Evolution of My Bottoming

Back in my porn days, during one of my too many visits to Lucas Entertainment, Michael Lucas asked me if I could cum while being fucked. I told him sometimes. Well, the fact is that was a lie... then.

It's quite rare that I lie, but one of the few times I do is when I'm giving answers about myself that are lies at the time, but will actually be my truth in the future. So the reason I tell the lie is not out of an intent to lie, but because I can foresee that future so clearly that I refuse to verbalize how it is untrue at that present time.

With that said, as much as I hate to lie and being lied to, what I know of Michael Lucas and my own history of dealing with him makes me feel no regret about that lie.

Especially since a recent trip to CumUnion made that lie about myself back then finally become my truth today.

My French playmate pounded away at me, and I realized that my dick was semi-hard. That is not unusual when I bottom. But I am never compelled to jerk off. I'm always about enjoying the dick, and letting that be where all of my sexual pleasure comes from. This time, I decided to go for it. As soon as I started jerking off, I could feel my physical orgasm coming. In fact, it grew in me slowly getting me to the point of ejaculation. And when it happened, I thought, "Oh my God, it's happening! HOW is this happening???".

I could feel the cum start oozing from my dick and onto the side of my finger. Then an even greater shock happened... I wasn't done.

I kept cumming. With the intensity of the orgasms growing, leading my cum load to grow as well. I surmise it was a cumload like the one from me playing with my SackJack.

However, even with that heightened intensity, I still wanted my playmate to keep his dick sliding back and forth in my ass tunnel. He did. And with not one single request to stop from me.


I have never been one who could masturbate while bottoming, then shoot a cumload. I could however do it while using an anal sex toy. With that, I always surmised that it was because, unlike with a human being, while using a sex toy, one doesn't have to focus on an actual human being's needs, desires, and in-the-flesh beauty for sexual fulfillment at that moment. But even without cumming from jerking off during sex, the sex still usually satisfied me. So I resolved myself to how the mental orgasm I spoke of in an article for Thotyssey is what I would always have with a guy.

I always wondered though that if and when I finally jerked off and came while bottoming if I was going to be one of those guys who once they orgasmed, would they end the sex. Thankfully, that was not the case.

This concerned me because as I have said before, if I'm getting good dick, I become an insatiable power bottom.

Keyword - INSATIABLE. Meaning keep going because their is no ending to this pleasure for me.

For I have always loved, loved, LOVED, LOVED  a hot guy's dick in my ass. Hating when the time comes that he has to take it out because life happens.

So I always feared a physical orgasm from my body's penile satisfaction while bottoming would make me go back on my word. Since the typical response to a male's penile orgasm includes an end to the sex. The mental orgasm I get knowing the pleasure my body is giving my sex partner allows the sex to continue.

We later sat cuddled together on the sofa upstairs. Just enjoying sharing a space with each other. I know it sounds romantic, even though it was a sex party. But that's the kind of energy I give off.

My sexual energy gives off my true view of sex - a physical and spiritual connection. Many gay males don't have the depth and/or maturity to handle that even at a sex party. If they're a top, their hard-ons are sparked by guys who they see as empty vessels to take their cock in. And if they're bottoms, they're holes widen for guys who they see as empty vessels who don't really care about in who they put their dicks. In any case, even if they talk to the person, such actions shows that they are drawn to someone who has less respect for their own humanity.

Anyway, we got so comfortable that neither one of us realized that we had both fallen asleep. We woke up because the party's host came upstairs to announce that the venue was preparing for Encore, the after-hours party held Fridays and Saturdays at Paddles. The host saw us on the sofa as he headed back downstairs. Teasing us by asking "When's the wedding?", because the last time my playmate was in New York, we met up at Paddles, and the host saw us cuddled together then as well. Like I said, I give off that kind of sexual energy, and a sweet few are deep and mature enough to embrace it.

Luckily, that nap re-energized us. We saw the after-hours crowd come in and be horny as fuck. We watched, but never got up from the sofa to get involved. I liked his naked skin against mine so I kept stroking his thigh, and occasionally kissing his chest as I leaned on it, and reached up to kiss his neck. The entire time, he kept stroking my shoulder and kissing on me.

Knowing he is inspired by watching people fuck, I started fondling his dick and balls, even before the after-hours crowd arrived. He was getting semi-erect before then. But once the after-hours crowd came in, he got harder, and harder.

