Reunion/Redemption Sex In The Men's Den

About 2 years ago, I wrote a post for my LXtreme Tumblr titled "Swiss Navy, Change Is Not Always Good". It was a tale about a sex party in which I experimented with Swiss Navy's Premium Anal lube with a playmate I've had the pleasure of having inside me before. The lube however, has clove flower extract, which is a natural ingredient, but causes numbing. This in turn led to me being denied me feeling the pleasure that time around. Not to mention that numbing turns off your body's natural alarm to tell you and your partner if you're overdoing it. Luckily, my playmate was skilled enough to not put me in that situation.

I had a number of guys tell me they were glad I wrote the post. Whoever handles Swiss Navy's Twitter account obviously felt differently. For one random day, I decided to go to their Twitter page...

All to discover that I was BLOCKED.

Oh well, they're not the best lube anyway. So there was no need to be devastated. What was devastating me was my not being able to redeem myself to my playmate from that encounter. For we saw each other at a couple of parties since that one. However, I was not prepared to bottom. So for 2 years thus far, since I strive to give the best of myself even in my casual sex encounters, in the back of my mind was a desire to have some reunion sex with him to redeem myself. I owed him for my pretending it was great sex. Especially when the fact that it wasn't great that time was not his fault in any way, shape, or form.

I recently went to a party called "Men's Den". It was only my 2nd time going. The 1st time I went, I was a bit of a wallflower. This time, I was sure me being a wallflower would not be the case. I just didn't know how soon after my arrival.

As soon as I walked in, I noticed a white guy who looked familiar, but before I could get settled in the room and investigate it, an older white guy approached me. I felt some sexual attraction to him, but his aggression of not letting me get settled in made the attraction short-lived. So I politely moved his hand, and stood on the side to settle in. Once I felt more settled, the guy I noticed as soon as I walked in came near me. His immediate look at me told me why he looked familiar. It was because he resembled my playmate from "Swiss Navy, Change Is Not Always Good". Then "resembled" turned to certainty once we greeted each other with "Hello".

We stroked each other's cock immediately after that "Hello", and started making out. So the sexual spark between us was definitely still there. But I didn't want to get my hopes up that night was going to be the night I could redeem myself.

At one point during our making out, I had my back to him, and he played with my nipples and cock. There was a dark-skinned black guy with this beautiful ass standing at a diagonal from me watching all of this. Me and my playmate both saw him, and moved closer to him. I laid down on my stomach on the edge of the bed with my playmate on top of me. The black guy's rock hard cock was right in my face, and I started sucking on him because he was a hottie on my To-Fuck list. Because that guy had an ass I couldn't decide if I wanted to put my cock in it, or grope it in missionary while he stuffed me with his big, tasty dick.

If my personal mission wasn't to redeem myself to my reunion playmate, I would have gladly made what was starting as a 1-on-1 into a 3-way. However, I'm not your typical gay male, jumping from one guy to another, even before I've even finished what I started with the one I'm already with. In short, even as a sex party tryst, I'm loyal. So since I was already in the midst of playing with my reunion playmate, I reluctantly stopped sucking on the black guy's cock and proceeded with my reunion playmate. As we continued, he grabbed a condom. That made me realize that my wish for the night was coming true. He was going to top me.

We got more on the bed. He laid me down on my back. I raised my legs, relaxing my hole to take him inside me. My hole twitched watching him put the condom on his hard dick, because it meant I was that much closer to having my ass filled with it, then his thrusts. So when the head of his dick touched the edge on my hole, it sent a tingle on my hole. A tingle that started spreading all over my body the more his cock went inside me.

While I could still hear chit-chat in the room, his tall frame hovering over me made me forget all about them, while also blocking my view of them. He was all I could focus on. Correction, he was all I wanted to focus on.

We later changed positions to where he was on his back, and I was riding his cock. Next to us was a cute light Latino getting his dick sucked. He looked at me, and tried to kiss me. Since I knew my reunion playmate didn't mind me playing with others in some capacity while with him, I let the guy kiss me. We both liked how the other kissed, and we kept going back for more. Our kissing got to be so much that I didn't want to part with it. Nor did I want to stop riding my reunion playmate's cock. So I had to re-position myself to do both comfortably.

