Come See Me: The Gates Of WiL

I know this is sudden, but Monday night I will be a guest on the internet talk show called "The Gates of WiL" a show hosted by WiL Group. Wil, another guest, and myself will be discussing that "dirty" word that many in the gay community (Whites especially) don't want to acknowledge ---

RACISM in the LGBT community.

It will air live on NotStr8.tv at 10 PM EST. Hope you can tune in, and if you can't tune in, it will be available for watching later.

But I'm sure you know that things like this are better viewed live.

Deeper Moaned: The Dirty Word Report - Part 2

With the racism affecting so many place especially within the gay community, at "Saying The Dirty Word....LIVE!", we weren't able to cover every facet of where racism is displayed as much as I wanted to.

One thing I didn't get to explore as much as I would have liked was online hook-ups and dating. I did get to say one part of what I wanted to say on the matter with gays always using the excuse "it's just a preference" when they say, "No ______", and fill in the blank with the name of a certain race. What I said was in the same vein of a comment I made recently on Facebook replying to another comment to mutual Facebook friend's status update about racism. I had to call this person out on his ignorance on how he was living in denial of his own racism. I pretty much told him that we all have a preference, but to make yourself blind to the sexual beauty of a race to the point of TOTALLY writing them off by saying "No _______s" is an act of racism. No "if"s "and"s or "but"s about it.

And if you've followed me for any length of time, then you know that I've had to overcome my racism towards other Black males. And based on the overcompensating dominating behavior that I pointed out in Part 1, it is still an issue I struggle with. However, I do know that there are some decent Black males out there just like with any other ethnicity, and I am more and more making myself open to trysts and maybe even romances with them. So I know from what I speak on this issue.

Another thing that I didn't get to tap as much into as I would have liked is about how gay media perpetuates the idea that Whites are the all-knowledgeable and all-beautiful of our community. With photographers who instead of diversifying, instead follow suit by making Whites and those of light-complexions their main photo subjects. This is what I hinted at in Part 1 that if allotted the time, I would have explored further because of Dennis Chin's great point.

Gay media, which is mostly run by Whites, acts as if minorities' place is to be followers, and never rise much beyond that position. This is a point I once brought forth in an exchange with The Advocate's Editor-In-Chief, Matthew Breen. He tried to smooth it over to say that in one of the magazine's issue presenting a list that Blacks were included. This was NOT acceptable to me, and it shouldn't be to you either.

Because as I responded, I want to know when is a Black going to be shown as a great enough member of the LGBT community to not be thrown in a pile, but instead be the cover story of a magazine like The Advocate, Instinct, or Out for their great contributions? Or when is Logo going to tap a person of color to become the sole host of a show that shows their knowledge about sex, life, and/or love? More specifically, one of medium to dark-complexion, instead of the light-complexions they use to simultaneously not "mess up" the light color scheme too much and try to avoid a much deserved charge of racism. For we too have the knowledge, but these media outlets refuse to let us shine fully, so they give us micro-seconds of spotlight flashes instead.

Instinct Magazine tried to give me attitude via Twitter when I made this charge at them by saying they do give people of color praise. Sure. They gave me this attitude when their cover model was Rodiney Santiago of the most negative gay stereotyping show on television, "The A-List: New York" AND when you can easily go to the photo album of their Facebook page and see their minimal number of Black cover models.

The racists are out there sending letters and writing emails to the powers-that-be with the hopes of keeping their racist imagery alive. If you are a person of color, how dare you complain about how wrong the powers-that-be are for not representing you (in a good light, if at all) when you've made no attempt to contact the powers-that-be, but instead all you've done is sit in a corner and moan to yourself? If you want to see that long overdue change, then write your letters, write your emails, don't go to their events, and write letters and emails telling them why they're unfit to have your dollars.

And if you feel one or more of my blog posts on the matter of racism says what you want to say, then feel free to flood their mailboxes with forwarded emails and printed out copies. Let's bring the narrow-minds and racist trash that is heading gay media into the present day. A present day where ALL ethnicities, colors, and shades are to be represented in what they do. Or else, see their supposed empires crumble by our lack of support, as many try lying to themselves that they are not. Because for their dismissal and ignoring our presence, Karma has made them rightfully on the brink of that crumbling.

And call me "sadistic", but I feel no mercy for them.

