I Can Sell Your Dick Better Than Any Pornstar

After midnight on Friday, I wrote this post on my former Facebook page:

After riding the Latino's beautiful cock, we parted ways. I then went and sat on a stool at the bar. Not too long after though, I could see from there that a go-go boy was trying to give the Latino a lap dance. The lap dance might have even led to some fucking over there. But it was definitely the case in an area behind a curtain closer to the bar, as I went for a closer look.

Trust me, my need to go in closer was not jealousy of any kind. My need to investigate was because I suspected a trend. The trend I stated in the caption of the Instagram pic below:

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Over the past few months, I have had not 1, not 2, but 3 instances when I'm bottoming with a hottie in a #gaybar backroom, and the #gogoboy witnessing it needs to be next. Since my verbal and physical reactions were the most noticeable parts of the encounter, it was literally my #ass that sold those #gogoboys on straying from their job to try getting a taste of what I was enjoying. And for Gogo #1, that's continued straying. And you probably thought only #bottoming #gaypornstars could sell you on a top's #cock. A blog post on "L's X-Ray Vision" will soon give more details. * #gaynightlife #backroom #jealousy #envy #sexualwhiteentitlement #racisminthegaycommunity #sexualracism

A post shared by LeNair Xavier (@lenairxavier71) on Feb 28, 2019 at 7:53pm PST

So this was the 3 time such a thing has happened in the past 4 or 5 months. It's common for fellow patrons in a sex party/backroom to scramble to be the next one to ride on the dick that just pleased you because your ass pleased him. But it's another social disorder present when that many go-go boys do the same thing in such a span of time.

What's wrong is that their behavior reaffirms my observations from over 7 years ago. About how today's go-go boys don't stick to being solely eye candy. And while most go-go boys are millennials, many let their horniness be governed by the narcissism and sense of entitlement numerous articles have shown that millennials have come to be known for. A work ethic is not as much in their performance as it should be, or as they might claim it is.

I'm sure this next suspicion is going to cause some of you to say, "Oh, here he goes with that again!", But the fact is many white and light-complexioned males have long tried to either be the "next and better" sex partner, or out right steal a playmate from a person of color. Yes, they play the same game with other white/light complexioned people. However, every medium to dark complexioned Black, Latino, or Middle Easterner, and Asian reading this has probably experienced this at some point, and a good deal more often.

Case in point:

At the after party that inspired my Thotyssey article, "Fetch My Drugs, Fetch My Fuck", I was the sole Black guy invited. Always having a White/light Latino playmate. When one guest would start playing with someone who came as part of a pair or grouping, all of the members of that initial pair or grouping was always added to being played with, but they were all either white or light skinned Latino. But when one of the guest tried playing with the guy my +1 (since I was the one initially invited), they tried acting like I wasn't even in the room.

Luckily, it never erupted into a conflict because the playmates I brought there were loyal enough to me to not leave me out, and tried including me when the white/light guy wouldn't bother. Looking back, I wonder does that have to do with them being European. Because I have not had such a high percentage of loyalty from American white males. But that's another topic.

My point is that all of these go-go boys are either white American or Latino. So it's only natural that they would be suspected of that same self-serving mindset. Especially by being a go-go boy, many looked upon as sex gods, and they know it. 

If this is not the case with all 3, it is definitely the case with Go-go Boy #1. For while I was bottoming for the guy he wanted, he was actually trying to chat away with my top to get him away from me. This just goes to show that you can give a white boy (even one with a big dick) a gig that portrays him as a sex god, but he can still exhibit the racist white male insecurity towards a Black male's sexuality.

For no man is a sex god, whatever color he may be. And no matter what media hype tells us, the deepest part of our conscience knows that limitation to be true.

Now, let's address the title of this article. It's because when you think about it, most fans of penetrating male porn actors are sold on that male not by his actions solely, if at all. They are more sold on that male porn actor by the reactions of the person they are performing sex acts on/with.

In my cases:

#1 was a combo of him thrusting into my ass from behind, and me thrusting on his dick;

#2 was mostly me riding the guy's dick, and;

#3 was me solely riding the guy's dick.

So the majority of action and reaction that made these go-go boys strive for a turn came from me. Therefore, it was my ass and my top's reaction to my ass that sold those go-go boys on my playmate's cock to the point that they wanted to be next in line. Much like a penetrated pornstar, but better than a penetrated pornstar because I didn't need to get paid in order to do it. It was a natural sexual chemistry leading to my natural fun expressed. 

It is definitely an ego boost to realize that the way I fuck, in this case, as a bottom, that I can make even the guys portrayed as sex gods want the playmate that I had obtained. And it may be a degree of envy involved. For those go-go boys' trysts after mine came more so from them dancing on that box. A perch for them to be noticed. Meanwhile, my trysts with those playmates came simply from me being in the room... at floor level like my playmates. Knowing recognition is a possibility, but not seeking it when they approached me. 😁😎😉😘

Sexy Party Review - High + Tight: The 2nd Coming

Sex parties to celebrate Gay Pride! Not at all a new concept. And not at all an unwarranted one. After all, one of the aspects of Gay Pride to be free to have sex with whichever gender you want without persecution.

With that however, comes a responsibility to each other. Such as not behaving in a way to make your fellow man feel less than. Especially, over a natural occurrence such as skin color. Well, it seems like the most white and light Latinos at High + Tight: The 2nd Coming didn't get that memo.

