Evolution of My Topping

After losing my virginity in 2002, I was a total bottom for about 2 years. Always knowing that eventually I would become versatile, but for the moment, I was a total bottom, and okay with that. That is why I always tells customers in the sex shop to be patient with themselves for whatever their goal may be.

Once I started topping, I always said that after 2 years of being a total bottom that in my versatility I am a much better bottom than top. No matter what percentage of being a top or bottom I was, even when my versatility reached 50/50, and a good number of playmates praising me as a top, I still felt my skill set made me a much better bottom.

I recently had 2 encounters with which I saw myself becoming more confident in my topping skills. An evolution, if you will. The signs of this evolution might not seem obvious at first, but I will explain how so, and why it is for the better later.

The first incident happened at The Cock. I was behind a curtain, and this guy was sucking me off. Right next to me was a short hottie that I've played with before. As he watched me get my cock sucked, he laid on his back on the bench while playing with his hole. The blowjob was pretty good, but watching that short hottie play with his hole made me rock hard, and needing to be engulfed by not a mouth, but the 98.6 degree and rising warmth of a hungry bottom's ass tunnel.

The past times I topped the short hottie, he assumed the position to be topped doggy style. Being the ass-man that I am, that made it easier to get turned on, start fucking him, and keep fucking him. This time however, seeing him in position to bottom in missionary made me want him right away. My craving wasn't to look at his ass while inside it. No, it was solely about being inside him. Seeing the beauty of his ass was no longer a crutch to get me hard and keep me hard. Just the thought of being inside him in any position was all I needed.

Before I'm called a hypocrite regarding Rule #5 in my rules of blowjob etiquette, I initially was planning to give my dick to the guy giving me a blowjob. But he was sucking me for so long that he seemed like sucking my cock was all he wanted to do. A man that is going to be worth my interest knows to do as I do - stop sucking to check on his playmate to see if he eventually wants that cock made hard by a cocksucker so it can go in his cocksucker's ass, like it should be. This guy never checked in with me for that. He was sucking me for all eternity and I was getting bored by it. As I mentioned before, he sucked it pretty good, but he never offered his asshole. My playmate from my past laying on the bench next to me did offer his asshole.

I went in my pouch and got out some lube to put on my cock. I then slid my cock inside him and started pounding with so much passion. A degree of a passion I've done while topping doggy style, but never in missionary. The more he moaned in pleasure. The more I touched his bare skin not covered by his harness and jockstrap. The more I wrapped my arms around him to go deeper inside him. It all made me not want to stop. But I did stop, so I wouldn't come. Because I have a feeling that if I did come, I would not have stopped. I would have probably shot a raw load in his ass, and kept pumping so I could try and shoot another. Fucking him so long that the lights would come on in the bar because of it nearing closing time.

The other instance happened at a Milk Chocolate NYC party.

I had already topped from behind while standing this sexy guy who was around my height. The entire time I thrusted into the soft cheeks of his ass, as much as I loved looking down to see those cheeks squeeze with my every inward thrust, I wanted him on his back. So I could look in his eyes right below those sexy eyebrows.

Later on in the night, he and a guy that he and I both had bottomed for earlier were sitting on a sofa in the space. Another guy put his legs up and started fucking the hottie. This put the thought back in my head of how much I wanted to look in his eyes while my cock is inside that amazing ass. Then the other guy stopped. So my chance opened up. And when this hottie saw my hard cock eager to get in him again, he opened his ass up along with that chance.

I got on my knees and put my hard cock inside him, with his legs leaning on my shoulders. He lit up the deeper I went in. And when I started pumping into him, he lit up even more. Maybe because my cock was also swelling from feeling his body hair and playing with his big dick. In any case, his being pleased was undeniable for me to see because I was looking right into his eyes.

So how do these 2 occurrences show that I am evolving in my topping skills?

I have long been saying that sex is not just a physical connection, but also a spiritual connection. The latter is one many gay males try to deny. Hence why doggy-style is the most common position at a sex party or backroom. For both connections exist even in a backroom/sex party tryst, and doggy-style, while a great position for a top to view the ass he is pumping into, it also helps a top avoid looking into his sex partner's eyes, which are windows to the soul.

With that said, those 2 encounters with me craving, then being a top in missionary shows me evolving because before then, my spiritual connection that I said was part of sex was obtained in my mind, but less obtained by our sexual position. Therefore, giving no guarantee as to whether or not the spiritual connection that was obtained before the sex was truly maintained during the sex. By me topping in missionary, a more intimate position, I have now evolved to obtaining that spiritual connection by more physical and definite means. A position where my playmate and I look each other in the eyes. Where we can see the beauty of healthy lust, and ask for more. Or see its ugliness and part ways soon after.

Since in addition to being horny, I need to vibe with positive sexual energy from the person(s), I believe the lust we'll have will most definitely be the beauty of healthy lust.

Open Letter To A Jealous Cunt From The Cock

The other night at The Cock, I ran into a guy I've made out with a couple of times before there. He told me that after our last meeting, a guy that he had never met before came up to him right after I left and said to him, "That guy you were with... He has AIDS."

So the following is my open letter response to whomever this guy is who said that about me...

Dear Jealous Cunt From The Cock,

I understand you told a playmate of mine that I have AIDS. To correct you, I do not have AIDS. I am HIV+. And to top it off, I am undetectable, and have been for a number of years now. So I am untrasmittable, and probably much to your chagrin, nowhere near death due to HIV, AIDS, or any other disease for that matter. For also probably much to your chagrin, I am in great health.

Perhaps you said that I had AIDS without knowing about my publicly revealing my HIV+ status. If such is the case, then you're just an envious asshole.

However, if you did tell that lie because of coming across my online revelation, then you're not only an asshole. You're also a fucking idiot.

