Backstory & What If: "Tales of a Male Straight Porn Actor's Husband"

In case you didn't know or have forgotten, I occasionally write sex articles for the sex toy company Kiiroo. A few months ago however, they asked me for an erotic short story. The one I gave was actually a true story. Recently though, I pitched to them a story that was actual fiction.

The idea was born out of 2 facts I've confessed to when porn is part of my masturbation:

1) I watch more straight porn than gay porn, and;
2) While I'm totally versatile in action, in my fantasies however, I'm more of a bottom.

Keeping those 2 facts in mind, then you are right to conclude that the pleasure one assumes that male is giving that female's vagina is pleasure I'm imagining him giving to my ass.

My masturbation fantasy is usually nothing more than him still being an actor in straight porn. So he has sex will a lot of women, and while I'm the only guy he wants, he is not in a relationship with me. In fact, whether he even has an actual relationship is never part of the fantasy. So since he's having sex with me and those porn starlets, he was definitely bisexual. It's just a matter of what kind of bisexual was he. More gay than straight, more straight than gay, or right down the middle.

In any case, when I decided to build a story around that fantasy, I felt a deeper involvement between the two was more interesting. At first conscious thought, it seemed unbelievable. However, the more I thought about the idea, the more I realized how the fantasy of me, a predominately gay bisexual having sex with a male who does straight porn as expression within a relationship...

This could possibly be someone's reality.

Like I said, for this short story, I made the couple have an actual relationship. Then I upped the ante some more. For the initial story idea was to make my character and the pornstar (whose name is "Zen Massif") boyfriends that had been together for a few years. Then came the last minute idea to up the ante even more so by making us married. It was a means to indicate how while being an unwed couple for a few years shows that you have been through a lot of discovery with each other, getting to the point of marriage means the bond is even stronger. You need such a strong bond if you're going to be involved with someone who is not only in the sex industry as a porn actor, but with whom you have a non-monogamous relationship.

With that in mind, I'm sure many are wondering why would anyone even fantasize, much less actually be so deeply involved with a porn actor. It is because sex between 2 (or more) people truly attracted to each other is a beautiful sight. Especially when the motivation bringing the together are pure. Such as being void of racism, or sexualizing of daddy issues, or glamorizing incest. When absent of such motivations, sex alone or in an orgy has a beauty more than words can describe.  Even if you know one or more of those people are romantically involved with someone else. With that in mind, the thought of watching my significant other being sexual attracted to someone else, pleasuring them that once (twice or occasionally), but always coming home to/with me to pleasure me many times over is a massive turn-on. Also, having that outside person be the means by which you can see the beauty of your partner's sexual motions that you can't see when he is with you, or that you might miss if you have strategically placed mirrors to see yourselves.

Keeping all that in mind, I titled it "Tales of a Male Straight Porn Actor's Husband".

I wrote this story to be more of a preface for more tales to follow. Tales that could easily be adapted to become a porn film. So what if this story was to be adapted to become an actual porn film? With my ownership and pride in this fantasy, the only way a porn adaption would get my blessing is if I played the storyteller. So yes, I would actually come out of my retirement from doing studio-based porn to play that role. And hence why before the story was published, I made my own banner. Even though I knew Kiiroo would make one up themselves.

Now, if I would be playing the storyteller, then who would play my porn stud husband, "Zen Massif"?

Whoever I would approve of, with the exception of being in love with me, the guy playing Zen Massif would have to be a great deal of a real-life version of him. Firstly, he would definitely have to be sexually attracted to me. Because I refuse to fake the chemistry. Also, the guy would have to have shown his bisexual pride by being an out and proud bisexual. He cannot treat his straight or gay side like each side is on a half of a flip-switch. With that side it flips on being triggered only by the weight of dollars placed on it. Instead both his straight and gay side are triggered by the weight of the his prospective sex partner's sexual spirit.

The only way the porn actor can mentally and sexually differ from Zen is how his bisexuality does not have to be predominately gay like Zen and myself. He could be a predominately straight bisexual. Having just enough gay and a lust for me to fuck my ass into oblivion for all the world to see---at least twice.

The "at least twice" is in reference to my doing the aforementioned continuation of the story. That continuation depends on either how well the story is received, or just for my own entertainment. In any case, each part would be a sexual escapade featuring Zen and/or my character either together, or with other people that would also be one scene in a porn flick. And at least 2 of those detailed stories would have Zen with his husband.

Whatever the case, it would not be the overkill of bodies in most bisexual porn movies, especially of today. For most bisexual porn movies today are MMF 3-way after MMF 3-way. You hardly ever see  nowadays how and if the guy behaves differently when he is alone with a male compared to when he is alone with a female. The last time I recall seeing a total 1-on-1 scene within a bisexual porn was in the movie "Semper Bi", and that movie was made over a decade ago. With that in mind, I must sadly surmise that all the MMF scenes in one movie is probably a tactic used to prevent you from seeing when the male porn performer has monetized his sexual orientation. An act that is a total contradiction to the character of Zen that anyone playing him should not do. 