At first, I thought it was just me. For everyone who is often approached and flirted with has an off night, and vice versa. But I felt an ugly energy in the air there. The ugly energy of sexual racism. An ugly energy I forgot about feeling at the last High + Tight party because it was such awhile back. So this night  caused a flashback.

However, since I didn't want to be right about my criticism, because that was then, and this is now, I used the one tactic that would prove me right, even though I wanted to be proven wrong... I looked at other Black males in the room to see how they were fairing.

I disappointingly discovered they were also being rejected. To be more exact, Blacks and Asians there were about 95% of the time either treated like they were invisible, or they were used as ego-boosting strokers and fluffers, then discarded. But seldom did anyone have sex with a Black guy there.

Such a case was this skinny white guy with glasses. I kept feeling myself being watched. I turned around to see a husky Black guy giving a blowjob to this skinny white guy. The feeling of being watched was because the white guy was looking at me while getting his blowjob. Besides my being bothered by how I was being gawked at while they're getting a blowjob from someone else, Something still felt off. So I went closer to him. Once I got closer. He tried acting like I wasn't there. So it was all a ploy. He had a Black guy on his dick, and another Black guy he felt he drew in. So he was using us 2 Black guys to stroke his ego. This was something I saw among the patrons at High + Tight: The 2nd Coming A LOT!

While it's an ugly ploy, it is an understandable one from these creatures. As I said in a recent comment to an article on NewNowNext, many gay white males are incredibly insecure. Not a surprise when you're put on a man-made pedestal, especially a racist one. You make every other color feel "less than" so they won't contend with you always being in fear of falling off that pedestal. However, the white guilt of life on that pedestal makes those controlling media make us Blacks into sexual superheroes. This doesn't excuse or lessen the ugliness of using someone solely to stroke their ego out of some racist jealousy. So let's leave Karma to deal with them on that.

This idea of using someone of a certain color, ethnicity, and/or body type only as a stroker or fluffer, but not as a sexual prospect is an ugly common practice among those endorsed as epitomes of beauty by gay media, porn, and nightlife. That means white, light-skinned Latinos, and gymrat blacks. With the commonality of which color does it most often being in that order. Seeing many white guys do this is over and over and over again at NY Jock Party/GBU events is why I stopped going there. So if High + Tight promoters that get their shit together, they will be the next party I suggest being on my Miss List.

In short, such behavior at High & Tight shows its name should be changed to "Racist & White". Therefore, instead of it having a "2nd coming", it should have stayed gone.


Well, I'm glad to say that the next night I went to CumUnion. And based on my experience there...

CumUnion picked up where High + Tight fucked up!!!

For early on, unlike at High & Tight, I saw guys of all sizes and colors getting action at CumUnion. Sure, there were some who were still assholes. In fact, I saw a few guys from that High + Tight party at this CumUnion party. But overall, this crowd showed itself to have someone for everyone. And in a city as diverse as New York City, such a crowd shows that a promoter is doing their job. They're not catering to their little clonish clique with a Pre-Civil Right Movement color approval rating as to what is sexy. An attitude that was all too evident at High + Tight. Hence why I wrote this Facebook post that Saturday:


With that said, the promoters of High + Tight have a lot of work to do. For starters, being open-minded enough to learn and know that in a mecca of diversity like NYC, and at a diversity-inviting space The Cock has grown into, one should create a  party that is all inclusive. Not limiting your crowd to being only the porn clones and colors you want to fuck. If you want that party, keep it in the close-mindedness of your home, or the lacking diversity of your hometown, but...

NOT IN A PARTY SPACE IN MY CITY!!! Thank you.

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#sexparties #nycgaynightlife #instagay #gaynightlife #gaysexparties #nycgay #gaybar #racisminthegaycommunity #sexualracism #racism #colorfetish

A post shared by LeNair Xavier (@lxtreme1971) on Oct 20, 2018 at 2:23pm PDT

Sex Party of Appreciation Or Fetishizing

• At a naked party I recently attended, the only other black partygoer there besides myself quietly asked me, "Why doesn't anybody like me?"
• 
  
• As much as I didn't want to say it there, as I get older, I no longer care in waiting to tell a truth needed to be told. So I felt if anyone hears me, and has a problem with what I say, then they would expose themselves as either a guilty party, and/or an enabler of the problem.

So I unleashed the truth by telling him specifically what that problem is...Sexual racism, and how it is very much alive in 2017. Even though we have a great host that is welcoming to all colors and ethnicities, a number of guests are not that open-minded. Their actions show that if you don't fit into the color spectrum of white to light, then you get a polite "Hello" (if that), and nothing more.

In the midst of my saying this and more to further explain my point, I think that in my passion, my voice carried. For I heard one guy say to another in the next room, "It's just sex, You're overthinking it!"

Maybe it wasn't them kiki'ing over what I was saying. However, since that response is a very common racially insensitive white response to when I address the issue of sexual racism, it's only natural for me to feel it was very likely directed at what I was saying.

• 
  
• So in my suspicion and needed venting, I posted this on Facebook, then made a screenshot of it, to post on Instagram the next day:

• #sexualracism #racism #interracial #interracialsex #blackandwhite #racialinsensitivity #gaysexparties

  A post shared by LeNair Xavier (@lenairxavier) on Jul 11, 2017 at 8:13pm PDT

• After some likes on Instagram, I got this comment from @ciscofashionnyc, and followed by my reply:
• ciscofashionnycquestion i have is.. if you feel that way, why would you attend sex parties where you feel that’s the case 😕 go where you will appreciated ‼️ #Facts#NYC #KiKiWithCisco

lenairxavier@ciscofashionnyc Because the only way one can get away from it is if they're such a coward about the reality of racism that they attend an all-black party. And since I love and honor the diversity that comes from being born and raised in the USA, and a native New Yorker, I'll be damned if I'm going to let some racist trash heaps chase me out of a place. Especially when some there do appreciate me, furthering the intent of the welcoming inclusive host.

