Wednesday, April 26, 2017

It's All BUTT Love - Social Media Experiement

What does it take to do all of those Facebook Live, Instagram, and Snapchat videos? Considering how many of them show such mundane instances in one's day, one should wonder how much time they are wasting by watching them.

Case in point, I don't need to see you grocery shopping. Or walking to work. Or walking to your next gig... All with a stoic look on your face. IDGAF because...


And the answer is...


This has always ran through my mind, but I thought more deeply about this while making the following video I posted on Instagram:

Afterwards, I left everything but my smartphone and the Tenga Flip Zero. Did what I said I was going to do with my Flip Zero, then went to bed. When I woke up the following morning, I came up with the idea to give this narcissistic craze a whirl. But to make it not be totally pointless, I still made it contribute to my brand.

So I decided to dance naked. I  told you I contributed to my brand. With every decision from the song, how much of the song, as well as how much of my body would show was decided upon, set up a tad more, and shot in less than an hour.

My decision after this was if it took that much work to quickly put together something that might actually contribute to the part of my brand meant to showcase the sex appeal of males over 30, especially of color, then what the fuck is wrong with the social skills of guys who take the time to post videos that contribute absolutely nothing to their brand.

It's fuckin' ridiculous!!!

Well, this is the end result of that experiment. It has gotten 800+ views at the time of writing this post. So I hope my snap decision to do this experiment contributes to my brand of representing being black, sexy, fit, high energy, while over 40.

What do you think?

It's All Butt Love from LeNair Xavier on Vimeo.

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Webcam Sites & OhMiBod... Oh My God, Their Greed!

Have you ever heard of OhMiBod? You might have seem them on gay webcam sites. If so, there's very likely a problem you don't know about, but we need to address.

The problem is that some of these webcam models are using OhMiBod toys that are not made for anal use at all. Proof of them not being anal-safe is their lack of a base to work against the suction abilities of the rectum. So from here on out remember that all sex toys that are truly anal-safe have a base.

With that said, the webcam models are not using the toys in a fashion that could possibly make them anal-safe. And there is a way to make them anal-safe. The reason I won't tell it here is because I am not doing the work OhMiBod should have done, which is to pass that information on to webcam sites before striking up such a deal. They all allowed their greed to lead them along the irresponsible route, so let them pay the price. Because I am not picking up where they fucked up.

Especially after how back in January, I wrote the following tweet addressing this matter:
As you can see, I tagged OhMiBod along with 2 webcam sites.

and RandyBlueLive.

You can see why those 2 sites. For if you look closely, you can see the words "OhMiBod" on the screen advertising their use of OhMiBod's product. So would you believe I never got a tweeted response back from any of them?That says to me that either:
  1.  they don't deem me as a qualified source of information; 
  2. because of my level of notoriety, they don't see me as a threat publicly addressing this; 
  3. they are so arrogant about their collaboration and the money made at the risk of these models' health that they simply don't care, or;
  4. a combination of at least 2 of the aforementioned.
A clear sign of the greed involved is how OhMiBod's website does have a link that says Rear Gear. However, not a single OhMiBod toy you see those models using on the aforementioned cam sites is on that page.

Every OhMiBod toy used on webcam sites are the toys marketed for remote controlled stimulation of the clitoris and/or vagina. So these toys should not be used anally by a male, or a female.
If you recall the aforementioned tweet, I included a hashtag that says #AnalToysNeedABase". Now, feel free to enlarge and look closely at each of those screenshots. Do you see a base on either of those toys? I don't. And that is a recipe for disaster, Especially if someone who doesn't have a tight enough hole tries to do what these and other webcam models are doing.

And between guys doing poppers, fisting, and/or being size-queens without doing Kegels, there are a lot of buttholes out there that are loose. Loose enough to have these toys vibrate right up inside them, resulting in a trip to an emergency room.

Who knows. Maybe one of your favorite webcam models is already a casualty. For it he has ever suddenly disappeared from their live show, and came back no longer playing with such toys, now you know a possible reason why.

This deal between OhMiBod and these webcam sites was made in total disregard for the hashtag I do my sex education work by:


So in this matter, I hold OhMiBod way more responsible than the webcam sites or their models. For one, a sex toy company should know better. Meanwhile, webcam sites are like porn actors and most of the porn industry since it's an industry of, not fucking how you know is right, but instead fucking how you're told to. Sadly, in order to remain relevant, performers do the latter. They do what they are told. Putting their faith in directors and website owners who know nothing, and don't take the time to learn because they are too busy being leeches living vicariously through the desperation for validation by the performers. So in the end,... most in the porn industry have no fucking clue about mentally and physically healthy sex.

With that said, unless they have a degree or done thorough scientific reading about sex, most of these sites (especially gay sites) that use pornstars are teachers are doing a disservice to the community.

So what right do I have to be a teacher. It's not just the training I got from my present day job at The Pleasure Chest. It's because for years before working there, even before losing my virginity, I was using the photos in books about sex as masturbation material, but also reading the surrounding literature.