For like I said, I publicly revealed my HIV+ status already. I uploaded a video to my Vimeo, then shared it via my Facebook & Twitter, posted a snippet on my Instagram account, wrote a post about that revelation on my blog, and recently made it an ongoing series with an article on KinksterMag. So even if I didn't tell him about my status at that time, which I did not, I had already put it in enough places online that it was only a matter of time before he found out. Whether by my revealing it to him directly, or his discovering it by chance.

With that said, I must say THANK YOU.

For you maliciousness gave me the opportunity to reveal to him the truth of my status. The reason I hadn't said anything to him thus far about my being HIV+ is because for me, one of the gifts of being undetectable is that my HIV+ status is no longer on the forefront of my mind in my social meetings. I take my medication everyday, and it is no longer a weight weighing on my mind. I drink, but don't get drunk. Nor do I do do drugs. So I am not doing anything that can be counterproductive to my HIV treatment.

That is why as I turn 48 this Sunday, I can look this good, and be healthier than many 20 and 30-somethings who drink excessively and do drugs. Here is a recent picture to remind you:

Now, the ignorance and internal ugliness that it took for you to make such a statement about me to a stranger makes one question if you can say the same as I about your alcohol and/or drug intake. Were you drunk? Were you high?

Actually,... who gives a fuck?! Whether you are substance-free of not, your action was a clear display of your ENVY. Your UGLY SOUL. You being CUNTy.

Whether you were lusting for me, or lusting for my playmate, you lost your shot at both. For if you at some point wanted me, this has definitely sealed your fate that there will never be a "we" between you and me. And my playmate's reaction to your actions shows he has no interest in you either.

Hence why FYI -  He and I are still cool.

So next time you want to try a move like this, I strongly advise you to not only get your facts straight. But make sure I never learn who you are.

You see, if your story was created by reading my blog at all, then out of your maliciousness, you have conveniently ignored the history of my blogging. One that has a history of putting gay bars, clubs, media sites, porn studios, porn actors, and their  managers on blast by name for their ignorance against me and/or one or more of my communities. So you are not safe from being dealt the same if I ever learn who you are.

The only thing saving you from being put on blast with photos and links to your social media now is the fact that my playmate did not point you out to me. And I think he's nice enough not to. But if he ever does, you had better pray that I don't know you well enough by name and/or face. Otherwise, everyone will know by name how hideous you are on the inside, which in many's eyes will make its way to the outside. That is if it hasn't already.

So your best bet to avoid a more public well-deserved public shaming that this open letter is show yourself, and come to me like a man with an honest apology. Have a good day.

I Can Sell Your Dick Better Than Any Pornstar

After midnight on Friday, I wrote this post on my former Facebook page:

After riding the Latino's beautiful cock, we parted ways. I then went and sat on a stool at the bar. Not too long after though, I could see from there that a go-go boy was trying to give the Latino a lap dance. The lap dance might have even led to some fucking over there. But it was definitely the case in an area behind a curtain closer to the bar, as I went for a closer look.

Trust me, my need to go in closer was not jealousy of any kind. My need to investigate was because I suspected a trend. The trend I stated in the caption of the Instagram pic below:

View this post on Instagram

Over the past few months, I have had not 1, not 2, but 3 instances when I'm bottoming with a hottie in a #gaybar backroom, and the #gogoboy witnessing it needs to be next. Since my verbal and physical reactions were the most noticeable parts of the encounter, it was literally my #ass that sold those #gogoboys on straying from their job to try getting a taste of what I was enjoying. And for Gogo #1, that's continued straying. And you probably thought only #bottoming #gaypornstars could sell you on a top's #cock. A blog post on "L's X-Ray Vision" will soon give more details. * #gaynightlife #backroom #jealousy #envy #sexualwhiteentitlement #racisminthegaycommunity #sexualracism

A post shared by LeNair Xavier (@lenairxavier71) on Feb 28, 2019 at 7:53pm PST

So this was the 3 time such a thing has happened in the past 4 or 5 months. It's common for fellow patrons in a sex party/backroom to scramble to be the next one to ride on the dick that just pleased you because your ass pleased him. But it's another social disorder present when that many go-go boys do the same thing in such a span of time.

What's wrong is that their behavior reaffirms my observations from over 7 years ago. About how today's go-go boys don't stick to being solely eye candy. And while most go-go boys are millennials, many let their horniness be governed by the narcissism and sense of entitlement numerous articles have shown that millennials have come to be known for. A work ethic is not as much in their performance as it should be, or as they might claim it is.

I'm sure this next suspicion is going to cause some of you to say, "Oh, here he goes with that again!", But the fact is many white and light-complexioned males have long tried to either be the "next and better" sex partner, or out right steal a playmate from a person of color. Yes, they play the same game with other white/light complexioned people. However, every medium to dark complexioned Black, Latino, or Middle Easterner, and Asian reading this has probably experienced this at some point, and a good deal more often.

Case in point:

At the after party that inspired my Thotyssey article, "Fetch My Drugs, Fetch My Fuck", I was the sole Black guy invited. Always having a White/light Latino playmate. When one guest would start playing with someone who came as part of a pair or grouping, all of the members of that initial pair or grouping was always added to being played with, but they were all either white or light skinned Latino. But when one of the guest tried playing with the guy my +1 (since I was the one initially invited), they tried acting like I wasn't even in the room.

Luckily, it never erupted into a conflict because the playmates I brought there were loyal enough to me to not leave me out, and tried including me when the white/light guy wouldn't bother. Looking back, I wonder does that have to do with them being European. Because I have not had such a high percentage of loyalty from American white males. But that's another topic.

My point is that all of these go-go boys are either white American or Latino. So it's only natural that they would be suspected of that same self-serving mindset. Especially by being a go-go boy, many looked upon as sex gods, and they know it. 