As long as that reply is, because it was Instagram, I didn't reply with as much voracity as I will now by adding:
Being black and allowing myself to be exiled to attend an all-black party makes me just as racist and cowardly as the whites whose actions exiled me there. Furthermore, what exactly is an indicator for Black males to "go where you will be appreciated"? Is that attending a party catering to "bruthas and their admirers"?

If so, then that's advising that I attend a party enabling more racism. For attending such a sex party, says I'm low enough on self-esteem to allow myself to be made a fetish of. Because the non-black "admirers" attending such parties are there for that purpose, even if they're too brainwashed with white/light entitlement to realize it. Plus, enough porn companies pull that crap, leading a plethora of ignorant whites and non-blacks to follow it. And for that reason, instead of sticking my dick in their ass to give them some "big black cock",  sticking my fist through their face and beyond as punishment for their ignorance sounds a lot more inviting. So to avoid going to that dark place, I don't attend events marketed in that fashion. 

After my initial response, I then got this question asked:

ciscofashionnycso why are you focused on the negative and not highlighting those who do appreciate you / instead of giving so much light to those with dark hearts ⁉️

My reply:

lenairxavier@ciscofashionnyc Because those with dark hearts do so because no one calls them on it.

The racism of gay media endorses and enables their dark hearts. And that damage will never get undone unless someone with the means to do so holds them accountable. Social media gives us all a means to do that. Plus, their behavior is rooted in narcissism. So they want attention "all about them"? Then they should have been careful with what their actions wished for.

Which brings to how those who appreciate me not being narcissists. So they don't need the public praise. And I have offered it to them. But many I talk to about giving it to them don't want it, even anonymously. It's because they know who they are, and the good they have within. And you can't help but respect them for that in the way they see fit.

Again, I let some explanations slide in my response. First, with hindsight being 20/20, I realize that answering my fellow black partygoer there with the risk of being overheard was me subconsciously giving the guilty their overdue calling out for their behavior. And it seemed to spark a reaction that paves the way for a discussion to many black males are guilted by whites into not having, with themselves or with whites. So at first I would have apologized for answering the question at that time. But now I see it was the right thing to do.

Second further explanation, if the person commenting kept in mind what he also sees of me on Facebook, he would have easily seen how I do give praise to those who appreciate me and my brown skin. Blog posts as recent as "When Pornstars & Their Lookalikes Fuck Alike" is a perfect example of that.

My playmate from that encounter was a white male who resembled white straight porn actor Mark Ashley. The reason I didn't highlight his appreciation of my darker skin to his pale skin was because it was just that - appreciation. Not fetishizing. Giving me such a level of peace that in telling the story, instead of focusing on the presumed absence of racism (sexual or otherwise), I was able to focus on the sexual bliss. For our attraction to each other was not me seeing him as an attractive white man, or (as far as I knew) him seeing me as an attractive black man. We saw each other simply as 2 attractive men. With skin color not being a necessary part of that beauty. When skin color is not part of the discussion, it makes for a beautiful tryst. And that's how it should be.

This is not to say that I'm against praising a man's skin color. Because I have been blessed with the gift of sight to see your skin color, and I maintain the wisdom to find both light and dark skin worth admiring. But sexual racism being what it is, we have to be mindful to not tell someone too much about that aspect of their beauty we are admiring. For too early of a reveal can lead to us giving ourselves to a racial fetishist, then calling them our lover, then life-partner. So one should let the overt admiration of their skin color be earned over time.

With all that said, what keeps me coming back to that party? It's who I mentioned before - the inclusive host. While a number of the white/light guys there will stick to their racist white gay media-endorsed mantra of "it's a preference", totally oblivious to their own racism, the obvious welcoming of the host is what keeps me coming back. For that welcome is true appreciation.

Now, if you go to a party, and the host is fake, and obviously unwelcoming, then that is when the beauty of your skin color is not appreciated. And that is when your patronage should cease. But as long as the host is doing their part, keep coming back.

Breeding Black Armor By White Insecurity

People are the products of their environment. These environments have often programmed their proclaimed standards long before you met them. If those standards contradict your own, those signs of that environment might fade a bit in your presence. Unfortunately, like a computer, they often reboot in that person when they leave your presence.

So since most media, events, and the most-respected people in gay society do not teach inclusiveness, we have moments where some (mainly blacks) get overwhelmed feeling like the outsider. Even if they normally forge head-first into the situation as a means to combat it, like myself.

Such a situation has people wearing an armor, even if the event has us totally naked. And with that, there comes a point when that armor must come off. You can and should take the armor off yourself. Otherwise, it will fall off unexpectedly. Resulting in awkward, and sometimes dangerous situations.

I usually take the armor off myself. By either the event ending in time, or me removing myself from the situation. Recently at a party however, I didn't do the latter, and the armor fell off. Thereby creating, not a dangerous situation, but definitely an awkward one.

The host had no idea as to what caused my usually cool, calm, and collected self to suddenly bolt out the door. I later explained giving a much more condensed version of what I'm saying here now.