What really sparked him into action was how while I was on my playmate's left, a Black guy was getting a blowjob to his right. The Black guy and my playmate started touching each other. The Black guy reached to include me, and I reciprocated by rubbing the smooth skin of his forearm, and reaching across my playmate so I could continue the travel of my hand to reach and massage the Black guy's shoulder.

This went on long enough that my playmate's dick got rock-hard and wanted to fuck my hole yet again. He was trying to include the Black guy by having the Black guy fuck him while he fucked me. You see, my playmate is actually quite skilled in a fuck-train. Hence the following tweet the following afternoon:

Thinking back to last night's @CumUnion NYC hosted by @MilkNYC, and how skilled my playmate is at being the center of a fuck-train.

He finds his top's fuck-rhythm, then copies it, so I (as his bottom) feel that same rhythm, but with his dick.

OMG!!! That Frenchman can fuck!!!!

— LeNair Xavier (@LeNairXavier) May 25, 2019

However, the Black guy never took my playmate up on the invitation. So it was just me and my playmate once again. That re-energizing nap led to my playmate thrusting into my ass for what must have been about an hour or more in various parts of Paddles. Eventually, he came inside me. I could feel the throbs of his cock as he let out his load. This was when I went back to a mental orgasm. Because at no point during that entire hour (or more) of bottoming did I stroke my cock. I was so turned on by his body in me and on me that I needed nothing else to stimulate me.

In any case, I'm thinking back on the pleasure of both Acts I and II. Learning I can now get off by both a mental and physical orgasm. This leads to new sexual information about my bottoming that I didn't know before.

So now, there is versatility within my versatility. 😉

Sexy Party Review - High + Tight: The 2nd Coming

Sex parties to celebrate Gay Pride! Not at all a new concept. And not at all an unwarranted one. After all, one of the aspects of Gay Pride to be free to have sex with whichever gender you want without persecution.

With that however, comes a responsibility to each other. Such as not behaving in a way to make your fellow man feel less than. Especially, over a natural occurrence such as skin color. Well, it seems like the most white and light Latinos at High + Tight: The 2nd Coming didn't get that memo.

At first, I thought it was just me. For everyone who is often approached and flirted with has an off night, and vice versa. But I felt an ugly energy in the air there. The ugly energy of sexual racism. An ugly energy I forgot about feeling at the last High + Tight party because it was such awhile back. So this night  caused a flashback.

However, since I didn't want to be right about my criticism, because that was then, and this is now, I used the one tactic that would prove me right, even though I wanted to be proven wrong... I looked at other Black males in the room to see how they were fairing.

I disappointingly discovered they were also being rejected. To be more exact, Blacks and Asians there were about 95% of the time either treated like they were invisible, or they were used as ego-boosting strokers and fluffers, then discarded. But seldom did anyone have sex with a Black guy there.

Such a case was this skinny white guy with glasses. I kept feeling myself being watched. I turned around to see a husky Black guy giving a blowjob to this skinny white guy. The feeling of being watched was because the white guy was looking at me while getting his blowjob. Besides my being bothered by how I was being gawked at while they're getting a blowjob from someone else, Something still felt off. So I went closer to him. Once I got closer. He tried acting like I wasn't there. So it was all a ploy. He had a Black guy on his dick, and another Black guy he felt he drew in. So he was using us 2 Black guys to stroke his ego. This was something I saw among the patrons at High + Tight: The 2nd Coming A LOT!

While it's an ugly ploy, it is an understandable one from these creatures. As I said in a recent comment to an article on NewNowNext, many gay white males are incredibly insecure. Not a surprise when you're put on a man-made pedestal, especially a racist one. You make every other color feel "less than" so they won't contend with you always being in fear of falling off that pedestal. However, the white guilt of life on that pedestal makes those controlling media make us Blacks into sexual superheroes. This doesn't excuse or lessen the ugliness of using someone solely to stroke their ego out of some racist jealousy. So let's leave Karma to deal with them on that.

This idea of using someone of a certain color, ethnicity, and/or body type only as a stroker or fluffer, but not as a sexual prospect is an ugly common practice among those endorsed as epitomes of beauty by gay media, porn, and nightlife. That means white, light-skinned Latinos, and gymrat blacks. With the commonality of which color does it most often being in that order. Seeing many white guys do this is over and over and over again at NY Jock Party/GBU events is why I stopped going there. So if High + Tight promoters that get their shit together, they will be the next party I suggest being on my Miss List.

In short, such behavior at High & Tight shows its name should be changed to "Racist & White". Therefore, instead of it having a "2nd coming", it should have stayed gone.


