Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Gift For Your Wishlist, Pornstar

If I seem angry over this, it's because like my annoyance with today's go-go boys, I see a massive degree of selfishness and laziness (among other displays of incompetence). When I think about how I obtained whatever I have, such actions confirm the stigma of how your typical male porn actor is far from a man. He is instead DISPOSABLE for being a LEECH.

All of my adult life, when I wanted something, I worked for it, saved for it, and once I got it, I could be proud of myself for the fact that I got it on my own. Not by me putting it on an Amazon.com wishlist and someone lonely old guy desperate for validation. In fact, I've had an Amazon.com account for years, and have never used the wishlist.

Case in point as to how much I've done on my own:
  • Anytime during my porn career that I attended parties like The Black Party or HustlaBall, I didn't have a studio, or the agent pimping me out hook me up in exchange. NO. I paid for my ticket with my own hard-earned money.
  • The cameras I bought to do many of the self-portraits I did to promote myself. Such as the one that I took the photos with that appear with my interview in the book "Ultimate Starz". Who bought that camera? ME.
  • The PC I used to edit those and all photos, write my emails, promotions, apply to studios, etc. Who went to the computer store, bought the motherboard bundle, casing, memory, video cards, and CD/DVD drives to put that PC together? ME.
  • And who put that PC together? ME!

So if I'm disgusted by seeing male porn actors not being self-sufficient, I have a right to be. It because they are living up to every negative stigma I have had to fight against then an dnow. So they cause us to fall back. Not move forward. This is why when these porn actors die, you see so much commentary on blogs showing how much no one really cares. For they lived lives that made themselves appear disposable.

And when you live a life of mooching and being a leech, why should we care?

Thursday, May 26, 2016

He Fucked The Cum Out of Me

I recently went to a nude party. Afterwards, 4 of us got together, and had our own private fuckfest.

There was a great deal of making out. When it came to cocksucking, I think I was the main one. Not surprising since in most group situations like this, I seem to become the designated bottom on all counts. So like I said, not a surprise. Nor was I disappointed. For it was one of those rare instances when you're versatile, and you're willing to top and/or bottom for any or all of the guys in that room

At one point, one of the guys was sitting down, while the other 2 were fucking in a chair. When they stopped, I was still sucking the guy. I then felt someone coming up behind me. Eating my ass out ferociously. I couldn't tell which one of the 2 other guys it was because the room was dark and I was so into sucking that playmate's cock that I refused to look up.

Between my asshole getting wet by the rimming, and my finding every guy I was with in that room fuckable, I began growing more and more eager to bottom. For someone,...anyone in that room! I could have been blindfolded like the fantasy I talk about in my poem "Blind Fuck Mind Fuck 5". Only in this case, I would have figured out which one put their missile-like cock in me because I either saw and/or sucked on all of them hard beforehand. So I knew all of their cock's lengths and shapes.

At this point, all of the rimmer's spit and my desire to bottom was all the lube I needed. I knew once a dick got the slightest bit inside me, my hole would be like a defanged boa constrictor taking in another snake whole.

Eventually, I learned which guy it was. I remember seeing his hard cock earlier at the party. It was as long and shaped very much like the Uncut #1 from Tantus that I rode with ease in my XTube video "Poppers! We Don't Need No Stinkin' Poppers!" He teased my hole a number of time. Making each grip my hole tried to do on his dick be like an animal escaping a boa constrictor's grasp. Which of course would be the case, because like I said, my hole was like a DE-fanged boa constrictor. 3 of us at first making out.

When he started to dig his dick in and stay in to pound me, he did exactly that... POUNDED ME.

As the fucking progressed, had me on my back, and was thrusting into me. I suddenly felt a sensation go through my cock. Like something was coming out. Without me jerking off. It was much like the sensation I felt in "Fucking The What Out of Me" when I wasn't sure if I was cumming or not. Well, after attending an anal sex workshop I later discovered that was exactly the case. And I've regretted not letting myself go to let that ejaculation happen every since. So I told myself to right that wrong by letting go that moment.

I don't know how, but I did. I stopped fighting to maintain my individual sexual identity thinking about avoiding porn-induced stigmas and fighting myself from making sounds reminiscent of the overacting in porn, all to maintain my individual sexual identity. The next thing I knew... in that deep dark, I could feel a wet string dangling from my dick. That because of my top's ongoing and continuously hardly thrust, disconnected from my dick to drop and land on my side. Then another wet string came out. And this one landed right on my treasure trail. I touched it to feel its consistency. And what I felt was the sweet goo that is my jizz.

