Saturday, August 18, 2018

L.D.(T.) R.B. - Substance-Free Anal Sex

I am not a stereotypical gay/bi-guy by any means. I am both very anti-drug and anti-poppers. Especially during displays of my degree of gay, like anal sex. I take great pride in being against drug/substance use during sex for they help in defining myself as someone with true pride in their gayness. Regardless as to whether those drugs/substances are Molly, cocaine, meth, recreational weed, or even poppers, or booze. 

For I enjoy gay sex with a clear mind. Be it a dick in my ass, or my dick in someone’s ass. With my brain able to take in and clearly remember every stroke, thrust, throb of a cock, twitch of an ass tunnel, and/or squeeze of a sphincter, be it pleasing or uncomfortable. Making me able to easily weed out who deserves another chance to play, and who to banish away. 

With that strong position, a couple of months ago, I made a 20-minute video explaining further the root of my anti-popper stance. However, I realize that I never told you the exact details as to what I am doing to practice what I preach. What has my late coming out, and being drug/substance-free before that and since taught me so that I can scoff at the thought of huffing on poppers to ease anal play. So I think it’s best that I tell you now.
Starting with telling you to remember the initials: L., D., R., B., and sometimes T, in between the D & R.  

L is for LUBE - Unlike the vagina, the anus and rectum are not self-lubricating. So lube is a must. Since water-based lubes are easily absorbed into the body, a silicone-based lube is the best option for anal play. However, many are concerned about their sheets and other materials around becoming stained by silicone lubes during their anal play session. If such is the case, you can choose a water-based lube. Just make sure it is thick enough to give a cushion, and that thickness has some longevity. You might also want to consider a hybrid lube, which is a combination of water-based and silicone lube. With the silicone being what gives such a lube its longevity, and the water-based part being what makes it less staining.

D is for DESIRE - There are 2 things you need to desire to aid in your having substance-free anal sex. And if these 2 things are not in play, there is no amount of lube that is going to make anal sex any easier.  

One thing to desire is to desire having anal sex. And the desire has to be you wanting anal sex. Not you wanting to please someone who wants anal sex. Thereby making the next desire be to desire the person you’re having anal sex with. If you’ve had anal sex enough times before, you can go right to the R of this list. But I you’re new to anal sex or just encountered a new sex partner, then you need to acknowledge the T and why it’s in parenthesis. 

(T) is for (TRUST) - For reasons I stated in A Sexually Geeky’s Why I ♥ Sex, if you’re new to anal play or having anal play with a new partner, TRUST IS A MUST. You have to trust your partner. Primarily trust that your sex partner will be patient with you as you grow in patience with yourself. In the case of those who are not new to anal sex, but are having it with a new partner, you need that trust even more so. For the newness of your sex partner can cause anxiety that might make even a pro bottom clench their bottom. Any lack of that trust in yourself and/or your partner will lead to a grab for the poppers, or any other substance one uses to relax their sphincter. The problem is many of such substances are illegal and harmful, instantly and over time. Plus, with such substances in your system, you’ll lie to yourself. Never truly mentally or emotionally getting to the next step, which is... 

R is for RELAX – The closer you come to wanting anal sex so bad that your hole is twitching because it wants to grab your partner’s penis or desired sex toy, the more you can become relaxed. For now, your body is on a mission to let that person or toy inside to give you sexual satisfaction. If you are not new to anal sex, then this should happen right after desire. However, if you’re an anal sex novice, then that relaxation will come, not immediately after desire, but after trust in yourself, then your partner. 

B is for BREATHE – While you are finally being entered, as a reward to yourself for successfully following through all the aforementioned steps, take a deep breath as your sigh of relief. Relieved that sexual satisfaction is coming from that penis or sex toy inside you.

The reason I also suggest taking that breath while being entered is because it actually helps create suction to the penis or toy going inside you. This seemingly tedious task for you is in reality the start of the great sensations you will give your male-bodied partner. Sensations that will only intensify as he thrusts inside you, or you ride on him.

Why? Because with that deep breath following all the aforementioned steps, you are now properly prepared for substance-free anal sex. 

I am well aware that my position is not the most touted in popular gay circles. Nor with sex shops trying to make money off of the too common substance abuse habits gay males pass on to straight friends expressing interest in anal sex. Well, I have no interest in complying to either. For following the lead of those gay circles and such sex shops makes us less than what we should be during sex. You see, because of the misinformation, jaded past, and corporate greed that drive them, they refuse to tell you this fact...

Your sex partner should be your high and if needed, anal sex facilitator.

In fact, your sex partner should be your only needed and requested high. Plus, reliance upon substances for anal sex that are any degree harmful further justifies the argument of homophobes and the sexually narrow-minded that anal sex is dangerous, therefore unnatural.

So isn’t it time we start exhibiting and praising sexual behavior with anal sex that proves them wrong? I think so.

Sunday, August 12, 2018

A Sexually Geeky's Why I ♥ Sex

To mouth....
To pussy ….
Or ass!

One of the ways I describe myself in the pic below is “Sexually geeky”. But what exactly makes me sexually geeky?

I believe it’s my realizing how the simple aforementioned body parts are beautiful, and do amazing things on their own. However, when you combine 2 of these body parts together, the things they can do brought together are not just amazing. They actually become phenomenal. 

Perhaps you never thought about it. So let's look at these body parts one by one, and see their initial place and purpose, and what their pleasuring purpose evolves into. 