I turned myself to ride my reunion playmate's dick at about a 45 degree angle, and stretched my left leg out. I moved my right leg in between my top's thighs, put myself back in the squatting position, and rode my top's cock while kissing the hottie still getting sucked. Yes, I showed myself to be quite flexible for 46 years of age.

I don't need to go any further with how the action went. For my goal was accomplished. He laid his pipe inside me, and because that Swiss Navy lube wasn't part of the picture, I felt every sweet sensation from his every thrust of, and every ride on his dick.

After my playing with my reunion playmate, we cuddled. During that cuddle, I admitted my being glad to have run into him. How I felt I needed to redeem myself, and telling him why I needed to redeem myself. So yes, I told him about the Swiss Navy Premium Anal lube numbing me to feel the pleasure his cock gives my hole. And due to his great sense of humor, he laughed about it. Especially since it gave me more reason to give him my ass.

Some of you are probably thinking, "He was just a fuck, not your boyfriend. So why all of the concern of wanting to 'redeem' yourself, or 'do right by him'?"

It's because, even if he's a tryst at a sex party, or a bar backroom, he is still a human being. And his actions towards me more so proved that.

For he never treated me like he wanted me just because I was Black. He never talked about me "loving his white dick", or him "loving my black booty". I simply had an ass he wanted to fuck, and at times, a dick he wanted to take in. No mention of color required. And when he topped me, it was with passion. Not aggression to emulate a modern-day rendition of a white man raping his black slave. Nor did he ask for aggression from me topping him where I was the black male using hole-tearing sex on him to avenge the abuse my forefathers suffered from slavery. That was not us. Even more deserving of a reward since all of our previous trysts were at a party that fetishizes black males in its marketing. Very contrary to this party whose marketing puts everyone of every color and ethnicity on the same level. So with the aforementioned negative actions having no place with us, if I screw up a fuck, he (and any man like him) deserves my desire to redeem myself. Making it my duty to give my booty when that opportunity for redemption presents itself.

And here was that opportunity, and I'm so glad that I honored it.

Sex Party of Appreciation Or Fetishizing

• At a naked party I recently attended, the only other black partygoer there besides myself quietly asked me, "Why doesn't anybody like me?"
• 
  
• As much as I didn't want to say it there, as I get older, I no longer care in waiting to tell a truth needed to be told. So I felt if anyone hears me, and has a problem with what I say, then they would expose themselves as either a guilty party, and/or an enabler of the problem.

So I unleashed the truth by telling him specifically what that problem is...Sexual racism, and how it is very much alive in 2017. Even though we have a great host that is welcoming to all colors and ethnicities, a number of guests are not that open-minded. Their actions show that if you don't fit into the color spectrum of white to light, then you get a polite "Hello" (if that), and nothing more.

In the midst of my saying this and more to further explain my point, I think that in my passion, my voice carried. For I heard one guy say to another in the next room, "It's just sex, You're overthinking it!"

Maybe it wasn't them kiki'ing over what I was saying. However, since that response is a very common racially insensitive white response to when I address the issue of sexual racism, it's only natural for me to feel it was very likely directed at what I was saying.

• 
  
• So in my suspicion and needed venting, I posted this on Facebook, then made a screenshot of it, to post on Instagram the next day:

• #sexualracism #racism #interracial #interracialsex #blackandwhite #racialinsensitivity #gaysexparties

  A post shared by LeNair Xavier (@lenairxavier) on Jul 11, 2017 at 8:13pm PDT

• After some likes on Instagram, I got this comment from @ciscofashionnyc, and followed by my reply:
• ciscofashionnycquestion i have is.. if you feel that way, why would you attend sex parties where you feel that’s the case 😕 go where you will appreciated ‼️ #Facts#NYC #KiKiWithCisco

lenairxavier@ciscofashionnyc Because the only way one can get away from it is if they're such a coward about the reality of racism that they attend an all-black party. And since I love and honor the diversity that comes from being born and raised in the USA, and a native New Yorker, I'll be damned if I'm going to let some racist trash heaps chase me out of a place. Especially when some there do appreciate me, furthering the intent of the welcoming inclusive host.