Just thinking out loud, I said that I had come. So he stopped. He didn't have to. For even though I ejaculated, I was still hungry for using my ass to help get off my top and any other guy in the room that wanted to cum by having me as his bottom. Luckily, his stopping was short-lived, and he pounded my ass some more. He liked it so much that at one point he said he needed a break, and then within 2 minutes at the most, he came over to me, put me in front of him, and put his dick back in me so we could fuck some more. This time, standing up.

If you notice, I did not mention anyone's ethnicity. The reason why is because in regards to the couple, I don't know exactly. All I can say is that, neither of them were black. However, the other guy who was bottoming with the boyfriend of my fuckmate was also black. So without even trying, the other black guy and myself disputed the gay porn industry's narrow-minded lie that says black guys only bottom for other blacks. Even better was the sex was not derogatory in any way. Our being black was not highlight in words or action. Having both of us needing to go home doing kegels.

In any case, with hindsight being 20/20, this encounter was  Fate's way of showing me that I was overthinking during sex. Yes, as knowledgeable as I am about sex and indicators of certain sexual behavior, even I can be put in a position to learn something new about myself. I was fighting all the bullshit we're shown (and I may have help teach by my past) in gay porn so much that I was preventing the great joy I already get from anal sex from becoming even greater.

Now, I'm not saying porn actors have it right. I still find most of them to be in a prison avoiding themselves. So the reason they can so easily let go is because the sense of self that I was working so hard to maintain is non-existent for them.

So I leave you with this new credo from me about where to put your mind during sex...

Fuck the rest of the world and its bigotry in bad way of the expression, so you can fuck your partner in the best way.

Monday, May 9, 2016

But He Looked Like David Beckham!

          Michael Phelps                  Grant Gustin                    David Beckham

What does these 3 celebrities have in common?

They all look like someone I've had some kind of sex with. Not total doppelgangers, but enough of a resemblance that when I saw them I said to myself, "He looks like someone famous".

I was in a bar bathroom where some action was taking place. Doing my usual observations, I observed few exhibitionists, which takes the fun out of my observing. Instead, what I found were the guys there being either desperate, racist, or both. As usual, there were the sexually racist white guys. Even those racist who are cool with letting a black guy suck their dick, but when that black guy proves himself to be better than the white/light guy they're programmed to wanted, they stop the blowjob.

If you think I'm imagining this, then explain how I go down on a white/guy, his cock grows and throbs in my mouth to the point he can jizz at any moment, but he suddenly stops me, then shortly after lets a white guy take over, and he goes all the way. Being one of the cocksuckers and witnessing it happening to other non-whites showed me how racist the crowd was that night. Epitomizing why gay males are known to end up old and lonely.

So after getting bored of witnessing this (again), I started towards the door. Then in walks a guy over 6 feet tall. So tall that he instantly became the tallest guy in the bathroom. The sight of him made everyone stop and take note. Even I took note, which is why I stepped right back to where I was. For I needed to think as to whether or not I was going to try to make a play for him, or was I going to proceed with my exiting the bathroom. And what made me hesitant as to whether or not to proceed with my exit was something the guys closest to him ignored while they attacked him like vultures on a dead carcass...

He was drunk off his ass.

He didn't stumble in. His drunkenness was simply imprinted into his energy, So much so that only one's desperation would block them from taking note of its existence.

I then realized he looked like some one. A celebrity. And that celebrity was David Beckham. This guy wasn't a doppelganger. He just looked enough like David Beckham in his teasing opened button-down dress shirt and well-coiffed hair to make an image of dressed-up David Beckham pop in my head.

So I decided to head towards the door. Stopping only if the David Beckham look-alike made eyes at me. Because of his being drunk, I normally don't care. Normally, I give a look at such a guy, and let my eyes say, "Ewww! You're drunk! Please, don't bother trying! You're not getting lucky with the beauty of sobriety that is me."

I tried taking that same stance with this guy, too. Then as I was heading towards the door, he gave me a look of interest. That was when I said to myself, "Yeah, he's drunk as a skunk. But he looks like David Beckham."

So I reached for his chest, and he grabbed my ass. I ran my hand down his chest, over his belt, then onto his crotch. At that point, he undid his pants, and pulled out his dick for me to play with. I played with it for a few seconds, then the craving to have it in my mouth got to be too much. So I went down on him.

I put his cock in my mouth, sucking it for a few seconds. Then I started to put my tongue to work, primarily on the head of his dick. That was how every guy in that bathroom got alerted to my oral prowess. Because when I started tonguing the head of his dick, he loudly moaned, "OH MY GOOOODDDD!!!!" and "Holy FUUUUCKK!!!"

While this David Beckham look-alike was letting out loud moans of pleasure from the blowjob I was giving him, this little Latino watching proved he was a hater by playing commentator by repeatedly saying "Slow down!"