If this is not the case with all 3, it is definitely the case with Go-go Boy #1. For while I was bottoming for the guy he wanted, he was actually trying to chat away with my top to get him away from me. This just goes to show that you can give a white boy (even one with a big dick) a gig that portrays him as a sex god, but he can still exhibit the racist white male insecurity towards a Black male's sexuality.

For no man is a sex god, whatever color he may be. And no matter what media hype tells us, the deepest part of our conscience knows that limitation to be true.

Now, let's address the title of this article. It's because when you think about it, most fans of penetrating male porn actors are sold on that male not by his actions solely, if at all. They are more sold on that male porn actor by the reactions of the person they are performing sex acts on/with.

In my cases:

#1 was a combo of him thrusting into my ass from behind, and me thrusting on his dick;

#2 was mostly me riding the guy's dick, and;

#3 was me solely riding the guy's dick.

So the majority of action and reaction that made these go-go boys strive for a turn came from me. Therefore, it was my ass and my top's reaction to my ass that sold those go-go boys on my playmate's cock to the point that they wanted to be next in line. Much like a penetrated pornstar, but better than a penetrated pornstar because I didn't need to get paid in order to do it. It was a natural sexual chemistry leading to my natural fun expressed. 

It is definitely an ego boost to realize that the way I fuck, in this case, as a bottom, that I can make even the guys portrayed as sex gods want the playmate that I had obtained. And it may be a degree of envy involved. For those go-go boys' trysts after mine came more so from them dancing on that box. A perch for them to be noticed. Meanwhile, my trysts with those playmates came simply from me being in the room... at floor level like my playmates. Knowing recognition is a possibility, but not seeking it when they approached me. 😁😎😉😘

10 Seconds More, Then Fisted

Hanging out on the little stage in the basement of The Cock, I met a guy. After exchanging glances we gravitated towards each other. We started making out. As the making out progressed to us feeling each other up through our clothes, then digging down each other's pants in a dark corner, sex seemed to a definite expectation that night.

In our feeling each other up, he went for both my dick and ass just as much as I went for his. So I decided to do what I always do with a guy, even if he focuses more on my back than my front, or vice versa. I asked him if he was a top, bottom, or versatile.

It's unfortunate how the ignorant sexual roles based on color/ethnicity and body weight/height imposed upon us in the gay community by gay media forms made me fear I wouldn't trust him once he answered. For he was white, shorter than me, and our feel-up session informed my hand that he had an ass to die for on that smaller frame of his. So the racist sexpectations of me that I've experienced so many times before had me prepared for him to say that he was a bottom.

Instead, he said he was versatile (like me), but (unlike me) more of a top. From that moment, he didn't earn my complete trust in his character, but he earned a hell of a lot more than a white guy of any height saying he was a bottom. Because at least I knew by confessing to me he was more of a top, I knew for certain that he wasn't another gay white male taught by porn as to what a Black male's role should be during an interracial sexual encounter.

Some of you reading this are probably thinking that by bringing this up that I'm exasperating the racism. Such accusations come from 2 types of people:

1. non-blacks who refuse to understand and;
2. blacks who falsely validate their sex appeal by an interracial sexual encounter. Lowering themselves to becoming complacent in allowing those non-blacks to continue to not understand.

The fact is that I've seen the effect gay porn has had on our sexual expectations based on such "-isms" as racism and ageism, and I refuse to live in silence about its effect on my sex life. Because if I don't realize this consciously, then it becomes a catalyst for the subconscious uber-aggressive, brutal topping that too many ignorant black males do to appease non-blacks taught by porn.


But I necessarily digress.

After he told me he was more of a top, I lit up. Because that's actually what I wanted from him. We continued making out for a bit. Then went back upstairs to the bar for a drink. He then extended an invitation back to his place to which I graciously accepted.

We got back to his place. He asked if I wanted something to drink. I chose water. He stepped out and came back. After a quick sip, we immediately stripped off our clothes. I saw that fit physique of his in his underwear, and it only made me want his body to connect with mine even more. For his dick to be a key, and my asshole to be the keyhole by which entry of his key can unlock my horniness and his.

We started making out, and he put me on his bed. We continued making out, then he asked a question that threw me for a bit. He asked, "Do you like to get fisted?"

In my blogging over the years, I have put up much fuss as to how out of love for my tight hole, I would never try it. Then I remembered an interracial couple that lived in Harlem where each of them tried fisting me, and only got up to their knuckles. But through them I began to change my tune.

For I started realizing that I allowed them to get that far because I was so into them that I wanted their bodies inside mine in every way possible. So from that point on, I knew someday, I would get completely fisted. But that night was not the night.

So I thought that this night was going to be the night. Because I was that intensely into him. So to answer his question, I told him, "Not completely. But I'm willing to let you try."

And he did, He lubed up his hand heavily. He tried going in, and at first, only got as far as the couple in Harlem. He then offered me some poppers. Breaking my long-standing anti-poppers rule, I must confess that I took him up on his offer. And trust me, I am not proud that I did.

My head felt the usual light-headedness that I've come to know (and loathe) even by a contact high from poppers. However, even though I took a huff, I was still determined to prove the point I made in all of my anti-poppers articles. I then took a deep breath, and he started moving his hand around inside me. I had no idea as to how deep inside he was. However deep it was though, it did feel good. And this was not the high from the poppers talking because by the time I acknowledged the pleasure I was feeling, the high from the poppers had worn off.

Then it suddenly became too much. So I had him stop. I could see in his beautiful light eyes that he wanted to keep going, but he did what a real man would do. He listened to me listening to my body and stopped.

Afterwards, I asked him how far had he gotten inside me. It felt like he was all the way in, and while he was doing it, I saw none of his hand. So I asked to be sure. He said, "Another 10 seconds, and I would have been all the way in."

