Like You - See All Gays As Sexual Equals

There have been enough instances in which my medium to dark-complexioned self will see a white or light-skinned guy check me out, look like they want to talk to me, or just fuck and be my top, but never make a move. However, they have no problem approaching a white or light-skinned guy to become their top, or approach a medium to dark-skinned guy to be his bottom.

Another instance I have seen often is a white or light-skinned guy who claims to be completely versatile or a versatile bottom, and while he might seem to be open to playing with guys of various colors/ethnicities, his urge to top never seems to surface with medium to dark-complexioned males. Instead, his urge to top only happens with white and light-skinned males.

These are definite displays within sexual racism.

Sexual racism is not just saying, "I'm not into <insert color/ethnicity here>". It is also limiting a person of a certain color/ethnicity to being only one specific sexual role. Such as the porn-induced idea that if a medium to dark-complexioned black male is to have sex with a white or light-complexioned person, that medium to dark-skinned guy can only be a top.

Also, the idea says that black males within that hue must be aggressive in their topping. Aggressive in a way that to the sane eye borders on sexual brutality and rape. A style that is a sexualization of white guilt demanding punishment. So if it's in porn today, then that means the porn producers and directors are problematic creatures in the mix. And the performers regardless of color are also problematic. Prove every bit as to why I think of most porn actors as a past poem states, "Fuckable Body,..Unlovable Soul".

I know some are quick to say that there are more blacks bottoming in porn now. Yes, there are, but not many. Nor do they have a variety of looks like their white counterparts. And before I continue, take note:

The few porn scenes that you see of blacks bottoming would have never come to be if I didn't speak up about it during my time doing studio-based porn under the name "Tré Xavier", as I pointed out in an article on my "Calling Out Ass Holes" Tumblr . In short, there would be no them if there was no me. 

So I started needed conversations then, and I am starting needed conversations now.

While I did write that article and see the slight changes, it hasn't changed the overwhelming racist sexual expectations of many white and light-skinned males enough. Like most forms of racism, it is so indoctrinated into all of our minds that most people of every color don't realize they're exemplifying it. That includes the black males playing the roles of the overly aggressive.

In most possible sexual encounters, I am still expected to be a top to a white/light person. Never mind the fact that my bubbly ass makes me much more desirable as a bottom than my proportionate dick does as a top.

Still, white/light-complexioned guys, (even when they are over 6 feet tall) come to my 5'6" 145 -160 lbs. frame having me being their top be their initial ass-umption. Meanwhile, a white/light-skinned male with the same height and weight and front and back endowments is either negotiated with about their position, or immediately assumed to be a bottom.

If you have problems with the white guy being assumed to be a bottom, then you are missing the point. For the point is at least there is multiple choice of how a white/light-skinned guy is approached. I, as a medium to dark-skinned Black man, don't get that same multiple choice. In any case, it's a clear sign that there is some racial profiling about medium to dark-skinned black males with their sexuality, and it needs to be addressed.

Of course that needed talk won't happen when the ignorance of many white/light-skinned guys is so obvious around us. It is shown in them doing studio-based porn. It is shown in the porn they do to show on Twitter, Chaturbate, OnlyFans, and the like. And it is shown by those not doing any kind of porn at all.

If you think I'm wrong, and are ready to give the prostituting stereotypical gay porn actor a pass by saying that he was paid to do that, then explain his OnlyFans, JustForFans, 4MyFans, etc.! If a white/light-skinned guy does studio-based porn as well as porn on those fansites, you practically never see him top a medium to dark-complexioned male on those fansites. What is so telling of how brainwashed and racist they actually are is the fact that the purpose of those sites for them is to do things without the puppet strings of a studio-based porn producer and director. Yet, there they are. Still under the puppet strings. Being another white/light whimpy, wincing bottom over the black dick that has sold out to yet another white person's desire to fetishize them.

With that said, just because you're a white guy doing 1 or 2 scenes for NoirMale, your run back to your all-white world still exposes you are a racist. OR because you have signed up to be the latest token black male topping white boys for CockyBoys, you're still a sellout and part of this problem. Neither scenario (or one like it) exonerates any guy of any color as to how much they are another lump of feces floating around in a septic tank. Thereby further exasperating this problematic imagery.

And yes, as much as the gay porn industry tries to deny accountability for how we gay males see each other sexually, I still beg to differ and cite porn as both a teacher and indicator. Based on the facts I am presenting here, disgustingly more so, teacher.  

