If you follow me on any form of social media, then you know that I have made it no secret of my great disdain for poppers. Well, it is one thing to have a disdain for something, but it becomes a stance of arrogance to refuse an in depth explanation for that stance.
Once at The Pleasure Chest, they had a sex-ed skill-share for people wanting to be sex educators. One of the required task was to make a 10-minute presentation on a sexual topic, to which other participants gave criticisms on your presentation. The topic I chose was “Popper-Free Anal Sex”. And while I took most of the criticism well, and was actually self-aware enough to know, one criticism was substance-abuse enabling, and capitalism-driven for a sex retail space willing to sell poppers.
I was told that my calling partakers of poppers ignorant was me shaming them.
I’m sorry, but I am supposed to think that I said something wrong? For I pride myself on seeing the big picture on a matter before speaking publicly about it. Plus, when I say anything against poppers, I am talking to adults. Adults who should know better than to intentionally hold a bottle mere millimeters away from their noses to sniff. Especially since that bottle houses amyl nitrates — a chemical that if ingested any more directly (like swallowing) can result in immediate (and possibly fatal) harm to the body. Such as this doctor’s quote from a Vice article shows:
“It is not thought that amyl leads to many long-term issues, but there are some short-term risks,” Dr Boylan says. “It is possible to develop an allergic reaction over time. Another rare but serious complication is methaemoglobinaemia, which means the blood becomes unable to carry oxygen. This can be life threatening, and it happens when a person swallows rather than inhales poppers.”
Am I really supposed to coddle adults who should have the common sense to figure out just a smidgen of this information?
Take note that the person who accused me of shaming was a cis female. She does not live with seeing this ignoring of common sense repeated in her community ad nauseum. Unlike me, who sees it repeatedly since the gayness in my bisexuality has me way more so in the gay male community. Hence why I made it my topic for that event.
I feel no wrong in shaming in this instance. For if a parent is any degree worthy of the title of “parent”, then there are instances in which teaching the difference between right and wrong requires shaming you for doing the wrong. Plus what other choice does one have when common sense is often met by many popper users with an addict's aggression to defend their drug of choice. So real educators, ones not marionetted by corporate bottom lines are left to pick up where too many "gay parents" have fucked up.
Before we go any further, know that I have survived over a decade of contemplating suicide because of not owning my orientation. I did not survive and endure all of those days and nights of angst to finally come out, bottoming, then delude myself into thinking I’d be cooler if I became a substance abuser by doing poppers. Hence why I make no secret as to how since my coming out, my enjoyment of anal sex has led to me being tag-teamed by beer-can thick dicks, double-penetrated (more than twice), practically gangbanged, and still get compliments on having a tight hole. All without poppers.
My dislike of poppers is more about me wanting what every person engaging in sexual intercourse should want — — to be the center of my sex partner’s attention.
If I’m to share my sex partner’s focus, I want it to be with another human being if we’re having group sex. I don’t like the idea of sharing that focus... with a bottle? A bottle as much as 35 times shorter than me and containing a harmful substance. So the frustration that has come through much of what I’ve written about poppers over time is my concern as to why more gay males don’t want the same for themselves. And gay males are already prone to self-esteem issues as an oppressed community. So the use of poppers in my eyes becomes an acting out over those issues.
Furthermore, when one encourages another to use them, they are encouraging that person to follow a path that is counterproductive to the ongoing fights for 1)being gay, and; 2) having anal sex considered a healthy sexual practice to celebrate sexuality.
I come at this matter with such veracity because I’ve been masturbating since I was about 10 years old. Eventually I realized that fondling of myself was me introducing my body to sexual stimulation. Well, from the pleasures I got from that fondling, then playing with my butt hole once I discovered gay male sex was usually anal, I felt if those pleasant sensations were so much as an inkling of what actual sexual intercourse felt like, then I wanted nothing, nothing, NOTHING to interfere with my brain receiving the messages of how much pleasure I was feeling. Nor did I want anything to interfere with me remembering what exactly I did to my body to achieve that pleasure, so I can pass on that information to my sex partner(s) if need be. Or who gave that pleasure to me.
I find it to be absolute insanity to allow anything to interfere with that sensation. To the point that I will not date a guy who does poppers. So while some white/light-complexioned guys treat medium/dark-complexioned guys as being “good enough for a lay, but not to stay”, that’s how I treat guys who do poppers. And I feel no shame about it. For at least my discarding of such guys is based on a health-conscious decision. A behavior they can change if they choose to. Unlike the aforementioned white/light-complexioned guys whose racism and colorism makes them discard you over natural traits like darker skin and almond-shaped eyes. Therefore, beyond your control.
I personally get highly offended when I either see online profiles of guys claiming how they “can suck dick all day by doing poppers”, or seeing the actual action at a sex party/backroom by a guy on his knees sucking every dick around him and interrupting his suck with a huff of poppers. What offends me is how such a guy is lying to himself about his love of oral sex. Anyone who claims to “need” poppers to better their endurance of oral sex is telling themselves a lie.
For I love giving blowjobs. If you put 5 hot guys in front of me with their dicks out, I’ll suck on their dicks so long that my jowls might look like those of Kanye West by the end of it. And I don’t need to huff on poppers to suck on them that long. My love of sucking dick, those guys’ sex appeal, and my ego about my oral prowess is all the drive I need.
I’m sure some feel that I owe no one this explanation. After all, the term “poppers” alone is illegal is some places because it shows illegal intent to use amyl nitrates by huffing. Even XTube is aware of this fact. Hence why I had to change the title in the description for my XTube video embedded in “Poppers! We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Poppers!” For XTube has outlawed the use of the word “poppers” on their site. Even if the purpose of the word is to eradicate poppers itself.
However, what motivates me to give this explanation is because poppers have so heinously infiltrated the gay male community, it is seeping into the anal sex lives of straight people as well… But by the misleading advice of gay males who were advised by the misled before them. So it is an ugly passing of a spiked baton showing that this substance abuse is an epidemic. One that a detailed explanation of one’s adversity to poppers might be one of the last stitch efforts to eradicate this interference to our anal-sex-loving lives.
With all this, am I bragging? In order to get the message through, YES.
So join me so that I will have no reason or right to brag. For doing such great sexual feats will instead become for all of us in the anal sex-loving community, a common place statement of being. Thereby making bragging become wasted breath. But right now, my bragging is still necessary.
