Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Dirty Fantasy: BITE ME!

Now, don't let the title fool you. Biting is not my thing. However, the title will make sense later on in the story.

About 3 weeks ago, I went bar-hopping between 2 bars, The Cock which was having the new party called "Dry Hump" and The Urge which was having their weekly contest that I have mentioned winning before, "Ass Wednesday".

I went to The Urge and was asked to be in the contest. No, I did not win, so this tale did not have that as even a part of a happy ending, especially considering why that was the case.

I told you before that New York has been migrated with a bunch of midwesterners who are bringing the racism of the in-bred Midwestern mentality with them. I say this because me and another black guy entered the contest. Let's forget about my ass and the praise it gets, let's talk about the other black guy's ass. An ass that I must say was pretty hot. While his ass was nice and round with a good bump, the applause was lackluster. The crowd made their racist feelings clear that as long as the ass was light it was alright, but if it had a deep tan, then it should be panned, because some of those light asses were flat or fat(and not in a cute way), but they got a bigger round of applause that the other black contestant.

It was because of this that I entered the contest. I was experimenting to see for myself if this is really what I was seeing, and it was true. The crowd at The Urge that night was full of a bunch of racist hicks. There was one guy who wasn't such a douchebag though. He must have made the gesture from his seat of wanting to bite my ass. The drag queen who was hosting asked him if he wanted to bite it. I turned around to see who wanted a piece of me. It turned out being the guy who I was sitting next to when I decided to enter the contest who was friends with the other black contestant. And I did think he was incredibily HOT, so I poked my ass out for him, and to my surprise ---- he actually came up and bit it. HE BIT MY ASS!

If it was that kind of show, in that instance, he could have done quite a bit more.

Anyway, after I sat back done, I wasn't sure if this guy was with the other black contestant as a boyfriend or friend. As he was heckling one of the other contestants, I found out that he was just a friend. We were sitting so close that an "accidental" grazing of each other could easily happen, so we let it. Then that led to us rubbing each other's hands, and legs, as we watched the rest of the contest. And eventually, we kissed. I got his name, and I gave him my card which has my email address on it. I told him to email me, so we could get together sometime. I have yet to hear from him, but if I did, I know it would be a hot time.

At one point I asked him his Zodiac sign which turned out being a Leo. So my knowing I would be in for a hot time would be because of that chemistry, PLUS Aries and Leo both being fire signs. Now when 2 fire signs fuck ---- it's Passion City.

When we were touching each other, maybe his motivation was just to touch. My motivation was to touch, as well as feel the musculature of his tall slim frame. Like how muscular are the thighs and calves that would help him to thrust into me. I'm also a leg-man. Also, by feeling them, I could imagine what they look like without the pants, with the only untold part being if he has any scars or how hairy his legs might be. Whether his legs are as smooth as a baby's bottom, or hairy as a chimpanze, I want to find out. And being the lust-bucket I am, I'll be pleased either way.

So what would my fantasy about this guy be?
To pick up from where we left off on that stage. For starters, as a way of saying THANKS for taking me up on my offer to let him ravish me, I'd suck his cock till it was throbbing with anticipation of entering me. But he'd know for his own satisfaction, that before he could enter me, he would have to explore my ass more. So he would throw me down on the bed onto my stomach, and run the edge of his teeth against my ass cheeks, tickling all the nerve ending in my ass. From there he would proceed to eat me out. Slobbering my hole to prepare it for his entry. As my twitches and grinds intensifies from the sensation of his wet tongue on my hole, I start tooting my ass up more as a way to beg for him to finally put his cock inside me. He obliges, and it turns out being a with the case of most tall, slim guys, he probably has a thick dick that I'll have to brace for the impact of. He'll then proceed to fuck me in just about every position in the gay Kama Sutra with hard and fast thrusts, making the only time his thrust would be anywhere near slow is while spooning and/or in missionary. This would give me a moment to savor his cock throbbing inside me, and massage his ass muscles as they flex from his glides to go deeper inside me. He would then return to his hard and fast thrusts with the each impact into my ass causing a loud slap, showing the high degree of passion he has in his desire to lay his pipe inside my hole. And while I wouldn't be helpless, for the most part I would lay there as if I was. After all, Leos do like to be in charge, and as bad as I wanted his cock, if this fantasy could become reality, why would I dare argue?

As in all fantasies, my question of how to end it is always do I let the guy come with his cock inside me, or let him pull it out and spray his man-milk all over me, then I fall asleep with it drying all over me. I think it best to decide depending on the individual, and when he has his biggest cum-load. Which ever one has the biggest cum-load is the one that I get sprayed with. The other cumming's purpose is to experience his cock throbbing when he releases all that pent up sexual tension into my hole.

And YES, that means we would fuck TWICE. That's the one thing that fantasizing about isn't much of a stretch from reality. Most of my encounters, especially most that have been at my place have led to 2 fucks before we say our goodbyes. And if I want to talk about stretching, imagine how much stretching happened with 2 fucks from the Frenchman, and the 2 Swedes. Now, do you see why I do Kegels?

Well, that ass-biting hottie from The Urge does have my card. So his chance at a double-dip still awaits. Question is, if this happens, will I tell you, or keep it as one of my sexy dirty secrets that I'll never tell? Because believe it or not, I do have a few. Maybe this will be added to that list should it happen....or not. Only time will tell.

Monday, December 28, 2009

The Hulk In Us All

The Marvel Comics character, The Incredible Hulk, is so immensely popular for one very simple reason. It's because that creature is in every single one of us. No matter what gender, color, nationality, ethnicity, or even religion, there lies within you that part of you that if pushed, you can lose control, and do things, unseemly of your normal character.