This Latino was a hater because he either wanted to suck the guy's dick himself, but I didn't need liquid courage like he did (for he had a drink in his hand the entire time), or because he hated my exhibitionism overall, Whatever the case, he still needed to stop telling on himself by shutting the fuck up.

As for following the Latino's critiques, most important point of all, it's not that Latino's dick I was sucking on. So he really needed to shut the fuck up. Especially when my playmate's pleasure outbursts prove I should keep up whatever pace I choose. And in regards to those pleasure outbursts, knowing they might be more out of drunkenness did make me a bit apprehensive about continuing, but then that lusting fan voice whispered again, "But he looks like David Beckham."

Unfortunately, a bout of my playmate having whiskey dick meant that my dream of bottoming for this tall, handsome guy was not going to happen. I at least was able to find out that he actually did find it pleasurable. Because there were moments when his cock swelled in length and girth inside my mouth while I was sucking on him. I again wondered to myself why I was giving my oral skills away to a guy who obviously can't fully enjoy them. I mean, his whiskey dick meant he wasn't even going to cum from this blowjob he was giving such praise to. With that, the lusting fan part of me whispered in my ear again, and said, "Yeah, but he looks like David Beckham."

Sometime after we all left the bathroom, he was in my path as I was walking through the crowd. I tapped him, and said "Excuse me" as I walked pass. When he looked back and saw it was me who tapped him, he put his arms around me and gave me a big hug while screaming, "Oh my god! You're are sooo good!"

I replied by simply smiling and saying, "Thank you."

He then said, "Where do you want to go?"

I wanted to tell him to take me to his place. I want him his over 6 foot tall frame to tower over my 5'6" self, and rain all over me with sweat from fucking my ass like a savage. I wanted to go back to his place to ride his cock, and make him moan again from my mouth on his cock some more. And moan even louder when I make it my asshole wrapped around his dick.

However, I've dealt with enough too-late-discovered substance abusers and drunk bar patrons in the past to know that be he normally a top or bottom, going with him anywhere would have been a lost cause. For if he was a top, my sucking his dick earlier showed that he definitely had a case of whiskey dick. And if he was a bottom, he was so drunk that he would probably not remember why I was in the bed when the sun came up. So why put myself through that when I already know he's drunk?! I should refuse.

So I did. I turned him down. Allowing that to be the point at which I finally quieted my lusting fan voice saying, "But he looks like David Beckham!"

Now, every now and again I wonder, if we cross paths again, I'm sure he'll be attracted to me... But will he remember we've played before?

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Go-Go Boys Racially Profiling Blacks... For Drugs

Recently, I wrote a post on Kinja about the roles depending on race/ethnicity that are ordained by the racist whites running gay media and nightlife. Two of the labels I stated as being put upon blacks were those of poor tipper and drug dealer. I should know. BOTH labels have been put upon me.

In numerous posts, I have made it no secret how many go-go boys do racial profiling in targeting patrons for tips. So if you're a person of color and notice a white patron getting more attention for their $1 tip than you, it's because they were taught the prostitution "mind"-set of targeting first old, then younger white males. And whether this is a practice taught by party promoters or more seasoned go-go boys, now you know what you're seeing. Also, you also now know to never tip his racist faggotty pig ass again.

So I already knew about go-go boys doing racial profiling for tips. However, imagine my surprise to see them do racial profiling...for drugs!!!

Yes, you read correct. I've seen a go-go boy do racial profiling for drugs. Now, it's bad enough to have had a number of situations where a white/light bar patron racially profiled my black self as knowing where to get drugs. And if you think it's not racial profiling, then explain this:

Some white/light people walk into the bar. Walking past numerous white/light people, and they don't stop and chat with another patron until they stand near you, one of (if not the only) black people in the room. And their greeting is them asking you if you know where they can get drugs.

Those doing this kind of racial profiling even includes a former Next Magazine cover model. But a go-go boy racially profiling a black person (or any other person of color), AND while on the clock is insulting to  the patron. Especially when that patron is a paying American patron.

I know because I am that paying American patron.

These Brazilian go-go boys are a duo. One with light hair, and one with dark. They were doing as they always do, when not on a box, tip-toeing around the bar, primarily targeting anyone alone. For in their minds, "alone" and "lonely" are synonyms, when actually they're not. For being lonely is being sad from being alone. I know their modus operandi so well because I was alone to do what I always do, observe and learn, which in turn makes me happy to be alone. But since they're one of my targets of observation, they would never fathom that.

However, on this night, the dark-haired one came up to me, which I found odd. For his light-haired partner always talked to me, but never him. In fact, the dark-haired one only shuffles across the floor, grinds up on a guy who makes their interest known by gawking at him, then says “Thank you”, only occasionally talking to anyone beyond that. So him opening his mouth to simply greet me when I was paying him no mind put me in even more shock. Well, I was trying to figure out what brought about this change in him to socialize with me. It didn't take long to find out.