It wasn't what I expected to hear, but I was still both shock and disappointed at the same time. It's because I see now that I am capable of allowing someone to try fisting me IF my sexual attraction to them is intense enough. So I now do hope to try that again sometime.

I also learned that even if a full-on fisting doesn't happen, the attempt alone makes me horny as fuck for that fist to be immediately replaced by my playmate's cock. So we gave that a try. My playmate took off his underwear, and I could see his reflection in the window. So I was ready to look at a live porn show starring my playmate and my ass.

Unfortunately, my playmate drank too much and was unable to perform. And I was not at all mad. Disappointed, yes. But not mad. For he seemed completely sober. It was just a case where whiskey dick didn't hit during the initial act to cause excitement. It hit numerous acts to cause excitement. A situation I have experienced myself after a drink or 2 and intense foreplay. Especially on an empty stomach.

So we didn't fuck... That night.

A few weeks later, we ran into each other at a gay bar. With gay male's bad reputation for thinking of their playmates as disposable from life and memory, I expected him to not remember me if he saw me. It turns out he did remember me. Greeting me when he saw me. And from that we started making out again. This time, we didn't wait. We found a corner in the backroom, he undid his pants, and I immediately went down on him. While I was sucking his dick, I undid my pants and reached into my pouch and lubed my ass. Perfect timing. Because once he got rock hard, he picked me up, and turned me around with a quickness. Snatched down my pants. Put a spit lube on his cock, and put it in my ass.

He thrusted away at my hole. I reached back a few times to squeeze his nice ass as it flexed while he plowed into me. I grinded my ass on his cock a few times also because when I bottom, I am not a lazy bottom. There were guys watching this, but they were of no concern. However, my always multi-tasking mind did realize something about the crowd that was wrong, but too familiar.

With racism in the gay community being alive and well, the initial optics of this gorgeous shorter White man putting, then thrusting his eager cock inside a slightly taller Black man with an equally eager hole stunned many enough to make them look. But just for a moment. For many of the white guys, once the sexual racism ingrained in their so-called minds made them realize they were seeing something that "broke the rules", they left. So in my haze from the pleasure of my playmate's dick in my ass, I noticed that we were surrounded by mostly men of color.

I didn't really give a damn about whether the crowd watched or not. As far as I'm concerned, as in all my public sexual escapades, the mood to fuck hit me and a hot guy in a space I could release the tension, so I took advantage of the space and time. Whether or not people are there, or if they watch is not a necessity to make me do what I do. Therefore voyeurs are of no concern to me for the sex to be satisfying.

And speaking of satisfying, my playmate thrusted in my hole until I felt those throbs of a man's cock that I love to feel when bottoming. He shot his raw load into my ass. So I finally got that ass pounding from him that I had been craving since the night he was just 10 seconds away from completely fisting me.

So now, I'm wondering when I will experience that full-on fisting. If it happens, that next time I am determined to do it without the slightest bit of poppers. For I allowed myself to stray from my rules once, but it will not be a constant thing. Because within my loathing for hypocrisy, I view poppers as a hazardous crutch. So if I can't get fisted without poppers, then I am not meant to be fisted.

He Was Wearing A Bootie Ring

One night at The Cock, I saw this cute couple. At first, I wasn't sure what they were to each other. Something in their energy did make me conclude that they were a couple. A couple that I soon I realized was checking me out.

I didn't instantly show interest, or make my shy self available for approach by them. In fact, the reason why explains why I rarely do either. It's a reason mostly people of a certain color, ethnicity, or age will understand.

You see, I'm well aware that some guys, especially young white males and light Latinos, will try to get the attention of medium to dark people of color, all to reject them when the medium to dark complexioned person makes a move responding to the eye contact. And with gays in couples, some play this game with guys of any color just to see if they as individuals, separate from their partner, "still got it".

So with one of them being a light Latino and the other being a shade or 2 lighter than me, I had my suspicions about their motives. So I did not respond to their stares.

We wound up getting close because we all went in the bathroom. There were a bunch of guys playing around in there. When I walked in, the couple was already playing with someone. Since I wasn't focusing on them, I have no idea as to why, or at what point that playtime stopped. They were about to leave the bathroom, then the lighter one stopped when he saw me. He immediately started making out with me. His partner joined in. I had no idea if one was a top, one was a bottom, or if both were versatile. Something in his energy however made me feel the darker one was a top, and as the playing continued, it even more so solidified that suspicion. I don't know if he was a total top or versatile top. Whatever the case, he was my favorite type of top. For he had no problem with me groping his ass.

This left me to try figuring out the preferred position of his partner. Well, he seemed quite focused on my cock. For while kissing, he slipped his hand down my pants. In return, I slipped my hand down his. As I went down with my strokes on his growing nice-sized cock, I felt a very thin cockring at the base of his shaft. At first, I thought it was the cheap and flimsy 50 Shades of Grey vibrating cockring. That thought made the sex toy consultant in me surface enough to give him an internal side eye wondering why he chose such a cheap, flimsy, and ineffective sex toy. Nevertheless, I still enjoyed playing with his dick. So in tickling around the base of his shaft and touching that thin cockring, I then went to tickle his balls. That's when I discovered that the round bullet and battery compartment I expected to find was not there. Instead, there was a piece leading under his taint (perineum) that was thicker than the cockring. So whatever this guy was wearing, it was not the 50 Shades of Grey cockring.

I let my finger follow the trail on this newly discovered piece of this cockring. I then realized that the trail went not just partly, but under his entire taint. So far that the trail led to his butt-hole. That's when I realized that he wasn't just wearing a cockring. He was wearing a Bootie Ring by Fun Factory.