What triggers going to that extreme is different for every person, but it is there nonetheless. It could be a romantic relationship ending after all you've done right, hence how crimes of passion come to be. It could also be having enough of tolerating a verbally abusive boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, peers, colleagues, or superiority figure(s) at your job. Whatever the case may be, it is a part of us that many of us don't want to admit to having. That's why when you hear news stories of people who have gone off the deep end by going on a killing spree, so many people brush them off as being unstable. They're using that other person's loss of control as a way to hide the fact that they have the potential to lose it as well.

The feeling of having enough by no means excuses heinous actions, I just have a brand of a human understanding as to how it gets there for some, and mature enough to acknowledge that I have a breaking point as well. For we are human, so we all have a breaking point whether we want to admit to it, or not.

I have already showed signs of my breaking point if you recall, in "Sex, Then Violence Resurrection, Part 1", and realized what brought me to that point in Part 2. I remember deliberating with myself on how to attack him - with a slap, or a punch for calling me a "ghetto nigger". I went with the slap because to punch him would have ignited such a massive release of over 2 decades of surpressed anger, and that scared me about myself, for that means had I punched him----
---- I would not have stopped until there was nothing left to beat.

The bottom line of this post is to say that while an Incredible Hulk is within us all, we must find a way to keep that nasty inner-creature from surfacing in a physically violent fashion unless absolutely necessary, such as a time when you and/or your loved ones are in immediate danger. I, like many artists, use my creativity to keep it underwraps by venting those dark emotions through various art forms. That's why I wrote "Sex, Then Violence Resurrection". It was a mental note to myself to keep that ugly monster under control, and let no one's verbal ignorance be so great that it makes that monster surface beyond that point ever again. I feel that if more people used some kind of outlet, we wouldn't be hearing many of the horrid news sotries of people losing control that we've been hearing as of late. We need to stop teaching ourselves and our children repression of emotions, and start telling ourselves and our children to express them instead. And tell them that if public displays have too much at stake, then express it privately with dignity and sanity. Either way, it must be released, for bottling it up eats at the soul. Which may very well explain the extreme aging Americans are known for.
Do you have a way to keep your Hulk within under control? I pray that you do. And if you don't, even though a new year is coming upon us, don't wait until that new year to make a resoultion - FIND A WAY TODAY.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

New Year's Eve Plan....Lustin' The Wet Boys of Baña

How are you ringing in the new year?

Well, I'll be spending it at the Baña Pool Party, where the sight of all those HOT guys in swim trunnks, speedos, bikinis, and thongs - all nice and wet will satisfy my kink for hot guys with wet bodies, as explained in "Getting Out The Kinks: Step To Me - WET!", one of my past blog post for Pitbull Productions' ThugPornBlog a couple of years ago, .

And the theme for the party is "Fire & Ice". I'm not sure if I'll have a costume yet, but you can be certain that I will at least have a sexy swimsuit to display.

So if you're going to be in NYC on New Year's Eve, spend it poolside like me, lusting the wet boys of Baña. Whether the boys get wet from the swimming pool, the sweat of the steamroom or sauna, or the combo of water and sweat by hanging in the jacuzzi, I'm looking forward to my eyes getting plenty of subjects to tickle my fancy. Add to that live entertainment, games, and an all-night open vodka and beer bar (for some that's a great supply of "liquid courage" no doubt) they will be no reason for you to not be a social butterfly.

Now, since you can't think of a sexier way to ring on the new year, get your ticket(s) to Baña here

....and if you see me, do as one hot number did at the last Baña, and say "Hello".

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Write That Down #8

I have said before that I've never dated anyone beyond a month. It's not by choice. It's just that I seem to have a my eyes open enough to see that flaw that I know will be intolerable in the long-run. So while some may try to poke fun at my 1-month dating thus far, I take solace in the fact, that I'm happy and single. I wonder can those laughing at me call themselves "happy and taken" or "happily married"?

Now, it would be nice to call myself "happy and taken", as I have been involved with someone for the past month, but I'm getting signs that it may be over, because I'm feeling (once again) that I'm doing all the work to keep our communication going, and getting no help in return. I say "once again) because if you call, I had this problem with Danny and others, and I'll be damned if I'm going to be put through a one-sided affair again at length like I did then.

This made me sit down, think about, and put into words what I really want out of a guy, therefore makes him more than a guy, but a MAN. Thereby also, making him worth a damn. So I wrote it down and it is as follows:

Call it arrogance, but I know I'm a phenomenal individual in regards to the depth of my heart, mind & soul. So while it's nice to hear, I don't need a guy to tell me that. What I want from him is to be just selfish enough to do every humane thing possible to make those qualities his to benefit from most, but selfless enough to let me give some to the world beyond us, and man enough to say the words and (even more so) do the actions that show he acknowledges and cherishes those traits, as I do the same for him. For THIS makes both of our existences worth a damn, not just to each other, but to the entire world.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

On Gay Marriage...Why So Long A Silence

In my recent post, "Faggy Bitch", I said that I would address the issue as to why I do not take part in rallies for same-sex marriage. And today is the day that I make good on my word.

My post, "Write That Down #2", was the start of the explanation for my reason why I don't take part in rallies. It is short enough that I can re-post it here in its entirety and continue with my explanation from there.

In a recent online debate with Taylor Siluwé on his blog about small turnouts amongst gay Blacks at rallies, marches, and the like, I referred to how for a cause led by Whites who don't usually associate with non-Whites, that while trying to reach their goal, those Whites wlll acknowledge all races, colors, creeds, ethnicities, etc. encouraging them to take part, but once that goal is accomplished, those minorities are once again ignored. I said that the small turnout of many minorities at rallies, marches, and such led by Whites may be explained by them catching on to this two-faced behavior. And I believe if you translate that reaction into words, it would probably say,

"Why let you acknowledge the existence of my color today, when you're going to act like it's a stain to wash away tomorrow?"