Many black males experience this, but will seldom (if ever) reveal it out loud. Meanwhile, those whites and light people of color whose selfishness refuse to discuss racism since they so massively benefit from it need to learn empathy and compassion.

At the aforementioned party, I was fine a t first. However, the smaller the crowd got the more I felt the energy making me "the black man in the room". Many black male party-goers feel this. Either drinking themselves into stoopers, or making themselves the main drug connection for whites, and getting high with those whites to avoid feeling the reality of being "the black man in the room". That's why I'm more prone to address it. I'm always sober enough to see it, feel it, therefore remember every detail to acknowledge our community's moments of progress, but too often lack thereof.

Like I said, this is something I, and every other black male feels at just about any gay event in this country. And the only way to avoid it is to exile ourselves further by attending all-black parties like the one I mentioned in a Facebook post I wrote about a Latino I played with at a CumUnion party. And as a born and raised New Yorker, therefore a born and raised American, I should not have to exile myself like I'm in Pre-Civil Rights Movement America when the year is 2017. Especially when the heads of gay media, party promoters, and porn producers further inciting this racism are transplants to this multi-colored and multi-ethnic mecca that is my home.

Any black male you meet telling you they know not of what I speak is in denial. Either that, or they're telling you a bold-face lie to cover the guilt racially insensitive whites and bougie people of color try laying on us. Calling us blacks who speak honestly on this matter, "angry black men" if we dare to bring this matter up.

The question created by these situations are:
Why are blacks and other darker people of color still being made to feel inferior, when they are not by any means?

Well, the answer is the same as it has been throughout American history. It's what brought forth slavery. It's what brought forth segregation. It's what brought forth gender inequality along with too many other forms of inequality... WHITE MALE INSECURITY.

This insecurity is born out of how it is very likely encoded in our DNA that when we are put on any kind of pedestal, we fear the day (and way) we fall off of it. And it is inevitable that we will fall off of it. For every thing man produces has mortality.

So a white male's time on a pedestal appearing as the epitome of sex, beauty, and intellect; light-complexioned people of various ethnicities given those same props because the whites running media consider them as "passing"; all of the aforementioned seeing a person of a darker color or certain ethnicity, and initially liking what they see, but turn their eyes away just as quickly because the programming kicks in to think of those people as "ugly"; and for all of them, youth being their ticket to climbing that segregated ladder...

ALL OF IT WILL DIE AT SOME POINT. Ageism dismissing older gays will start it on its way. As for its final resting place, maybe not in my lifetime, or yours, but these ways of life will die. And no matter how much of a bravado is put on by those benefiting from that racism, every one of those people are dreading the day their time of being seen as a stud, a muse, or a genius dies.

Worst part of it is that for generations, these gay males still have never realized, therefore ignored teaching the next generation that the more they play into that racism, the more they act entitled to its perceived benefits, the more it's going to hurt when it's time to come down. It's probably because each generation had and has an arrogance saying things like, "I like what I like just because" or worst, "It will never happen to me."

Well, don't we already see the signs that beg to differ? For you can't miss seeing in the bars and clubs, the lonely old white and light-complexioned males buying lapdances and "alone time" with go-go boys. And long before that and very much on-going, how older guys are the main clients for escorts/prostitutes. So basically, those younger gays doing these gigs, are doing so for their lonely future selves.

How much worst does it have to get for us to realize that this RACISM (sexual and otherwise) NEEDS TO STOP???!!! All of this makes it clear how actions like this racism in the gay community creates a chain of livelihoods that shouldn't even be called "livelihoods". For they are making our community put on a happy face when in all actuality, we are imploding.

Therefore, all of the aforementioned acts create a path that benefits no one.

Go-Go Boys Racially Profiling Blacks... For Drugs

Recently, I wrote a post on Kinja about the roles depending on race/ethnicity that are ordained by the racist whites running gay media and nightlife. Two of the labels I stated as being put upon blacks were those of poor tipper and drug dealer. I should know. BOTH labels have been put upon me.

In numerous posts, I have made it no secret how many go-go boys do racial profiling in targeting patrons for tips. So if you're a person of color and notice a white patron getting more attention for their $1 tip than you, it's because they were taught the prostitution "mind"-set of targeting first old, then younger white males. And whether this is a practice taught by party promoters or more seasoned go-go boys, now you know what you're seeing. Also, you also now know to never tip his racist faggotty pig ass again.

So I already knew about go-go boys doing racial profiling for tips. However, imagine my surprise to see them do racial profiling...for drugs!!!

Yes, you read correct. I've seen a go-go boy do racial profiling for drugs. Now, it's bad enough to have had a number of situations where a white/light bar patron racially profiled my black self as knowing where to get drugs. And if you think it's not racial profiling, then explain this:

Some white/light people walk into the bar. Walking past numerous white/light people, and they don't stop and chat with another patron until they stand near you, one of (if not the only) black people in the room. And their greeting is them asking you if you know where they can get drugs.

Those doing this kind of racial profiling even includes a former Next Magazine cover model. But a go-go boy racially profiling a black person (or any other person of color), AND while on the clock is insulting to  the patron. Especially when that patron is a paying American patron.

I know because I am that paying American patron.

These Brazilian go-go boys are a duo. One with light hair, and one with dark. They were doing as they always do, when not on a box, tip-toeing around the bar, primarily targeting anyone alone. For in their minds, "alone" and "lonely" are synonyms, when actually they're not. For being lonely is being sad from being alone. I know their modus operandi so well because I was alone to do what I always do, observe and learn, which in turn makes me happy to be alone. But since they're one of my targets of observation, they would never fathom that.