To be honest, I was disappointed by the turnout at "Saying The Dirty Word....LIVE!". It was a nice number for that size room, but considering how widespread a problem this is in our community, that room should have been filled to the point of it being a fire hazard and beyond. So this makes me ask, 'Why did people stay away?' Was it because you were worried about your racially insensitive friends calling you "angry"?

When I was first approached about doing "Saying The Dirty Word....LIVE!", I was asked to bring others into it. Well, I don't know any porn actors to bring in it because they have an "every man for himself" mentality - and I use the term "man" loosely because of that mindset. And as far as bloggers go, I parted ways with a White one for being racially insensitive enough to call me "angry", and the Black bloggers I know don't deal with the issue enough (if at all) on their blog for me to consider them allies in this effort. It's as if they keep their blog's heart light so they can keep peace with White.

The problem is I know so many of us have experienced racism or seem it in one form or another that few who live in NYC have good excuses for not being there. And if you can answer "yes" to any of the aforementioned scenarios as to what kept you away, then you need  to grow up. You need to STOP acting like you're still in high school caving in to "peer pressure". Because before you know it, Karma is going to have you, the racists, and those catering to the racist mindset being either that lonely old man trying to get some young and beautiful tail that justifiably doesn't want you back as you sit lurking in the dark corner a bar or club, or searching on Rentboy, RentMen, etc. With the only reason you're free to be yourself being because the "friend(s)" you were so busy pleasing before, you either had a falling out with, they moved away, or died. OR you'll be stuck in a relationship founded on your racism that you'll be miserable in. Either way, by then, it's too little, too late. And justifiably so, no one should give a damn about your well-deserved, self-imposed prison of loneliness. If you think I'm wrong about your foreseeable future, you'll be the one wrong. After all, there's a reason I'm 40 going on 41, ....and don't look it. So I strongly advise you to get your shit together.

The reason people of color are given such minimal exposure in any of these situations, be it porn, nightlife, media, etc. is the modern-day "slave owner" mentality that is meant for us people of color to feel powerless. And from what I see, pathetically most people of color have adopted the mindset of  weakness, "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em". Hence why some of my fellow people of color are quick to join light-complexioned races in calling me "angry". The truth is the opposite is the case, and we all need to start taking advantage of our power if this is at all going to change.

"Saying The Dirty Word...LIVE!" was one way. This blog and others like it are another. What's your way?

Deeper Said: The Dirty Word Report - Part 1

On Friday, November 4th, I moderated the event presented by Men of All Colors Together/NY called "Saying The Dirty Word...LIVE!" at the LGBT Center in NYC to discuss the present state of racism in the LGBT community.

I began the discussion by focusing on the racism we see in gay porn. One of the many highlights of my night happened early on when I mentioned the scapegoating porn studios try to use for not hiring Black porn models. As an example, I used a quote by Michael Lucas' from the Next Magazine article "White Cock Only". Before even reading that quote of his, the moment I mentioned his name, a room full of various ethnicities (Black, White, Asian, and Latino) made a sigh in unison of "UGHHHH!!!". Hear for yourself in this soundbyte from my audio recording of the evening:

I almost peed my pants trying to hold back laughter over the shock. But since I was the moderator, I did my duty maintaining my composure and carried on. Bringing up the point of how he's so quick to point the finger at Blacks claiming we're homophobic, yet he's quick to hire Whites and Latinos who claim to be "gay-for-pay", which is just internalized homophobia using money as an excuse to release their true gay or bisexual selves.

What Lucas and many other studios fail to realize is that some of us are not naive like the sell-out Whites, Latinos, Blacks, etc. who buy their half-assed excuses. Because what I see is this - you can wave money in the face of a White or Latino from upper-class to trailer trash, and the rules of their cultures will let them sell out their orientation for a buck way easier than Blacks,who while some may live life on the "down-low", it's only the ghetto trash of those Blacks who are going to be dumb enough to put their internalized homophobia on display by getting in front of a camera. So this is not Blacks being more homophobic. It's Blacks being (in a way) more intelligent about not making their lying to themselves so public, then making excuses with their panties in a bunch as they try explaining sexual behavior that greatly contradicts their claimed orientation, like White and Latino "gay-for-pay" porn actors do. Do the names Jeremy Bilding, Wolf Hudson, and Reese Rideout, just to name a few ring any bells?