This is why when we speak of "not being into" a person of a certain ethnicity or color, we must ask ourselves if our feeling that way is naturally us as an individual, or if something outside of our nature influenced that definition of beauty. White entitlement and the spoiled brat mindset it enables causes many white males to refuse to do that pause and look within. Hence why they are the quickest to call their racism "preference".

And colorism being a branch of racism that makes the gay community like Pre-Civil Rights Movement America entices many light-skinned people of color to play along for acceptance.

Now, black males are by no means exonerated from blame in this problem. After all, the black porn actors (past and present) in such interracial scenes, and the black gays who heed to the call of such white/light males to play what I call the "gorilla nigger" are willing participants. I am proud to say that I am not one of those black guys. I have probably lost most of the white/light guys I've dated because of it. If so, their loss will one day be a real man's gain.

Hence the need for this poem. We are about to head into the year 2021. So by now we should all be seen more as equals in all ways, and that includes sexually. Yet we are not, and that need to stop TODAY.

Top Me, Bottom - an erotic poem

While I think this poem is self-explanatory, its lyrics might have gone over some readers' head.

The gist of it is that if a man says he's a bottom, no matter how much you might want his cock in your ass, don't pressure him about it. Much like I said in "How To Make A Versatile Bottom Top", let him know only once about your interest to have him top you, then leave the topic alone. Let circumstance bring him around if such is in the cards for him. And even if that never happens, take solace in the fact that you have masturbation to get off to the thought if it happening.

Evolution of My Topping

After losing my virginity in 2002, I was a total bottom for about 2 years. Always knowing that eventually I would become versatile, but for the moment, I was a total bottom, and okay with that. That is why I always tells customers in the sex shop to be patient with themselves for whatever their goal may be.

Once I started topping, I always said that after 2 years of being a total bottom that in my versatility I am a much better bottom than top. No matter what percentage of being a top or bottom I was, even when my versatility reached 50/50, and a good number of playmates praising me as a top, I still felt my skill set made me a much better bottom.

I recently had 2 encounters with which I saw myself becoming more confident in my topping skills. An evolution, if you will. The signs of this evolution might not seem obvious at first, but I will explain how so, and why it is for the better later.

The first incident happened at The Cock. I was behind a curtain, and this guy was sucking me off. Right next to me was a short hottie that I've played with before. As he watched me get my cock sucked, he laid on his back on the bench while playing with his hole. The blowjob was pretty good, but watching that short hottie play with his hole made me rock hard, and needing to be engulfed by not a mouth, but the 98.6 degree and rising warmth of a hungry bottom's ass tunnel.

The past times I topped the short hottie, he assumed the position to be topped doggy style. Being the ass-man that I am, that made it easier to get turned on, start fucking him, and keep fucking him. This time however, seeing him in position to bottom in missionary made me want him right away. My craving wasn't to look at his ass while inside it. No, it was solely about being inside him. Seeing the beauty of his ass was no longer a crutch to get me hard and keep me hard. Just the thought of being inside him in any position was all I needed.

Before I'm called a hypocrite regarding Rule #5 in my rules of blowjob etiquette, I initially was planning to give my dick to the guy giving me a blowjob. But he was sucking me for so long that he seemed like sucking my cock was all he wanted to do. A man that is going to be worth my interest knows to do as I do - stop sucking to check on his playmate to see if he eventually wants that cock made hard by a cocksucker so it can go in his cocksucker's ass, like it should be. This guy never checked in with me for that. He was sucking me for all eternity and I was getting bored by it. As I mentioned before, he sucked it pretty good, but he never offered his asshole. My playmate from my past laying on the bench next to me did offer his asshole.

I went in my pouch and got out some lube to put on my cock. I then slid my cock inside him and started pounding with so much passion. A degree of a passion I've done while topping doggy style, but never in missionary. The more he moaned in pleasure. The more I touched his bare skin not covered by his harness and jockstrap. The more I wrapped my arms around him to go deeper inside him. It all made me not want to stop. But I did stop, so I wouldn't come. Because I have a feeling that if I did come, I would not have stopped. I would have probably shot a raw load in his ass, and kept pumping so I could try and shoot another. Fucking him so long that the lights would come on in the bar because of it nearing closing time.

The other instance happened at a Milk Chocolate NYC party.