However, on this night, the dark-haired one came up to me, which I found odd. For his light-haired partner always talked to me, but never him. In fact, the dark-haired one only shuffles across the floor, grinds up on a guy who makes their interest known by gawking at him, then says “Thank you”, only occasionally talking to anyone beyond that. So him opening his mouth to simply greet me when I was paying him no mind put me in even more shock. Well, I was trying to figure out what brought about this change in him to socialize with me. It didn't take long to find out.

For the very next thing he said after his greeting was,..."Do you know where I can get some cocaine?"

Hearing that question reminded me as to how I was one of few black guys in the bar, and how many white guys he stuck to his routine with of not talking much unless he was tipped. So between that, my being anti-drugs, being racially profiled by white/light patrons in the past, plus the unprofessionalism it takes for a go-go boy to try getting drugs (especially from a patron) while on the clock, I had to maintain my composure. For I was at a dangerously violent level of PISSED.

So I snapped back with the reply, “You don’t get to be my age, and look this good doing that stuff. So NO.”

Avoiding looking me in the eye, he turned his head and gave me a quick “thank you”, while doing his signature foot shuffle. Going away with his certified jackass tail between his legs.

If you follow my "Calling Out Ass Holes" Tumblr blog, you may know that the racial profiling in bar/clubs regarding drug use has happened to me before. It's recounted in the post titled, "Dancing While Black", where I was once removed from the dancefloor and searched at the (rightfully so) no-more Roxy. All because according to the sellout males of color who searched me, I "fit a description".

Never mind the fact that from what I've witnessed, since my coming out, the ones carried out of the bars/clubs for being wasted from drugs or booze has more than 80% of the time been white, followed their accepted person of color, light-complexioned Latinos.  Blacks and dark Middle Easterners are actually about 10%, or maybe less to be the ones carried out. So we're the good minority. Yet, you have the white heads of nightlife people treating us like we're the bad minority. Like the bad minority is supplying the drugs. And if nightlife people want to go that racist route, then let this scenario light a fuse in their sphincter that explodes when it reaches their stomach...

It's the simple law of economics. Supply & Demand. Even with illegal drugs. Let's say for argument's sake that the drug dealers are black. Well, if that black drug dealer is supplying the drugs, he can't supply the drugs if there is not a demand for product from the low sense of self-worth displayed by those white/light people and/or their Uncle Tom co-horts. So it's these white/light people needing to be carried out of the bar/club who keep the drug dealers in business. Plus, these blacks most likely don't have the connections to get these drugs. But the well-to-do whites targeted by go-go boys do. So there's your real supplier. Yet, just like with the American justice system, the racists running gay nightlife are targeting the black middlemen in the chain of the drug trade. As if that is going to solve the problem.

Well, I've seen some of the minority drug dealers no longer allowed to hang outside the bars. So if that was stopping the drugs, then why am I still being approached by whites asking me if I know where to get drugs? It's because their racist asses are still getting high!

This is what the white/light privilege and entitlement has brought to the gay community now???

It has already made white/light people of all ages feel entitled to touch go-go boys without tipping. Interrupting patrons of color who actually are tipping, all so they can make out with go-go boys, or buy them off the bar with money, promises of sex and/or drugs. All this, YET blacks still get racially profiled for being the main association with drugs and not tipping go-go boys. Well, if blacks do start ignoring go-go boys, you blame us based on how we're treated.

For while I'm sure what happened to me in this instance is not a common incident of racial profiling in gay nightlife, I'm sure it's a sign of the next step. That step where this sense of entitlement, privilege, and preferential hiring meant to cater to racism has now led to white/light staffers boldly racially profiling black patrons. For the racism promoters are catering to leads them to have no fear of consequence(s).

In fact, if the promoter or bar owner learns of this post, I'm sure that the most reprimand that will probably happen to that go-go boy afterwards is him being told to not approach me (specifically) again...because I'm a blogger.

The problem with that is just like many might not know of me as a blogger who calls out such occurrences, the next black person they approach in such an unprofessional manner could also be such a blogger. One even more popular than myself, but taken for granted because blacks are perceived by many as being powerless in the gay community, especially gay media. Or a white/light blogger who witnesses such actions, whose humanity and racial sensitivity make him find such actions from a go-go boy intolerable. Whatever his color, he might be an even more well known blogger whose post like this can do way more damage...

So party promoters and bar owners, THINK ABOUT THAT.

With that said, these promoters better check these go-go boys before bloggers like myself do it for them. Because I'm tired of people of my skin color and darker being made to appear as not good enough to dance on the bars and danceboxes of gay nightlife. Yet, these white/light boys are treated like the saints of beauty & sexuality. Being allowed to pull racist shit like this to patrons, and keep on dancing.

And I know such unprofessional behavior is not the case of every white/light go-go boy. And that's another reason I'm writing this post. For in recent years, I've seen too many go-go boys who are allowed to be this unprofessional that they put those who are professional under suspicion as being just as bad as them.

So THIS ALL NEEDS TO STOP!!! And if calling this situation out needs to be the beginning of that ignorance's end, then so be it.

