Friday, September 28, 2007
And speaking of that bartender, if your read my post about my dancing at The Cock, I'm sure you are wondering what the deal was with that bartender. To be totally honest, when I first wrote that post, what I'm about to tell you had already transpired.
I knew from my 1st night dancing there that the bartender was into me. And I am not going to deny that I was into him as well. On my 1st night there, he even felt up a hard-on I got from one of the other go-go boys, and I returned the favor by feeling the crotch of his shorts. As the weeks progressed, we became more and more forward with our attraction to each other.
I came there one Saturday night, and it turned out he was working there that night too. He directly told me that he was attracted to me, but he wanted to keep it professional for now. Considering the environment, I saw no reason to putting off following our clear attraction to each other. So I told him about my doing porn as a way to make it clear that I know how to mix business with pleasure. He asked me what was I (as in top or bottom). I told him my movie position(as a complete bottom), instead of my off-camera position as a versatile bottom. His response was, "Well, I have a big dick, so you're gonna love it."
Since I'm not a size queen, that statement didn't make me want to have sex with him anymore than I already did, because my turn-on about a guy's cock is not because of how big it is on that hot guy, but because that hot guy has a cock to put in me no matter how big it is.
We eventually gave in on Labor Day weekend, I waited for him to do all the money counting and cleaning up after the bar closed. We went back to his place, and 4 weeks of dropping temptations at each other was finally going to become the utmost reality so I thought. We went back to his place, made out, then I got some news from him that didn't matter at first, but has come to mean quite a bit to me now.
He had took a hit of coke, so his getting a hard-on might take some work.
At first, our making out with me straddling him was intense , and finally after all that teasing and innuendos, once he entered me in that same position, the fucking started out just straight up primal. The key phrase here is "started out".
I've mention before that I have a tight hole, therefore you can safely assume that you need a rock hard hard-on to fuck me. And thanks to the coke, after a about 5 minutes - the primal fucking ended. Therefore, we spent the rest of the time we should have been fucking each other's brains out, trying to make him get that rock hard hard-on. Eventually, we gave up, and I was promised another try in the morning (that never happened by the way). He jerked off, and shot his load that way. I didn't come at all. I was trying to figure out why I couldn't come, and recently it hit me -
- Why am I trying to come by jerking off imagining I'm getting fucked by this guy when the guy is totally naked and right next to me in this bed?
And that's why I had to write this blog.
Now, I am no saint when it comes to drug use in my past, so I passed no judgement on him for it at the moment. But due to how the sex turned out, I decided to make some rules for myself regarding drug use for a long-term relationship, as well as a trick.
When I have sex with someone, I want to experience every bit of that person in a way that I remember. I don't want any pain of a big cock going in my ass lessened, having my asshole numbed so I can take it in, or having my brain dazed because I want to forget I'm tricking and not in a real relationship. So for me , there's NO COKE, NO CRYSTAL, NO POPPERS, NO "E", "K", "X", or whatever letter drug wimpy bitches use to numb themselves to the sex they're having.
I look at drug use as a way to escape from the sex you're having. When I trick with someone who uses poppers, I always wonder, "Is he trying to forget we're fucking?". Especially when the guy is a top, because the last I recall, I was told that poppers was supposed to make you relax so you can take in a big cock. So when I see a top taking poppers, I think to myself about him more than I do a bottom, "You, chicken shit!" With that in mind, there should be no doubt as to why the sex I have in a long-term relationship will be TOTALLY DRUG-FREE. Because the only daze I want to experience in all of my days of life, love, and sex with that special someone is to be brought on by his presence, and not a chemical substance.
From a trick, I may accept him telling me that he's done the letter drugs or poppers, because he's just that - a trick, no one special, no one to consider holding in high regard UNLESS he wants to embrace that sexual connection with me totally drug-free as I am.