I had already topped from behind while standing this sexy guy who was around my height. The entire time I thrusted into the soft cheeks of his ass, as much as I loved looking down to see those cheeks squeeze with my every inward thrust, I wanted him on his back. So I could look in his eyes right below those sexy eyebrows.

Later on in the night, he and a guy that he and I both had bottomed for earlier were sitting on a sofa in the space. Another guy put his legs up and started fucking the hottie. This put the thought back in my head of how much I wanted to look in his eyes while my cock is inside that amazing ass. Then the other guy stopped. So my chance opened up. And when this hottie saw my hard cock eager to get in him again, he opened his ass up along with that chance.

I got on my knees and put my hard cock inside him, with his legs leaning on my shoulders. He lit up the deeper I went in. And when I started pumping into him, he lit up even more. Maybe because my cock was also swelling from feeling his body hair and playing with his big dick. In any case, his being pleased was undeniable for me to see because I was looking right into his eyes.

So how do these 2 occurrences show that I am evolving in my topping skills?

I have long been saying that sex is not just a physical connection, but also a spiritual connection. The latter is one many gay males try to deny. Hence why doggy-style is the most common position at a sex party or backroom. For both connections exist even in a backroom/sex party tryst, and doggy-style, while a great position for a top to view the ass he is pumping into, it also helps a top avoid looking into his sex partner's eyes, which are windows to the soul.

With that said, those 2 encounters with me craving, then being a top in missionary shows me evolving because before then, my spiritual connection that I said was part of sex was obtained in my mind, but less obtained by our sexual position. Therefore, giving no guarantee as to whether or not the spiritual connection that was obtained before the sex was truly maintained during the sex. By me topping in missionary, a more intimate position, I have now evolved to obtaining that spiritual connection by more physical and definite means. A position where my playmate and I look each other in the eyes. Where we can see the beauty of healthy lust, and ask for more. Or see its ugliness and part ways soon after.

Since in addition to being horny, I need to vibe with positive sexual energy from the person(s), I believe the lust we'll have will most definitely be the beauty of healthy lust.

Tease of a Forgetten Porn Scene's BTS

Every porn scene has a behind-the-scenes tale that often has some surprising facts in it. So this behind-the-scenes story is a tease from one of my least known porn movies, "All Out Assault". I'll give a more full story, with more shocking bits in my autobiography.

So let's start with how the pic to the right is not the DVD's cover. It almost was though. For the director posted pics of every sexual pairing from the movie in a cover pic for his followers to vote on. This pic of me and my scene partner Taino was in 1st place until the cover with Mario Ortiz and Mike Dreyden was posted. Analyzing how that came about might be something else to save for the autobiography. So moving on with today...

By the time the 2007 Gay Erotic Expo came around, I was on the verge of being done with the gay porn industry. I only went that year to give the industry one more chance to stop being the racist, bottom-demeaning, rape-inciting shit pit it was (and sadly still is) before pulling myself out of it.

I wrote a blog post expressing my disappointment of how little hope I left there with. For the only hope keeping me around longer was meeting a new porn company's director, and a stud working a booth at another new porn company.

The porn director of the 1st new company I saw, Knight Stick Films wound up being the first and only director to keep his promise of being in touch. Even Rafael Alencar didn't keep his promise, but the director of a lesser known company did. And not only that, but this director conducted his business in a way that I wanted - he wanted to put together guys with genuine attractions to each other. Not like most of studio-based porn today, which is nothing more than directors being pimps throwing together 2 or more prostitutes who are way more attracted to money than each other.

Luckily, Taino and myself did have an actual attraction. At first, when I saw Taino at a booth for the company Craig Sebastian, I thought he was doing what any porn actor working a booth did with patrons at the Gay Erotic Expo - being flirtatious to get customers. Just like I did my first time working the Gay Erotic Expo in 2005. But after my blog post about the 2007 expo, when I realized that Ben Marksman the director of "All Out Assault" paired me with Taino, and Taino's reaction to meeting me in person to sign the contracts, I realized that the attraction was mutual.

After signing the contracts to do "All Out Assault", me and Taino exchanged phone numbers so we could talk about each other's sexual likes and dislikes so our scene would flow more smoothly. He called me the next day while I was on my lunch break from working as a mail clerk at Kenyon & Kenyon. A lunch break during which I was shopping at the (no more) clothing store Daffy's. So yes, I was walking through Daffy's near the walls to avoid customers from hearing me talk about liking to suck dick, talk dirty, and be spanked (among other things) while fucking.