So will those stories happen? Only time will tell. In any case, I do hope you read the erotic story, enjoy it, then let me know if you want some follow-up stories.

Nathaniel, R-U A Rapist?

For the first time in awhile, I went to the NYC gay bar, The Eagle for their Jockstrap Happy Hour. At this event, proceeds go to a charity by way of a $5 cover as most patrons strip down to usually a jockstrap or some other kind of underwear and enjoy cocktails, beers, conversation, and flirtation. Most guests from my experience partake of these things well and act respectfully towards one another's personal space. However, there is often someone with such a rabid level of social ineptitude that they can ruin it for someone.

Well, on this night, the name of the person with the rabid social ineptitude was Nathaniel.

I paid my cover and entered the bar. In less than a minute, this tall, slim black male came up to me introducing himself by saying "Hi, I'm Nathaniel". Even though I don't know my degree of celebrity, knowing that I have some at all still makes me wonder if such an abrupt introduction is either a social media follower or someone seeing me as an Average Joe.

He immediately offered to buy me a drink, and I refused. I shouldn't have to explain why I refused. However, since using one another is such a commonality in gay society endorsed by its media, nightlife, and porn, An explanation for my refusal is necessary before I continue.

When a guy offers to buy you a drink, he wants something. If you don't want conversation with him, don't accept the drink. If you don't want to kiss him, don't accept the drink. If you don't want to end up having sex with him,... DON'T ACCEPT THE FUCKING DRINK!!! So in practicing what I preach, I refused. Because your sex appeal in that person's eye (and/or their desperation) is what got you the offer. And I'm not going to let my sex appeal get me something from someone who I know wants something in return, but I have no intent of giving what they want to them. That's what justifies Karma's action when she takes your sex appeal away by way of your subconscious guilt making you age poorly.

Anyway, after my refusal, he persisted in trying to talk to me. I said I just got here, and I wanted to settle myself first. He seemed to get the hint. He told me to enjoy my evening, then walked away. As I was waiting, I was so in a rush to get in the bar that I forgot I needed to use the restroom. So I went. When I returned, I went to the opposite end of the bar. Once there, Nathaniel came back, and started talking to me again. And it wasn't like he was approaching me out of drunkenness that made him forget we met just a few minutes earlier. He was well aware that we spoke before because this time, he did not introduce himself.

In response to whatever he said, there were many things I said that made it clear that if I was to entertain his company at any point, that moment was not the time. Such as how a few times when he said that it seems like I had a wall up, one time I responded by saying, "I do. Because I don't know. It comes down the more I get to know you." In whatever various ways I said that, I told him the truth each time. Another time in his rambling I responded by telling him, "When I first walk into a space, I like to assess the room. Get a feel for it. And to focus and get an honest assessment, I like to do that alone. Hence why I often go places solo."

He still kept talking to me. In fact, he even furthered his closing into my personal space. For most of the time, he was leaning against the bar with his left hand. Leaning into me at a less than 45 degree angle, which was inciting my porn-induced PTSD to do something drastic.

With hindsight being 20/20, I think one of the things that saved him from a heinous reaction was the fact that my porn-induced PTSD is incited more by being actually touched, which even in his close proximity to my body, he never did.

As he kept getting such responses from me defending my justified personal space, he became unjustly defensive in both his verbal responses, and his body language. Such as how he went from the less than 45 degree lean to taking his other hand and putting it on the other side of me, closing me in.

The whole encounter had me so annoyed that I only remember bit and pieces of what he said. At that moment all I recall is that he was asking me how old I was. I told him that I would tell him if he would stop trying to corner me. Me having to negotiate for my personal space to avoid responding with a physically violent reaction made his existence more insignificant with every letter of every word he spoke and every millimeter of his movement. For he was trying to close me in to possess my time and space.

Now, as a Black man in the racist clusterfuck that is the American gay community, I am more than a little aware of how disregarded a black male can feel. Especially when we have been passed aside for white/light-complexioned guys by someone claiming to like, or even love us. In every scenario from a backroom tryst to a long-term relationship. However, the accumulation of such hits does not justify Nathaniel (or any other black male) imposing upon someone's personal space. Especially not in that fashion. And especially not the personal space of a stranger --- what I was to Nathaniel.

With all this said, I must publicly ask Nathaniel this...

Nathaniel, are you a rapist? Have you called yourself having a conversation with a person giving only a few inches, instead of at least a foot between that person and yourself? Have you gotten defensive when they ask you to back up? Even if they ask with the utmost politeness? Have you gotten defensive when their polite words show they would rather be left alone?

I must ask these questions because based on your behavior on the night of April 19, 2019, you have all the makings of a rapist. Repetitious in executing power moves upon the personal space of a person you have no claim to. So if you don't fix this behavior now, I expect to hear news of you being accused, arrested, indicted, tried, and convicted in due time.