It's funny how 1 little incident can open you mind up to some decisions you need to make for yourself. I never took much time to think about the drug use of my sexual partners until my disappointment over that night. And what makes it even more funny is that I didn't realize my disappointment right away. It grew as flashes of that night popped into my head. I went from a raised eyebrow, to a scowl, to a frown, an even more harsh frown, and then to the point when I had to say to myself, "WHAT THE FUCK - I WAITED FOR THAT DICK ALL THAT TIME, AND COKE FUCKS UP MY GETTIN' SOME THE RIGHT WAY! DAMN! DAMN!! DAAAAAMN!!!!"
Now, being as honest as I am, I will inform that bartender that I wrote this blog. He may not be happy about it at first. But in the long run, (if he chooses to) he may be glad to read this so he starts taking steps to make sure his sexual reputation isn't tarnished. Whatever his choice is, only time will tell. But it will most likely be told without me.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Well, I must confess - the curiosity and horniness got me last Thursday night, September 20th.
I was so worried about what kind of guys I was going to see when I walked through the door, but I made my way there anyway. The resaon I was worried was because although they claim their door policy is that all attendees must be fit, some parties don't hold up their policies. And since I never been to this one before, I was nervous about the unknown.
I walked in the door, and their were guys in line waiting to get in. And the 3 directly in front of me were fucking gorgeous with nice bodies. I dick was getting hard just by standing in line knowing that I was going to see these guys at least down to their underwear. Plus, if these guys are so hot, then I began to wonder how many hotties am I missing out on inside by waiting on this line to sign in. Once I got signed in, I went on the side with others to get undressed. The 2 guys who were in front of me on the line seemed to be a couple. An extremely handsome couple at that. The one in front of me was White, about my height and build, and blond. His boyfriend was White, tall, well built with light brown hair. And they were getting undress about a yard away from me. I was trying to hold my breath to stop my oncoming hard-on from growing out of my underwear. Because the more I saw of them, the more they became my target people to fool around with. Especially when I was checking my clothes in, because the tall one was standing in front of me wearing only a jockstrap. A jockstrap that showed off such a well-rounded, plump, juicy ass that I my hands were itching to grab, but I practiced restraint, and checked my clothes, then proceeded to where all the action was happening.
It was just 1 hour after the party started, and the action was going enough that as soon as I walked into the playground, I heard a guy moaning, and furniture moving because someone was fucking the hell out of him. I found out who it was, but didn't watch long. Instead, guys started coming over near where I was, passing by me, checking me out, and I did the same to most of them, because so many of them were HOT! I have never seen so many hot guys at a sex party before. To the extent that if I had my way, I would have been fucking and getting fucked by so many of them, that I would have to get myself certified as a nymphomaniac.
Once I stood still, guys started feeling me up, and I wasn't objecting to most of them. One hot older guy with an amazing body started giving me a blowjob. And while I'm getting my cock sucked, who shows up but the handsome couple I mentioned earlier. The tall one stood behind the blond, and egged him on to touch me. And I knew they both wanted to, because both of them were checking me out. I smiled at the blond, then we started touching each other, then moved in closer rubbing our head against each other, then we kissed. And while we kissed I felt the blond's ass. It was nice just like his boyfriend's. Speaking of his boyfriend, he moved to the other side of me, and I finally got a feel of the juiciness of his ass that I was longing to touch. So the next thing I knew I switching between kissing a guy on my left, then a guy on my right, and acknowledging down below how well my dick was getting sucked. This went on for a bit, and ended at just the right time, because between getting a great blowjob, and playing with both of the couple's dicks and asses, I knew if this kept up I was going to shoot my load in less than a half-hour after I arrived to the party.
I ran into the handsome couple a few times during the night. At one point, me and the blond teamed up at sucking his boyfriends nice hard cock. With the 2 of us licking that dick from both sides and kissing with it between us, I know we made that tall hunk of man felt like an adonis. Which he is.
I fooled around with some other guys, then I saw the handsome couple again. The blond layed down on his back to get ready for what I've been hoping to see those 2 guys do all night.
They were going to fuck.