As long as that reply is, because it was Instagram, I didn't reply with as much voracity as I will now by adding:
Being black and allowing myself to be exiled to attend an all-black party makes me just as racist and cowardly as the whites whose actions exiled me there. Furthermore, what exactly is an indicator for Black males to "go where you will be appreciated"? Is that attending a party catering to "bruthas and their admirers"?

If so, then that's advising that I attend a party enabling more racism. For attending such a sex party, says I'm low enough on self-esteem to allow myself to be made a fetish of. Because the non-black "admirers" attending such parties are there for that purpose, even if they're too brainwashed with white/light entitlement to realize it. Plus, enough porn companies pull that crap, leading a plethora of ignorant whites and non-blacks to follow it. And for that reason, instead of sticking my dick in their ass to give them some "big black cock",  sticking my fist through their face and beyond as punishment for their ignorance sounds a lot more inviting. So to avoid going to that dark place, I don't attend events marketed in that fashion. 

After my initial response, I then got this question asked:

ciscofashionnycso why are you focused on the negative and not highlighting those who do appreciate you / instead of giving so much light to those with dark hearts ⁉️

My reply:

lenairxavier@ciscofashionnyc Because those with dark hearts do so because no one calls them on it.

The racism of gay media endorses and enables their dark hearts. And that damage will never get undone unless someone with the means to do so holds them accountable. Social media gives us all a means to do that. Plus, their behavior is rooted in narcissism. So they want attention "all about them"? Then they should have been careful with what their actions wished for.

Which brings to how those who appreciate me not being narcissists. So they don't need the public praise. And I have offered it to them. But many I talk to about giving it to them don't want it, even anonymously. It's because they know who they are, and the good they have within. And you can't help but respect them for that in the way they see fit.

Again, I let some explanations slide in my response. First, with hindsight being 20/20, I realize that answering my fellow black partygoer there with the risk of being overheard was me subconsciously giving the guilty their overdue calling out for their behavior. And it seemed to spark a reaction that paves the way for a discussion to many black males are guilted by whites into not having, with themselves or with whites. So at first I would have apologized for answering the question at that time. But now I see it was the right thing to do.

Second further explanation, if the person commenting kept in mind what he also sees of me on Facebook, he would have easily seen how I do give praise to those who appreciate me and my brown skin. Blog posts as recent as "When Pornstars & Their Lookalikes Fuck Alike" is a perfect example of that.

My playmate from that encounter was a white male who resembled white straight porn actor Mark Ashley. The reason I didn't highlight his appreciation of my darker skin to his pale skin was because it was just that - appreciation. Not fetishizing. Giving me such a level of peace that in telling the story, instead of focusing on the presumed absence of racism (sexual or otherwise), I was able to focus on the sexual bliss. For our attraction to each other was not me seeing him as an attractive white man, or (as far as I knew) him seeing me as an attractive black man. We saw each other simply as 2 attractive men. With skin color not being a necessary part of that beauty. When skin color is not part of the discussion, it makes for a beautiful tryst. And that's how it should be.

This is not to say that I'm against praising a man's skin color. Because I have been blessed with the gift of sight to see your skin color, and I maintain the wisdom to find both light and dark skin worth admiring. But sexual racism being what it is, we have to be mindful to not tell someone too much about that aspect of their beauty we are admiring. For too early of a reveal can lead to us giving ourselves to a racial fetishist, then calling them our lover, then life-partner. So one should let the overt admiration of their skin color be earned over time.

With all that said, what keeps me coming back to that party? It's who I mentioned before - the inclusive host. While a number of the white/light guys there will stick to their racist white gay media-endorsed mantra of "it's a preference", totally oblivious to their own racism, the obvious welcoming of the host is what keeps me coming back. For that welcome is true appreciation.

Now, if you go to a party, and the host is fake, and obviously unwelcoming, then that is when the beauty of your skin color is not appreciated. And that is when your patronage should cease. But as long as the host is doing their part, keep coming back.

NAKED & SEXY WILL Come in BLACK

I've been deliberating about this for awhile now, but I'm entering again.

