Come See Me @ RUD: Family Affairs

As I mentioned it in a previous post, this is a reminder to my fans and readers living or vacationing near or around New York City of my appearance at this Thursday's "Red Umbrella Diaries: Family Affairs". I will be presenting a piece telling of my Mom learning about my porn persona and the connection between that and her dreams for me. It will be entitled, "What She Had In Mind".

Last week, while visiting the Red Umbrella Project website's posting of the event, I came across 2 comments. Both of which spoke negatively of me without even knowing me. I tried to walk away from the matter considering how often I went to the website and never even saw the 1st of the comments until 2 weeks after it was posted, so I thought no one really cared. However, I then realized that (1)just because I missed seeing the comments so long after their posting, doesn't mean that others didn't, and (2)we live in a time where individual thinking is a rarity, so people may listen to these people spewing hatred and jealousy. So feel free to go to the link, and see the insightful and intellectual rebuttal that I've become known for.  Then come Thursday, I hope to see you at "Red Umbrella Diaries: Family Affairs".

If you can't make it Thursday, don't fret. Because come next Wednesday on December 8th (as also previously mentioned), I will be appearing at The Will Clark Show featuring Porno Bingo. More on that in next week's reminder. Until then....

Do you believe in God? And regardless of your answer, would you DATE someone whose answer is the OPPOSITE of yours? I will give my answer after the 1st reply.

Since I got my 1st response here, I will now give my reply.

I long ago in a blog post revealed that I do believe in God, and chastised gays who give up that belief just because they come out as gay. What I didn't reveal is whether or not I would date someone who was an atheist.

The answer to if I could date an atheist is NO. It is not about me feeling superior as some might want to think, but there are some things that form who you are so much that having someone in your life that doesn't share that makes the relationship doomed to failed before it even begins. And I feel belief in God is one of those things.

My belief in God is what motivates the stands that I take, and while I know there are atheists who are able to take those same stands, I feel there's a passion, drive, and commitment to my convictions that my faith in God gives me that being an atheist would not. And for that reason, I can't see myself sharing a life with someone whose motivated by believing the standards and abilities they have are based totally on THEM.

For instance, I have a friend who is an atheist who said that people thanking God at award shows are lessening the importance of their part in what they've created. Well, people who believe in God have a degree of humbleness that makes us believe that it's not all about us. We believe the simple fact that we are able to wake up is a gift from God. So the fact we can breathe on our own, show off our talents and skills, and receive accolades for it are all gifts to be thankful for - and not to another mere human, but first and foremost to a higher power. By those who believe in God, an atheist thinking that those things all his/her doing is a viewpoint of arrogance, even if that atheist's normal behavior pattern shows the contrary. Hence why some God-believers seem fearful of an atheist's lack of belief in God. While for some, it may be based on a feeling of superiority. But for believers like myself (because if arrogance isn't my flaw, I do have others), it is based on my fearing the day that a situation arises that will force an atheist to reconsider his/her position. And I'm always hoping that it's not too drastic a situation.

For I have enough things to worry about in this world that can endanger the well-being of my significant other. Worrying about his basic belief system catching up to him by a higher power can't be one of them.

My blog may make me seem like an open book....but maybe I'm not, so ask away ;-)

Write That Down #29

I think I've made it quite clear that I'm not a fan of the Logo TV show, "The A-List: New York". But in the small amount of the show that I've seen, I do know that Austin has a long-distance relationship, and claims to be committed.

Well, he's not the first to be delusional enough to make such a claim, and sadly he won't be the last. Nor is it just gay couples fooling themselves to think that such a set-up can make for a worthwhile relationship. Straight couples do it as well. It's part of what contributes to the high divorce rate.

Knowing this, why do people put up with this? It's because they so desperately want to say, "I'm taken", "I'm spoken for", or "I'm married" that they'll settle for something that is doomed to fail. For in romantic relationships, the more time spent miles away in body, the more it makes you miles away in heart, mind, and soul. For the idea of "absence makes the heart grow fonder" was not meant for romantic relationships where you spend months (or days that add up to months) apart. I mean, these people need to ask themselves, How can you love each other if that being apart makes you not have a home together in the first place, OR you have a home together, but one or both of you are hardly at home?