When they started fucking, I started treating it like I was watching a porno from most of my desired angles. With my desired angles being everything I can't see of my top while I'm getting fucked. Being the ass-man that I am, I watched the the tall guy ass while he moved with a nice sexy rhythm sliding in and out of the blond. I got such a woody watching it from the back, then the side, then the back again. Then I decided to stay and watch from the side, and rub his ass, and feel his balls as they swelled from fucking his boyfriend. Then the blond reached for me, and I started playing with his nipples. He loved that. Then he pulled me in to kiss him. I didn't give too deep a kiss, because I figured sure it's a sex party, but his byfriend is right there. But as I was thinking I kissed him enough, the blond wanted me to kiss him more, and more, and more. His boyfriend at one point asked me if I wanted a turn. A part of me wanted to, but I let the part that was enjoying the show of them 2 take over, and told he how I was enjoying watching them. A little while later, he pulled out of the blond, and the blond put his hand around my rock-hard cock and said, "I want this before the night is out."
I smiled and went on to check out other spots just like everybody else. But not soon after, the tall guy asked me to fuck him. I gladly obliged knowing that it would give me a chance to repeatedly grope, and massage that nice round ass of his. I knew for sure he was more of a top than bottom when he asked me to go slow. Which for me meant that I was going to enter a nice tight hole. And I wasn't wrong as his asshole wrapped around my cock holding and warming my hard-on. The blond was right there as I fucked his boyfriend on his back, then doggy style, as I watched his ass bounce each time I banged into him. After giving the tall guy a good plowing, he went to clean himself off of the lube, just as I was about to. But before I went to the bathroom for that, I made out with the blond a little, and then we finally parted ways to wash our hands as well.
I came out of the bathroom wondering whether or not someone was finally going to give my ass a good pounding that it always hungers for. And then I got my answer.....
To be continued on my blog for Pitbull very soon.....
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Many of you may remember, Igor. Well, I haven't seen him in at the gym, walked past him on the street, and treated him just as I said he was - dead to me. Therefore, no pleasantries were exchanged - until Friday night when I saw him at Splash. Don't get your knickers in a twist, I did not initiate saying anything to him. This was all his doing. I was walking around the club, and saw him. I passed by him a few other times I walked around, and said nothing to him. And I was totally content with that. How our (THANK GOD) very brief exchange came about was because he was with someone, and it turned out they were heading downstairs just as I was heading to the bathroom down there. When I came out, he and whoever he was with were standing right outside the bathroom. Since like I said he's dead to me, I proceeded to walk right by him, because after all, he's a worthless existence to me. Therefore, he's not there. As I was walking away, he grabbed me by the wrist, and I looked back at him with a look that says, "Excuse me, who are you?" He came over to me and said, "I just wanted to kiss you and say 'Hello'", and he kissed me on the cheek.
I looked at him with an emotionless stare, and said, "Hello", and walked way.
I hate showing no emotion like that, because it means that you can't exist for me. And I would love to acknowledge every human being because I feel everyone should serve some good purpose to humanity by existing. But Igor is a Chelsea boy. The materialistic, narcissistic, negative gay stereotype that makes right-wing "Christians" think the world would be better off without gays. And it would be, if you get rid of gays with the Chelsea boy mentality AND those extremely right-wing "Christians". Because those are 2 negative extremes that definitely cause disharmony, because both are judgemental hypocritical emotional cripples who point at others, to avoid pointing at the fucked-up heart and mind they should see and fix in their soul's mirror. By the way, I put "Christian" in quotes because true Christians don't judge. They leave judging to God.
So if Splash is full of Chelsea boys, and I hate Chelsea boys so much, why was I there?
I've said it before, but I'll repeat it. I go thereto dance to the music. I used that dancing as a cardio-workout. I do not go there to socialize by any means because Splash has gone way down within my 5 years of being out in having patrons that are worth my socializing with. Plus, a friend of mine gave me a card that gets me in for free.
Now, to get back to the Igor, I was repulsed by him.