Well, I'm glad to say that the next night I went to CumUnion. And based on my experience there...

CumUnion picked up where High + Tight fucked up!!!

For early on, unlike at High & Tight, I saw guys of all sizes and colors getting action at CumUnion. Sure, there were some who were still assholes. In fact, I saw a few guys from that High + Tight party at this CumUnion party. But overall, this crowd showed itself to have someone for everyone. And in a city as diverse as New York City, such a crowd shows that a promoter is doing their job. They're not catering to their little clonish clique with a Pre-Civil Right Movement color approval rating as to what is sexy. An attitude that was all too evident at High + Tight. Hence why I wrote this Facebook post that Saturday:


With that said, the promoters of High + Tight have a lot of work to do. For starters, being open-minded enough to learn and know that in a mecca of diversity like NYC, and at a diversity-inviting space The Cock has grown into, one should create a  party that is all inclusive. Not limiting your crowd to being only the porn clones and colors you want to fuck. If you want that party, keep it in the close-mindedness of your home, or the lacking diversity of your hometown, but...

NOT IN A PARTY SPACE IN MY CITY!!! Thank you.

View this post on Instagram

#sexparties #nycgaynightlife #instagay #gaynightlife #gaysexparties #nycgay #gaybar #racisminthegaycommunity #sexualracism #racism #colorfetish

A post shared by LeNair Xavier (@lxtreme1971) on Oct 20, 2018 at 2:23pm PDT

My Sweet 16 at CumUnion

February 9, 2002.

That was the day I went out to Splash Bar (now gone) in NYC, walked through the door, and all my years of trying to figure out if I was straight, gay, or bi finally came to a close. A close that made me realize that I was bisexual, but a lot more gay than straight. A discovery that made me ready and willing to have sex with a male, which I did just a few hours later. And since those few hours later came to be after midnight, the date of me losing my virginity is February 10, 2002.

That makes it now 16 years to the day of me coming out to myself, and losing my virginity. My Sweet 16, if you will. And Sweet 16s always get a celebration. So how did I celebrate mine?

Everyone has their way to celebrate such moments. I chose to go to the sex party, CumUnion.

Quite fitting to those of you who know I lost my virginity during a 5-man orgy. And I found my 1st playmate for the night before I even entered the party. In fact, even before I paid my entry fee.

I walked down the stairs of Paddles where the party was held, and as soon as I got down the last flight of stairs, I saw an older guy with thinning blond hair on the line to get in with one person in front of him. The guy appeared to be around my age. He gave me a quick grin to acknowledge me. Then as he waited for the person in front of him to pay and go in, he took that waiting time to take a few more quick glances at me to check me out. I didn't let on that I saw this, but I did the same to him. As I noticed his good looks and took note of what I could gather of his build in his winter jacket, the louder my sexual precognitive voice screamed to me about us, "Y'all 2 are gonna fuck!"

After checking in my clothes, I saw that guy walking around for a good 15 minutes. He was still looking at me, so by this point I knew for sure his gazes at me earlier were not my imagination. Then I went on a trip to explore the backroom. It was pretty dark, which I hate. So I went to the part of the backroom where there was more light. That's where I found him again, and he found me.

As soon as he saw me, he took my cock and started stroking it. I grabbed his ass. It was nice and smooth. He then turned his back to me. Grabbing my dick for me to put it in. Earlier when my inner-voice told me that we'd fuck, it didn't make aware if I would be a top or bottom. As far as I'm concerned, it could have gone either way, but I was getting my answer at that point. Telling me that I'm going to be a top.

My cock went inside him, and his ass jiggled with each of my thrust. His ass felt great. We drew a small crowd from our moans and the slaps of my crotch against his booty. I didn't come, but he felt good enough to be a candidate to look for if I wanted to release my load.

I must admit the next guy I topped did get me a good bit closer. Maybe because I had some leftover climax-building tingle from the guy I topped before. If it wasn't for the voyeurs who were living vicariously through us to the point that they kept touching us in interfering places, I probably would have shot my load in his ass. One thing I was glad to see of myself was that this guy was also close to my age.

This back-to-back topping had me concerned that the usual would happen. That every white guy there was going to expect me to be a total top. Some black guys might be cool with this, but being that I was celebrating my coming out and losing my virginity, I also wanted to show off and celebrate my sexual growth. Primarily my becoming versatile. A great change from the total bottom I was 16 years ago. So this constant topping was getting me a little stressed. Then someone came along to pound out that stress.

