Monday, September 29, 2008
Sexy Light To Medium, Now To Dark
Saturday, September 27, 2008
If You Shave Me, Do You Save Me?
That got me to wondering why do some people do that?
I have heard that some do it because their partners complain about their pubic hair. And that's in both, straight and gay relationships. My feeling is if you're in a relationship, take him/her as they are. If they're hairy on their body or pubic region, what right do you have to try and change that? To be more direct, how dare you have the fuck-faced audacity to play God? What gives you the right to fix your lips to have these men and women strip themselves of part of them by requesting (and in some cases demanding) that they remove one of the very things that make them a man or woman in the 1st place.
Maybe I'm one of the few who has the utmost respect for the creativity it took for God to makes us the beautiful individuals that he made each of us to be, so body hair is not a hindrance in my eyes. A lot of overall body hair, may not be my favorite thing, but I wouldn't deny a guy the chance to be my boyfriend over it. And out of that respect for God's creation, I would never suggest something like electrolysis. If I was blessed to find myself in love with a hairy man who loves me back, then I'll love my hairy man. Now, as far as pubic hair goes, whether it's a little or alot, my man better not touch a single hair. When I dive in to suck his dick, I love having his coarse hair there in my face. Just as I love to lick hair while I lick his balls. Just as I love feeling his pubic hair hit against my ass as he puts his entire cock into my hole. Why? Because that pubic hair is a sign of his manhood. You may decide to trim it. I personally don't even like the thought of trimming. Because it's running along that fine line towards making yourself into an epitome of the derogatory meaning behind the word, "faggot", which is unacceptable in my book.
While I am chastising people who demand others to remove their body hair, especially pubes, I will admit that I myself do shave off my little bit of chest hair and trim my pubes ONLY along my inner thigh for public appearances. But it's my choice to do so. No one else is allowed to make that demand of me. Be they a trick, or a significant other.
Yes, I once had a possible trick have the fuck-faced audacity to try to make me shave off my small amount of body hair. That's why the ass he could have possibly enjoyed, became the impossible for him to ever have. Just goes to show you that it's better to have an ass, than it is to be an ass.
I am more than aware that many guys sweaty pubes emit a musky scent. It's natural, so get over it. As long as I can't smell it when you have any kind of clothing on, I could care less, because it means you have a clean body. It's a scent that I can easily not be appalled by if the only time I get whiff of it is when burying my head in a guy's crotch, because I know that scent comes from the sweat he's accumulated there from being an active man. And that's one thing a real man should be - active.
In the matter of pubic shaving, I can easily say to each his/her own. You have to make that call if you're going to allow someone to dictate doing that to you. But as far as I'm concerned, to answer the question of the title, I say NO. Actually instead you berate me by you (instead of myself) deciding to take away one of the unique qualities that make me the unique beautiful creation God made.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
My "When I Knew" Moment
I however became a specified guest when I walked in the room, and one of the other guest remembered me from the time I was a scheduled guest for a screening of my movie, "The Interview". When her started talking to me, many of the other members and guests were listening to what we were saying to each other, so after that I knew practically everyone knew a porn actor was in the room, which I'm sure sparked quite a bit of curiosity of my "when I knew" moment. With that in mind, after the movie I waited quite a bit, then gave a brief version of my "when I knew" moment. So I decided here to give a more detailed version of my "when I knew" moment.
Ever since I was in grade school, I've struggled with my attractions between both girls and boys, so I've always knew something about me was a little different. Either I was a little different, or my attractions were something many boys felt, but it was against the rules of manhood to admit to it. My main concern however was the fact that I always feared that if I was with a woman, that a man could easily come along and take me away from her. I should have known that in my bisexuality, homosexuality was more dominant, because vice versa of the aforementioned scenario was never the case.