A dick is amazing on its own. To me, even when flaccid it's beautiful. Perhaps that beauty comes from knowing how when it's flaccid, all it's good for is to pee and fondle. However, all it takes is someone to trigger a male's sexual arousal (perhaps by fondling), and that small, soft appendage suddenly grows multiple times longer and wider, losing that softness. So it's newly formed hardness can point at a target for penetration. 

The fascination continues when you think of how the back and forth of penetration, or being ridden by a person (or sex toy) causes a build up of sensations and semen. Making the male orgasm comparable to the eruption of a volcano, but with the sexiness of consent, it's the best volcano to experience. 

And whether the sex is for procreation or just an intimate connection to another human being, knowing that the semen, this seemingly harmless milky white substance that springs from a male's penis that initially seems to only be a sign that a male orgasm has transpired, proves itself to be much more when you remember how semen carry sperm, which create life. So it's stimulating to realize that male has (because of you) expelled the very thing that helps to create every human being you see. 

So these instances makes a dick show that initially, it's just interesting. However, when it meets its target, its abilities along with that of its target, makes it grow in physical size as well as interest.

And you have to admit that to be true regardless of your sexual orientation. For it’s why many lesbians or predominately lesbian bisexuals have stayed in heterosexual relationships, honestly claiming to be sexually satisfied, despite realizing their homo- or bisexuality. 

Ever since you came out of your mother's womb, the mouth has been used as a means to eat, then express yourself by speaking, and held contorting the lips a certain way to convey emotion. At no point thinking that at some point, using it to kiss would make it become part of your activity after you learn about "the birds and the bees". And an even greater shock to learn that as you become more advanced in your sex play that your mouth could become a powerful tool in foreplay with your playmate/lover/spouse. Such a powerful tool that a blowjob (when given right) feels so incredibly good that males of various cultures have for centuries tried to make themselves entitled to it simply because they have a dick. 

Or in some cases, using the mouth to perform fellatio, cunnilingus, or rimming is used in place of vaginal or anal sex for one reason or another.

With that in mind, perhaps this is why so many can be bad at oral sex, or even bad at just kissing. These people have never allowed themselves to evolve in realizing that a mouth is good for more than just speaking, tasting, and eating food. They need to learn you can taste and eat off your sex partner as well. Thereby making the "need" for flavored lubes become obsolete. For you won't need or want anything to change the sexy flavor of your sex partner's skin. 
What a vagina is called going back and forth depending on its purpose at that the moment is already fascinating. That fascination grows even more once you describe those abilities it has in that particular purpose. 

Such as how when a female gets her period, and when she is giving birth, it is called its scientific name, vagina. However, when a woman becomes horny, or is in the midst of curing her horniness by masturbation and/or sex, that scientific term "vagina" morphs into numerous words that some consider to be dirty and scandalous. Inciting shame in the sexually repressed. Meanwhile, a word-perv like myself can easily get turned on by such words, and with no shame about it. And the most common of those words is "pussy". 

After addressing that fascinating fact, let's talk about what a sweet pussy can do. It was likely thought of as a pussy when the male put his penis in it, stretching to accommodate its entry. Then again a vagina, where it became the canal in a female's body by which a microscopic seed of life expelled from that dick was put in, making it not have to stayed stretched. Then usually 9 months later, it stretches wide enough to introduce to the world that microscopic seed that has over those 9 months formed into a human being. Then it goes back to being soft flesh – becoming a pussy when it welcomes being filled again by a finger, penis or sex toy for pleasure. And when a penis is allowed to enter, the pussy embraces it. Making it become a means to give pleasure to a male, as well as herself. Thereby making the physical and spiritual connection that is sex. 

And again, this is what one must admit regardless of orientation. It’s why many gay or predominately gay bisexuals stay in heterosexual relationships. Because like a dick, a pussy can feel so good that you procrastinate in acknowledging your true self. The most common way that you can deny it is if you’ve never tried it.  

Like most children, I was unaware of the many ways sex can happen. Even though I experienced an orgasm by jerking off, I thought in some strange way, gay males were able to achieve orgasm by being dick to dick. Once I got older and realized gay male sex was primarily anal sex, I then had an inner-conflict. 

For my Christian upbringing was saying "Ewwww". Meanwhile, my gayness needing to be released was curious to know how was this possible. How was it possible for a body orifice that I was for almost 2 decades taught was "exit only", and is only entered as a form of rape, is actually entered willingly by some? And not only that. But it is entered willingly because pleasure can be given from that entry? 

Ever since I came to hear of this possibility, anal pleasure has been something I craved to experience. It went from playing around my hole with my finger. To actually entering it with my finger. More and more, it made me want a cock inside it. 

Now, that I know of that pleasure, while like the typical male, my cock craves penetrating an adult human orifice, but when I bottom,… I’m an insatiable power bottom.
I’m fascinated by how once a skilled guy enters my ass, I’m able to withstand every thrust until he’s unable to enter me again. Even if it means his dick being inside me for over an hour. And I marvel at seeing the slightest hunger for anal penetration in others. 

I probably would have never come to these realizations about sex had it not been for me overcoming the sexual repression imposed upon me. Making this another testament to the saying that “every dark cloud has a silver lining”. And part of that silver lining is seeing sex and all of its parts as beautiful. Not ugly. Not shameful. So all of my writings and videos on the matter of sex is to pass those realizations, and joy from them on to you.

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