Open Letter To Chris Ryan on Racism

Chris Ryan is a NYC party promoter. He recently posted a question on Facebook regarding sexual racism, which resulted in too many reactions from some whites that were not unexpected, but are therefore saddening since they don't speak well of us as a community. And as a NYC party promoter, Chris may unknowingly on some level enable these reactions to live on. So after seeing this reaction too many times before on other party promoter's pages, I decided to possibly enlighten him as to why such reactions exist, and why they are wrong. And it's my seeing it many times before on promoter's pages that I'm posting it as an open letter...


Hello Chris,

I recently saw this Facebook post of yours:

I will give you an answer, as well as get to how I feel about your question later on in this message. But let me start by saying that it's sad to say that I was disgusted, but not at all surprised by some of the comments I saw in response to your question. For too many of your 1st white commenters were quick to either brush the question off with a "Here we go again?" or a quick non-explanatory "No".

Such comments are common for mainly a white person, but also a person of a light complexioned ethnicity coming from an upbringing (in their youth and/or time in the gay community), or a medium to dark complexioned person trying to avoid a charge of being perceived as "angry" by any of the aforementioned. For the best known gay media sources including The Advocate, Out, Instinct, Queerty, etc., as well as gay porn and gay nightlife furthers along the "mind"-set that in knowledge, beauty, and sex appeal "white, then light are the only rights". So we are all taught that if we fuck and love white/light, we should never question ourselves when we do so. Hence the sense of white entitlement displayed among your commenters who refuse to stop and question themselves. This furthers along the reality of the stigma of how gay males have arrested development issues.

We are so bombarded by these images of what is smart and sexy by a short spectrum of color, while the color spectrum of human skin is actually way more vast. So since we as humans are not immune to coercion. we must stop and ask ourselves if our attraction is ours naturally, or media-influenced. Again, the whites with a sense of White Entitlement and arrogance endorsed by white-dominated gay outlets will be quick in refusing to do that look within. For they are the ones benefiting from it, and too stingy to share such glory.

What is most troubling about this is how meanwhile, all of the aforementioned who refuse to ask themselves if their attraction to whites/light is natural or media-influenced are quick to make someone question themselves if that someone should want a lover of a medium to dark complexion. Case in point, there are many times when I've been out, and a white/light person has given me a look of interest, but won't do a thing or say a single word. However, later in the night, I'll see them give that same look to a white/light person, and spring into action without hesitation.

Now, I have made no secret of battling my own racism towards other black males. And I have also made it no secret how that racism was induced by the trauma of my growing up where I was surrounded by black males who fit every negative stereotype seen in media. After realizing that since I'm a decent black man, therefore there must be more, I'm still in the process of finding more and more other black males as sexually attractive. But the only reason that has occurred is because I practice what I am preaching. I stopped to take a look at myself to ask myself:
WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY?
WHAT TAUGHT ME THIS?
And once I discovered what taught it to me, ask myself...
HOW DO I UNDO THE MISINFORMATION LIFE'S CIRCUMSTANCES HAS TAUGHT ME, and the MEDIA HAS TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF?

Such a look within is the act of a man. An adult. The problem is those who write such comments as "Here we go again?" or a the non-explanatory "No" are not man enough to do that look within.

So with all of this, the answer to your question is YES, it is racist. For we all have a preference, but only the shallow among us are the ones who refuse to believe the truth of how both sex and love are spiritual connections. And if you have enough depth to let that spiritual connection take over, you can find yourself sexually and/or romantically attracted to someone who is not of your usual preference. For the very 1st time I ever had sex with a Black man was for my 1st porn movie. Before that movie, my preference for guys lighter than myself took precedence. But since that movie and my look within, I have had a few occasions of sex with Black men outside of porn and sex party environments, and briefly courted one as well. Why? Because I saw something in their spirit that drew me in, and I wanted that spiritual connection with them in sex and/or love for it. So the only thing to stop someone from putting themselves in a place/situation to possibly feel and act on feeling that connection is RACISM.

Note: The fact that I've dated/sexed more lighter complexioned people than blacks does not mean lighter people are better. Every color is equally fucked up. Hence why I'm single.

Now, let me close with what I promised from the beginning in telling you how I feel about your question....Since a social media site like Facebook is where many go to validate their viewpoint by gathering "Likes", I can't help but wonder if your question on Facebook was simply a way to feel validated by all those who gave you that non-explanatory "no", Add to you being a party promoter, therefore on some level enables the racist mindset, which might give financial (but not spiritual) success, I'm even more skeptical. But I hoping more so that this question was posted because it is a genuine concern of yours. If such is the case, then I commend you for asking the question. For it shows somewhere in you, you are aware that so much of what I've said here is TRUE. So you have compassion. Now, whether or not you let that realization and compassion come to the forefront of your heart and mind enough to take further action in any way within your reach, that is up to you.

I hope this message came through with respect and diplomacy. If I diverted from that at any point, based on all I've witnessed, I hope you understand my frustration. Thank you.


B.U.2B FREE,

Sex Party Etiquette: Choose Competitor or Connector

It is said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different outcome. Well, with many  of my tales of sex parties and backrooms often come out showing guys who are losers, you might think that I'm insane. Well trust me, I am by no means insane.

For yes, I do go into those sex parties and backrooms over and over again. However, I'm not expecting a different outcome. I'm hoping for a different outcome. So I'm going by the age-old adage of "hope for the best, but expect the worst". And what I'm hoping for is a sign that we are doing better to our own and more importantly, ourselves. But with sad thanks to the following incident, that has yet to happen.