This discovery almost made me bring my job of Customer Assistant at a sex shop interfere with my sex play. For I wanted to lean in and whisper in his ear to ask, "Are you wearing a Bootie Ring?", but to not break up the hot action, I decided against it.

Instead, I took advantage of what I know about a Bootie Ring. Such as how the curved butt-plug's purpose is to stimulate the prostate. So I brought my hand back and started again from right behind his balls, massaged the trail to play with his taint, and when I reached the bottom of the butt-plug, I started rocking it back and forth. That made him start moaning. I'm sure some thought him tooting his ass out while I did this was because I was just fingering his hole with my finger. When the truth is that probably only his partner and myself knew what exactly I was doing to make him start moaning like that. 😉

I then went down on him, and started sucking his cock. He enjoyed it so much that he, as it has happened many times before, he picked me up from my bended knee because he felt if I kept going that he was going to give me a mouth full of cum. Which in the words of Jerry Seinfeld... "Not that there's anything wrong with that."

He rewarded me for all this by giving me a fantastic blowjob. Based on the many past disappointing blowjobs I've received, if he wasn't already taken, he could have easily made me bypass dating, and go straight to marriage. Partly because this hottie definitely stroked my male ego. For out of all the hot cocks in that circle of voyeurs that took a break from me to suck on at some point, he kept coming back to mine. As to make mine his goal to suck to the point I'd gush.

To be honest, jizz gushing out of my cock never happened. However, had it not been for the negative energy from those living vicariously through us, he damn sure would have succeeded.

This guy reminded me of someone. And if you've followed this blog long enough, then you know that I have a history of (merely by chance) either hooking up with, or being admired by mainstream celebrity and pornstar doppelgangers. Case in point, I've played with look-alikes of: former gay pornstar Mason Wyler; straight male pornstars Johnny Sins and Charles Dera; Olympic swimming champion Michael Phelps; and have been admired by a look-alike of Kristen Bell. And now,...

I've exchanged blowjobs and played with the butt-hole of a look-alike of Raphael de la Fuente.

You might best know him from playing on the first 2 seasons of "Empire" as Michael Sanchez, the then-boyfriend of Jamal Lyon (Jussie Smollett's character). So yes, I still have great taste in who I play with.

I have to give that couple props for thinking to do this though. For I have seen many couples come to The Cock, and get into arguments because one member of the couple allowed someone outside the relationship to do something to one of them that was not allowed in their perceived agreement. Well, in this case, this couple took the proper steps to avoid an un-agreed upon fuck to happen.

Being that smart, I would definitely love to meet them again and have a very much agreed upon fuck.

Sexy Party Review - High + Tight: The 2nd Coming

Sex parties to celebrate Gay Pride! Not at all a new concept. And not at all an unwarranted one. After all, one of the aspects of Gay Pride to be free to have sex with whichever gender you want without persecution.

With that however, comes a responsibility to each other. Such as not behaving in a way to make your fellow man feel less than. Especially, over a natural occurrence such as skin color. Well, it seems like the most white and light Latinos at High + Tight: The 2nd Coming didn't get that memo.

At first, I thought it was just me. For everyone who is often approached and flirted with has an off night, and vice versa. But I felt an ugly energy in the air there. The ugly energy of sexual racism. An ugly energy I forgot about feeling at the last High + Tight party because it was such awhile back. So this night  caused a flashback.

However, since I didn't want to be right about my criticism, because that was then, and this is now, I used the one tactic that would prove me right, even though I wanted to be proven wrong... I looked at other Black males in the room to see how they were fairing.

I disappointingly discovered they were also being rejected. To be more exact, Blacks and Asians there were about 95% of the time either treated like they were invisible, or they were used as ego-boosting strokers and fluffers, then discarded. But seldom did anyone have sex with a Black guy there.

Such a case was this skinny white guy with glasses. I kept feeling myself being watched. I turned around to see a husky Black guy giving a blowjob to this skinny white guy. The feeling of being watched was because the white guy was looking at me while getting his blowjob. Besides my being bothered by how I was being gawked at while they're getting a blowjob from someone else, Something still felt off. So I went closer to him. Once I got closer. He tried acting like I wasn't there. So it was all a ploy. He had a Black guy on his dick, and another Black guy he felt he drew in. So he was using us 2 Black guys to stroke his ego. This was something I saw among the patrons at High + Tight: The 2nd Coming A LOT!

While it's an ugly ploy, it is an understandable one from these creatures. As I said in a recent comment to an article on NewNowNext, many gay white males are incredibly insecure. Not a surprise when you're put on a man-made pedestal, especially a racist one. You make every other color feel "less than" so they won't contend with you always being in fear of falling off that pedestal. However, the white guilt of life on that pedestal makes those controlling media make us Blacks into sexual superheroes. This doesn't excuse or lessen the ugliness of using someone solely to stroke their ego out of some racist jealousy. So let's leave Karma to deal with them on that.

This idea of using someone of a certain color, ethnicity, and/or body type only as a stroker or fluffer, but not as a sexual prospect is an ugly common practice among those endorsed as epitomes of beauty by gay media, porn, and nightlife. That means white, light-skinned Latinos, and gymrat blacks. With the commonality of which color does it most often being in that order. Seeing many white guys do this is over and over and over again at NY Jock Party/GBU events is why I stopped going there. So if High + Tight promoters that get their shit together, they will be the next party I suggest being on my Miss List.

In short, such behavior at High & Tight shows its name should be changed to "Racist & White". Therefore, instead of it having a "2nd coming", it should have stayed gone.


Well, I'm glad to say that the next night I went to CumUnion. And based on my experience there...

CumUnion picked up where High + Tight fucked up!!!