The lying to myself got so bad that when I was in the 6th grade, I wrote a note to myself with the purpose of I guess you could say, "scare myself straight". My mother found this note and gave me this long lecture about how when a man sleeps with a man he immediately goes to hell. That lecture had me in such fear, that I was unable to cope with the slightest downfall in my life during my teenage years. And with the over-dramatizing teenagers do with their problems, that could have had dire results, because I was so unable to cope that any problem that arose, I would contemplate suicide. I lived on that ledge for about 15 years of my life. All that time having no real friends, no real social life, and not dating. Therefore never discovering for myself with any certainty of where I lied within the sexuality spectrum.
It was 2002, I was already 30, and just a few weeks from turning 31, and my conscience being verbally abusive as it is when I really need to do something told me, "Look at yourself. You're fuckin' pathetic. Here you are about to turn 31, and you still have no fuckin' idea as to whether you're straight, gay, bi, or straight but so curious that you're fantasizing about gay sex, when you might not like it if you try it. Well, there's one way to find out for sure. So stop being a chicken shit bitch, and go for it."
At the time, due to the fact I was going to enter a modeling contest that I chickened out of, the only gay establishment I knew of was the venue the contest was held at. That venue was Splash Bar in NYC. I won't rehash the entire night again, you can read it in a couple of past entries. What I will rehash is the fact that when I walked in the door, I felt a sense of my search for myself being almost over. I say "almost" because I knew that while I was in a gay establishment, I still possessed an attraction to women that had yet to be sexually satisfied in any kind of way, BUT it was by no means as strong as my attraction to men, so I wasn't that bothered by satisfying it. Which explains why I was able to wait until this past year to explore and enjoy it at a bi-sex party.
I know my being a porn actor makes many believe that when I came out to myself at long last, that I came out with a vengeance. Maybe so, and I am by no means advising others that bottled up to take that route. You should come out first to yourself in your own way, and in your own time. And to those who have already done so, CONGRATULATIONS. And to those that haven't, October 11th may be National Coming Out Day here in the U.S., but that doesn't mean that has to be the day you make that revelation to yourself, or anybody else. Find your own day, and I wish you the best, therefore extreme safety in you discovering yourself.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Abracadabra, Make The Condom - APPEAR!
I have to agree with Chi Chi LaRue in his "Wrap It Up" promos where he says in a nutshell that people watching these hot guys having sex in movies may follow what they do, and that includes whether or not they wear a condom. And agreeing is why, while I've seen some hot barebacking scenes, and been offered the opportunity to work with a studio that has produced some of those hot barebacking scenes, I personally have made the decision to not get in front of a camera and do a barebacking video myself.
We hear often about the controversy over barebacking between studios who do it, and those who don't. What troubles me is that many of the studios that don't do barebacking seem to tease us with the thought of fucking a guy bareback by slapping the bottom's ass with a bare cock, then next thing you see is the top's dick already inside the bottom's ass with a condom on it. Filmed with a continuity that would suggest that the condom just magically appeared on the top's cock.
This causes me to fear that many of the condom-only companies are on the verge of hypocrisy. Because to film the sex scene in that manner would suggest that there's either a degree of shame and/or lack of eroticism about putting on a condom. I find neither to be the case personally. Putting a condom on my partner gives me a little more time to play and wrap around his cock with my skin-lusting hands before I wrap around it with my eager-to-be-filled asshole.
So my question is, why don't so many companies that stand behind the importance of condom use, create an erotic display for putting on a condom? I have said before that we must take responsibility for the art we create. With that in mind, it's only right that condom-only companies stop hiding the putting on of a condom from viewers. It shows the porn company taking responsibility because they know that the art they are producing influences gay men, of every age, nationality, color, and creed.
When I told a friend of mine I was writing this post, he said to me that some people probably wouldn't want to see the process of putting on a condom, because they don't want to be reminded of the reality of HIV/AIDS while watching sexual fantasies in a video. To that I say, "TOUGH!" That may seem harsh. But it is reality. A harsh reality that we all have to deal with.
The problem is that many artists of not just adult, but all forms of visual entertainment have become so power-hungry in wanting to create the entire image you see in your head, that they have taken the power away from the viewer to create their own fantasy without the viewer even knowing that they've lost that power. That power being for the viewer to use his/her own imagination.