Those sentiments of mine have not changed. And from what I see of the gay community here in New York, my feet are only going to get more firmly planted into the ground on that stand. The reason I do not take part in gay marriage rallies is because I do not like to stand side-by-side with so many hypocrites. You know they say "one bad apple doesn't spoil the whole bunch". The problem is that in the American gay community, there seems to be too many hypocritical, two-faced bad apples for me to follow that motto. With that many bad apples as so-called "allies", let's say we accomplish the goal of marriage equality together, but afterwards, I still won't feel the safety of a brotherhood, because of the racism and ageism that is worst in the gay community than it is in the straight community.

I've seen these occurences during all times of the day, and all kinds of places in the gay community. From restaurants, to shows, to porn, to mainstream gay media, to simple walks down the street. Now, as you may have come to realize, I spend alot of time in NYC gay nightlife, so many of my findings to back up my statements can be found there.And they will prove valid, because it's during the night, your time away from wearing your "diplomatic office face", is when the true you, and your true friendships will be shown.

Such as how I noticed that while many were mentioning on Facebook and Twitter about becoming part of the Equality March in Washington D.C., and how we all need to "get on the bus", I noticed that many of those people were either promoters in NYC's gay nightlife who seldom hire Blacks as go-go boys or staff (but stand a better chance to be hired if they do drag), or patrons who I see often in my outings, but never socialize with a Black man (not even so much as on a friendly level), or dismissing a man in his early 30's while they are in they're in their mid to late 20's. Yet they try saying that we all need to be in this together. NOW IS THAT FUCK-FACED HYPOCRISY, OR WHAT?! You have no desire to have me in the same workplace or any space for that matter except as a joke, but because you have this goal you want to accomplish, NOW I'm suddenly your brother. Anyone who is any where near as self-assured as I am knows that once that goal of Marriage Equality is accomplished, they will have no idea of who I or any other Black and/or older man is. You'll be another Black and/or older person who because of your being Black and/or older is seen as too ugly for the job, too ugly to socialize with, and too ugly to get to know the intellect of.

This brand of racism and ageism seems to be infesting the entire American gay community. And I feel that if we are to show that we deserve equal rights, then we can't be worse than our oppressors like we are now ----WE HAVE TO BE BETTER THAN THEY ARE. We as a whole must stop being so racist that interracial dating happens less in the American gay community than in the straight community. We as a whole must stop acting like the age of 30 is over the hill, while the straight community acts like it's 40. In this case, both communities are wrong for their practices of ageism, but when it comes to who should be damned first and worse for the act of ageism - unfortunately, the American gay community has earned that ugly honor.

This is why I don't take part in rallies. Because this negativity would be tolerable if it was just a few bad apples, but it's not just a few bad apples. It's acres of bad apple trees. So while I believe in the fight, I will not throw my voice in to be amongst the hypocritical masses I've come to know. When I see this is corrected by way of the social scene, and gay media, THEN I will be in the sea of people taking my stand at a rally.

However, until then, I will show my voice by way of my writing like I have always done here - on my own. Inviting anyone who shares my hopes AND is void of hypocrisy to stand with me.

We are about to ring in the new year of 2010. Let's make 2009 be the end of the hypocrisy.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Faggy Bitch

On December 4th, the daytime soap, "One Life To Live" closed showing the going-ons in different characters' lives simultaneously. One of those things was a gay-bashing.

I immediately realized how often gay-bashings are seldom done by one person. Think about it, not just gay-bashings, but practically every hate crime you hear of is done by a gang. I began to think, "Are these guys too cowardly to try beating a 'fag' up one-on-one? After all, these thugs always want to claim how much less of a man we are for being gay. So why not prove it by trying to kick our ass in a one-on-one bout?

It's because as much as they want to deny it, we are males. Therefore, we possess the same (if not more) strength and skill to defend ourselves in a one-on-one battle. And that possibility is a threat to their so-called "macho-pride". My feeling is that if it's such a threat, then maybe they should stand down, mind their own business, and just leave us be.

With this thought came the words with a melody.. And the 1st verse was born in about 30 minutes. What was the hardest part was thinking of what the 2nd verse would be. Then I thought about New York voting "No" on same-sex marriage. Same-sex marriage is a topic that I have never really tackled here, nor have I participated in rallies for. And I will explain why at a later date, but the fact is the decision affected me more than I anticipated or realized. So giving birth to the 2nd verse was a total shock to me. And yes, I said giving birth, because it was like going in to labor thinking you'll be delivering 1 child. You deliver that 1 child, then you get the shock when you wonder why are you still pushing, to discover all that time you were actually pregnant with twins.

Before porn, I was always writing lyrics and poetry about romance and social awareness. Now, I never lost either, nor my desire to write about them. But I was so busy pushing the porn persona, that making my voice of social awareness heard was no longer a priority. Which is why I'm glad I quit porn, because addressing things like gay-bashing and the hypocrisy of government officials matter. They need to be addressed by greater means than tweets or little quips on your Facebook page, like many porn actors are doing, if they speak of it at all.

That's why I wrote these lyrics hoping everyone of my fellow bloggers who agree with what I say here will direct others to my calling these gay-basher and hypocritcal government officials out - on how the derogatory names they call us is really them:
(1)creating a diversion to hide how they live in secret of what we do openly, and they envy us for it, and;
(2)using us as mirrors since they hate themselves for what they are doing in perceived shadows.

This is one post of mine that I strongly encourage you to link, and pass on to friends, and pass the lyrics on to guilty parties. More so than almost anything else I've written in the past. I hope you feel that I've spoken a truth that you already know, just put in a lyrical setting. If  you don't already know this truth, then I hope that this helps you to become enlightened.