With that in mind, my latest "Write That Down" quote is not just for gay relationships, but for ALL RELATIONSHIPS. It reads:

If the majority of your time does not have you in the same city as me, lessening the conflict of us getting together, then we are NOT in a relationship. The statement that "we're a couple" and/or the ring on your finger is just you being a guy/girl for show. For how can we love each other if that being apart makes us not have a home together in the first place, OR we have a home together, but we are separately hardly at home? We can't!

Recently on "1 Girl, 5 Gays", one question was, "Who would you do?" with the choices being 50 Cent and Jay-Z. Most of the guys answered 50 Cent. Is it an extreme display of a lack of individual thinking to not realize that NEITHER is an option?

Recently on "1 Girl, 5 Gays", one question was, "Who would you do?" with the choices being 50 Cent and Jay-Z. Most of the guys answered 50 Cent.Is it an extreme display of a lack of individual thinking to not realize that NEITHER is an option?

Answer here

Sex Party Etiquette: Focus On The Flesh

My rules of sex party etiquette not only applies to sex parties where money exchanges hands. They can also be applied to small gathering sex parties as well. Like situation that inspired my need to tell this story.

Over the weekend during an outing with a friend. I met a guy who I was attracted to. Once he started talking, the alarms went off. But as I'm sure many of you have done yourself, even with the alarms blaring, you ignored the signs to walk away or ease yourself out of the situation, and for some reason you proceeded to maintain conversation.

At one point of the conversation, he mentioned how he didn't like blogs because they eliminated the need for editors.Yes, alarms went off with this, but they came off a being false alarms due to the fact that I wasn't offended. Why wasn't I offended? Because (1 ) to a degree, I agreed with him. Although a blog is one's personal thoughts and opinions, some people do need to turn on the fuckin' Spell-check on their browsers, because you are putting this out there for the world to see, and poor spelling and lousy grammar doesn't say much for your intellect; (2) I'm confident enough in knowing how good I am at what I do with this blog that his opinion didn't phase me. Anyway, nothing much happened between us beyond that point. He was with his friends, I was with mine, so we eventually went our separate ways.

Tuesday night, I went to the NYC bar, The Cock. I ran into him again. When we started talking, we somehow got to talking about my blog again, and he said that he feels what I do is bullshit. Now, it's one thing to not like blogs in general because your thought process is so obsessed with book-smarts that you need a book for every goddamn thing, even the things where experience is the obvious better teacher since people have been doing it well for millenniums before you, but it's another to call what I do all out "bullshit", when you have yet to so much as read it. And I took the diplomatic approach, and told him that he can't call what I do "bullshit", until he does reads it. That seemed to shut him up on the matter, and my Aries ego was satisfied, which is probably why this loser still had a chance. I say "loser" because if he said something like that to me, then he his being a stereotypical argumentative attorney has made him say something like that or worse to others, and it makes him the perfect person to write about if I was to ever do a Part 2, or make a category out of "Why You're Single, Why I'm Single".

Now the alarms weren't false, but instead blaring. However, probably for the reasons I stated in "Why You're Single, Why I'm Single", I still kept company with this guy. Probably because I later discovered he was a Scorpio, and I've mentioned in the past how I'm drawn to water signs, and sex with them makes me insatiable. If only he could have lived up to that reputation, I would not be writing most of this post.

While with this guy, we ran into a guy we both already knew. The guy was having (I guess you could say) an "after-hours sex party" at his place. So a little before the bar closing at 4 A.M., a few of us filled up 2 cabs, and went over.

We all had a main guy we were into, but in a rare instance of group sex or orgies, all of us seemed to be some degree into each other. This guy I was supposed to be with however was making me sway...more and more by the second. When we got to the host's place, this guy decided to get on the host's computer, and start messing with the music he had playing for background. He messed with it to the point that he somehow made 2 songs overlap each other that didn't go well together, AND we later discovered that he broke the host's computer mouse.

While making the music such a focus, I started talking to a cute Italian that was in the group. The action was getting started. Clothes were coming off, including the Scorpio's, but the Scorpio seemed to have A.D.D. beyond measure. While I was with the Italian, he was on the bed with the others, and right in the middle of fooling around with them, he would jump up and concern himself with the music AGAIN by putting on his iPhone,  since the host turned off the computer. The annoyance the Scorpio was creating got to the point that the background wasn't just the music, but him debating with the host, and the host trying to tell him to focus of the 5 bodies on the bed.