First off, my initial thought was, "What is so missing from your life that you had to say anything to me? You are there with someone, tend to him. If I say that you are dead to me, then I should be dead to you, UNLESS I made enough of an impact where I can't be dead to you, so if you see me anywhere near you, you can't contain yourself have to not acknowledge me". This is not me stroking my own ego, I'm just point out the facts.
Even worst is that what many don't realize about me is that when I say "I don't like you" or worst "You are dead to me", it means that you have an ugliness to your soul that I can't deal with very much, if at all. In addition, that ugliness of your soul makes its way to the outer you for me, and it's made of shit, diarrhea, vomit, maggots, and every disgusting thing you can think of. So you imagine, someone you feel being made of all those disgusting things touching your wrist, then kissing your cheek. You'll feel like he left a smudge of shit with a maggot (maybe even a few) wiggling in it on your wrist and/or on your cheek.
So with that in mind, that lack of emotion was my personal safeguard to make sure I don't ruin my future by doing something horrific for his intrusion into my personal space when he put his hand on me. Because I have an extremist personality. If you are good to me, then I am the closet thing to heaven on earth to you, but should you cross me, then I am something the devil should dust the ashes off his throne in hell, so he can pass it over to me.
I am fully aware that people change, and since I haven't talk to Igor in months, he might have.
I SERIOUSLY DOUBT THAT.
Remember me saying how hypocritical Chelsea boys and extreme right-wing "Christians" are? Well, about a month ago, I was searching for someone who lives in NY on DList.com. As I was going through the profiles, whose profile did I come across, but Igor's. Back when we were talking, Igor acted as if he was too good to be on DList.com, yet I discover he's been there within the past few months. And he also said back then that he hated Splash, and this was before its catering to Chelsea boys was as disgustingly rampant as it is now, yet I found him there Friday night.
But I however have grown.
Before I came out, I felt like the extreme right-wing "Christians", acting like I was above everybody else because God loved me. So when I first came out, since I was going against the religious grain, I lowered my thinking to saying that I am no better than anybody else. The reason I say "lowered" is because if I maintained my feeling I was beyond certain types of people, all of the emotional cripples like Igor would have never been allowed in my life for as long as I allowed them in it.
So maybe Igor, while being a Chelsea boy, proved to be useful after all. I now see that I am not the best thing out there, but there are certain types of people that you have to show that they are not good enough for you. For a reason of more depth, unlike a Chelsea boy or Republican, who turn they nose up at you for not having the right brand-name clothes or high-paying job. And that's where I am now with Igor. He is creature beneath me, because he doesn't have the depth of character that the rest of my friends have.
Now, please don't think that this has anything to do with my once trying to become emotionally involved with him, so this is some leftover remnants of that. Because it's not. I do have a couple of friends NOW who I dated at one time, just like I did Igor. So why are they still an important part of my life, but Igor is no more? The Chelsea boy mentality doing what it always does. It makes everyone you have and/or need in your life showing a truly worthwhile human existence leave your life, and all you have left is the illusion that you usually need your high-paying job to pay for.
I don't wish Igor any ill-will. I don't wish him anything. If he starts showing himself to be a truly worthwhile existence instead of to those who are just as empty as he is, I'm at a point where I don't care to know. Because the going-ons of someone who is dead to you (like Igor is to me) is of no concern to one alive and kicking such as myself.
Finally, this is not about all guys who live in Chelsea, I have a disdain for Chelsea BOYS. Chelsea MEN are welcome in my life as a friend or lover just like MEN who live anywhere else around the globe.
I thought I told this to you guys before. I guess I was mistaken. Maybe I'm confusing writing a comment here with my interview with Owen Keehnen, because I definitely told that story in that interview.My legal first name starts with "L", and The L XTreme is a nickname I gave myself because everytime I take on something new, an extreme measure usually follows to get it accomplished. For example, my losing my virginity by being part of a 5-man orgy. Plus, the L, X, and T of "L XTreme" make up the initials of the stage name I used in mainstream entertainment, and will go back to using when I decided to put the "Tré Xavier" persona to rest.