That knowledge has led me to be able to say all of this. Which needs to be said because the love of this idea of using OhMiBod toys not meant to be used anally has gotten to the point that there are compilation videos on tube sites of guys using these toys. I even found a video of Bel Ami pornstar Kevin Warhol using one in a cam show.

Now, based on all that I have said, you might watch these videos and get off on them so much that you shoot a load of jizz so plenty and poorly landing that it shorts out your laptop. But try using those toys yourself in that fashion. If you are one of those who might possibly have a loose hole for the aforementioned reasons, your outcome might not be so lucky.

Even with my extreme sexual curiosity and self-proclaimed tight hole, I refuse to chance trying these toys. Hence why I'm recommending the same for you.

So this post is not about slamming a toy company, or webcam sites. It's about me sticking to my mission before, during, and more so after porn:
Putting you in the know about things that can enhance, maintain, or damper your sexual ecstasy.

Using OhMiBod toys in this fashion has too high a risk of being a damper. And we can't have that.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

From Porn to Poet, ...Who Would've Predicted?

April 1, 2005...

That was the day of my gay porn debut. Performing a solo show for the now extinct website, Back when most live online sex shows had a host. Unlike today, with the models doing all of the work themselves.

I got the gig by answering an ad in the (also extinct) NYC gay nightlife magazine, HX. With the plans of using it, and every porn gig after to become a known pornstar. So I could do for others questioning their sexual orientation what gay porn had done for me. That being ---showing me gay/bi males comfortable with their sexuality. So I thought.

After learning most pornstars are anything but comfortable with their sexuality, my blogging, which I initially began to promote my porn persona of "Tré Xavier", transformed into a means to wake up the gay community to how gay porn is not the influence and inspiration to our sexual behavior that many emulate, but by no means should.

Unfortunately, the Borg-like racist white domination of the gay porn industry and gay media gave me few opportunities to be heard. Hence why some of my blogged messages to the community to this day have been slow to grow throughout the community. OR have been stolen by those gay media sites never responding to my inquiries about handling the subject matter. In which case, the story is handed off to either white authors, or a different author of color. In either case, handling the issue with kid gloves, which underrates its severity. And in the case of a white author, them having no firsthand experience of what we people of color must endure too often leads to an article that preaches to the choir. Instead of enlightening those whites whose racism want their new knowledge coming from a white source.

Between trying to fight porn directors' and performers' racism, selfishness, prostitution, being gay-for-pay bitches in denial, and an "every-man-for-himself" mindset, I finally owned how much "fun" the gay porn industry was NOT. So on September 23, 2009, I announced my retirement from the industry.

After announcing that retirement, I had a state of saying to myself, "What now?"

Along with that "what now?", I also had to figure out how to silence the ghosts. The ghosts of the gay porn industry that haunted me because I had all of this knowledge about it that could put a stop to many misconceptions, but they only lived in my head... At least for the moment. 

Then one day, a poem popped in my head. I used to write poetry all the time as a kid, which then morphed into songwriting when I started having aspirations to be a singer. So that poem was me going back to some good basics.

After that poem however, came another, then another, then another, then another. All about stories of what I've witnessed in the gay porn industry. Now, I had to get the stories out there. So I approached Men of All Colors Together/NY about doing a poetry reading, and Q & A, simply titled "The Industry". And they said, YES.

The host of one of the sex parties I attended at the time promoted the event in his emails. The clothes check guy at the last party I attended before the event said, "Something good is going to come out of this, you watch."

While my outside voice said to him, "From your mouth to God's ears", my inside voice thought, "This guy is off his fuckin' rocker! Ain't shit going to come out of this, but a one-night-only release of a few behind-the-scenes porn stories."

Well, I'm man enough to admit when I have been proven wrong. For not only did it get gay porn blog coverage due to a live impromptu debate between myself and token black guy of the time, Diesel Washington. More importantly was me waking up the next morning to an email from someone who was in attendance at my reading.

By reading the email, this person acknowledged his connection to The Leslie-Lohman Museum of Gay & Lesbian Art, which resulted in the nude modeling I did for their drawing studio. As well as his being on the board for The Rainbow Book Fair. Hence why I have been in the lineup for their Poetry Salon since the year of my poetry reading, 2011.

And I am pleased to announce that I have been invited back again.

So April 29th. I hope to see you there.

Who would have predicted that 12 years from the first time I stepped in front of a porn industry's camera that I would be where I am now?

Someone slowly but surely gaining notoriety as an erotic poet, erotic storyteller, sex toy reviewer,  and sex blogger. In short, to some, a sexpert.

Well, I never saw it coming. But I'm also not mad about it. For it has saved me from an outcome of most porn actors, both living and dead. My exhibitionist spirit still lives, and my creative talents are not stalemated.

Just goes to show how all it takes is one right person to have faith in you.

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