I recently went to a bar and met a tall, well-built, light haired, bearded guy from Boston named Chris. We made out for a bit, then after a while we went and got a drink together. En route to getting a drink, he said that it was his first time in such a place, so he's never tipped a go-go boy before. So I helped lead the way to show him how simple it was in a non-condescending way. It something I've done in the past for males I was and was not making out with, as well as females. So it was no big deal to me. It was just my kindness to a visitor to NYC to undo the repression towards sex and male nudity that makes a go-go boy in a jockstrap a scary creature to touch.

When we started making out again, we got quite hot and heavy. And at one point, while me and Chris were face to face, a light-skinned Latino wearing a black Marvel baseball cap got behind him. I later discovered this Latino was a totally racist asshole. I've seen him before, and he never wants a Black guy touching him. Yet, he has the fuckfaced audacity to inject himself into my session with my fooling around with Chris. Turning my connection with Chris into a competition. So he obvious was going by the idea I've address before about White and light-complexioned people acting as if they sexual entitled to the playmate of a darker person.

Before this I thought Chris was pretty cool and decent. Chris' decency died when the Latino leaves and Chris asked me if he could go with him for a little bit. In response I told Chris, "If you go with him, you might as well stay gone."

At this point, if you find my response to be me overreacting, then you exude the selfishness that holds gay males from doing better for themselves. For my behavior towards Chris before this Latino came along deserved both respect and loyalty. And both were forsaken when it became obvious to Chris that the Latino who interrupted us didn't want me as part of the package, in spite of the fact that me and Chris were already deep in our fooling around.

For the code of etiquette in such a situation is that if 2 (or more) people are playing, if someone new interjects or is invited in, then they have to be willing to play with all parties there before his arrival in the group. And this Latino felt such a selfishness and sense of light entitlement that he presented himself as another selfish faggot never considering that code. In his selfishness, my pre-existence didn't matter.

That sense of loyalty I talking about is how I lost my virginity in a 5-man orgy, instead just with one person. It was because even then I had a sense of loyalty. I put myself in this situation with the 3 guys (who later found a 5th) I hung around long enough to connect with. And it would have been rude of me to have suddenly up and left them if someone else came along who was not into one of them. There were some who tried, but it wasn't happening. For that night, I was experimenting, too.

Experimenting...That and being 22 are the excuses Chris gave for what he did after I made him feel uncomfortable for making out with the Latino after we parted ways.

Now at 22, Chris has obviously kissed, obviously touched a half-naked male body, obviously rimmed a guy's ass, and probably fucked. NONE OF WHICH I had not done on the night I lost my virginity. So his excuse of his being "22, at The Cock, and experimenting" was bullshit. The truth is he was another to prove the point I expressed in "The Expendable Gay Male". A point of how he was "another faggot who like so many other gay males make it their Karma to grow old and lonely. A point that hit him drilled into Chris' head that he got to the point of screaming, "Get away from me!"

And the sadist in me sparked by his behavior made me walk away with a smile as I got my things to leave.

And if you're being quick to defend Chris' age, take note of this fact:

If you're old enough to use age as your "justification" for treating someone as expendable, then you are old enough to know it's not a right thing to do.

TAKE NOTE: His outburst was not a shock. It was in fact calculated. Because that's what my plan is when I write tales such as this, or call someone on their shit to their face. To cause the guilty to have an emotional implosion or explosion because they hate hearing the negative word(s) about what their bad behavior makes them.

And the word "faggot" definitely qualifies to describe people like both Chris and that Latino. And for those who have an issue with me calling Chris that, let me reiterate:

There are gay men, and there are faggots. In using sex to calculate the measure of a man, a man (gay, straight, or bi) uses the quality of the sex. Meanwhile, a faggot uses the quantity of sex. Chris was so set on getting a higher quantity of guys that he made himself oblivious to this other guy not wanting me in the picture, and disregarding that fact once it became obvious to him.

Some might say that I'm giving guys a way to defend themselves by telling my mode of attack. Well, that's the beauty of truth. Nature has made it that you can't build a defense against it. A facade of defense, but never an actual defense. When it's a harsh truth, its hurting is going to manifest itself in some kind of way. Hence why I said "implosion". For even if the guilty doesn't scream like Chris, the fact is that truth is chiseling away at his soul as to how right I was to be disappointed in him, and how right I was to call him out.

Whether it's a sex party, backroom, or one-night stand, like a long-term relationship, you are still dealing with a human being. Someone who has invested time in you. Therefore, if they have not disrespected you, they still deserve your respect and loyalty.

Sadly. stereotypical gay male rules tell us to forget this reality. And what it leads to are all of those lonely old males wanting to porn in spite of how degrading it is to the performers, buying prostitutes, and sitting in dark corners of the bar living vicariously through the young guys who are destined to wind up just like them. After all, misery does love company. So Chris was one of those students of faggotry that night. Well, since we have enough of it here in NYC, maybe Chris can take his back home with him to Boston. And that will be good riddance.

Sexual White Entitlement - A Tale of 2 Pities

I wrote the above post on Facebook on August 31, 2015. It was after numerous instances over the years of seeing the behavior mentioned in that post perpetrated by White guys. Behavior that is so out of hand that during a trip to the backroom of a bar that very night, I saw 3 instances of sexual White entitlement. With me as the target of 2 of those instances...2 PITIFUL instances. And here they are:

Pity #1
I was at an underwear party observing some backroom action. The guys in the action were hot, and they both seemed to like the buffet of men. For while their main focus was each other, they each allowed others in. One of them however allowed more guys in than the other, and I became one of those "more guys". With that being the case, I stuck around. Actually, I kind of had no choice because part of how I became that "more" was by the more inclusive hottie grabbing hold of my hard dick every now and then.