We also discussed Taino not liking to eat ass. I informed him that I overheard that in a conversation he had with the director the night we signed our contracts. So imagine my shock when Taino rimmed my ass like it was pair of chocolate smash-cakes for adults.


That's one behind the scenes tale for you. Here's another part that I've talked about before, but from here on out, I'll save the details for my autobiography --- The scene almost ended up having me as the top and Taino as the bottom. Enjoy.

Reunion/Redemption Sex In The Men's Den

About 2 years ago, I wrote a post for my LXtreme Tumblr titled "Swiss Navy, Change Is Not Always Good". It was a tale about a sex party in which I experimented with Swiss Navy's Premium Anal lube with a playmate I've had the pleasure of having inside me before. The lube however, has clove flower extract, which is a natural ingredient, but causes numbing. This in turn led to me being denied me feeling the pleasure that time around. Not to mention that numbing turns off your body's natural alarm to tell you and your partner if you're overdoing it. Luckily, my playmate was skilled enough to not put me in that situation.

I had a number of guys tell me they were glad I wrote the post. Whoever handles Swiss Navy's Twitter account obviously felt differently. For one random day, I decided to go to their Twitter page...

All to discover that I was BLOCKED.

Oh well, they're not the best lube anyway. So there was no need to be devastated. What was devastating me was my not being able to redeem myself to my playmate from that encounter. For we saw each other at a couple of parties since that one. However, I was not prepared to bottom. So for 2 years thus far, since I strive to give the best of myself even in my casual sex encounters, in the back of my mind was a desire to have some reunion sex with him to redeem myself. I owed him for my pretending it was great sex. Especially when the fact that it wasn't great that time was not his fault in any way, shape, or form.

I recently went to a party called "Men's Den". It was only my 2nd time going. The 1st time I went, I was a bit of a wallflower. This time, I was sure me being a wallflower would not be the case. I just didn't know how soon after my arrival.

As soon as I walked in, I noticed a white guy who looked familiar, but before I could get settled in the room and investigate it, an older white guy approached me. I felt some sexual attraction to him, but his aggression of not letting me get settled in made the attraction short-lived. So I politely moved his hand, and stood on the side to settle in. Once I felt more settled, the guy I noticed as soon as I walked in came near me. His immediate look at me told me why he looked familiar. It was because he resembled my playmate from "Swiss Navy, Change Is Not Always Good". Then "resembled" turned to certainty once we greeted each other with "Hello".

We stroked each other's cock immediately after that "Hello", and started making out. So the sexual spark between us was definitely still there. But I didn't want to get my hopes up that night was going to be the night I could redeem myself.

At one point during our making out, I had my back to him, and he played with my nipples and cock. There was a dark-skinned black guy with this beautiful ass standing at a diagonal from me watching all of this. Me and my playmate both saw him, and moved closer to him. I laid down on my stomach on the edge of the bed with my playmate on top of me. The black guy's rock hard cock was right in my face, and I started sucking on him because he was a hottie on my To-Fuck list. Because that guy had an ass I couldn't decide if I wanted to put my cock in it, or grope it in missionary while he stuffed me with his big, tasty dick.

If my personal mission wasn't to redeem myself to my reunion playmate, I would have gladly made what was starting as a 1-on-1 into a 3-way. However, I'm not your typical gay male, jumping from one guy to another, even before I've even finished what I started with the one I'm already with. In short, even as a sex party tryst, I'm loyal. So since I was already in the midst of playing with my reunion playmate, I reluctantly stopped sucking on the black guy's cock and proceeded with my reunion playmate. As we continued, he grabbed a condom. That made me realize that my wish for the night was coming true. He was going to top me.

We got more on the bed. He laid me down on my back. I raised my legs, relaxing my hole to take him inside me. My hole twitched watching him put the condom on his hard dick, because it meant I was that much closer to having my ass filled with it, then his thrusts. So when the head of his dick touched the edge on my hole, it sent a tingle on my hole. A tingle that started spreading all over my body the more his cock went inside me.

While I could still hear chit-chat in the room, his tall frame hovering over me made me forget all about them, while also blocking my view of them. He was all I could focus on. Correction, he was all I wanted to focus on.

We later changed positions to where he was on his back, and I was riding his cock. Next to us was a cute light Latino getting his dick sucked. He looked at me, and tried to kiss me. Since I knew my reunion playmate didn't mind me playing with others in some capacity while with him, I let the guy kiss me. We both liked how the other kissed, and we kept going back for more. Our kissing got to be so much that I didn't want to part with it. Nor did I want to stop riding my reunion playmate's cock. So I had to re-position myself to do both comfortably.