Faggy Bitch
Look at you needing a band
To make your claim that I’m not a man
You can’t beat me on your own
I guess your bitch-ass ain’t that strong
The word “fag” is your constant line
Proof that it’s so on your mind
Hating on me ‘cause I’m so true
Tells how true is so not you
You’re such a punk
You won’t beat yourself for your self-denial
Take note of your cowardice----
As it’s your own existence that’s vile

You mess of policticians
Believing all your own fiction
Claiming you’re marriage’s protection
Yet more than your spouse sees your erections
Using tax money of gay employ
To buy porn, hookers, and boy-toys
Play in the dark all you like
For what’s in the dark, comes to light
For now, hide behind Bible tales
As I’m leaving time to make you fail
For hypocrisy makes karma burn
With a lesson for you to learn

It may not be p.c.
In fighting for the rights due to me
To call you names
But I’ve grown tired of your games
You see, polite has been done for years
Yet gays are still living with tears and fears
So I’m turning the tables on you
Showing what you call me is really you

Faggy Bitch
Doth protest too much
With each gay you want to crush
That’s right I called your name
Faggy Bitch! Faggy Bitch! Faggy Bitch!
Faggy Bitch
You claim for God you’re doggin’ me
But it’s to divert from your secrecy
Envying how I’m free to be
Here I leave you to just wish and wish

Copyright 2009

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Like My Swimsuit?!

I like this picture so much, I thought I'd share it with you all.

This picture was taken at the indooor pool party, DR!P. The guy in the picture with me is my friend, Kareem, who is the author of The Blackout Blog, which is where I found this picture.

I have also worn this swimsuit at another indoor pool party, Baña. I may wear it there again at their New Year's Eve party with their theme being "Fire & Ice". The red and blue seems great for that theme.

At least for now, but I may spice it up with something else ;-)

Friday, December 11, 2009

Dirty Fantasy: The Subway's Foreign Exchange

Thanksgiving Eve, I ventured over to the debut of Suite 69. I was planning to spend some time there then head over to Daniel Nardicio's Horn O'Plenty. But I got so caught up in the fun at Suite 69, that I never made it to Daniel's party. But I looked at it this way - Suite 69 was new, and I've been to Horn O'Plenty in the past for consecutive years. In fact, I've even go-go danced there, so missing it this year wasn't a sin.

Speaking of sin, I did do a bit of sinning at Suite 69, but believe it or not, that's not the focus of this post. It's what happened after that's the tale to tell.

I got cruised on the subway AGAIN. Did any sex come of it? Again, NO, but that's not the story. It's what this guy did to get my attention, and the fantasy it inspired.

I had to transfer for my final train to get home. The train was arriving as I came down the stairs. The stairs ended at the next to last car, and I usually get in the last car since it stops right in front of the exit of my stop. Even though I could have ran to get to the last car, something stopped me from making an attempt. So what stopped me? The sight of these 2 hot guys getting on the that next to last train car. I didn't think I was going to end up in a 3-way or something, but I think I must have sensed something if I decided to not try going to the last car, and make my exit easier from the subway at almost 4 A.M. Well, I was soon to find out.

It turns out they were Euro-boys. One tall slim blond, and the other about my height with dark-hair. The one with dark hair sat right across from me, and we immediately started exchanging glances. Adding a little smirk to his, made it clear that he was checking me out. The blond sat next to him talking to him in their native language paying me no mind. That's partly how I figured no 3-way would come of this. I was trying to figure out if they were a couple or not, but the blond's tone seemed a bit agitated, so I couldn't figure out if the agitation was directed at the dark-haired one in some kind of way, or if the blond was just venting. Either way, for the most part, it was a chain of people ignoring each other as the dark-haired one seemed to pay the blond no attention, and the blond paid me no attention.

With the uncertainty of what they were to each other, I avoided eye contact with the dark-haired one who seemed more and more determined to get a reaction out of me. I could see him watching me with my peripheral vision, and then  - he decided to up the ante.

The dark-haired one put his right leg straight up and leaned his foot on the pole to the left of his seat. And by his continued glares at me, he wanted me to see him do this trick. Because I'm sure he knows like I, that any top or versatile gay male, and any straight guy is turned on by discovering that someone they fantasize about is flexible. So imagine how the video that played in my head when I saw that leg STRAIGHT up in the air was similar to this one:

It was a vision of me running over to him, ripping the seat of his jeans open, and also his underwear  (that is, if someone as sexually provocative as he showed himself to be would wear any), then wet his eager hole and my cock, and ram my hard-on right into his ass, while the blond and everyone else in that train car watched. Watching me make him beg for me to thrust harder into him. With me able to see his hard cock (most likely uncut) creating a bulge in his pants because he's so glad that I'm inside him. And no matter what orientation the other passengers were, they would get turned on by our loud moans showing how we didn't give a damn about them watching, because we were glad to let out that sexual tension that sparked the moment we sat in front of each other in that train car. Then that dancer-tight hole would squeeze my man-milk out of my cock and I'd spray it all over the crotch of his jeans. And I would soon discover that he's a cum-pig like myself, so he insist on going the rest of the train ride wearing my creamy white load on him for everyone to see.

Then comes the reality, where I knew that couldn't happen, so I put my head down. Because of my tiring frolicking at Suite 69, I started to nod off, and I missed seeing these guys get off the train. By the time I picked my head up, all I got to see was them walking up the stairs. This got me a tad pissed off at myself, because you never know....had I kept my eyes open, I might have gotten an invite to wear out the ass of that dark-haired one, and maybe when the blond was done venting, he would have been interested after all.

Well, it seems that each subway cruising encounter I've had seems to come closer and closer to a real out-cum. So I think it's just a matter of time before a real encounter to tell a tale about does come to fruition. Stay tuned....

Monday, December 7, 2009

Wet™ - together

A friend asked me to sample a new product from Wet™ lube. I was curious about what this new type of lube this could be, as he never gave me details. When I went to pick up the samples, it turned out being something that never crossed my mind. It's a new lube meant for couples called, Wet™ together Ultimate Pleasure Gel for Couples.

Don't get too excited just yet. There's a catch. The lube is meant for male/female couples, not necessarily gay couples. However, I was asked to try it out to see how useful it could be for a gay couple. Not such a stretch when you consider how lube does serve a different purpose for a top and bottom in a gay encounter, just as it does for a man and a woman in a straight one.