When I was deciding on a porn stage name, I knew "Xavier" was going to be some part of it, because I always liked the uniqueness of how it starts with the letter "X". So I made it my last name. Then for a first name I decided to break down the "Treme" of "XTreme", and made the name Tre, and to make it more unique and show a degree of education in language not to often displayed in porn, I added the accent. Hence Tré.
Now you know how all my names came about.
Friday, September 21, 2007
I just told him, "He's a friend of mine." And no more was spoke on the subject that day.
The situation in my bathroom was not remedied that day, so he had to come back. The next time my landlord showed up, he brought a plumber with him. While the plumber was looking at the situation, my landlord really started to take notice of everything in my bathroom. All the things that show how gay I am that you saw in my video from my previous post.
He turned to me and said, "I didn't know you were gay, man. You don't look it."
I said, "I seem to get that a lot lately. But I'm actually bi with a gay preference."
What I kept to myself was the question, Would he have rented that room to me had I wore my sexuality on my sleeve?" This is exactly why I feel that you should reveal your sexuality on a need-to-know basis. Hypothetically speaking, let's say he would have denied me the room had he known of my sexuality. If I wore my sexuality on my sleeve, then I would have had the added (1) finding another place, and (2) finding proof that I was discriminated against because of my sexual orientation. Instead, I presented myself as I always have - as a human being who lives, loves, and longs for a place to call home so they can truly express themselves. And that is exactly who my landlord saw, hence why he rented the room to me. And because that is all he needed to know (that plus my being willing and able to pay my rent), my sexuality was not an issue.
My landlord is still reeling over his discovery of me. He realized how many signs of my dominating sexuality graced my walls. Well, no matter how much it boggles his mind, as long as he handles a situation that needs to be handled, I don't care. And I believe as long as I treat the room properly, he doesn't care.
I like to think that I may have educated my landlord somehow. By putting a new face that broadens his perceptions of how gay act and look. And if I have, then that further proves my "need-to-know " basis rule is the right way to go.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
When I first moved into my new place, my eye for decorating did not make the bedroom a priority, as some might think. It made the bathroom a priority instead.
From the bathroom of the house I grew up in back in Brooklyn (before it's remodeling that forced my move), to the public bathrooms of restaurants and work places I've been to, and the least desirable of all - those in bars and clubs, I've always wondered what was the appeal of bathroom sex. How many gay men and straight women are so self-loathing that they allow some guy to fuck them in a piss-stenched public bathroom, when they are sober no less? I've been propositioned to be fucked in a bathroom a number of times, and only gave in twice. The 1st time was because the bathroom was clean and had not been touched since the club opened (from Part 1 of "The Asian Experience"), and the other was at The Cock during a DList party where I will admit that I drank enough to get a buzz that made me ignore the stench.
(Here's where I have to admit what alcohol does to me. For me, if I'm horny when I drink, then once I get buzzed (not drunk - just buzzed), I get really horny. I still maintain my standards of cuteness for a guy to fuck me or me fuck him, as well as my taking the proper precautions like condom use. It's just that buzz elevates my horniness to a level where unless the bathroom odor is pungent, I can ignore it and give up or fuck some hungry ass.)
With that stench being the deterrent of sex as it is for me, I set out to make my bathroom able to be described in 1 word - SEXY.
I wanted it to be that if a guy walked into my room horny for me, while getting a tour of the bedroom and private bathroom, he wouldn't care about which of the 2 rooms we fucked in. Just as long as we fucked. And as you saw from the video, my bathroom is decorated to get you motivated from the second you walk in, and keep you motivated during your stay in there. So the plan is that unless I'm in the bathroom with you, then you have to come back into the bedroom to get your sexual release.
This blog is going to pick up where the last site left off - and go even further.
What I mean by that is that I am going to start getting more into universal issues on my blogs. Not just sex, not just gay issues, but issues that effect us all as humans be you gay, straight, bi, Black, White, Asian, Indian, Latino, etc.
So I like you like what I've done with the place, and I hope the change doesn't scare you and you'll keep coming back.