YES, 5 BODIES ON THE BED, plus the host and the Scorpio makes 7 hot guys who were supposed to be going at it, but instead it was only 5. And us 5 were getting distracted by the Scorpio's bickering with the host. I was getting to the point that I felt like yelling, "Would you put a dick in your mouth and shut the fuck up?!"

But from the way he was behaving, he would have manage to either talk with a dick in his mouth, OR stop sucking on the dick so he could focus on the music again, instead of focusing on the lusting, naked bodies wanting attention from all sides on the bed. And if I'm not mistaken, he actually did do the latter. Eventually, he left, to none of our disappointment, as was shown by him becoming the topic of discussion. Luckily not for too long.

Some people in the past have told me that they live vicariously through me and my sex tales. Well, if that's the case, then I know you guys are seething right  about now (as I was) over how this guy was fucking up the hot energy flow of the party. With that in mind, I'll continue with the sexy details of what went down once he finally left....

Shortly after, we all were going at each other. The Italian was now plowing me with his big cock on his small frame while the other guys were going at other. Now, this was becoming the sex party that we all came here for. But thanks to the Scorpio, one thing was missing...the background music the host intended. But we made up for it. For the music playing was at that point, not made by singing and machines. Instead, the music was made by our moans and groans as we praised our sex partner's oral, cock, and anal prowess.

We then took a break, and while laying there in a pile on the bed stroking each others' legs, feet, chest, cocks, and asses, we got a sense that a Round 2 was looming. For when asked by the host, the other hottie bottoming was up for more, and being that when I bottom, I become a power-bottom, I also was up for more.

The other guy bottoming wore out one of his tops so that he fell asleep on the bed. So when Round 2 began, we went to the sofa. It turns out he seemed to have wore out the other top as well, who was a young-looking gorgeous Brazilian. So the Italian started fucking him, with me feeling both of them up and kissing them. Then while the Italian was going at him, the Brazilian woke up, and put on a condom to fuck me. The Brazilian had a nice bubble-butt that I couldn't resist groping while he pounded my ass in missionary position with the vigor of a jackrabbit . In fact, to help with the visual, if you've ever seen the hard quick thrust Corbin Fisher's signature model, Dawson gives a guy's ass or a girl's pussy, 

then you now know what my ass got put through by the Brazilian. And considering that it was without a doubt a bigger cock I was getting fucked with, I made sure to do my Kegels afterwards. That also explains why today, between him and the Italian, my glutes are finally getting over feeling the aftermath of their pounding. And it hurt so good.

Afterwards, we went back to the bed. Since we noticed he other top was now awake up as well with some morning wood to satisfy. So he fucked the other bottom again. Then one by one, the rest of us jerked off. I was the last to shoot my load. We all got dressed, and went on our way into the rising sun, because it was now after 7 in the morning.

After such a hot time, while I still treated you guys to a hot story, I realized this was a tale about "Sex Party Etiquette" because long after he was gone, this guy was still the topic of conversation. Even during our time laying in a pile between rounds, and before me and the Italian left. And not in a good way. Because instead of talking about how cute he was, we were talking about how that cuteness was overshadowed by his being a neurotic hot mess. So this guy needs to learn the balance between book-smarts and smarts about life that I often speak of. Because his being so much about book-smarts is why his lack of social skills nearly ruined everyone else's good time.

So this rule of sex party etiquette is in short, don't focus so much on the ambiance. Leave that to the host. As a guest, focus on the lust-filled flesh that's there to play with you by going into and/or wrapping around your lust-filled flesh.

Tré Xavier - Emotional Soldier or Coward?

A few months ago, I met a guy at a bar who I've made out with a couple of times. The making out was one of those intense sessions that make you wonder if there being something more to explore further is the reason for the intensity. So after our second run-in, when leaving the bar, he took my phone number. From there, we walked to the train station together. Before you ask, there was no intention of going home together that night. We just left together and rode the train together, that's all.

I notice that in most of these situations, that while I always think of myself as quiet, but in actuality, I'm the one who carries the conversation, and has to show courtesy and let the other person talk about himself. However, when I feel like I'm talking too much, and "hand over the mic", the other guy doesn't have much to say about himself. My thought is that I either told too much too soon, OR he has something to hide that he will probably spring on me after he feels that he's got me where I won't leave after hearing the news. This is what I've always called "emotional entrapment".