The lube for men is meant to stimulate the penis in a way that intensifies pleasure, and maybe even prolong erections, while the lube for women is meant to stimulate her clitoris. So for my first trial, I used myself as a test subject masturbating, then confirmed it by using it with someone else.

I tried the lube for men first. I followed the instruction, specifically doing it not out of horniness, but curiosity to make my findings more accurate. You see, when I jerk-off out of horniness, I don't need a stimulant like porn, but jerking-off out of curiosity, I do. So I was limp when I first put the lube, and I was getting hard without a visual stimulant, which is unlike me. Once I did put something on, I was taken back to my 1st day on a porn set doing "Oh Boy Escorts 2" when I saw Joseph Nash, and how I got a hard-on as soon as I saw him because I took a Viagra-like herbal pill (FYI - Viagra is practically a rule of thumb on porn sets nowadays). This gel was working almost the same way.

I was later surprised to discover that its effects were absorbed into my skin, enough to linger even after a few showers. Because a couple of days after, I did have sex with an actual person. The guy from "Humbling Suck, Redeeming Fuck" to be exact. If you recall that tale, then you know the sex was AWESOME. Now you know what helped. I'm just realizing it myself, because after that encounter, I was wondering what came over me to make me fuck that guy like I've never fucked anyone before. Hence the many different positions he got fucked in for so long. This lube - at least the one for men, was working.

I did try to male lube on someone else letting him use it to masturbate. Unfortunately, I left it at his place. So I later asked for him to give it back. He has yet to respond. Gee, I wonder why?

I next tried the lube for women. This shouldn't seem so odd because as I said in my presentation for "Sex Worker Literati" my being stimulated from fucking is a lot more external than internal, so anything that enhances that external stimulation is welcome in my home, and on my hole. Well, after I put on the lube, I just laid there. To the point that I forgot that I even put it on. But I was reminded by how in a few minutes, I noticed a sensation that felt like someone was gently blowing on my asshole. It made me need to jerk-off. And when I did, I found myself doing Kegels. So I started doing what I seldom do ---- I played with my hole, but this time vigorously like you see a woman plays with her clit in straight porn videos. But I realized that wasn't enough. The sensation from that lube was making me hunger for an actual entry. This then led me to even more unusual territory in masturbating - I started fingering myself, and was doing Kegels around my finger. If it was a dick, I would have been squeezing it to try and suck the cum out of the guy's cock, which is exactly what happened when in the confirmation part of my experiment (with someone). In addition, I believe this gel made the sex even more titillating than the last time I hooked up with this guy.

So does this lube work for gay couples as well? From what I gather from my initial and confirmation playtime with each lube, I should say so.

So I advise you to WET your dicks and asses with this and get ready to get off ----TOGETHER.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

My Baby Comes Home

It's been quite a while since I wrote a ballad. You see, before my getting into the porn industry, singing and songwriting was another of the talents that I was into. In fact, I was heavy into it. So in hindsight, I realize that my involvement in porn made me more prone to erotic poetry and dimminished by openess to depth and romance. Now my retirement from porn has brought me back to the complete openess to depth and romance I once had. Maybe even more so.

That is why one day I was lying on my bed wanting to write something. Something that wasn't overflowing with eroticism like the poems in my "Erotic Poetry" category. Something that instead showed my re-discovered romanticism. I just laid there for a few minutes, and started snapping my fingers, then me humming a melody shortly followed. Now what I needed was a scenario to inspire some lyrics. That's when this line from a friend's Facebook status update popped into my head. It read:

“At home alone, missing the hubby...”

Lyrics starting coming shortly after that, but I wasn't writing them down. I totally forgot that keeping words and phrases in my head to write down later is something that works only for my commentary posts. However, for me, songs and poetry are writings that if I try to postpone writing them down, I'll forget them no matter how great they are. So I jumped up and grabbed a nearby legal pad, and started writing.

The next thing I knew, within 24 hours, "My Baby Comes Home", was born.

While it's been awhile for music, I still remember to copyright my work. So please enjoy it, respecting the fact that it's mine. Thank you.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Erotic Poetry: Tales Of Your Stare

Is it just me, or is this a common scenario you've experienced as a gay man....You're on a bus or train, and a supposed straight guy is checking you out?

If you're answering "YES" already, then you need to hear this little addition to the equation....the reason you can assume he's straight is because he is sitting there with a female either on his arm, leaning on him, kissing him, or feeling him up.

Now, is "YES" your final answer? Well, guess what? It is for me. I seem to get this ALOT. I'll get on the train, and I'll feel some eyes on me. When I look up to see whose energy I'm feeling directed my way, I'll realize it's a guy who has a girl right there with him.

When I write about something, it's usually because a particular situation has happened to me one time too many for me to keep quiet about it anymore. So what sparked this writing? I''ll tell you.

It happened on one of my trips back from Fire Island this past summer. While riding the Long Island Railroad, I was talking to the guy from Dirty Boy Video that I had the tryst with, and my peripheral vision caught this guy watching me the whole time I was talking. Meanwhile, his girlfriend (or wife) is leaning on his shoulder and wrapped around his arm. This really shouldn't surprise me if I listen to my friend, Marc who lives on Long Island. For he has told me that when he has hooked up with someone who lives on Long Island, they've often wound up being straight married men on the down low. After this instance, the blogger and lyricist in me got put into action, because I needed to address this. Because while he was obviously involved with this woman, truth be told, had he been riding that train solo, and staring at me that way, I would have made myself available to him to make plans with me to ride his dick like I was on a buckin' bronco, OR get my ass fucked so hard the lower muscles in my ass cheeks would have been be feeling the power of his pounding for at least a week, because the guy was HOT. BUT since I don't go for guy who I know are monogamous and/or "straight", he lost his hotness to me shortly after. For sex with a knowingly monogamous and/or straight guy is done in masturbation fantasies only. Either party trying to make it a reality, be they the aggressor or the aggressee, is ugly to me, and I'm damn sure not about my make myself ugly.