I turned myself to ride my reunion playmate's dick at about a 45 degree angle, and stretched my left leg out. I moved my right leg in between my top's thighs, put myself back in the squatting position, and rode my top's cock while kissing the hottie still getting sucked. Yes, I showed myself to be quite flexible for 46 years of age.

I don't need to go any further with how the action went. For my goal was accomplished. He laid his pipe inside me, and because that Swiss Navy lube wasn't part of the picture, I felt every sweet sensation from his every thrust of, and every ride on his dick.

After my playing with my reunion playmate, we cuddled. During that cuddle, I admitted my being glad to have run into him. How I felt I needed to redeem myself, and telling him why I needed to redeem myself. So yes, I told him about the Swiss Navy Premium Anal lube numbing me to feel the pleasure his cock gives my hole. And due to his great sense of humor, he laughed about it. Especially since it gave me more reason to give him my ass.

Some of you are probably thinking, "He was just a fuck, not your boyfriend. So why all of the concern of wanting to 'redeem' yourself, or 'do right by him'?"

It's because, even if he's a tryst at a sex party, or a bar backroom, he is still a human being. And his actions towards me more so proved that.

For he never treated me like he wanted me just because I was Black. He never talked about me "loving his white dick", or him "loving my black booty". I simply had an ass he wanted to fuck, and at times, a dick he wanted to take in. No mention of color required. And when he topped me, it was with passion. Not aggression to emulate a modern-day rendition of a white man raping his black slave. Nor did he ask for aggression from me topping him where I was the black male using hole-tearing sex on him to avenge the abuse my forefathers suffered from slavery. That was not us. Even more deserving of a reward since all of our previous trysts were at a party that fetishizes black males in its marketing. Very contrary to this party whose marketing puts everyone of every color and ethnicity on the same level. So with the aforementioned negative actions having no place with us, if I screw up a fuck, he (and any man like him) deserves my desire to redeem myself. Making it my duty to give my booty when that opportunity for redemption presents itself.

And here was that opportunity, and I'm so glad that I honored it.

How A Versatile Bottom Tops

Many versatile bottoms top so seldom that when they do top, they surprise even themselves. At least that's been the claim of every versatile bottom that has topped me. Well my thought is they have a dick, and all of our cock's naturally crave to penetrate or be massaged for stimulation. Even if it's the palm of our own hand. So a bottom suddenly deciding to top is not an impossibility. A fact I can definitely testify to.

For it seems that I have a history of leading versatile bottoms to have topping moments. The way these moments came about was by me not doing much. This leads me to wonder what did I do, or what do I have to make them feel so comfortable and confident about topping me.  Well, I've come to realize that it's at least 3 of these 4 things:

Give them the option
As I mentioned earlier, my bottoming for versatile bottoms often resulted from me without warning, being put into a bottoming position when I initially thought that they would be assuming that position. Such was the case with my playmate from "Prince Albert Goes Inside". I showed up intending to be a top, got rimmed by my intended bottom, then the next thing I knew, he lubed up my ass, and put his cock in me, fucking my ass hard for almost 45 minutes straight. Some would say instances such as that border on rape. I beg to differ. For as the old saying goes, "you can't rape the willing". And that's what has happened each time for me.

Early on in our meeting, I asked if they were top, bottom, or versatile. They at first say "bottom", then they say "versatile bottom". If I reveal my being versatile after, I always tell them that if at any time they feel the desire to top me, don't be afraid to take advantage. And I've enjoyed each time they took advantage.

Don't dwell on it

When I tell a versatile bottom to not be afraid to take advantage, I tell them that one time, and if I see them more than once, I hardly ever bring it up again. I might say that they have a beautiful dick, but I'm not pressuring them to put that beautiful cock inside my ass. It's more so to give them a blowjob. 

Because with no huffing on poppers required - I love, love, LOVE, LOVE sucking dick. The entire journey of it from looking at it up close before it goes in my mouth, to the taste of its head and skin. And I love to taste and swallow the cum that fills my mouth because of my cocksucking skills. And I always let any bottom I'm sucking on know that's why I'm so eager to suck their cock. The discussion about him topping me, was already said and done, so moving on.... until he's ready.