While being well aware of the harsh reality that HIV/AIDS still exist and has yet to go away, I escape that harsh reality in my masturbatory fantasies. And we need to, because trying to use porn movies to escape it by not making putting on a condom part of the erotic journey puts lives at risk, because a porn movie is made from live action, meaning actual human lives have to partake in what you are seeing, what you are enjoying. Now some of you may undersatnd my dislike of gay-for-pay actors. It's the same principal. You're influencing a fantasy that should never to be seen in any live action art, as it denies the viewer to use his/her imagination in a situation where he/she needs to.
Do I wish I could have a visual fantasy without the reality of HIV/AIDS? Of course I do, just as much as the next guy. Maybe it's my struggle with myself to come to terms with my true sexual identity that made me this way, but in live-action fantasies which puts human lives are at stake, I need to see truth. Even if that truth is a saddening one. But if we all remember to use the power of our imaginations for masturbatory fantasies, we can have a pleasing moment of escaping some saddening truth.
There is a way to escape.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Some Great Going-Ons
For starters, I now have a Yahoo Group. It's called the Tré Xavier Fan Sanctuary. The idea of doing a Yahoo! group for me originally came from my friend, Papi Chulo. The problem was me waiting so long to take him up on his offer, that by the time I got around to it, his blog had already started to take off so it made him too busy to do it. He was kind enough to give me some advice about promoting it, and for that I thank him wholeheartedly.
So if you want to keep updated on my going-ons like appearances, blog updates, and pics that used to be on my site just enter your email address in the space to your left and get started on becoming a member.
There's something else you can get updates on by becoming a group member.
Victor Hoff of Men Of Color Blog recently approached me about doing a weekly online chat along the lines of a Porn Week In Review and posting it on Men Of Color Blog. He appropriately entitled it "CONVERSATIONS". That's appropriate because even with it being an online chat, it really flows well like a conversation you were having with a friend on the phone or face-to-face, instead of the usual staggering that goes along with normal online chats.
I was quite nervous with it at first, but after this past week's installment, I thinking I'm coming back into being my normal self with it, and if that means being a smart-ass mouth, then being a smart-ass is what I'll be. At least the truth always comes out in the end. And you never know who will be our target of conversation. This past week it was Ajay from SeanCody.com, Michael Lucas, and Kurt Wild getting fired from Subway. The week before that, I mentioned my porn fantasies of non-porn (but Olympic) star, Michael Phelps induced by the bulges in all the right places you can see in pics of him in that new Speedo Lazr Racer.
Lately, I've been so busy with this and other projects that I was either finding myself forgetting to submit a post to Pitbull, and/or writing a post quickly because more time than I personally would have liked had passed. So I felt since I was not in a position to continue giving the quality of writing ThugPornBlog readers have come to expect from me, than the best thiing for me to do was to let it go. I am grateful for the opportunity that Pitbull gave me, and for that, they will always have a place in my heart.
So like I said, you never know who's a target, but it will always lead us back to adult entertainment.
I can't express how happy I am about doing an internet search for my blog, and finding my blog named in Audacia Ray's blog, nakedcity.com as 1 of 6 Porn Star blogs worth reading. I hope that you all agree with what she said about this blog, as I hope to continue to writing with the same incisiveness and insight that made it catch her and your eye in the 1st place. I know very, very, VERY few porn actors are willing to say the things I say here. Well, I believe they are things that should be said, for the bettering of not always just the adult industry, and not just for the gay community, but for the human race overall. And I'm glad someone publicly took note of the fact that I take that risk by being so blunt with my insights.
So THANK YOU all for your support, and I hope to continue to do right by you.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Feeling Frisky, Hot Jock?
I read about it on a new hook-up site called, FriskyList.com.