So from that gawking by a "straight" guy, my initial mutual admiration, and the reasons why it wouldn't happen came forth these lyircs:

Tales Of Your Stare
You got a stare like a dog in heat
It’s a stare that says that you want to meet
I’m flattered to see it directed my way
So much I’m at a rare lost of what to say
To fancy you is by no means a sin
But I must refuse myself to be free to give in
As my body’s craving to surely comply
Knowing there’s a woman claiming your heart at your side

Is this a cruel game being played by fate
A bond we could never peacefully consumate?
Still I see the beauty of a night in your arms
But would that be us sacrificing ourselves to some harm
She seems so blind to the kisses you blow
That make me want to scream, claim you as mine, losing all control
You need to start sharing in what I fear -
Karma whispering valid threats in the ear

See, I won’t lie
There’s a part of me that wants you so bad
I wish we could share the same pair of pants
You in me, me in you flips all day
Flippin’ the bird to what people say
There’s a part of me that wants you so bad
I wish we would lose our pair of pants
Throbs in me, throbs in you flips all night
Flippin’ the bird to all that is right

But the fact is…

The tales of your stare
Are you not aware
Your “straight” claim is a big lie
To save your “macho-pride”
The lies to both you and to her,
Man-up, deal with their hurt
So when the truth hits the fan
You’ll earn the right to hope I’ll be your man

© 2009 The L XTreme

Monday, November 30, 2009

In Lust With....Santiago Peralta

I know of the guys I've talked about in this category so far, that many of you have guys you wish I would be motivated to talk about. And I'm sure Santiago Peralta is one of them.

So what's taken me so long is the fact that I didn't want to do a piece on him like I did with Kerry Degman where I only have an idea of the cock. I wanted to see the REAL thing before talking about how much I would love to have it in me.

At long last, I finally got a chance to see it when I ventured to a website recently and came across a nude photo of him showing full-frontal. It was a pic I've been waiting to see from the first time I saw a picture of him with those luscious lips, and that amazing ass that I fantasized about massaging as it flexes while he pumps away at me in missionary and/or doggy-style.

Now finally, I know what the dick I lust to have throbbing in my ass looks like.

Some may be disappointed by the fact that it's not hard (like you could see through the wet clothes on Jamie Dominic), but my only question for a hot guy I want to get fucked by is plain and simple------got dick?

And Santiago does have dick. Also, if I'm assuming correctly based on experience, it probably grows to show the typical traits of a Latino cock. Meaning Santiago Peralta's cock grows to be a THICK DICK. A thick uncut dick that I would love to pull back that foreskin, and lick on that extra-sensitive head, making his dick muscles contract until they contract to release his man-milk all over my face and body, and I'll clean the rest of it off his dick with my mouth. A healthy treat as I'm sure his cum is protein-enriched and creamy white.

In closing, I must thank all of the readers who have been venturing to my blog from all over the world, as my "In Lust With" posts featuring Jakub Stefano and most recently, Denis Reed, are so popular that they are still getting hits all this time after their original posting. THANK YOU. You have further established how I have the best readers in the world.

Saturday, November 28, 2009


This Thursday is the big day when my blog comes to life in a different way than the open forum I had at the LGBT Center back in March. I'm actually doing a presentation that I plan on using pictures and video the same way I use them in my blog entry at

If you're in NYC, come on down and check it out.

I'm quite honored to have been invited to be a part of this, because there are a good number of big name porn actors who live in New York City with blogs that I'm sure are more popular than mine. Now even though they are more popular than mine and, while I won't deny having occasional errors myself, I do notice they have a great many more grammatical and spelling errors and some even writing their entries like they're writing a text message, which I feel insults the readers' intelligence, and aids them in the increase in grammatical and spelling deficiency many are seeing. So this invitation let's me know that I have readers doing right by me by supporting my acknowledging their intellect. Therefore, in return I plan on doing right by my readers by bringing my blog to life as best as I possbly can.

With that in mind, I do hope to see you THERE.
So you can give me your approval, and if you can't be there, I hope you are in spirit.

Monday, November 23, 2009


Just to inform you that I'm taking a little break from blogging this week so that I can work on my presentation for next Thursday, December 3rd at

I should be back tackling issues and making you horny come next week.
So until then, enjoy the many posts here that show you my passions, my lusts, and my loves.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Humbling Suck, Redeeming Fuck

Recently, I went to Macho Mondays at Nowhere Bar here in NYC. I arrived later than planned - THANKS MTA. Once I finally got there, a couple of yards away, I saw a friend of mine talking to a cute guy. In case there was something going on there, I didn't want to intrude, so I didn't go up to this friend and say "hello" just yet.

A little later on, I started walking around the bar to avoid looking like a statue, and I wound up so close to my friend that it would have been rude of me to not say "hello", so I did. He then did the introductions between me and the cute guy, and I felt a connection to the cute guy right away. Even though the cute guy was introduced a his friend, you can never be sure unless told in exact words as to whether or not they really were friends, or was the cute guy someone he was just beginning to date, hence the introduction as "friend".

I didn't hang with them. I went to do my own thing, and gawk at the go-go boys from a distance. Especially the one who seems hell-bent on giving me a lap-dance. Truth is I want him to dance for me, but not on my lap - do a bump 'n' grind on my ass, and I'll be happier than a pig in slop. Anyway, I was standing near the bar, and the cute guy showed up.

I said, "Well, hello again."

He flashed me his child-like endearing smile, and returned a hello. He ordered his drink at the bar, and left. Some time later, he came back, and I joked with him saying, "We must stop meeting like this."