Well, we seemed to have a pretty good conversation. Very honest with each other. I did tell about my porn past, and how it contributed to the start of my blogging, along with my desire and present moves to take the "Tré Xavier" persona beyond porn. Then he dropped a bombshell question. It's wasn't a bombshell question to me as if it was a shocking question, but I felt he might not understand my answer like he seemed to understasnd all the other decision I've made for my life thus far.

He asked me what was the longest relationship I ever had. Once again, I told him the truth, even though I felt that he probably wouldn't be able to wrap his head around it. And I was right.

I told him that the longest I've been involved with a guy is a month, with the reason being that I have a knack for seeing that while no one is perfect, I am able to see the habit that they have that I CANNOT and SHOULD NOT live with within a month's time. And the main flaw I seem to draw is a guy being an emotional coward, which I seem to have drawn a couple of truck loads of in my life so far. I used my history with guys who text and email when they should actually talk as an example, while I was as emotinally open with them, as I was with him that very night, with the only technology used (if any) was TALKING on a telephone.

His reply was that for me to be out as long as I have, and not have a serious relatrionship made ME the emotional coward. Considering how much soul searching I do with myself to be the man that I am, his so-called assessment no doubt pissed me the fuck off.

I thought to myself, "I'm not William! I'm not Sam! I'm not Danny! I'm not Igor! With the list of names going the fuck on and on! I'm not popping a pill to help my so-callled chemical imbalance, when the truth is I'm just a chicken-shit about life! I'm not smoking on any pipe to escape my troubles and shame of the person that I am! Why?! Because I am neither of those things! I am not a chicken-shit about my life's hardships that I need a pill to numb me! Nor am I trying to escape my trials of life as a human being or that for being a gay man like the many addicts are out here doing!"

Rather than go off yelling that on the subway train, I maintained my calm. I told him that if I've been blessed to see those signs that there's no long-term future, why should I put up with the person? I'm not so desperate to appear to the world that I have someone that I'm willing to settle for less. And more importantly, I refuse to settle. So when I find someone who can make it beyond a month, I'm not going to jump the gun and start picking out house furnishings. I'm going to just take things to the next step. If that means a relationship, then I'll become a taken man, and thank God for making me so. If not, then I'll except the challenge fate has given me to continue on with my single life.

Unfortunately, his stop came soon after I said my peace. Since he had my phone number, if he wanted to continue this discussion, he could have shown the bravery and done so. But I have yet to hear from him. Hence why we can now add Brian from Washington to that list. For, if I'm willing to make my stands on this matter clear by furthering this discussion, yet he refuses to use the tools to do so when the power is in his hands, then who is really the emotional coward here?

That's what I thought.

They say opposites attract, which explains why an emotional soldier (I guess you could call me) draws in emotional cowards even for a couple of nights who want to feed off my bravery like a leech so they can get up the nerve to call me the coward that they refuse to acknowledge they actually are.

Write That Down #28

Entertainment mediums, from media forms to nightlife events can be quite influential in how we perceive things. Especially, when one is weak-minded. Such as how these mediums lead many to believe that to be White or any light-complexion is to be treated as if it's your birth-right to a sense of entitlement and to be considered "beautiful". Of course if the latter were true, then so many Whites and lighter-complexions wouldn't be making the tanning industry, plastic surgery, and medical procedures to fill certain areas such big money businesses.

When it comes to the beauty of Black males, these same mediums are quite limiting. Limiting by displaying the only beauty to be a dark-complexioned, muscled-up gym-rat who is usually bald (most likely to hide his African ancestry). Now considering the intellect displayed by more notable Blacks fitting that description in the media spectrum from hip-hop to gay porn, that doesn't speak well for Black males...AT ALL.

It has gotten to the point that one who doesn't fit that status quo of beauty (like myself) has no choice but to instill in themselves the knowledge of their beauty. For these mediums refuses to confirm my beauty, and there are too many more weak-minded followers (as opposed to TRUE individuals) allowing themselves to become susceptible to these mediums' influences. That is why regardless of your ethnicity or fit physique you have that doesn't receive a proper amount of praise, I strongly advise you to keep in your heart my latest "Write That Down" quote which reads:

When someone tells me I'm good-looking, and I respond by saying "Really?" or "Oh, stop!", that response is not a sign of self-doubt. Because to be honest, contrary to what entertainment mediums says about my degree of Black skin and physique, I have enough self-confidence to know that I am a beautiful man - on the outside that is amplified by my being beautiful inside. Instead, my reactions that may be mistaken for self-doubt, is actually my being pleasantly shocked at how there are still a few people in society who amidst all the media hype of what beauty is, are enough of an individual thinker to notice my beauty, which doesn't fit that brand hyped by most entertainment mediums.