Gay media has puked out foul messages about medium to dark men of color, and men 30+ for the longest. Saying we either never had naked sex appeal because of our color, or we lose our naked sex appeal because of our age. Well, someone needs to take a stand and flip the bird to that.

So for me, while winning would be nice, it's not about winning. It's about not sitting in the crowd. For I feel sitting in the crowd when your have the goods to take to the stage confirms those aforementioned foul messages. So I hope to see you there to cheer me on.

Naked Parties: Freedom & Openness Unveiled

I have either been to, or plan to attend a variety of naked parties. Some have been cocktail parties. Others were game nights. Some are naked drink-n-draws. And there are even some naked movie nights that I've been told about. 

Nudity is natural beauty of the human body. A natural beauty that can just be admired for ridding us of the pretentiousness clothes often bring to us. Or it can be a natural beauty that is considered sexy. Unfortunately, we Americans usually don't associate nudity with being calming or sexy. Instead, we are taught that with nudity... comes deplorable sex, and one cannot exist without the other. Hence why naked parties are seen as taboo here, while other parts of the globe are finding my need to write this post totally unnecessary. Well, let me tell you that is not at all the case.

A naked party might allow sex. However, that depends on the rules established by the host and/or the venue. And whatever their rules are, we must respect them. But sex does not have to be on the agenda when a naked party is being planned. The primary goal of a naked party is to give its guests a place to be free to show their true selves, because it's quite likely their time in clothes denies them of that so much.

Clothes are often a mask. An obstruction to seeing the natural beauty of the naked human form. I realize now why I have for a long time secretly hated the expression, "Clothes make the man". In fact, if you take a moment and think about it, most people who cherish that expression tend to be the most pretentious, shallow creatures you will ever know. For it speaks volumes of one's integrity when they feel of greater value by putting on the mask that is clothes, instead of being true to themselves and what their individual nature craves are. So speaking of cravings, let's explore what can happen when sex, or even simple courtship enters the mix at a naked party. 

Brace yourself! For in your being naked, you might find yourself attracted to someone you wouldn't normally be attracted to if you were clothed. Don't fear this. Instead, go with it. For the absence of clothes has left you to focus on the most important parts of a person. Parts you can't see with the naked eye, but instead feel with your heart, mind, and soul... Their intellect and personality. So nudity gives you more of the person's inner-being to focus on. A gift only the deepest of us will cherish, and the shallow will fear and dismiss. 

Now, of course we are talking mostly about parties where alcohol is in the mix. So depending on how you behave when alcohol hits your system, you will behave in 1 of 3 ways to an attraction. You'll either: 

• A) allow your inhibitions to lower. Let them undo what you've been taught by society and media in regards to what is the "right" color and/or body size to like. Let the new sensation of openness towards a different color or body size takeover. I can definitely attest to this. For I'm not normally attracted to husky guys. However, I have been to some naked parties, and not just made out with one or more husky guys, but had full-on sex with them. And wouldn't mind doing it again. All because of the focus on the inner-being that the nudity at that party made happen;  
• B) revert back to the rules you live by when you're clothed by interacting only with colors and body sizes deemed "socially acceptable" by your clothed clique. This is especially the case if people from that clothed clique are physically present, or too present in your mind. In which case comes the possibility of; 
• C) you'll have moments of see-sawing between (A) and (B).

One added plus that I have come to notice at naked parties is that there is less unwanted touching at a naked party than at a bar/club's underwear party. Unwanted touching has happened to me at a bar's underwear party whether I'm wearing close to nothing, and so is the person trying to molest me, or by some clothed asshole who takes the rapist mindset of saying "since you're damn near naked, you asked for it." Proving my aforementioned point of how too many Americans treat nudity as being forever co-joined to sex. At naked parties however, I have yet to have this problem. For the nudity brings an ease to everyone to not be on edge. We can lower our guards and be more ourselves than when we dress up in uniforms, suits, and costumes to go to work, or even a clothed friend/family gathering.

And I believe such a freedom is what we were put on this earth to experience. That's why I proudly confess that I have been writing this entire post NAKED WITH NO SHAME. And I hope it inspires you to go to a safe space, or create one where you can do the same.