Maybe rapes of both Black women and men during slavery is probably to blame for Black males taking such a position about guarding their sexual orientation. If so, then that's the silver lining in the dark cloud in our nation's history that is Slavery.

Those rapes of Black males by White slave owners may also be the cause of a mindset passed down through generations of the uber-masculine routine that some Black males do, especially towards Whites, and muscular physiques some Black males feel they must build for acceptance by Whites. With Whites cowering down to it out of White guilt for either their present wealth, sins of their forefathers, or a combination of both. Be it in porn or real life, while I've overcome my racism towards other Black males a great deal, Black males using sex as a weapon in both instances turns me off to them. And the fact that I'm so opposite is probably why at sex parties, when I top a White guy, like all other Blacks topping non-Blacks, I'm initially ignored. Most likely because that image of a Black male using sex as a weapon on light-complexioned people is soooo overdone, especially thanks to the likes of wasted existences like Chi Chi LaRue with his "Blackballed" series. But after awhile, they're interested in watching me once they see how while I'm a passionate and aggressive fucker, I'm also affectionate enough to not be bordering on raping that non-Black bottom.

One thing on the subject of porn that I didn't get to correct was the idea said by one attendee that porn was a fantasy.

Is it really?

For other areas where we see racism never got as much discussion time because our long talk about porn kept leaving room to segue for just a flash into those other areas, like gay nightlife and gay media. Also during the night, the point keep getting made of how porn has influenced so many gay males' racially-based expectations in reality. So blowing off porn as being just a fantasy is the first mistake. It's the reason that themes like "gay-for-pay", and Blacks as overcompensating dominating tops has gotten so out of hand to where too many are OK with it, and those low enough on self-esteem seek it in reality. Porn is not so supposed to be so much fantasy as it is voyeurism.

Another area we were able to touch on a little bit was gay nightlife. I didn't get to talk about the difference in method of payment between Blacks and White go-go boys where White go-go boys are more able to get gigs where they get a base pay. Meanwhile Black go-go boys in NYC often have to work in venues where they're borderline prostitutes by having to cozy up to patrons and give lap dances, then give a portion to the party promoter like a hooker does with their pimp before they make any kind of take-home-money.

However, we were able to address how some patrons are being forbidden entry based on race. This is where our invited guests from GAPIMNY filled us in. They recalled how at the popular Friday night party called "RockIt" thrown by Tony Fornabaio and Brandon Voss that Asian patrons were being turned away.

But the staff at "RockIt" were put to a test that shows how reprehensibly widespread racism in the gay community is. Asians were allegedly being turned away if they came in groups of Asians. However, Asians attending alone or with White friends were allowed in. With the latter, GAPIMNY's Dennis Chin pointed out how this shows how sadly still in this day and age, it is the White aesthetic that gets people of color by. If those people of color are accepted by Whites, they are OK. Otherwise, they are deemed not worth acknowledging. And Dennis couldn't have been more correct in pointing this fact out. I will give you a prime example as to why in Part 2.

Another instance of racism that the guys of GAPIMNY pointed out was the party named "Mars Needs Whores". The problem was that the original name of the party was "Mr. Wong's Dong Emporium", and all the party offered was of an Asian influence. While I don't believe racism was the intent, the controversy that erupted over this in addition to what was expressed in GAPIMNY's open letter to the promoters, I'm sure was also sparked by people who know of the promoters Cazwell and Joey Israel's past parties, therefore knew what to expect - every party staffer being someone they knew from many other popular parties in NYC with not one of them being Asian. If the intent was to "pay homage to Asian culture" as said in an apologetic notice by co-promoter Joey Israel, then how can you have a party in a city where Asians make up a great deal of the city's diversity, YET have no Asian staffers? This is the fact I was trying to convey in my open letter to the promoters that I posted on my Tumblr blog, while the racially-insensitive Whites, Latinos, and others of light-complexion (including Blacks) kept posting comments to those bothered by the marketing saying "Lighten up!"

My response to them is, "No, you insensitive pricks. Why don't you have a heart that goes beyond your cookie-cutter White world, and WISE UP?!"

While they will probably never get it, Karma is a bitch. And the price I forsee them most likely paying will be an ugly one that I will tell you about...

...when you read Part 2.