Tré Xavier - Attention Whore

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not actually an "attention whore". True, I am an Aries, and I love attention...that I bring upon myself, but I personally am not a whore about it. Another thing those close to me know is that I'm quick to laugh and poke fun at myself. And after you learn the details of this post, you'll see how I can make fun of myself, because I can't help but smile after the fact.

A week before Halloween, I was scheduled to do another photoshoot with my friend, Photo Freedom. What had me a little more excited about this shoot compared to past ones is the fact that in the end, I was going to be showing off pictures of the beauty of others along with myself. Considering the fact that there were 4 other names listed with me on the schedule, I had no idea of what to expect. This was the case of once again where I try something new and an extreme situation ensues.

When I first arrived, there were only 2 other models there. Both of them Black. The photographer started me off with some solo shots. Then one of the other models in solo shots. After that,the photographer paired us together. The chemistry was good.

During our pairing, the other 2 models scheduled with us showed up. They were Latino, and MUY CALIENTE. I noticed one of them seemed to be checking me out, but I wasn't sure. And I refused to let it weigh on my mind as I was trying to keep it professional.

Before the photographer did the Latinos, he wanted to do some shots of all 5 of us models together. We started out clothed, then became shirtless, then became nude. I was the guy in the middle the entire time. And the Latino model who I thought was checking me out kept playing with my ear.

His playing with my ear made me wonder, was playing with a guy's ear his thing, or by some off chance, did he know who I was, therefore knew I was an Aries? You see, if you're deep enough into astrology, then you know that (besides a proper fondling of his cock) anywhere from the neck up is an erogenous zone for an Aries male. That explains my cock being a tad bit longer and thicker in the nude group shots. And it only got longer and thicker as this shoot went on.

This same Latino model was enjoying himself to say the least. He then wanted pictures taken with me and my original partner. Afterwards, him and the other Latino took pictures together.

The other Black models left, while I was getting dressed. Then the photographer told me that I didn't have to go. I guess he realized that I was enjoying that Latino model as much as he was enjoying me. So after the 2 Latinos took pictures of them paired together, that Latino model got paired with me. So you see, with all this attention not being my fault by being an "attention whore", I will admit that the pheromones shooting off in that studio were making me a bit whorish.

At one point, I almost lost it. As we got close for some of the shots, the chemistry was so there that we were stroking each other's bodies and had no problem looking each other right in the eyes. The point where I saw myself nearly lose it was when in the midst of that grazing and stroking each other, I grunted. That same grunt you make when you're in the heat of passion with someone, and about to fuck like wild animals. I almost giggled out of embarrassment, but I turned my near-giggle into a grin to make for better photos....

....So how did I do?

Is it any surprise of how that night I went home, and beat my meat fantasizing about that guy using the feel of his smooth skin as an enhancer to the fantasy? It's probably not politically correct to reveal that. But when have I ever been "politically correct"?

After all, I'm sure after seeing that slideshow, you're about to do the same thing right now....That is if you haven't already, so I'll leave you to that. Enjoy ;-)

Red Umbrella Diaries→New Bio+Porno Bingo

This past Tuesday, I received an email from Audacia Ray, who on the 1st Thursday of the month, hosts "The Red Umbrella Diaries", an event which features guests telling true stories about the sex industry. In this email, based on her liking of my video, "Mom Critiques: She ____s My Vlog", she extended an invitation for me to speak about my family dealing with my porn career at the next Red Umbrella Diaries on December 2nd, since the theme will be "Family Affairs".

This was an invitation that I was honored to have received, and gladly ACCEPTED.

Also in the email, Audacia asked me if she should use the photo and bio that is in my emails. I told her not to because (1)I recently took new photos with PhotoFreedom (*upcoming blog post), and was hoping to get them soon, and (2) even if I didn't get the photos by week's end like she wanted, her request made me realize that I needed a new bio, because the one in my emails might be from before my retirement.