He gave me that smile again, and asked me if I was having fun. I told him I was, and asked if he was having fun. He said, "Yes", then while holding my gaze into his  beautiful blue eyes, he slowly took my hand. That led to us standing there leaning our heads against each other with that tension of wanting to kiss, but not.

He asked me where I lived, and I told him the Bronx. I return the question, and it turns out he didn't live far. We did a little small talk, and we took a breath, let our heads meet again, but this time we gave in ----and kissed. As soon as we started rubbing each other's chest, I knew at least for that night, I was his, and he was mine. And it was confirmed when our talking about where we lived, was rehashed by him extending an invitation to me to come back to his place. I accepted. He went to say goodbye to his friend. When he returned, we left the bar.

Once at his place, he wasted no time in getting undressed. So much so that I had to hurry in order to catch up. He was stripped down to his underwear, and I totally forgot that I went commando that night. So once he saw that I had no underwear on, he lost his as well.

Here's my constant dilema with being versatile - if I think about topping, I'm always wanting the other guy to be just as versatile as well, so unless we talk about who is what (top, bottom, versatile), I'm always anxious because I don't know what to desire of the other guy. This time was no different, especially because he had a nice thick cock I wanted to wrap my hole around, but also a nice plump ass I would to check the bounce of by slamming into it.

We laid on the bed and started making out. My hands could not get enough of his massaging his ass, then to be fair in sending sensation to all parts, I went down to suck his dick. Now when giving a blow-job, I've gotten used to the reaction from a guy of intense moaning and that muscle under the shaft contracting like he's about to shoot a load into my mouth at any second. So what happened next was a shock.

As he laid there, I was just sucking away, but I realized that I wasn't getting either of the aforementioned reactions. It turns out ---he fell asleep. Considering my past result from giving a blow-job, this was a bit of a blow to my sexual ego. I thought to myself, "Oh no he didn't! (in the words of Bernie Mac) This sommumabitch! He fell asleep during one of MY blow-jobs?! What the fuck!

This was a humbling moment as my initial reaction shows that I was beginning to believe that I gave a good enough blow-job that it could probably resurrect the dead. This momnent showed me that was not the case. So once I got over myself, I took note that he may have had an early day that had exhausted him. A day that didn't lessen his attraction to me, or his desire to have his horniness satisfied by me because of that attraction. So with that  and my Aries determination in mind, I was sure that I would get to have a deeper connection with that body by morning. So I cuddled with him. Going to sleep with major wood, because I went to sleep massaging his ass cheeks, and fingering around his hole.

I never slept straight through the night. I woke up occasionally and would continue playing with his ass. With each wake-up, my desire for us to fuck kept growing. That's why during one of those wake-ups, I started stroking his cock. Being how I love nature, and how the mind works, I was turned on to feel his dick getting hard in my hand while he was in a deep sleep.

When he finally woke up, he was all over me with our morning woods rubbing between us. Part of what was contributing to my morning wood was because I could feel that he was about to redeem himself from the night before. And he did.

At one point, with me laying on my back, he straddled me. He reached over into a drawer on the side of the bed and got out a condom and lube. Well, I found out his position once he started to put the condom on my dick, and lube up his ass. He guided my dick inside him, and it was so nice and tight. I laid there and started pumping into him with him moaning, "Oh yeah, fuck me!"
As much as I loved the feel of his soft ass cheeks cushioning against my groin, and his thick cock bobbing up and down in sync with my thrust into him, I wanted to really fuck him. So I turned him on his back staying inside him, and fucking him missionary. Now what top can really rate themselves? Exactly, none. But I will say that I must have done something right because his dick was hard the whole time I was fucking him. I later put him on his side, then on his stomach. This really turned me on to see how much his ass bounced by me banging into him. Which led me to go for doggy style, which he seemed to like most, and evidently so did my dick, because not only did I come, BUT I kept fucking him for a little bit more after until my slowly deflating cock fell out to a point where I knew I couldn't get it back in.

We laid there and he asked if I wanted some more, probably unaware that I came. And of course I did, but I decided to ask for what I haven't had yet ----his dick in my ass. So I responded with, "No. I'd much rather ride your dick."

He got out another condom, and I lubed up my ass, and slowly tried sliding down onto his thick dick, and had to add more lube because I was back to my mighty tight self. This time, when I slide onto his dick, I still could feel the tightness, but I wanted him so much that I went right to riding his dick HARD. Can you say, "Hurt So Good"? He came, and I kept him inside me for a little bit longer, as I love the feel of a man's cock throbbing in my ass while shooting his load to the very last drop of cum is released.

We got in the shower with me showering first. By the time he entered I was pretty much done, so because of my kink for wet bodies I pretty much spent our time together in the shower watching the water and soap suds run off of him, and going down that sweet slope that is his ass. Once out of the shower, we got dressed. When he got in his underwear, his ass looked so hot in them that if we both didn't have plans for the day, I would have definitely fucked him good and hard again right then and there. Well after the redeeming piece of ass he gave me already....that would have been a bonus ;-)

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

"Press Is Press" - A Cry For Help

A few months ago, I went to a NY Jock Party, and saw Diesel Washington. He said that he had a bone to pick with me. He never told me what, and I know I never said anything offensive about him, so I brushed it off, and had my fun for the night. Then the day after Hustlaball, when I went to View Bar in NYC, where Diesel was one of the guest, I found out what his bone to pick with me was.

It seems that he was bothered by me using him as an example without informing him of it when I speak of the racism in the gay porn industry and how they act like the only image of a hot black male is big, dark-skinned, buffed, and quite often bald. I knew from the moment he spoke that there was nothing offensive about what I said. It's a reality, and if you benefit from it, just acknowledge that you benefit from it. If I said the he revels in it, then he might have had a right to be offended. Even while knowing I said nothing offensive, I still took time to listen. I have so much going on that it tooks days to process, then I realized I did nothing wrong.