This tall hottie with light brown hair, possibly red kept coming near me throughout the night. With his full lips and bubble butt, I immediately wanted him the top me the second I saw him. After seeing him fuck a couple of other guys, I thought he had no interest in me. So just as I was moving on, my peripheral vision saw him coming up behind me. I thought he was going to walk pass me. Instead, he stopped and stood behind me. He moved in closer to the point his dick grazed the crack of my bare ass, then his shaft got closer, and deeper in the crack. Growing larger with each motion forward. I reached back to touch his thigh, and in return, he put his arms around me and started kissing my neck. I allowed this for a quick bit, then turned around to face him, and squatted down to suck his dick.

His dick was semi-hard when I started sucking it. Then it grew in my mouth to become rock hard. With his moans of pleasure, I felt his cock throb in my mouth once. He picked me up and turned me back to having my back to him. He leaned me over the medical table in front of me. I quickly reached to my preparation pouch that was gartered on my left thigh to prepare my ass for his entry. I put spit lube on his cock, then he slid it into my ass. He started thrusting into me, and more and more he was hitting the spot. So much so that without even touching myself, my dick was getting hard and I could feel my pre-cum (or cum) edging closer and closer to the tip of my dick. Knowing at any moment, that edging jizz could soon become a drip with a long tail. And just before it got to that point, he came. I could feel every throb of his cock letting out that cum, and he didn't pull out of me until the very last throb and last drop were in me.

That tall hottie wasn't my only top for the night. So my celebrating gave me an equal number of bottoms and tops with a short, sexy Latino that arrived later in the night. He caught him eyeing me as soon as he walked in. Since you never know how those things will turn out, I didn't push to make anything happen. We wound up near each other by chance, and he came to me. We grazed each other, then immediately started making out. I led him over to the side in the back area and positioned myself on all fours. I lubed us both up and as soon as slid inside me slowly. But once inside, he pounded my ass cheeks so hard, it felt like I was being topped by someone twice his size.

At one point he asked, "Do you like that?"
I replied with an exasperated moan, "Fuck yeah!"

My dick was getting hard with each of his thrust. And once again, I felt his hungry cock milk my prostate. Making me pre-cum without touching myself. Or as with my previous top, possibly full-on cumming. Because at least for me, pre-cum just appears. There's no sensation telling me it's happening, unlike cum, which be its arrival to my cock, fast or slow, I feel it. Much like I did with both of these tops.

This makes me come to a realization about my sexual growth. About how as I get older, and more comfortable I am with my sexual body playing with others. I'm finding myself getting near cumming without touching myself. I take it to be that after all this time, the Sweet 16 of my coming out, my body is finally learning to let go when I bottom. What probably took it so long was the fact that my sole sexual interaction with my body up until the age of 30 was masturbation.

I'm sure this point of sexual growth could have happened sooner. I surmise that in addition to my anxiousness from my late coming out making it take this long, there's also how 3 years after my coming out, and losing some of the anxiousness, I unknowingly resurrected it by my getting into porn. So now, almost 8 1/2 years after retiring from the porn industry, my body is having the response to sex it should have naturally. For I never did, nor did I that night use drugs to ease myself to the pressures of being good at sex. Not even poppers.

So as with all of my sexual adventures, I have found the lesson I needed to learn. In this case, the epiphany about my own sexual development. So THANKS, CumUnion and Milk Chocolate NYC for a great celebration you had no idea you were giving me for my Sweet 16.

Fucking The What Out Of Me

I recently went to the Rainbow Playground up in Queens for a Tuesday night CumUnion party. As soon as I arrived, I found myself watch by a couple of guys. Both were good looking and had nice bodies. So why was I hesitant, and stand-offish? It's because I'm humble enough to not be arrogant about the compliments I get on my looks. So their pursuit of me was a bit overwhelming. Plus, it had been quite awhile since the last time I was at a sex party there. So I needed to feel the vibe, and find my comfort zone in this space uncommon to me.

Once I settled into that comfort zone, I found myself standing as the right angle in a right triangle between those 2 aforementioned guys. The place was so dark in that particular area that I decided one of these guys were going to get me. Top or bottom, someone was getting it. So it was decision-making time.

There was a short well-built Latino, and a light skin guy who was either Black or Latino. I chose the former. After all, I liked him from the moment I saw his silhouette. And as I walked towards him for a better view, I like him even more. Plus, I suspected he was more of what I needed. Time would only tell if I was right.

