Evolution of My Bottoming

Back in my porn days, during one of my too many visits to Lucas Entertainment, Michael Lucas asked me if I could cum while being fucked. I told him sometimes. Well, the fact is that was a lie... then.

It's quite rare that I lie, but one of the few times I do is when I'm giving answers about myself that are lies at the time, but will actually be my truth in the future. So the reason I tell the lie is not out of an intent to lie, but because I can foresee that future so clearly that I refuse to verbalize how it is untrue at that present time.

With that said, as much as I hate to lie and being lied to, what I know of Michael Lucas and my own history of dealing with him makes me feel no regret about that lie.

Especially since a recent trip to CumUnion made that lie about myself back then finally become my truth today.

My French playmate pounded away at me, and I realized that my dick was semi-hard. That is not unusual when I bottom. But I am never compelled to jerk off. I'm always about enjoying the dick, and letting that be where all of my sexual pleasure comes from. This time, I decided to go for it. As soon as I started jerking off, I could feel my physical orgasm coming. In fact, it grew in me slowly getting me to the point of ejaculation. And when it happened, I thought, "Oh my God, it's happening! HOW is this happening???".

I could feel the cum start oozing from my dick and onto the side of my finger. Then an even greater shock happened... I wasn't done.

I kept cumming. With the intensity of the orgasms growing, leading my cum load to grow as well. I surmise it was a cumload like the one from me playing with my SackJack.

However, even with that heightened intensity, I still wanted my playmate to keep his dick sliding back and forth in my ass tunnel. He did. And with not one single request to stop from me.


I have never been one who could masturbate while bottoming, then shoot a cumload. I could however do it while using an anal sex toy. With that, I always surmised that it was because, unlike with a human being, while using a sex toy, one doesn't have to focus on an actual human being's needs, desires, and in-the-flesh beauty for sexual fulfillment at that moment. But even without cumming from jerking off during sex, the sex still usually satisfied me. So I resolved myself to how the mental orgasm I spoke of in an article for Thotyssey is what I would always have with a guy.

I always wondered though that if and when I finally jerked off and came while bottoming if I was going to be one of those guys who once they orgasmed, would they end the sex. Thankfully, that was not the case.

This concerned me because as I have said before, if I'm getting good dick, I become an insatiable power bottom.

Keyword - INSATIABLE. Meaning keep going because their is no ending to this pleasure for me.

For I have always loved, loved, LOVED, LOVED  a hot guy's dick in my ass. Hating when the time comes that he has to take it out because life happens.

So I always feared a physical orgasm from my body's penile satisfaction while bottoming would make me go back on my word. Since the typical response to a male's penile orgasm includes an end to the sex. The mental orgasm I get knowing the pleasure my body is giving my sex partner allows the sex to continue.

We later sat cuddled together on the sofa upstairs. Just enjoying sharing a space with each other. I know it sounds romantic, even though it was a sex party. But that's the kind of energy I give off.

My sexual energy gives off my true view of sex - a physical and spiritual connection. Many gay males don't have the depth and/or maturity to handle that even at a sex party. If they're a top, their hard-ons are sparked by guys who they see as empty vessels to take their cock in. And if they're bottoms, they're holes widen for guys who they see as empty vessels who don't really care about in who they put their dicks. In any case, even if they talk to the person, such actions shows that they are drawn to someone who has less respect for their own humanity.

Anyway, we got so comfortable that neither one of us realized that we had both fallen asleep. We woke up because the party's host came upstairs to announce that the venue was preparing for Encore, the after-hours party held Fridays and Saturdays at Paddles. The host saw us on the sofa as he headed back downstairs. Teasing us by asking "When's the wedding?", because the last time my playmate was in New York, we met up at Paddles, and the host saw us cuddled together then as well. Like I said, I give off that kind of sexual energy, and a sweet few are deep and mature enough to embrace it.

Luckily, that nap re-energized us. We saw the after-hours crowd come in and be horny as fuck. We watched, but never got up from the sofa to get involved. I liked his naked skin against mine so I kept stroking his thigh, and occasionally kissing his chest as I leaned on it, and reached up to kiss his neck. The entire time, he kept stroking my shoulder and kissing on me.

Knowing he is inspired by watching people fuck, I started fondling his dick and balls, even before the after-hours crowd arrived. He was getting semi-erect before then. But once the after-hours crowd came in, he got harder, and harder.

What really sparked him into action was how while I was on my playmate's left, a Black guy was getting a blowjob to his right. The Black guy and my playmate started touching each other. The Black guy reached to include me, and I reciprocated by rubbing the smooth skin of his forearm, and reaching across my playmate so I could continue the travel of my hand to reach and massage the Black guy's shoulder.

This went on long enough that my playmate's dick got rock-hard and wanted to fuck my hole yet again. He was trying to include the Black guy by having the Black guy fuck him while he fucked me. You see, my playmate is actually quite skilled in a fuck-train. Hence the following tweet the following afternoon:

Thinking back to last night's @CumUnion NYC hosted by @MilkNYC, and how skilled my playmate is at being the center of a fuck-train.