I actually hope you have done no such extent of harm to someone. But if you have, I hope this article inspires them to come forward.

L.D.(T.) R.B. - Substance-Free Anal Sex

I am not a stereotypical gay/bi-guy by any means. I am both very anti-drug and anti-poppers. Especially during displays of my degree of gay, like anal sex. I take great pride in being against drug/substance use during sex for they help in defining myself as someone with true pride in their gayness. Regardless as to whether those drugs/substances are Molly, cocaine, meth, recreational weed, or even poppers, or booze. 

For I enjoy gay sex with a clear mind. Be it a dick in my ass, or my dick in someone’s ass. With my brain able to take in and clearly remember every stroke, thrust, throb of a cock, twitch of an ass tunnel, and/or squeeze of a sphincter, be it pleasing or uncomfortable. Making me able to easily weed out who deserves another chance to play, and who to banish away. 

With that strong position, a couple of months ago, I made a 20-minute video explaining further the root of my anti-popper stance. However, I realize that I never told you the exact details as to what I am doing to practice what I preach. What has my late coming out, and being drug/substance-free before that and since taught me so that I can scoff at the thought of huffing on poppers to ease anal play. So I think it’s best that I tell you now.

Starting with telling you to remember the initials: L., D., R., B., and sometimes T, in between the D & R.  

L is for LUBE - Unlike the vagina, the anus and rectum are not self-lubricating. So lube is a must. Since water-based lubes are easily absorbed into the body, a silicone-based lube is the best option for anal play. However, many are concerned about their sheets and other materials around becoming stained by silicone lubes during their anal play session. If such is the case, you can choose a water-based lube. Just make sure it is thick enough to give a cushion, and that thickness has some longevity. You might also want to consider a hybrid lube, which is a combination of water-based and silicone lube. With the silicone being what gives such a lube its longevity, and the water-based part being what makes it less staining.

D is for DESIRE - There are 2 things you need to desire to aid in your having substance-free anal sex. And if these 2 things are not in play, there is no amount of lube that is going to make anal sex any easier.  

One thing to desire is to desire having anal sex. And the desire has to be you wanting anal sex. Not you wanting to please someone who wants anal sex. Thereby making the next desire be to desire the person you’re having anal sex with. If you’ve had anal sex enough times before, you can go right to the R of this list. But I you’re new to anal sex or just encountered a new sex partner, then you need to acknowledge the T and why it’s in parenthesis. 

(T) is for (TRUST) - For reasons I stated in “A Sexually Geeky’s Why I ♥ Sex”, if you’re new to anal play or having anal play with a new partner, TRUST IS A MUST. You have to trust your partner. Primarily trust that your sex partner will be patient with you as you grow in patience with yourself. In the case of those who are not new to anal sex, but are having it with a new partner, you need that trust even more so. For the newness of your sex partner can cause anxiety that might make even a pro bottom clench their bottom. Any lack of that trust in yourself and/or your partner will lead to a grab for the poppers, or any other substance one uses to relax their sphincter. The problem is many of such substances are illegal and harmful, instantly and over time. Plus, with such substances in your system, you’ll lie to yourself. Never truly mentally or emotionally getting to the next step, which is... 

R is for RELAX – The closer you come to wanting anal sex so bad that your hole is twitching because it wants to grab your partner’s penis or desired sex toy, the more you can become relaxed. For now, your body is on a mission to let that person or toy inside to give you sexual satisfaction. If you are not new to anal sex, then this should happen right after desire. However, if you’re an anal sex novice, then that relaxation will come, not immediately after desire, but after trust in yourself, then your partner. 

B is for BREATHE – While you are finally being entered, as a reward to yourself for successfully following through all the aforementioned steps, take a deep breath as your sigh of relief. Relieved that sexual satisfaction is coming from that penis or sex toy inside you.

The reason I also suggest taking that breath while being entered is because it actually helps create suction to the penis or toy going inside you. This seemingly tedious task for you is in reality the start of the great sensations you will give your male-bodied partner. Sensations that will only intensify as he thrusts inside you, or you ride on him.

Why? Because with that deep breath following all the aforementioned steps, you are now properly prepared for substance-free anal sex. 

I am well aware that my position is not the most touted in popular gay circles. Nor with sex shops trying to make money off of the too common substance abuse habits gay males pass on to straight friends expressing interest in anal sex. Well, I have no interest in complying to either. For following the lead of those gay circles and such sex shops makes us less than what we should be during sex. You see, because of the misinformation, jaded past, and corporate greed that drive them, they refuse to tell you this fact...

Your sex partner should be your high and if needed, anal sex facilitator.

In fact, your sex partner should be your only needed and requested high. Plus, reliance upon substances for anal sex that are any degree harmful further justifies the argument of homophobes and the sexually narrow-minded that anal sex is dangerous, therefore unnatural.

So isn’t it time we start exhibiting and praising sexual behavior with anal sex that proves them wrong? I think so.