We started feeling each other up. We reached for each other's cock, and groped each other's asses. We did it so much that not I, or any passerby voyeur could tell who was going to be the top and who was going to be the bottom. I'm sure many assumed  the general straight perception we are brought up with. So because of the inches difference in height with me being taller that I would be the top.

Well, I'm glad I was wrong.

Her took me over to this mattress, and had me suck his cock. And if you didn't already know, I LOVE to suck dick.. Just don't make it the all of the sex we have. Make cocksucking foreplay. With that being the case, I was not disappointed. Because I knew my mouth was worshiping that dick looking a tad too big for his little frame was doing so to prepare it for worshiped by the tightness of my ass. My ass, which had been too long without a cock inside it for a satisfying amount of time.

Uh, remember that saying "Be care what you wish for". Ummm, I got what I wished for. We fucked missionary, doggy, side saddle, Y. I remember throwing my ass on his dick  in missionary, and even more so during doggy style. As the time of his in me seemed usually long for a sex party fuck, I became more verbal. At one point during doggy style, I buried my fists into the mattress and started thrusting my ass onto his cock while he was thrusting into me. Both parties moving like this doesn't usually work because they have to both be on the same exact beat and rhythm. And as it turned out, not only were we on the same rhythm. But we were actually following the beat of the electro-dance music playing.

Electro-dance music, which I hate. Because that music was why I had no idea how long he was inside me. It's because that fuckin' song never seemed to goddamn end! I just assumed we were at it for about 20 - 30 minutes, which like I said, is unusually long for a sex party fuck. That's the amount of time you have sex with a hook-up, or your significant other. Not at a sex party. And trust me, that is merely an observation. Not by any means is it a complaint.

After realizing we were at it for so long, I did the unthinkable...I stopped him. It wasn't because I was so tired of fucking. Because like I said, I needed to bottom, and 20 - 30 minutes at a sex party should definitely scratch that itch good. The oddness of it is because when I bottom, I'm a power bottom. And as good as his cock was, you would think I'd be writing this blog post with his dick still thrusting and throbbing in my ass. So what stopped me? It's because I had numerous moments during the sex where I felt something that maybe those of you readers who are more expert bottoms can enlighten me on.

During the sex, I had a few instances of feeling something in my dick ready to shoot out. I was not stroking my dick, because as usual, I was too busy either holding my position, or even more likely, enjoying touching on him. So I was repeatedly trying to figure out: was I about to piss? Or was this guy's cock so good that he was literally fucking the cum out of me? To the point that I could ejaculate hands-free?


Repeatedly asking myself this started to fuck with my rhythm, so I stopped the sex, and told him I needed a break. Afterwards, I went to the bathroom, and pissed - but not much. So my expert bottom readers, I'm asking you, what does your expert experience tell you what was going on with my body? Because if such an instance happens again, if it's a cumshot my dick is craving to let loose, I want to let it go, and fall into my own jizz - the aftermath of a hot fuck.

Muted Sex

I recently ventured to the sex party, CumUnion. I hadn't checked my clothes for 10 minutes before I found myself some action. That's not me bragging. It's just me stating my surprise at how fast it happened since I need to sense real chemistry before I allow something to happen for me. And I did.

I was walking past this structure that guys fool around on. I saw a crowd surrounding someone. This bothered me as usual because my personal credo at sex parties is that (since I'm usually the party starter) should I see a couple of guys getting it on, and I decide to watch, I'll only watch for only a minute to get inspired, then leave to see who I can make my own fun with. So that was my plan, but it didn't turn out that way.

The group as it turns out were staring at a guy standing upright positioning himself to top a guy laying on the structure. The top appeared to be a light-complexioned Latino. At first, all I saw was the back of him. He was tall, slim, and 2 beautifully round and lightly tan-lined cakes for butt cheeks. He must have seen me out of the corner of his eye. For that was when he turned around, and kept following me with his eyes. I knew what might happen if I got any closer. So I reached into my sock where I was keeping my condoms and lubes, and dressed up my dick. Once I got closer, what I thought might happen happened.

He looked at me and while he was inside the White guy laying on the structure, he reached for me, and put me behind him. He was letting me in his ass. So I was right to prepare myself. I put my cock inside his hole, and it felt so good. I started thrusting into him, which made a fuck-train as my little self made his taller self thrust into the even taller White guy. The Latino's ass felt amazing around my cock. Meanwhile, the ass felt great in my hands while I massaged it. All that plus the sight of his soft ass cheeks doing a slight squishing as I thrusted into him made my dick stay hard.