For early on, unlike at High & Tight, I saw guys of all sizes and colors getting action at CumUnion. Sure, there were some who were still assholes. In fact, I saw a few guys from that High + Tight party at this CumUnion party. But overall, this crowd showed itself to have someone for everyone. And in a city as diverse as New York City, such a crowd shows that a promoter is doing their job. They're not catering to their little clonish clique with a Pre-Civil Right Movement color approval rating as to what is sexy. An attitude that was all too evident at High + Tight. Hence why I wrote this Facebook post that Saturday:


With that said, the promoters of High + Tight have a lot of work to do. For starters, being open-minded enough to learn and know that in a mecca of diversity like NYC, and at a diversity-inviting space The Cock has grown into, one should create a  party that is all inclusive. Not limiting your crowd to being only the porn clones and colors you want to fuck. If you want that party, keep it in the close-mindedness of your home, or the lacking diversity of your hometown, but...

NOT IN A PARTY SPACE IN MY CITY!!! Thank you.

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#sexparties #nycgaynightlife #instagay #gaynightlife #gaysexparties #nycgay #gaybar #racisminthegaycommunity #sexualracism #racism #colorfetish

A post shared by LeNair Xavier (@lxtreme1971) on Oct 20, 2018 at 2:23pm PDT

I Will NOT Be Mr. Mistress

One night I met this hot guy at The Cock. About my height (5'6"), and build, with brown hair. We fooled around. We parted ways at some point during that night. Time passed, and I recently ran into him again at a bar.

This time when I saw him, all was the same. I was still very much attracted to him, and he was still very much attracted to me. We started making out like we were meeting for the first time all over again. And it kind of was like that. Since we both forgot each other's names. So we had to re-introduce ourselves to each other.

His kiss. His intensity of that kiss and holding me. That nice ass I grabbed that made me want to lay on my back and be fucked missionary anywhere, even that concrete floor of the bar. None of it had changed. However, there was something this time around that made me feel I should leave him alone. I just didn't know what.

He did just as he did before. Make out with me, then vanish. Probably playing with whomever, then coming back to me. But even more so this time, whatever that something about me that made me different from other guys he made out with there, enough to come back, it seemed to grow that night. For this time, he said he wanted to fuck me.

Once I considered it, he asked where could we go. Because as it turned out, he didn't want to find a dark corner, or slip into a bathroom, lock the door, and fuck there. So the problem was that neither of us could go back to our homes. Even knowing this, he still wanted to keep making out with me. Using his eyes, lips, mouth, hands, and fingers to get as close as possible to an idea of what it would be like to be inside me, and thrust away at me. His taking breaks from kissing me to look me in the face. His hands pulling up my shirt to feel then kiss my torso and nipples, and sliding down my pants to feel and grope my ass.

As he felt my ass, his eagerness to get that idea of fucking my hole grew. So he feverishly undid my belt to make it easier to put his finger on my asshole. He pulled it out of my pants then I put it in my mouth to wet it. It was my way of letting him inside. I sucked on his finger, licking it like I wanted to do his dick. He then returned his now wet finger into my pants. With my lust and willingness for him to be inside me in any way possible making me relax my asshole, he slid his finger inside me. Moving slowly back and forth, then doing hard in and out thrusts into me. Using his finger to be where he was wishing his dick was instead.

During breaks within this heavy make-out session, we asked questions of each other. I asked him where he was from since I heard an accent. He said he was Irish, but was born in Queens. He asked the same of me, and I told him. I later asked where did he live now. He then answered, "In Queens...with my girlfriend."

I was not prepared for that answer. Nor was I prepared for how that simple question of mine would be the question leading to the answer as to why I was initially telling myself that night to reject his approaching me to fool around. But the only way to know for sure was to ask my next question.

So I asked him, "Does your girlfriend know about this side of you (being some degree gay), and being here?"

He answered, "No". Then made it more certain that I should have backed away when he approached me. For he then added, "You probably like that."

I responded, "Actually,...I don't. I could get off on seeing the 2 of you fuck. But I'm not really cool with her not knowing you like to play with guys."

And it's true. I could get off on watching him fuck his girlfriend. In fact, when he said the word "girlfriend", I was hoping when I asked if she knew about his gayness that he would say she did. That way, I would definitely have considered him a candidate for the bisexual 3-way that I recently mentioned as one for my To-Do list.

After this revelation however, the making out slowly died down. To the point that we had no choice but to part ways. Leaving us only to play with someone else to our liking. And hoping for better results.

What immediately came to my mind when he said that I probably liked him having a girlfriend not knowing about his gay sex was... What the fuck made him think I would want him even though he has an in-the-dark girlfriend?

It immediately came to me. The answer that keeps coming to me when I see one fucked up sexual perception after another within the gay male community... PORN.

Do you really think this young guy came up with the idea that I'd like being "the guy on the side" all on his own? No. He saw the tool we have all seen over time. Especially now since shit-show studios like IconMale and Men.com (just to name 2) make this idiocy a constant theme.
Repeatedly dodging their responsibility to the minds they are influencing by calling it "fantasy".

Also, mainstream gay magazines and websites greenlighting articles about how a gay can seduce a straight male don't help either. Even if at the end of the article, the editor gives it a negative criticism, such articles are often marketed by their titles baiting you into thinking such behavior is okay, when it's actually not. Far from it.

This is not to say that gay males are forbidden to fantasize about straight males. I would not have written my article for Kiiroo listing 5 porn actors who do straight porn that gays could like if that were the case. Nor would I have a subscription to LustCinema. But I am vehemently against presenting to impressionable gay minds the idea of playing with a guy on the down low. Hence my disgust with Lovari producing for The Original Latino Fan Club. And this guy seemed to be in his 20s, maybe early 30s with that bar's dim lighting. So this guy is the right age to get his information from watching gay porn that this was okay. Thinking that presenting himself as "straight" would make him more lusted after.