Suddenly, this White guy comes over from my left, and tries to literally repeatedly bump me out of the way. In response, I solidified my weight. The fact that I weigh only 145 lbs, and he outweighed me by at least 30 lbs., and still wasn't able to move me shows just how strong I am. Since I wasn't so desperate, I could have easily let him please his social ineptitude and desperation, but since I'm all about studying people, I wanted to see how far he would go. He would not let up. I, one of the only 2 Black guys there (and smaller of the 2) possessed the spot he was willing to challenge someone for, while more convenient ones were possessed by other Whites. Never mind the fact that if he got pass me, the guy he was gunning to suck on had his back to him. So once I finally got tired of making him a test dummy for my observations, I let him through. Now, you didn't think this violation of my personal space and prize that is my body would go unpunished, did you? Hence why as soon as he dropped to the floor to suck like a savage on the guy who was occasionally fondling me, I made everyone laugh at him when I said for all to hear while shaking my head, "Desperation ain't cute."

A bit later, I could feel some eyes on me. It turned out being Mr. Desperation. Taking so long to get his thoughts together that I forgot all about him. I didn't even notice when he got up off the floor until he awakened me to his presence saying, "You said desperation ain't cute. Well, neither is cockblocking."

This proves his delusional sense of entitlement. For when is it "cockblocking" when someone stands their ground against you because you're not your target's boyfriend, and you're pushing that someone to get to that target? So I replied, "Me, cockblocking?! Bitch, your socially inept, desperate ass shoved me!"

So to that, his childish retort was, "You know what? Your ass stinks."

Like I said, childish. And not only childish, but also dishonest. For if my ass did stink. How would he know. He was nowhere near it. As I said before, he busted into the area totally from my left. When I responded out loud with this recall of his desperate entry, he shut up. However, from that point on, if looks could kill, someone would have died, but it wouldn't have been me. Because I could care less of his attempt at intimidation, which with his sense of sexual White entitlement only angered him more.

In addition to that, my calling him out in front of all the guys there made it so that even if he wasn't consciously aware, the only ones who would play with him after that were those just as desperate as him, if not more so. The problem is while misery usually loves company, desperate people don't want another desperate person as their 1st choice. They initially want someone unlike themselves - someone confident enough in what they have to offer to show freedom of choice. But my exchange with him snatched that phony mask of self-confidence off his face, then crushed it. And the sadist I become when you overstep your bounds enjoyed every second of the hell my honest words put him in.

Pity #2
Later on in the night, a White couple I saw walk in earlier came to that backroom area. I wasn't sure, but I thought when they walked into the bar that they were checking me out. When they came to the backroom, it was confirmed. For while one was sucking off another guy, the other was sucking on a brown-haired White guy and after seeing me from his side-eye, simultaneously reached into my jockstrap to start sucking on my dick. So he was sucking on me and the White guy. I touched on the other cocksuckee, and he was non-responsive. So I left him alone. Since he obviously didn't want to share (especially with me), he left in a huff. With him gone, once my cocksucker's partner saw he had me, that partner took a break from the cock he was sucking to give my cock a double-teamed suck.

As this progressed, I eventually went down on both of them, and the cocksucking went back and forth between the 3 of us. Then the partner who was joined in last went to the seats across from us to play with guys over there, which was less than 5 feet away, while me and his partner kept playing.

Then the brown-haired White guy came back interrupting us. He was trying to get my playmate to come with him. This is when  the racism driving attitudes of sexual White entitlement make the guilty step on the toes of another White guy. For when dealing with a couple, you have to first acknowledge their dynamic and play rules. I could obviously see that this couple had the rules of being able to play separately, but stay in the same area. So while his partner was playing a few feet away, I knew my playmate wasn't going anywhere. And I'm not such a narcissistic bastard that I felt it was out of obligation to me. I was well aware that it was out of obligation to his partner. His obligation to his partner just happened to work to my advantage...and that White guy's bruised ego.

Too bad that White guy (who came back a number of times) was so self-involved, and full of such a false sense of sexual entitlement that he never realized he was overstepping. Overstepping that even though he did not succeed, Karma will bite him hard in the ass (and maybe his dick) for trying so many times out of sheer undeserving arrogance.


The cause of these instances lie in the pages of gay media rags, gay porn, gay nightlife and the magazines and websites promoting all of them. And it's not just Whites who can be found with such a false sense of their sex appeal and their worth to the ccommunity. Some ligh-complexioned Latinos and tall, dark-skinned, gym-bodied Black males - in short, those epitomized in gay media as the best of each ethnicity, tend to also exhibit these traits. But it's more seen in Whites. Proof of this is seen by how many of the complaints we have about our community can be seen in those sources parading the aforementioned as the best there is. But who runs those sources? Mainly racist White males, who if they claim to like people of color at all are more quick to fetishize them. And who are the other people of color who should be speaking on this issue staying quiet to appease? Their fellow sellout people of color, and...racist White males.

That's why people like me are their worst nightmare. For my responses (in words and actions) like in the aforementioned incidents bring them back to the reality that they know, but don't want to face about themselves...In sex appeal, or wisdom, they are NOT the best there is.

Well, you're welcome racist White bitches. Now, keep your hands off my conquests! Because trying to steal mine only shows that contrary to the racist White gay media hype, you're actually not good enough, therefore not man enough to get your own.