For the very next thing he said after his greeting was,..."Do you know where I can get some cocaine?"

Hearing that question reminded me as to how I was one of few black guys in the bar, and how many white guys he stuck to his routine with of not talking much unless he was tipped. So between that, my being anti-drugs, being racially profiled by white/light patrons in the past, plus the unprofessionalism it takes for a go-go boy to try getting drugs (especially from a patron) while on the clock, I had to maintain my composure. For I was at a dangerously violent level of PISSED.

So I snapped back with the reply, “You don’t get to be my age, and look this good doing that stuff. So NO.”

Avoiding looking me in the eye, he turned his head and gave me a quick “thank you”, while doing his signature foot shuffle. Going away with his certified jackass tail between his legs.

If you follow my "Calling Out Ass Holes" Tumblr blog, you may know that the racial profiling in bar/clubs regarding drug use has happened to me before. It's recounted in the post titled, "Dancing While Black", where I was once removed from the dancefloor and searched at the (rightfully so) no-more Roxy. All because according to the sellout males of color who searched me, I "fit a description".

Never mind the fact that from what I've witnessed, since my coming out, the ones carried out of the bars/clubs for being wasted from drugs or booze has more than 80% of the time been white, followed their accepted person of color, light-complexioned Latinos.  Blacks and dark Middle Easterners are actually about 10%, or maybe less to be the ones carried out. So we're the good minority. Yet, you have the white heads of nightlife people treating us like we're the bad minority. Like the bad minority is supplying the drugs. And if nightlife people want to go that racist route, then let this scenario light a fuse in their sphincter that explodes when it reaches their stomach...

It's the simple law of economics. Supply & Demand. Even with illegal drugs. Let's say for argument's sake that the drug dealers are black. Well, if that black drug dealer is supplying the drugs, he can't supply the drugs if there is not a demand for product from the low sense of self-worth displayed by those white/light people and/or their Uncle Tom co-horts. So it's these white/light people needing to be carried out of the bar/club who keep the drug dealers in business. Plus, these blacks most likely don't have the connections to get these drugs. But the well-to-do whites targeted by go-go boys do. So there's your real supplier. Yet, just like with the American justice system, the racists running gay nightlife are targeting the black middlemen in the chain of the drug trade. As if that is going to solve the problem.

Well, I've seen some of the minority drug dealers no longer allowed to hang outside the bars. So if that was stopping the drugs, then why am I still being approached by whites asking me if I know where to get drugs? It's because their racist asses are still getting high!

This is what the white/light privilege and entitlement has brought to the gay community now???

It has already made white/light people of all ages feel entitled to touch go-go boys without tipping. Interrupting patrons of color who actually are tipping, all so they can make out with go-go boys, or buy them off the bar with money, promises of sex and/or drugs. All this, YET blacks still get racially profiled for being the main association with drugs and not tipping go-go boys. Well, if blacks do start ignoring go-go boys, you blame us based on how we're treated.

For while I'm sure what happened to me in this instance is not a common incident of racial profiling in gay nightlife, I'm sure it's a sign of the next step. That step where this sense of entitlement, privilege, and preferential hiring meant to cater to racism has now led to white/light staffers boldly racially profiling black patrons. For the racism promoters are catering to leads them to have no fear of consequence(s).

In fact, if the promoter or bar owner learns of this post, I'm sure that the most reprimand that will probably happen to that go-go boy afterwards is him being told to not approach me (specifically) again...because I'm a blogger.

The problem with that is just like many might not know of me as a blogger who calls out such occurrences, the next black person they approach in such an unprofessional manner could also be such a blogger. One even more popular than myself, but taken for granted because blacks are perceived by many as being powerless in the gay community, especially gay media. Or a white/light blogger who witnesses such actions, whose humanity and racial sensitivity make him find such actions from a go-go boy intolerable. Whatever his color, he might be an even more well known blogger whose post like this can do way more damage...

So party promoters and bar owners, THINK ABOUT THAT.

With that said, these promoters better check these go-go boys before bloggers like myself do it for them. Because I'm tired of people of my skin color and darker being made to appear as not good enough to dance on the bars and danceboxes of gay nightlife. Yet, these white/light boys are treated like the saints of beauty & sexuality. Being allowed to pull racist shit like this to patrons, and keep on dancing.

And I know such unprofessional behavior is not the case of every white/light go-go boy. And that's another reason I'm writing this post. For in recent years, I've seen too many go-go boys who are allowed to be this unprofessional that they put those who are professional under suspicion as being just as bad as them.

So THIS ALL NEEDS TO STOP!!! And if calling this situation out needs to be the beginning of that ignorance's end, then so be it.

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