Yes, he would...by a self-loathing gay who is driven by the reality of "misery loves company". So in hating his gay life, what better way for such a gay person to feel accomplished than by "converting" a straight man to become gay, even for a night.

My time in the porn industry showed me that many older gays don't care about who gets misinformation, for they are looking for any display of sex to get them off, be it right or wrong. They give it a pass calling it a "fantasy". Never considering how some younger newly-out gay watched such porn. Thinking the scenario was plausible. So they tried taking up with a guy they were attracted to, but was on the down low. All to end up either physically harmed or dead by that guy on the down low. For after all, dead men tell no tales...and too often, neither do scarred ones.

With all this said, I have never denied how I am very sexual. However, I am even more so:

Self-respecting
I lived a life of denial before. It took me being 30 going on 31 before I came out to myself, and became sexual active. Doing so because I did not want to become like this guy. I no longer wanted to live a life of lying to myself about my orientation. For such a life is actually not a life. Hence why I spent so many years contemplating suicide. And I'll be damned if I'm going to tolerate, or enable such self-denial in someone else.

Intelligent
I learned from the hell I put myself through by trying to live as a totally straight male while I was and still am a predominately gay bisexual. So if I am as smart as I present myself to be, I will not enable anyone to live the same self-destructive lie I was trying to live.

Therefore, even more so;
Aware of Karma
So I am not going to fool around with you knowing that your girlfriend is (as far as you know) living in the dark about your degree of homosexuality. Homosexuality that is at such a fever pitch for you that you need to sneak to gay bars, some with a backroom, to get off on dick-to-male ass sexual interaction because your dick in her pussy is not enough. And she is unaware that her pussy is not enough for you.

OR is she aware? But is so desperate to not be alone (at least in word) that she turns a blind eye to all signs that he's betraying her trust. I said "in word" because his attempted betrayal with another person immediately made her spiritually alone.

Now, even if this guy said that his girlfriend knows about his cruising for males, and she's fine with it, it's highly unlikely that I would have left that bar to be alone with him. For if a guy tells you that he has a girlfriend, and that she's okay with him having sex with males, unless she's there to confirm that statement, that guy could too easily be lying to you. That's why that scenario is best left as a fantasy until you can get the female significant other's blessing.

All I will say in this guy's defense is this:
Many (especially in the gay community) having an issue with bisexuality is why there are guys like this one. For many, myself included have encountered that when you proclaim yourself to be bisexual, the stereotypical gay male with his ignorant hetero-phobia and Straights vs. Gays war going on in his head demands you to pick a side. So the guy might call themselves "straight" because heterosexuality might be the more dominant orientation in his bisexuality, just as I sometimes call myself "gay" because that's the more dominant orientation in my bisexuality. Or it might be that they just haven't thought of a term for their orientation as I have.

Even if they did take the time to come up with a logical term to define their sexual orientation, with so much adversity shown to bisexuals, not many take it upon themselves to do as I did. Letting their proclaiming themselves as bisexual say:

"Bi-phobic bitches can go fuck themselves with a spiked dildo! This is me! I'm a bisexual, and I like one gender more than the other. And I am self-aware enough to know which gender I want to have a relationship with, and which gender I just want to have sex void of romantic involvement with."

In any case, whether he defines as bisexual or straight, the fact remains that according to him, there is another woman involved. A woman who knows nothing about his gay sexcapades. And the way he was acting with me that night, he seemed like he might be trying to groom me to be his Mr. Mistress.

Well, for all the reasons stated before, that's not going to happen. So for a situation like this, the lyrics of Sir Ari Gold's song Mr. Mistress says everything I want to say to this guy, and guys like him...

Holding The Balls at Bingo-A-Gogo

It's been awhile, but this should be fun.

On January 10th, I'll be the guest caller at a special Men of Color Bingo-A-Gogo at The Cock.

When I said that it's been awhile, it because if you've followed me since my porn days, then you might recall me being a guest caller at Will Clark's Porno Bingo a good number of times. Before my porn career by winning his Porn Idol contest, as well as since my retirement from the industry. So the idea of me holding balls in my hand is nothing new.

And FYI, I'm talking about Bingo balls. Thinking otherwise just goes to show....

Well, bring your nasty mind where it will be greatly appreciated. Especially since you'll probably need the release after a hard day's work. So let some good drinks by your bartender Franco and $1 per Bingo card give you a chance to win prizes to enhance your sex life on that night, and a good number beyond.

I wondering, might you find this to be an even better pick-me up if perhaps I read some of my erotic poetry to get you in the mood. Or give some sexual advice that you'll soon want to find a lucky someone to take home from the party afterwards, Thiccc to try it on. Even more so hoping to put the "happy" in Happy Hour, I will be stripping down as this Happy Hour event progresses.

Keep in mind this will be happening on a Wednesday night...HUMP DAY! And you know I'm all about inspiring some healthy & hearty Hump Day humping.

So I hope to see you there. 😉

BINGO-A-GOGO

 January 10th @ The Cock

93 2nd Avenue

(bet. E. 5th & 6th Streets)

From 7 - 10 pm

$1 Bingo cards

Happy Hour 2-4-1 drinks

Followed by Thiccc at 11 pm

Then maybe you'll stick around for....

Our friends over at @gutsnyc put together a sweet flyer for when they invade the DJ booth for the Jan. 10th edition of #THICCC only at @thecock.nyc It's our monthly get down for guys of color and all the folks who love them. Come thru and hear some great music, drink stiff drinks, and come play with some hot men. My host John John and I will be around yo make sure you have a great time. We'll have some thiccc and sexy GOGO men from all backgrounds shaking asses and swinging dicks all. night long. Save the date Jan 10th at 11! No cover before 11PM/ $5 After Coat and clothes check available. 93 2nd Ave - 2nd Ave between 6th and 5th #verse #bottoms #tops #dirty #gaysex #latenight #poppers #gaymen #gayfollow #nycnightlife #gaycruising

A post shared by Francesco De Marco (@beefyqueer) on Jan 5, 2018 at 11:18am PST

When Pornstars & Their Lookalikes Fuck Alike

The night after Folsom Street East, I went to The Cock to unwind. I ran into a guy I met before. The last time we spoke however, a mutual acquaintance took up so much of his time that I told him, "Go fuck yourself!"

