he said the word "girlfriend", I was hoping when I asked if she knew about his gayness that he would say she did. That way, I would definitely have considered him a candidate for the bisexual 3-way that I recently mentioned as one for my To-Do list.

After this revelation however, the making out slowly died down. To the point that we had no choice but to part ways. Leaving us only to play with someone else to our liking. And hoping for better results.

What immediately came to my mind when he said that I probably liked him having a girlfriend not knowing about his gay sex was... What the fuck made him think I would want him even though he has an in-the-dark girlfriend?

It immediately came to me. The answer that keeps coming to me when I see one fucked up sexual perception after another within the gay male community... PORN.

Do you really think this young guy came up with the idea that I'd like being "the guy on the side" all on his own? No. He saw the tool we have all seen over time. Especially now since shit-show studios like IconMale and Men.com (just to name 2) make this idiocy a constant theme.
Repeatedly dodging their responsibility to the minds they are influencing by calling it "fantasy".

Also, mainstream gay magazines and websites greenlighting articles about how a gay can seduce a straight male don't help either. Even if at the end of the article, the editor gives it a negative criticism, such articles are often marketed by their titles baiting you into thinking such behavior is okay, when it's actually not. Far from it.

This is not to say that gay males are forbidden to fantasize about straight males. I would not have written my article for Kiiroo listing 5 porn actors who do straight porn that gays could like if that were the case. Nor would I have a subscription to LustCinema. But I am vehemently against presenting to impressionable gay minds the idea of playing with a guy on the down low. Hence my disgust with Lovari producing for The Original Latino Fan Club. And this guy seemed to be in his 20s, maybe early 30s with that bar's dim lighting. So this guy is the right age to get his information from watching gay porn that this was okay. Thinking that presenting himself as "straight" would make him more lusted after.

Yes, he would...by a self-loathing gay who is driven by the reality of "misery loves company". So in hating his gay life, what better way for such a gay person to feel accomplished than by "converting" a straight man to become gay, even for a night.

My time in the porn industry showed me that many older gays don't care about who gets misinformation, for they are looking for any display of sex to get them off, be it right or wrong. They give it a pass calling it a "fantasy". Never considering how some younger newly-out gay watched such porn. Thinking the scenario was plausible. So they tried taking up with a guy they were attracted to, but was on the down low. All to end up either physically harmed or dead by that guy on the down low. For after all, dead men tell no tales...and too often, neither do scarred ones.

With all this said, I have never denied how I am very sexual. However, I am even more so:

Self-respecting
I lived a life of denial before. It took me being 30 going on 31 before I came out to myself, and became sexual active. Doing so because I did not want to become like this guy. I no longer wanted to live a life of lying to myself about my orientation. For such a life is actually not a life. Hence why I spent so many years contemplating suicide. And I'll be damned if I'm going to tolerate, or enable such self-denial in someone else.

Intelligent
I learned from the hell I put myself through by trying to live as a totally straight male while I was and still am a predominately gay bisexual. So if I am as smart as I present myself to be, I will not enable anyone to live the same self-destructive lie I was trying to live.

Therefore, even more so;
Aware of Karma
So I am not going to fool around with you knowing that your girlfriend is (as far as you know) living in the dark about your degree of homosexuality. Homosexuality that is at such a fever pitch for you that you need to sneak to gay bars, some with a backroom, to get off on dick-to-male ass sexual interaction because your dick in her pussy is not enough. And she is unaware that her pussy is not enough for you.

OR is she aware? But is so desperate to not be alone (at least in word) that she turns a blind eye to all signs that he's betraying her trust. I said "in word" because his attempted betrayal with another person immediately made her spiritually alone.

Now, even if this guy said that his girlfriend knows about his cruising for males, and she's fine with it, it's highly unlikely that I would have left that bar to be alone with him. For if a guy tells you that he has a girlfriend, and that she's okay with him having sex with males, unless she's there to confirm that statement, that guy could too easily be lying to you. That's why that scenario is best left as a fantasy until you can get the female significant other's blessing.

All I will say in this guy's defense is this:
Many (especially in the gay community) having an issue with bisexuality is why there are guys like this one. For many, myself included have encountered that when you proclaim yourself to be bisexual, the stereotypical gay male with his ignorant hetero-phobia and Straights vs. Gays war going on in his head demands you to pick a side. So the guy might call themselves "straight" because heterosexuality might be the more dominant orientation in his bisexuality, just as I sometimes call myself "gay" because that's the more dominant orientation in my bisexuality. Or it might be that they just haven't thought of a term for their orientation as I have.

Even if they did take the time to come up with a logical term to define their sexual orientation, with so much adversity shown to bisexuals, not many take it upon themselves to do as I did. Letting their proclaiming themselves as bisexual say:

"Bi-phobic bitches can go fuck themselves with a spiked dildo! This is me! I'm a bisexual, and I like one gender more than the other. And I am self-aware enough to know which gender I want to have a relationship with, and which gender I just want to have sex void of romantic involvement with."

In any case, whether he defines as bisexual or straight, the fact remains that according to him, there is another woman involved. A woman who knows nothing about his gay sexcapades. And the way he was acting with me that night, he seemed like he might be trying to groom me to be his Mr. Mistress.

Well, for all the reasons stated before, that's not going to happen. So for a situation like this, the lyrics of Sir Ari Gold's song Mr. Mistress says everything I want to say to this guy, and guys like him...