From the moment I walked into the room, with a bunch of guys just standing around, eyes fell on me. The 1st guy I noticed was a tall well-built Asian with some 6-pack abs to die for. I wasn't sure if he noticed me, but I got my answered not too long after I started to move from standing almost in the middle of the floor. He moved so casually I didn't even notice that he wound up behind me. I could just feel the presence of someone behind me, and when I turned to look out of the corner of my eye to get a glance, I realized it was him. So I stayed there, I felt his crotch move up against my ass, then he arms came around me, and my fun night began.
This was less than 5 minutes after walking into the room, so while knowing he was cute with a nice smooth ass, and extremely fuck-worthy cock, I felt the need to pace myself before lubing my hole to take in his cock that I wanted badly. So me and the Asian made out heavily. I did give him quite a blowjob. But the longer I sucked it, the more I wanted to fuck it. Because I knew I was hitting the spot when I made that muscle along the shaft throb as if he's shooting a load. After that, I moved on to some more action.
The 1st conquest was someone I noticed watching me after I spotted the hot Asian. And this was one of 2 times I became the bottom you see in movies. He looked like he could have been a Raging Stallion Exclusive if he wanted to. He had an edgy look with his bald head, mustache, great body, and what I like in a fuck partner be they my top or bottom - a great ass. And I definitely massaged it while he bent me over that bed and fucked me from behind.
You may be getting anxious to see me top after I tell you this - while I bottomed only 2 times, I topped at least 3 times that much on a variety of nationalities, with me doing a couple of them more than once. I told you there were alot of nice bods there. And each time I topped, I drew a crowd. It had me wondering, "What's the big deal? It's just a Black man's dick in a White guy's ass. I'm sure you've seen it in a porno at one time or another."
Then one of my observations of the evening hit me. Sure they've seen a Black guy like very muscular Marcus Williams or an intimidatingly huge and well-built guy like Diesel Washington fuck a White guy. BUT to see a lean and simply toned Black man topping a White guy. THAT was something new, and they were getting that view live and in color. After each time I topped, I got compliments from some of them telling me how hot that was to them.
These 2 situations lead to my next observation:
(1)There was a guy who I went down on, and I wanted to him to fuck me soooo bad. From what I saw most of the evening, he turned out to be more of a bottom. Emphasis on "more of" meaning that I did get to see him top, just not with me. But when he did top some one, he fucked him so hard, it made me more sure that I would have enjoyed him inside me.
(2)There was another guy, who for whatever reason to me, had an edge that would have made me perceive him to be a top, but he bottomed more, including with me. And here again, emphasis on "more", because he did top someone - and that someone was me. He banged into my ass so incredibly hard. The guys crowded around couldn't get enough of watching, and I couldn't get enough of him pounding me.
Because this is where my next observation hit me.
These guys both seemed to be some degree of versatile, as I am. And also like myself, when they decided to top, they lay into ass with such a savage passion, you can't help but get off, and (if you're any degree of a bottom) wish it was your ass that was getting thrust into.
This made me think back to the guys who are the best tops I've ever been with, and most of them, I have to admit, claim to be some kind a versatile. I'm not saying guys who are strictly tops can't be phenomenal fucks, but from my experience, that Hot Jock Party enlightened me to the fact that the percentage of better tops is greater in guys who claim to be have some degree of versatility. And it makes perfect sense, because by being some degree of versatile, you have a better chance of knowing what to do to in order to stimulate your sex partner to levels unseen since you have been in their position at one time or another.
So should I go again, what will I learn at the next party. I'm bound to learn something.,And if I don't, I guest I'll just have to enjoy being in the midst of a horde of hot lusting bodies. Believe me, I am by no means complaining. Trust me.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Can I Watch You Fuck - HER?
Friday, September 12, 2008
The Runway Scene by Le SUPERSTEIN
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Mainstream to Porn: Video Proof
I always mentioned that before I got into adult entertainment, I was doing mainstream performing. Yet, I never gave you much proof of this. Some of you may have seen the trailer to an independent film I did some years ago called, "Jaded" under the stage name, LeNair Xavier Taprovo. Or you may have stopped and seen my spot as an extra in the movie, "trick". But you've never seen me where it's all me. And even after you view this, you still will not have seen me in a mainstream performance where it's all me.