Give them confidence

You have to give a versatile bottom confidence that they are not less of a man because they bottom. I feel the need to give them that confidence because gay males are too often their own worst enemy by stigmatizing being a bottom. Or being versatile, like myself for that matter. Because it's a common act in porn for bottoms to be belittled, and a common "joke" in gay comedy and drag shows in a demeaning way to label someone as a bottom when they admit to being any degree versatile. Because of this, a versatile bottom doesn't often feel confident enough to admit to their own versatility. For most of the gay male community has now been taught to not acknowledge it. So I try to let my invitation to let them top me give them a safe place for their versatility to shine.

For if you help a guy that's any degree of a bottom to feel that bottoming does not lessen their manhood, it might lessen their anxiety in using their dicks as part of the play when they're with you. I surmise that media-induced anxiety might also be a reason why so many bottoms use poppers to  loosen up. Because if you're truly confident in your bottoming, even if it takes a couple of tries, you'll relax to accommodate the cock(s) you want to take in with no chemical required.

Due to the aforementioned confidence-killers, you instilling confidence in your partner is also necessary if your versatile bottom is not that well-endowed. When you give him the option to top you, if he notes the size of his cock as a reason why he doesn't top, inform him as to how you're not a size-queen. Now, I did say as a previous step to not dwell on it. In this case, if he brings up doubt about his size more than once, then you re-assure him each time as a response.

Have a nice ass
This is what in the introduction of this list that I was referring to as the "what do I have" to inspire versatile bottoms to top me. And it makes perfect sense for it to be so. I'm sure that my sexcapades in which I inspired a versatile bottom to top would have never happened if not for the aforementioned previous steps, as well as me having this ass that I am often complimented on.

This is not to say that using the previous 3 steps without what you think is a great ass won't inspire a versatile bottom to top you if you want him to. Because just like giving our hearts to love is inspired by traits within a person, those same traits within a partner can also create that spark to make us give our bodies to lust.


With only 4 steps, it doesn't take a lot of steps to get a versatile bottom unsure to his topping skills to become more self-assured. What it might take a lot of however is patience. For the damaged done to the male ego by the aforementioned confidence-breakers might take awhile to undo. So if you're willing to wait it out, you may in due time get a truly versatile bottom. One that might even go from versatile bottom, to totally versatile.

Either way, your patience will be rewarded.

Sexual Narrow Mind

Many things in the gay community dictate the perceptions and sexpectations we gay males have of one another. Based on everything  from our skin color, age, exhibitionism level, sexual orientation, etc.

The problem is... many of them lead to life as a lonely single gay male, using certain sexual exploits to overcompensate.

Unfortunately, the main influencers to this problem among us are once again, gay media, porn, and nightlife. For our straight parents can't tell us what it means to be a gay male. Add to that how many running outlets of those aforementioned gay sources tell you to do away with even the decent principles your straight parents taught you, you will then end up with gay males having ignorant and limiting outlooks.

Sadly, they will always be the main contributors to this problem until a complete overhaul is done. One that adds new blood to surge through the veins of these influential sources. New blood from those who are more self-assured, ethical, non-racist, therefore more representational of our country's rainbow of skin color. When that happens the relevance of poems like "Sexual Narrow Mind" will no longer be.


Sexual Narrow Mind from LeNair Xavier on Vimeo.

When I Write A Sex Tale, I Want You....

When I write a sex tale, my intent with writing such detailed descriptions of the sex is (as I have said in promoting my posts) to make my audience horny. In addition to that, it is also a means to motivate readers to try the position that I play in the story when they thus far play the complete opposite in their own sex lives.

One reason many tops don't want to try bottoming is because the image porn and other writers have made it seem that bottoming to is a role that is so submissive and emasculating to a degrading level.  For as I have repeatedly said, porn is a gay male's first teacher of sexual interaction 90+% of the time. So I try to write bottoming as a role without porn's imposed limitation. TherI try to write bottoming the way I live it ----as an act that can be submissive, aggressive, equal amounts of both, or a little of one and a lot of the other. With the ability for a change-up even occurring during one sex session. And whatever the case, one's self-respect and manhood remain intact. Thereby letting a top reading it see the great variety of additional optional sensations he's denying himself by not bottoming.

