Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Typical American Gay Male - His Own Worst Enemy: Ageism

There is a serious problem of age discrimination within American gay culture. While I can't say much about females, but I can say plenty about gay males. And in regards to whether or not ageism exist amongst American gay males, there's not much good I can say.

Media has always been meant to reflect the view of the society from which it originates, whether that society be based on a race, country, religion, sexual orientation, etc. While some media fall short of properly representing its people, gay media all too often represents the mindset of its people well. The problem is that my saying that is by no means a compliment.

Many of these media companies are run by older gay men. Therefore what does the barrage of twinks and 20-somethings as models say about American gay males? It says:

1) as American gay men get older, they hate ourselves. They feel their quality as a marketable entity is diminished because as they age, they have lost their beauty inside and out.
The problem here is that while this message in particular is sent out by gay men almost globally (e.g. Bel Ami, Eurocreme), my concern is Americans. With that in mind, if Americans were less corporate-minded and more physically active, we wouldn't lose that beauty inside and out. The corporate world is propagated as the way to go, but in actuality, it eats away at you robbing males of their virility. And the corporate world also inicites a slavery mentality to where if you're in a a high chain of command, you don't do anything phyiscally for yourself. You don't go to get up from your chair to get your lunch, you don't go up a flight of stairs for something you need. You sit there and become a lard-ass and let the secretary or office clerk do it for you. With that being the case, then you've adopted an ugly mentality inside that has made its way to the outside of you;
2) older American gay males are stupid. Older American gay males aren't bright enough to be spokesmen for the products and messages meant for the gay community. Age has worn down their brain cells.
The problem here is that it the American gay male population's present state poses the question as to whether or not older gay men are really that stupid? While I am not one who really believes statistics, let's say for arguments sake, IF the statistics are true, then with the number of new STD infections and drug addictions happening to younger people as opposed to older I think the message Amercian gay media sends out most definitely needs to be thought out again, because a good number of older gay males may actually know what they're talking about, OR they are at an age that they've learned from their mistakes. And wisdom most definitely enhances outer beauty, along with inner;
3) older American gay males take advantage of their younger counterparts. As I stated in a previous post, 20-somethings have an eagerness to please their superiors who are usually older.
The problem here is that because of that eagerness to please, too many of these older superiors ask of these 20-somethings things that they wouldn't ask of someone their own age, because they know that older person has been around long enough to know that beyond a shadow of a doubt that they should say "NO". This in turn might makes the younger person looks back in his older years, and become so bitter about how he was taken advantage of that (like many abusers) he'll start taking advantage of the crop of 20-somethings when he himself is in his 30's and beyond.

This all shows that just like the saying goes, "youth is wasted on the young". The problem of ageism starts from the older American gay male himself running from the fact he's getting older. It should not be a big deal for an older man to be in a gay porno, yet when there is, it suddenly becomes a "daddy" scene. Why is that? I'm 37 now, and while gay media says my age is that of a "daddy", I look nothing of the kind. In fact, since I started in the adult industry at 34 years old, most of my scene partners have been in the early to mid 20's with no mention of a "daddy" theme. And it's not so much because "black don't crack" as much as it is living my life advoiding the stresses from wrong messages 1, 2 and 3.

What makes this crisis of ageism amongst American gay males continue is that there are not enough older American gay males counter attacking it such as by the way that I'm doing now with this blog. OR those who were once young models themselves admiring their aging and celebrating it by bringing well-aged intelligent men to the forefront for our viewing and intellectual pleasure.

Let me confess to the fact that I was once a perpetrator of ageism. What humbled me was a rejection from Sharpshooter Studios who said I look great but I'm just a little bit out of their age limit, yet see them use a model who may be younger but I believe looks around my actual age. Or is this just a case of the racism that I must get into in the final part of this series?

Anyway, since then, I've opened myself up enough to come in contact with more older American guys who look so great for their age that I was inspire to write this blog.

Yes, even at my age. Although it's sad as to how that shouldn't be much of a shock when you consider how many gay media companies are run by older gay men who shun their fellow older gay men, instead of highlighting those men (gay, straight, or bi) that have taken good enough care of themselves to maintain their beauty as they age. Or in the case of 1994 Playgirl Centerfold, Richard Lima, better their beauty as they age.

Back when these pics 1st came out, I recall buying a Playgirl Magazine, and beating my meat to the sight of him just a little bit. But when I saw these pics of him 14 years later ----

-----I felt I should have held off on busting the nut that accompanied me screaming his name. Because back in '94 he was a pretty boy, but now Richard Lima is ALL MAN. Just like I discovered Colton Ford to be when I met him last year at Hustlaball. I feel both of these guys are better suited to represent male beauty than most of these young models used today in gay media, be it print ads, commericals, or adult entertainment. If Colton Ford was to ever come back to do porn, after I saw him perform at Bana in a speedo, it would be a must to pass on the message to him that says, "(Not my beauty, but) My booty awaits."

We alll should know the expression "age before beauty". Well some of us have followed a mentally and/or physically healthy enough lifestyle where we have kept our beauty while we age, and I feel that the gay community needs to acknowledge that and demand to see it reflected in gay media, be it magazines, televiosn, print ads, or adult entertainment. With older gay men being at the helm of many media outlets, to not show that is a clear display of another message I forgot to mention earlier - jealousy. Jealousy of the older gay men who have maintained themselves well.

Now, I ask you, do you really want to be that obvious? Obvious to the fact that by exhibiting the behavior of ageism that we don't deserve the rights that some gays are fighting for, but straight people take for granted, because the LGBT community has to further prove their humanity.
So I leave you with this question, how can we further prove our worth and humanity when we can't show we show humanity to those within our community over a simple NATURAL occurence like age?

American gay males, young and old - it's your call.


  1. While I do not dispute many of the facts you state. I was expecting that you would challenge the European definition of beauty imposed on all of us. It seems you do not question that definition of beauty. You just praise older man that can live up to that definition of beauty and blame/judge those that do not comply with the body-fascist model imposed on all of us.

    I still think what you are writing is important and congrats on your blog!

  2. If you mean that the European definition of beauty being a fit body, then the reason I don't challenge it is because I am 100% behind it. The Europeans I have come in contact with lead a more active lifestyle in the older years. And the older Americans that have caught my eye have been those that adopt European principles for male aging, not American.
    The only time that I've seen a seemingly unfit European is when they adopt American fitness principles in older years, like Arnold Schwarzenegger, which is basically to do nothing at all.

  3. There's only one thing I can say, and it's a simple fact of life: there is nothing, NOTHING, hotter, more orgasm-inducing, than an alluring, sexy older man. Tre is one such specimen, and I've known a few others... It's an intoxicating, delicious, highly desirable delicacy, and unlike the abundance of 18 year olds, it's rare. Kids are a dime a dozen, a bit like McDonalds - easy to come by. Hot MEN are rare. NYC is blessed.

  4. I'm with ka-os. 40 is the new hottie.


I HIGHLY respect those willing to stand behind their comments with a name. So if you use "Anonymous" on a viewpoint that challenges mine, IT WILL BE DELETED. For your cowardice to not show yourself makes your viewpoint and you irrelevant.

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