He soon stopped trying to top the other guy. Instead, he laid next to him on the structure for someone to top him. One guy seemed to try, but nothing came of it. Then the Latino's eyes fell on me again. He was waiting for me. Once I entered him in this position, it was me and him. There were still a lot of guys around us, and we started out kind of putting on a show. Then something in his reaction to me changed, and I followed his lead.

He pulled me in close to him. Having me bend over to kiss him while I was thrusting into him. Quite difficult considering by me standing up only 5'6", him laying down while being at least 6' tall, and I'm already balancing myself on the balls of my feet. Still, in spite of the difficulty, we fucked like it was only us there. After awhile, the crowd annoyed me by not finding their own fun, and I left him to get some air.

We later ran into each other again. This time, it was more intense. We kissed. He put his arms around me. Tightly. The next thing I knew, I initially thought I was getting a kiss like those in romance novels that made the heroine feel like she was floating on air. I already knew he could kiss, but this was like,...DAMN! But then reality set in where I realized that kiss didn't give me a euphoria that made me feel like I was floating. Instead, this guy really lifted me up.

Once I realized this, I wrapped my legs around him, and he took me over to this exam table in the large playroom. He laid me down and got on top of me. He started lifting my legs, and I finished it. Because he was giving me what I wanted from the moment I laid eyes on him and saw those round mounds of an ass of his. A chance to bottom missionary. And after topping him earlier, I knew he liked his ass massaged during sex, so he wasn't going to mind me groping those butt cheeks as a reward for finally giving me his dick.

And the sexual chemistry was so great between us, that all he had to do was enter me for the sex to be great. No special moves. Just be inside me.

As he thrusted away, I became the verbal, dirty talking, reassuring bottom, you can see in my porn movies. Not overacting. Just that living in the moment enjoying the place sex with someone you're truly compatible with takes you. By letting out the primal spontaneous thoughts entering you through your tool for sex, traveling to your brain, and then out through your mouth.

In the throes of this passion, I realized that he wasn't saying anything. During any tryst, he never said anything. He only moaned and groaned in pleasure. That's when it dawned on me that he might either be deaf, or a mute. And at a sex party of gay males, his great looks were his means to communicate. Only a few would have the depth to realize that he never spoke a word. It never stopped me from wanting him. This was just an observation I caught during the sex. So from there we proceeded.

As he laid on top of me, he was so tall that his chest was over my face. I was so into him that even to my surprise, I opened my mouth, and put it over his hairy chest. And while slowly closing my mouth, I licked his hairs. I liked it so much that I did it a few more other times while we laid there. And when his nipple was part of the chest inside my open mouth, I would lick and flick his nipple with my tongue while closing my mouth, and ending my mouth closure with a suck on his nipple. From this, he would groan and hug me closer to him again. It was a sexual chemistry where we both knew we were not making love. We were fucking. But we held each other like we were one another's salvation.

Sight of this chemistry once again brought on-lookers and guys wanting in on the action. But this time, besides feeling helpless being pinned under him (which as you can see I made the most of), I kind of enjoyed the added horniness.

Even with whoever joined us, however they joined us, he did as I said before. He held on to no other playmate of his like he held on to me. Knowing this made me feel dirty if I had held someone else that way. Luckily, no one else there that night lit that kind of sexual fire in me. So I got away with that guilt not being put to the test.

At one point, I got tired of the show and the crowd, and did as I had done a few times before. I left to follow my long standing rule of going to the bathroom to wash off after every play session, While the chemistry made this rule seem for naught, the reality was that he was still a stranger. A stranger I had such great chemistry with that I got so lost in the making out that while I stuck to the washing off rule of mine, I forgot to ask him his name. This is always my way to make sure he's treated as more than just a hole to put my cock in, or a stick to put in my ass or mouth.

Even though he slipped away before I could finally try to get his name, I surprisingly didn't feel bad about not getting it. For I had the  memory of his reaction to me. A reaction that showed me that I gave him something he wanted. Something I think every man wants, but refuses to admit to, because we're taught to not want it, especially in a sex party or hook-up situation. That something was in my energy....Letting him know that he was more than just a fuck.

This tale is by no means saying that I may have found my future husband at a Cum Union party. Far from it. This tale is simply pointing out how this sexual chemistry is new for me. For yes, I have experienced this level of sexual chemistry before. What's different is the fact that never has it been achieved with the absence of speech., until now. So it makes me wonder....

What is it about this guy's soul that made him the exception?