The reason why is because in this video (shot in 2002), I'm showing some choreography I came up with for a singer. And I was in an extreme time crunch to come up with the dance moves and teach them to 5 other dancers. That 5 became 1 as dancers were dropping out left and right. I myself was on the verge of dropping out. What made me stay was my needing the choreography credit on my resume.
I can't speak for the other dancers, but for myself, what had me on the verge of quitting was (1) the fact that I was not allowed the control a choreographer is supposed to have in a rehearsal; (2) the rehearsal schedule was an extremely demanding one. Such as 5 times a week, and each one being 3 and 4 hours that were sometimes planned to go until 11PM, AND NO PAYMENT IN SIGHT FOR SUCH DEMANDS. Especially when you take into account practically everyone had a day job to get to the next day. I at the time was unemployed, which is the only reason I was able to come up with any kind of choreography in that short a time frame. Maybe because she was so used to doing everything regarding the music, she didn't know how to let go, and let others (like myself) do their appointed job. I hope she has since learned different.
With all that in mind, don't be too critical of my choreography skills. But I'm sure you can tell, if I came up with this in such a time crunch back then, imagine what I can do now, be it in a time crunch or a proper amount of time.
Also, don't be too critical of the video quality of the dance performance. That's also not my fault. I don't know about the original tape, but the copy I was given was dubbed in EP mode onto a VHS copy of the movie "HEAT". And all techno-geeks can tell you that EP mode lessens the quality of the video.
So sit back a few minutes and enjoy, maybe even have a good laugh at my expense. But if you've seen me at a club, you know I can move. It's just that now I use that knowledge of rhythm for sexual entertainment as well.
I used Kylie Minogue's song "Fever" in the closing credits because that is the song I danced to in order to get the gig.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Curb Your Cynicism
My friend's response was, "He's still alive?"
I looked in to my phone, then replied to him, "Excuse me?!"
He said, "They're going to vote him to his death."
Most I have told the tale of this conversation to have called his words to be based in racism. Maybe I am in some way (as stated in a previous blog post) coming to the defense the way friends do initially even when that friend is wrong, but I (at least for now) consider his words to be more so based in cynicism.
Cynicism can be funny, but in some places, there is no place for it, and considering the state of emergency this country is in - cynicism has no place. Because cynicism is brought on by a lack of faith in whatever said subject matter.With that in mind, I remember saying quite a bit to him, and making quite a few references about him having a lack of faith. And that's what everyone who is willing to vote for Barrack Obama is having - FAITH. Even if they have the fear of him being assassinated. They are having FAITH. FAITH in someone saving this country from the sewage pit of misery it is becoming thanks to George W. Bush and the like is what keeps people holding on.
The reason I can't really recall what I said exactly is because when I get to a certain degree of rage to something said, when I return fire to it, I can't recall my words verbatim. All I can remember is the fact that my target has shut his/her ignorance spewing hole. And such was the case here. I am writing this entry since I'm calmer from my outburst, I can more clearly say some of the things I was thinking during that phone conversation that I avoided at the time of that talk, because had I said it then, I would have broken one of my personal rules. That rule being to not waste my cell phone minutes screaming and hollering at someone's ignorance over the phone.
This friend claims that he was just being realistic. I returned by telling him, "NO! You're not being realistic. You're being pessimistic. "
What people need right now is a solution to the problems, like families torn apart by the war in Iraq, people out of work due to outsourcing, and the list goes on and on thanks to George W. Bush. And if this friend is not one of those people who have faith that Barrack Obama can be the solution, then he is one of the people who are part of the problem.