I thought that would make me memorable enough for him to never speak to me again. Well, for whatever reason, he still spoke to me. I figured saying the uniqueness of my name would definitely trigger the memory. Yet, it did not. Or did it? Considering that latter possibility is why I took his continuing the conversation without looking for an exit as him trying to have a do-over. An act I could easily admire since most gay males' narcissism won't even let them bother.

When I first met him, I thought he looked like some celebrity, but couldn't for the life of me figure out who. His look that night had changed since then, and at first, it still wasn't clear as to who he resembled. But once we started talking, then making out, it started going to the back of my mind. And the more he kissed me, the further back that thought got pushed.

We got back to his place, and soon started stripping. His tall, slim frame in black underwear with a gold waistband. And a full reveal of the moderate amount of hair on his chest and legs that I had been stroking while making out with him when he was in his tank top and shorts. Then soon after he bent over to pull down those undies to finally give me a view of the pièce de résistance - his cock.

I immediately dropped to my knees to give him a blowjob to reward him for revealing his cock. Not to toot my own horn, but he got hard pretty fast from my oral prowess. Hard and throbbing enough that we both knew that if I sucked him for much longer, he would have come before his dick got inside my ass. So he quickly picked me up off my knees and laid me on my back vertically on the bed. His tall, slim frame towering over me. We kissed passionately, then broke apart to look at each other. While staring into my eyes, he spit in his hand and tried shoving his spit-lubed cock inside me. Seeing this, I also used a spit lube on my hole.

Now, after all my talk about my tight hole needing lots of lube, using a spit-lube on my ass, and a guy getting inside might sound impossible. However, when I'm really into a guy, and the guy is not necessarily thick as a beer can, my hole will relax enough to let a guy in with only a spit-lube.

He started pounding my ass in missionary. Pounding harder and harder. I had no idea where to put my hands but I knew I desperately wanted them on him. As usual, I could care less about stroking my dick. He then moved further on the bed, repositioning himself horizontally. He told me to ride his cock, and I happily obliged.

While I rode his cock, he told me to do something I had never done before. He told me to choke him. So while I rode and grinded on his cock as it pleased my ass, I put my hands at the based on his neck and squeezed.

His request tp choke him made a face begin to form in my mind to answer my question of who he resembled. But it really came into full form, when we changed position again with him banging me from behind, and lightly pulling the sides of my mouth.

The face was that of straight male pornstar, Mark Ashley, who I have long been a fan of. Once I realized my playmate resembled him, I realized it was because Mark Ashely has passionately fucked his female scene partners doing very similar actions. So even though my playmate was a good deal slimmer and a tad more hairy, this guy's resemblance to Mark Ashley in his younger days just basically gives more life to my curiosity as to whether or not people who look alike fuck alike.

He kept pounding away until he came. I loved feeling his cock throb from shooting jizz inside me. As we laid there spooning in the afterglow, the last thing he said to me before we closed our eyes for the moment was, "Don't be surprised if you wake up with my dick in your ass."

I replied, "You won't get any argument out of me." Then we drifted off to sleep.

A couple of hours later, my 6th sense woke up because it felt someone's attention extremely focused on me. It, as it should have been, was my playmate, who I was still in a spooning position with. My 6th sense was alerting me to what was about to happen next, which was his hard cock rubbing against the crack of my ass because he was about to go in for Round 2. So had it not been for my 6th sense waking me up, my playmate would have been able to make good on his promise of having me wake up with his dick in my ass. So while it's nice to know my 6th sense is on point, this is an instance when I had wished it would taken a night off.

Most hookups that come from us leaving together and going to my place or his result in one fuck after we walk in the door, and another to please our morning wood. This time however, it resulted in 3 fucks. One when we walked in the door, another after we randomly woke up in the middle of the night, then the last about 2 hours after sunrise.

This third time, even with the sleeps in between, my body so was charged and sensitive from the 2 previous fucks that each of his thrusts into me was another stroke against my prostate that teased my cock to feel I was about to ejaculate. He thrusted inward, the cum felt on the way out. And when he thrusted outward, the jizz also fell back. That's what I felt the entire time he had me on my stomach. And it was in this position in which he came this go around. He moaned as his cock throbbed inside me to squeeze out another load of cum, while I already clasping his hands, pulled him even tighter around me. For while I didn't ejaculate, when he orgasmed physically, I orgasmed mentally. Once again from the pleasure of feeling what my body did to his body.

After fucking raw, I don't do the pushing out of cum like you see some do in porn videos. I stated before that my tight hole holds jizz a good long while. Case in point, I left my playmate's place around 9 a.m., but it wasn't until after noon that my ass felt a tingle to let go of the 3 loads of jizz he put inside me. I'm sure it more so depends on how far his cum shot inside me, but you must admit that if men had ovaries, his cum load would have been in me so long that I would outdo Octo-mom.

We basked in the afterglow of Round 3 for a few minutes before I decided to leave so I wouldn't overstay my welcome. Even though there was a part of me that felt he could have kept me in bed and fucked me a few times more. Well, as far as time was concerned, he had the day off, but I did have a closing shift that afternoon.

I don't know about you, but for me, my work day that day was not an easy one. For I hate going to work after having great sex because I want to bask in the afterglow, even if it's by myself. And that definitely was some great sex.