When I tell of my sexual escapades as a top, I am once again trying to undo the damage taught by porn. I want to show that topping does not mean you degrade your bottom as we see on porn sites like Men.com and TitanMedia videos. Also, especially as a Black male, I'm even more conscious about making my writing undo the damage many Black gay male tops have taken from porn, which they don't seem to realize is the reason why they have a revolving door of White asses to top, but never really being taken serious as a human being deserving of monogamy or a primary love. Instead, they're seen only as being the hashtag #BBC (Big Black Cock) - stick for their hole. So I make sure to show in my writing the humanity that I show my bottoms. When you read my sex tales, I don't want you to see images in the vein of angry-sex-to-punish-whites-for-slavery as portrayed over the years by Diesel Washington and Bobby Blake, or the absolute soullessness of Supreme. And these porn actors might not like me talking about them, but the fact remains that they, like I, must own the bad representation of Black males that they played, and many Black males are following that bad example today. Especially in their interracial sexual encounters.

In short, in the 2 previous paragraphs, one goal with my writing is that I'm looking to motivate all gay males to be a community of flip-fuckers. For unless there's a pre-existing medical condition, we as males have the tools (dick & ass) to play both roles. So why not make use of them, and spend forever exploring the pleasure to be found from both. I believe it's another way for sex to never get old.

This is another reason why I give such detailed descriptions of the sex in my tales as a top. For from my experience, many total bottoms says they have tried to top, but it didn't feel good to them. When I hear that, I always wonder how many of those bottoms tried topping a bottom who using poppers, or a size-queen who never did kegels to maintain their tightness. If either or both is the case, then that bottom tried topping with someone with a loose hole that didn't match up to the sensation from the tight grip of their hand. If certain circumstances and mindsets are the case, it's no wonder it didn't feel good. Also, keep in mind that bottoms have no responsibility of having an erection unless they need to achieve a cumshot for a porn scene. Therefore, regardless of what they say, they are total bottoms taught by circumstance.

I know many writers will tell you to not seem judgmental of an act when writing. Well, I don't live by the rules of this age that says "Say nothing", because that rule is what has so many having lousy sex. And it's not going to begin to stop until someone tries to educated people that certain behaviors are wrong to yourself, and disrespectful to your partner. Now, I may be just a blogger (at the moment), but I feel if just one person is inspired by my honesty in a sex tales of how wrong some of these allotted behaviors are, then my writing is entertaining AND educating.

With that said, it's impossible for me to stay silent when something is being done wrong, especially when it comes to a subject I love ----SEX. For one overall goal with my writing is to inspire good mental and emotional health during sex. That has not thus far, nor will it ever be achieved by one or more parties taking a huff of poppers, snorting cocaine, being drunk, popping pills, etc. So you will not read of me inciting such acts. You will instead read of me condemning them. Hoping to inspire you to leave those things behind before, during, and after sex, so you can have the best sex possible.

Now, haters are going to hate. And I know I have a sex life that many envy. Truth be told, that's on them. In any case, I've made my writing motivations more obvious, maybe those whose quick-to-judge attitudes make them believe my tales are for me to brag and nothing more will be enlightened to how I actually use my gift of writing about my sexual prowess as a means to better sex lives.

Fucking The What Out Of Me

I recently went to the Rainbow Playground up in Queens for a Tuesday night CumUnion party. As soon as I arrived, I found myself watch by a couple of guys. Both were good looking and had nice bodies. So why was I hesitant, and stand-offish? It's because I'm humble enough to not be arrogant about the compliments I get on my looks. So their pursuit of me was a bit overwhelming. Plus, it had been quite awhile since the last time I was at a sex party there. So I needed to feel the vibe, and find my comfort zone in this space uncommon to me.

Once I settled into that comfort zone, I found myself standing as the right angle in a right triangle between those 2 aforementioned guys. The place was so dark in that particular area that I decided one of these guys were going to get me. Top or bottom, someone was getting it. So it was decision-making time.

There was a short well-built Latino, and a light skin guy who was either Black or Latino. I chose the former. After all, I liked him from the moment I saw his silhouette. And as I walked towards him for a better view, I like him even more. Plus, I suspected he was more of what I needed. Time would only tell if I was right.

We started feeling each other up. We reached for each other's cock, and groped each other's asses. We did it so much that not I, or any passerby voyeur could tell who was going to be the top and who was going to be the bottom. I'm sure many assumed  the general straight perception we are brought up with. So because of the inches difference in height with me being taller that I would be the top.

Well, I'm glad I was wrong.