Another thing that enraged me so much about his initial statement is that this was a historic night for me, because believe it or not, I don't follow politics. And this night, I decided to take note. I voted in the last election for John Kerry, but not because I found him that immensely competent, but because I felt something had to be better than the disaster George W. Bush was bringing us into. The disaster we are living in now. So hearing Barrack Obama's speech meant a great deal to me. Not because he's considered Black (when he's actually bi-racial), but because I do find Barrack Obama to be a brilliant individual. And as many people may not want to hear it, hoping I just go the spiritual route, I'm going the religious route regarding this matter, and living by the old saying that goes, "Let go, let God". In other words, leave it in the hands of God to handle the outcome of this election, and what happens thereafter. Say a prayer that God will watch over Barrack Obama and us, so that we can have a way better tomorrow than the one we are headed for in this style of government continues.
With that in mind, I would like to think that God forbid Barrack Obama becomes President and is assassinated, I at least have faith that God will grant him the time on this earth to pave the way for this country to have better days than it is having now. The same way God granted Martin Luther King, Jr. the time to pave the way for better days before was taken from this earth.
The last thing, that enraged me about that statement which is why I am not totally throwing out the possibility of this person's statement being a racist jab is the fact that maybe even a year before primaries began, he was constantly ending phone conversations telling me to vote, and make sure I'm registered.
My question is "What changed?"
Now, all of the sudden, he as he claims "can't vote for someone who going to be assassinated." What kind of 2-faced bullshit is that? He has now made himself, just as 2-faced and hypocritical as the common politician.
All this makes me question who am I associating myself with. Someone too immature to know when cynicism is proper to voice and when it's not. Someone so void of faith that they want to bring your hopes down, because after all, misery does love company.
Well, I need time to hash this out, because those words this person spoke mean something about his character. Therefore if I see these things to be the case, then this friendship will have to be terminated. So in this case, I'm doing what I always do - I'm hoping for the best, and doing what I hate having to do when the situation arises - expecting the worst.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Space Invaders 2
While I had fun a helluva lot of fun as usual at Daniel's parties, there was a moment where my space was very much intruded upon.
I got on the line for the bathroom. There was this guy there in his underwear, with a bit of a beer gut who I knew was drunk off his ass, standing behind me in the line. He was acting like he couldn't keep still, and he would constantly bump into me. And it wasn't a bump like an accidental one. You knew these bumps were for the purpose of making his presences known to me, and hoping I would reciprocate. First of all, there is nothing sexy about bumping into me like we're inside a pinball machine with you as the pinball and me as a bumper. But I cut him some slack because I knew he was drunk as a skunk. The problem came in because he did it so much, that I started to make a face when he did it. He apologized, and I was hoping he got the hint.
No such luck.
He did it again, and again, and again, and again, and again. Each time apologizing, but when he realized my face meant it was getting near the last straw, he looks at me and says, "It's alright."
I stood there with my bare-ass, arms folded with my raised eyebrow to symbolize the darkest of my dark side was nearing the edge of arising and replied, "NO, it's not alright."
His return to me was, "You're not that cute."
The whole time this is happening I'm getting closer and closer to getting in the bathroom. So by this point I was next to go in. With that in mind, I stood there and didn't say a word in return, because a plan of retaliation was forming. Plus I am fully aware that since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, according to his beholding, I must have been that cute.
My plan of retaliation was simple, and it's one I'm famous for, even to my own mother. I waited until that bathroom door opened and responded, "It's not that I'm that cute. The problem is you're invading my space," then I closed the door behind me.
Once the door closed I could hear someone howling laughing. I don't know was it a coincidence and the person was laughing at someone else, or was it maybe the eyewitness to the incident, like maybe the guy behind my space invader. Well, if the latter was the case, I was justified, so I could less about how humiliated he might have been.
As I was thinking about this story, I remembered that the first "Space Invaders" took place at Splash Bar in NYC. And I'll be there doing some runway modeling in a fashion show for SUPERSTEIN on Friday. So I hope I don't see any of you invading someone's space or see someone invading yours.
With that in mind, I hope you'll come cheer me on for my runway modeling debut, while I cheer you on for not invading someone's space, therefore giving them the right to retaliate in the fashion I did with that drunken fool, OR WORSE.
I want you all to have fun, and be safe, therefore be courteous. Have a good one.
Splash is located at 50 W 17th Street (near 6th Ave. ) in NYC