When one begins writing their own bio with the utmost honesty, sometimes they don't realize how much they've accomplished. Because we all have bouts of self-doubt. And I am no different. That's why after taking an honest look at my life since retiring from porn, I was shocked to see how much I had to add on to my original bio. But just as I say about a guy's cock, "It's not the size, but what you do with it that matters", I see that all the space this bio takes up, the content of it shows that I shouldn't doubt myself. And as long as I stay true to my values, AND grow in my values, doubting myself is not an option. So the bio I sent Audacia reads:
___________________________________________________________

Tré Xavier is a predominately gay bisexual entertainer and author who writes about sex, life & love in his blog, "Tré's X-Ray Vision". While he has retired from performing in studio-based gay porn, his continued exhibitionist displays online and telling of his sexual adventures and explorations for his blog maintains his being considered an adult entertainer.


During his time in the industry, Tré's writing skills at creating vivid pictures and expressing valid points has led to him writing blog entries for Pitbull Production's ThugPornBlog, and more recognizably, MOC Blog, which he still maintains being a contributing writer for. He has also had his opinions published in a book review for FlavaMen Magazine, and in the Feedback section of The Advocate. In the vein of his published words on MOC Blog and in The Advocate, he is an active and well-recognized voice for racial equality in gay adult entertainment by way of comments on various websites like Fleshbot, Gay Porn Times, and The Sword. And since retiring, Tré's voice fighting for that racial equality continues to be heard by the aforementioned, and even more places now as he has spread to fighting for it in gay mainstream entertainment as well, including most recently the gay cable channel, LOGO. All this while he resurrects his skills as an actor, dancer, singer, artist, poet, and songwriter. Most of which can be found on his YouTube channel.

___________________________________________________________________

And don't worry, this long bio is not going into my emails. But before I edit that, I must also announce how....

After a 2-year absence, on Wednesday, December 8th, I will return to Will Clark's Porno Bingo. I've have been there often as a patron before and since my announcing my retirement from the porn industry last year, but this will be my first time back as a GUEST CALLER.

Please keep those dates in mind, December 2nd & 8th. And I may have 1 more to add to those 2. So if you're in the NYC area....don't be a stranger. ;-)

More SeXy_PaPi_911

OK, I admit it! I can't beat my meat enough to this HOT Latin tease from "In Lust With....SeXy_PaPi_911". EVERY video makes me want to fuck his ass so long and hard that even with my high stamina...even I would need Viagra. 

Now, in this newer video, we get to see his ass from a new angle. An angle that re-affirms that there is no doubt in my mind that if I were to fuck his ass, that even after I shoot my load into the condom, I'm not pulling out. Because that would only be Round 1, and my dick is going to swell again in that hole soon after so I can go for Round 2....and 3, and 4.

Check out one of his latest videos, and you'll see why.

And if that didn't make you bust a nut quickly, then this should get you there. Because you know how I like HOT guys to be WET. So this video makes put me on the verge of busting a nut without even touching myself. But what's the fun in that? That's why I stroke carefully so that I bust for the length of the video.
WARNING: HAVE CUM TOWEL ON STAND-BY



Now, go off to have your SAFE & HORNY WEEKEND! ;-)

Space Invaders 3: Who's Smarter?

Last Wednesday, I made Will Clark's Porno Bingo my 1st stop for the evening. After that ended, I was considering going to the East Village and venturing to The Urge and The Cock, but since it was too early in the night, I needed to kill time. With that in mind, I went a few blocks east then north of Pieces Bar to Splash Bar to kill time at their Wednesday night party, Ocean. I ran into Danny, and we hung out for a bit. He was waiting for friends, and because of our past, I had no intention of putting myself in the mix of that. So I went off doing my own thing there. I actually found myself having so much fun that I was considering not going to the East Village at all, but I decided to anyway.

That came close to being a big mistake.

I went to The Urge, when they were in the middle of their weekly Ass Contest. I was watching it from the upper-level of the bar. Where I was standing, there was a railing and 2 steps about a yard or so to my right to get to that upper-level. Being that much inward and with my small frame, I knew I was in no one's way of coming and going up and down those 2 steps.

I was having fun. I saw an old acquaintance sitting in the corner of the bar behind me. I said 'Hello' to him, and went back to watching the contest from that same spot by the railing. Then the energy changed as this grey-haired White man in a black sports jackets came up those steps to my right. The next thing I knew, he placed his right hand to the right of my right hand, which means his body was now behind mine as if to close me in. Anyone with any sense of good manners and etiquette knows that this is invasive of one's personal space. Especially when we never made eye-contact before or during him being so close to me. So to avoid an explosion of rage over this intrusion, I did a slide to my left, and went to the corner of the bar with my old acquaintance. My acquaintance was eyewitness to the whole incident. We made faces at each other about it tried to laugh it off. Of course, I was trying to laugh off my being pissed about how I had to move my place to watch the contest because this fuck-headed desperado violated my personal space so.