Her took me over to this mattress, and had me suck his cock. And if you didn't already know, I LOVE to suck dick.. Just don't make it the all of the sex we have. Make cocksucking foreplay. With that being the case, I was not disappointed. Because I knew my mouth was worshiping that dick looking a tad too big for his little frame was doing so to prepare it for worshiped by the tightness of my ass. My ass, which had been too long without a cock inside it for a satisfying amount of time.

Uh, remember that saying "Be care what you wish for". Ummm, I got what I wished for. We fucked missionary, doggy, side saddle, Y. I remember throwing my ass on his dick  in missionary, and even more so during doggy style. As the time of his in me seemed usually long for a sex party fuck, I became more verbal. At one point during doggy style, I buried my fists into the mattress and started thrusting my ass onto his cock while he was thrusting into me. Both parties moving like this doesn't usually work because they have to both be on the same exact beat and rhythm. And as it turned out, not only were we on the same rhythm. But we were actually following the beat of the electro-dance music playing.

Electro-dance music, which I hate. Because that music was why I had no idea how long he was inside me. It's because that fuckin' song never seemed to goddamn end! I just assumed we were at it for about 20 - 30 minutes, which like I said, is unusually long for a sex party fuck. That's the amount of time you have sex with a hook-up, or your significant other. Not at a sex party. And trust me, that is merely an observation. Not by any means is it a complaint.

After realizing we were at it for so long, I did the unthinkable...I stopped him. It wasn't because I was so tired of fucking. Because like I said, I needed to bottom, and 20 - 30 minutes at a sex party should definitely scratch that itch good. The oddness of it is because when I bottom, I'm a power bottom. And as good as his cock was, you would think I'd be writing this blog post with his dick still thrusting and throbbing in my ass. So what stopped me? It's because I had numerous moments during the sex where I felt something that maybe those of you readers who are more expert bottoms can enlighten me on.

During the sex, I had a few instances of feeling something in my dick ready to shoot out. I was not stroking my dick, because as usual, I was too busy either holding my position, or even more likely, enjoying touching on him. So I was repeatedly trying to figure out: was I about to piss? Or was this guy's cock so good that he was literally fucking the cum out of me? To the point that I could ejaculate hands-free?


Repeatedly asking myself this started to fuck with my rhythm, so I stopped the sex, and told him I needed a break. Afterwards, I went to the bathroom, and pissed - but not much. So my expert bottom readers, I'm asking you, what does your expert experience tell you what was going on with my body? Because if such an instance happens again, if it's a cumshot my dick is craving to let loose, I want to let it go, and fall into my own jizz - the aftermath of a hot fuck.

Getting Out The Kinks: Pants-LESS Is More

I wrote about this kink before some years ago when I was blogging for the gay porn company, Pitbull Productions. But since that blog is now gone, I thought it best to revisit it since I've matured in my writing skills and knowledge to explain what is my personal draw to this kink.

Like anybody else, I'm an admirer of a handsome face. So of course my sexual fantasies are sparked by the thought of looking in that face during sex. And while I am versatile in real life, my fantasies usually have me assume the role of bottom. So it doesn't hurt to have a gorgeous face to imagine looking at while having a bottoming fantasy.

I have also made it no secret that I'm a total ass-man.

In fact, I will fantasize about bottoming for a guy based on seeing only his ass. Never really caring if I ever see his dick.

Now, just because I'm a total ass-man, that doesn't mean that I will turn down the chance to see a beautiful dick. And since I'm not by any means a size-queen, I don't care about his cock size.

I'm a happy camper as long as there is a cock to fantasize about letting in my ass. Be it just inside the hole, deep enough to massage my prostate, or so deep that the more he thrusts in my ass, the more latex or pre-cum I can taste.

My next favorite body part to base my sexual fantasies on are his legs.

I love a nice strong pair of legs, especially his calves. It helps me to imagine him having the muscles to push hard and deep into my ass.

Seeing a man's chest and arms are not big concerns of the sex in my fantasies, or real life. I am however concerned about his stomach. I don't care if it's his abs are washboard. However, if his wearing only a shirt makes him look like he's wearing the old maternity tops women used to wear, then I'm turned off. And that is not a statement of fat-shaming. I'm just stating I'm not normally into larger guys. But I have had a couple of husky guys in my day.

With all that said, it should be clear to see that the titillating sight of a guy wearing only a top and no pants allows me to focus on the bareness of the body parts that incite my lust the most.

Well, if you like the photos in this post, then you'll be glad to learn that I have over 300 more photos in my public One Drive folder labeled "No Pants". So enjoy.

Weapon Of Mass Seduction