With that in mind, I sent Diesel an email explaining all this, and how while he claims to be so much more than that image, it was not the focus of my posts, nor is it my job to promote that, just as I don't expect him to do it for me. That is, if such is the case, because the fact is he furthers that image of the "mandingo" as the only black male in every narrow-minded gay white American.

In response, I got this long-winded email from him claiming how my blogs make me sound "jaded and bitter". Why would I be jaded and bitter? I'm not the one who in a recent post was complaining about how he can't just unwind at a sex party - Diesel is. I'm not the one complaining about how he's "jaded about relationships", but Diesel is. Any mental health professional will confirm that such complaints from Diesel show that he is a prisoner of his own celebrity. It's the usual case of someone saying "you're this and you're that", when the finger really should be pointed in their mirror.

So whose "jaded and bitter"? Not me, especially since my retirement, I no longer have the complaints Diesel has. For since retiring, I've been dating more than I've dated during my entire time in the porn industry. Dating guys who know of my porn past, my non-apologetic attitude for that past, and the still sexually-free nature that allowed it, with the icing on the cake being the intellect and standards that I'm not afraid to show, because I won't lower myself to playing a fool's game. I'm just the one calling a spade a spade, and taking solace in that, and many people have been respecting me for it, with even more people respecting me now. And with a fan-base of actual thinkers, instead of a bunch of dim-witted White American creatures of habit, I have every reason to have the smile on my face that I now have. For the actual thinkers are the ones I want knowing my name.

Any loyal reader to this blog knows that the mood shifts constantly. Today a serious topic, a couple of days later - a sex tale, or one week -dealing with issues, the next week - sexual fantasies. I have always maintained a balance. So another one of Diesel's claims from his email about how I'm always attacking someone is nothing more than him buying into the image that sites like The Sword, Unzipped, and Fleshbot have painted of me as suffering from ABMS (Angry Black Man Syndrome), because I have often tipped these sites off to my blog posts of lighter fair, but they practically never mention them. And if they do, they try insulting me in the process, which lessens its sex appeal. Yet they mention such tales from white performers with just occasional insult. So if I attack these sites, I have every justifiable reason to do so. There is an obvious bias in their so-called reporting.

Also, in his email, while I insisted on keeping this matter between us private so that we wouldn't give the racist hypocrites in gay porn media ammo to say how blacks don't stick together. He kept baiting me at least 3 times to post it in a blog. Rather than play to his infantile cry for attention, I decided that if he mentions it at all, then I'll make out disagreement public here.

Like the saying goes of keeping your friends close, but keep your enemies closer, I kept occasionally checking his blog to make sure he was keeping quiet (hence how I got the previous links on his blog), as while I made it clear I didn't want to make this disagreement public and spreading over the blog-o-pshere (as I've grown secure enough to not need such attention), his baiting me showed that he wanted the attention, so he needed to be watched. And it came one day, when I saw on his blog that he mentioned names of who he had blog wars with, and I was one of the names he mentioned. I thought to myself, "No he did not include me in that". For (1) it wasn't a blog war, and (2) if it was asked to be kept private for the good reason I believe I gave, then a mature adult would have agreed and kept it as such, instead of trying to make it seem like this infantile battle with me over his stereotypical porn ego was some war wound to brag about.

Because of that mention of my name, in a post on MOC Blog about him, I wrote this comment:

After my recent email exchange with Diesel Washington (one that I tried to keep private while he's making public), I've come to realize that people don't assume he's an idiot because he does porn. It's because he sides with the very people who are part of the problem, and never challenges them to be part of the solution. People like Unzipped Magazine and The Sword.

He saw this, and this past Thursday, he wrote a post about me. One that because of all I have going on, I didn't discover until this week. In it, he called me a Contributing Editor of MOC Blog. I'm sure this was an attempt to make me look weak for puting my response to him in a comment, instead of an entire post. Well that can be easily explained. For (1) I make it my business to never take a title that is not mine, and Contributing Editor of MOC Blog is NOT my title, it is as a Contributing WRITER. Therefore, if I write anything, it has to get Victor Hoff's OK to get posted, and (2)I never suggested writing a post about Diesel, because I was not about to waste Victor's web space on Diesel Washington's cry for attention. Furthermore, the situation didn't warrant an entire blog post. The combination of events (like these), and my nipping them in the bud - maybe, but not that one instance. Once again, the pornstar ego's cry for attention. And with all of my recent creative endeavors, I posted in blog posts, tweets, and Facebook updates, I have no desire to waste my time and perfectionist nature on satisfying his ego.

So why am I writing this post, while it gives Diesel the attention he craves so much? Because (1)while Diesel is attemtping to make me look bad, he's making MOC Blog look bad as well by claiming I have a higher title than I actually have with MOC Blog. And to believe such a false claim of my position with MOC Blog can make readers lose respect just as I lost respect for Unzipped because of Zach Sire's racial insensitivity, and I lost respect for The Sword for promoting Paul Bookstaber with his unprofessional antics. And my feeling is that you can say what you want about me, but leave my friends out of it, and (2) most importantly, to show how unlike his attack on me, which is a bunch of conjured-up tales to big himself up, I am delivering the facts of what happened and what any mental health professional can confirm as the reason for his actions. So I'll give Diesel attention, but not positive attention. And if he's foolish enough to believe in that saying of "press is press", then that's his cry for help to deal with, not mine.

I was advised by a good friend to just let this go, because it's all about ego. Now I can assure you that my ego is not bruised. For once I left the porn industry, I decided to conduct my online presence in confrontations the same way I conduct them in the real world. That method being that when a verbal confrontation arises, I say what I have to say, turn my back, and walk away - because when I'm done speaking, that's the end of the conversation, and in my eyes, the end of you. And that is why Diesel's 2nd reply email was deleted UNREAD, as it was me closing the matter privately. And now, due to the aforementioned provocation of including someone else, no matter what he or any goonies says in return, I am publicly saying my piece on the matter, therefore this is the end of this matter.

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