After the contest, without having a single drink of alcohol, I went over 2 doors down to The Cock. Mind you, even though that is a spot notorious for pick-ups (as a recent blog entry showed), I go to the bar to be around sexual energy, as opposed to picking up a sex partner. To clarify, I go to a bar to observe people letting their sexual hang-ups go, and if you direct that energy at someone, then do it by first and foremost respecting the personal space of the object of your desire. If they are not interested, then you move on.

Evidently, not everyone has enough class to feel that way. For while I was at the bar in The Cock waiting to order a drink, I felt someone's energy behind me. Then that energy became combined with body contact against my back. Then more body, and more body. And I became fed up, because my sixth sense knew that I did not know this person...at least in a good way. I turned, and it was that grey-haired White guy from The Urge. I was already getting angry because I felt this was the 2nd person to invade my personal space in 1 night. But I became beyond fucking enraged to discover that this 2nd person was actually the same person from the 1st invasion of my space. Well, there are times when you just had enough. And this was one of those times. Not at full strength, but I pushed him off of me.

I looked at him and said, "Back up!".

He replied, "Don't push me! I was just standing here."

I told him, "Don't look in my face, and lie! I felt you pushing your body on me. Now, back the fuck up!"

He then said, "I may be older than you, but I'm also smarter than you."

I looked at him and said, "Really?! I think you need to take your drunken desperate ass and get the fuck away from me! I am not the one tonight!"

He backed off, and no one in the bar seemed to really notice the exchange that just transpired. Then I went over to the bar, and ordered a drink. I got my drink, and moved away from the bar. As I stood there, I saw the creep walk out looking at me. I don't know if it was a look of disappointment in me or himself as he had to him walk out with his tail between his legs. But I could care less, as long as he was away from me.

The possible logic that made him have the fuck-faced audacity to think he was smarter is what almost made my dark side from "Good Tré, Evil Tré" reach the surface....in the most heinous way possible. Because what made him think he was smarter than me? The fact that he was a White male in a sports jacket? If that was the case, then it was the stereotypical White American culture at play placing book-smarts over smarts about life.

And that's not a racist statement. How often do we hear White Americans (and minorities who crave to assimilate the stereotypical ways) say that a quality that makes them desirable is their being "educated", instead of being "overall intelligent", and that intelligence being more about book-smarts than smarts about life? The answer is : A great many.

I try to maintain a balance between book-smarts and smarts about life, with smarts about life taking presidence. Now, lets examine this guy claiming that he was smarter than me. If he was really smarter than me, like he claimed he was, then would he have been invasive of my personal space making himself open to endure the punishment I could have bestowed upon him for being that intrusive?

OR was I the smarter one, who in a split second saw the big picture and domino effect of what would have happened had I bestowed that a punishment on him beyond my verbal attack, which made me maintain my composure? And why did I need to maintain my composure? Because that punishment to him beyond verbal verbal would have been me grabbing him by the hair, slamming his head into the bar, and cracking his skull, maybe to the point of exposing that so-called brain in his head. However, the big picture and domino effect to follow would be me facing 25 to life (maybe even the death penalty), which includes jail time possibly being rape repeatedly by a big, burly cell-mate named Bubba.

So who had more to lose, and who took the high road, and practiced the proper restraint because of it, therefore showed themselves to be the smarter one? Me, ME, ME, MEEEEEE!


I know some sicko out there is reading this and thinking that I should be flattered that he wanted me so. And I would have been flattered, had my space not been invaded so by his initial approach at The Urge. Because what could have been flattering quickly became violating. With all thanks to him...another space invader.

how did dancing at the cock go?

I don't feel comfortable reading sentences or answering questions that have letters in lower-case that should be capitalized. It says something about one's self-esteem, or a lacking in it of some kind. I answered one question like this, but I won't answer another. One of the questions I posed previously addressed this very matter.

I don't mean to seem bitchy, but I want you to present yourself to me and everyone else the same self-pride that I do my damnedest to present to you and my reading public. Thank you.

My blog may make me seem like an open book....but maybe I'm not, so ask away ;-)