He finds his top's fuck-rhythm, then copies it, so I (as his bottom) feel that same rhythm, but with his dick.

OMG!!! That Frenchman can fuck!!!!

— LeNair Xavier (@LeNairXavier) May 25, 2019

However, the Black guy never took my playmate up on the invitation. So it was just me and my playmate once again. That re-energizing nap led to my playmate thrusting into my ass for what must have been about an hour or more in various parts of Paddles. Eventually, he came inside me. I could feel the throbs of his cock as he let out his load. This was when I went back to a mental orgasm. Because at no point during that entire hour (or more) of bottoming did I stroke my cock. I was so turned on by his body in me and on me that I needed nothing else to stimulate me.

In any case, I'm thinking back on the pleasure of both Acts I and II. Learning I can now get off by both a mental and physical orgasm. This leads to new sexual information about my bottoming that I didn't know before.

So now, there is versatility within my versatility. 😉

Open Letter To A Jealous Cunt From The Cock

The other night at The Cock, I ran into a guy I've made out with a couple of times before there. He told me that after our last meeting, a guy that he had never met before came up to him right after I left and said to him, "That guy you were with... He has AIDS."

So the following is my open letter response to whomever this guy is who said that about me...

Dear Jealous Cunt From The Cock,

I understand you told a playmate of mine that I have AIDS. To correct you, I do not have AIDS. I am HIV+. And to top it off, I am undetectable, and have been for a number of years now. So I am untrasmittable, and probably much to your chagrin, nowhere near death due to HIV, AIDS, or any other disease for that matter. For also probably much to your chagrin, I am in great health.

Perhaps you said that I had AIDS without knowing about my publicly revealing my HIV+ status. If such is the case, then you're just an envious asshole.

However, if you did tell that lie because of coming across my online revelation, then you're not only an asshole. You're also a fucking idiot.

For like I said, I publicly revealed my HIV+ status already. I uploaded a video to my Vimeo, then shared it via my Facebook & Twitter, posted a snippet on my Instagram account, wrote a post about that revelation on my blog, and recently made it an ongoing series with an article on KinksterMag. So even if I didn't tell him about my status at that time, which I did not, I had already put it in enough places online that it was only a matter of time before he found out. Whether by my revealing it to him directly, or his discovering it by chance.

With that said, I must say THANK YOU.

For you maliciousness gave me the opportunity to reveal to him the truth of my status. The reason I hadn't said anything to him thus far about my being HIV+ is because for me, one of the gifts of being undetectable is that my HIV+ status is no longer on the forefront of my mind in my social meetings. I take my medication everyday, and it is no longer a weight weighing on my mind. I drink, but don't get drunk. Nor do I do do drugs. So I am not doing anything that can be counterproductive to my HIV treatment.

That is why as I turn 48 this Sunday, I can look this good, and be healthier than many 20 and 30-somethings who drink excessively and do drugs. Here is a recent picture to remind you:

Now, the ignorance and internal ugliness that it took for you to make such a statement about me to a stranger makes one question if you can say the same as I about your alcohol and/or drug intake. Were you drunk? Were you high?

Actually,... who gives a fuck?! Whether you are substance-free of not, your action was a clear display of your ENVY. Your UGLY SOUL. You being CUNTy.

Whether you were lusting for me, or lusting for my playmate, you lost your shot at both. For if you at some point wanted me, this has definitely sealed your fate that there will never be a "we" between you and me. And my playmate's reaction to your actions shows he has no interest in you either.

Hence why FYI -  He and I are still cool.

So next time you want to try a move like this, I strongly advise you to not only get your facts straight. But make sure I never learn who you are.

You see, if your story was created by reading my blog at all, then out of your maliciousness, you have conveniently ignored the history of my blogging. One that has a history of putting gay bars, clubs, media sites, porn studios, porn actors, and their  managers on blast by name for their ignorance against me and/or one or more of my communities. So you are not safe from being dealt the same if I ever learn who you are.

The only thing saving you from being put on blast with photos and links to your social media now is the fact that my playmate did not point you out to me. And I think he's nice enough not to. But if he ever does, you had better pray that I don't know you well enough by name and/or face. Otherwise, everyone will know by name how hideous you are on the inside, which in many's eyes will make its way to the outside. That is if it hasn't already.

So your best bet to avoid a more public well-deserved public shaming that this open letter is show yourself, and come to me like a man with an honest apology. Have a good day.

How A Versatile Bottom Tops

Many versatile bottoms top so seldom that when they do top, they surprise even themselves. At least that's been the claim of every versatile bottom that has topped me. Well my thought is they have a dick, and all of our cock's naturally crave to penetrate or be massaged for stimulation. Even if it's the palm of our own hand. So a bottom suddenly deciding to top is not an impossibility. A fact I can definitely testify to.

For it seems that I have a history of leading versatile bottoms to have topping moments. The way these moments came about was by me not doing much. This leads me to wonder what did I do, or what do I have to make them feel so comfortable and confident about topping me.  Well, I've come to realize that it's at least 3 of these 4 things:

Give them the option
As I mentioned earlier, my bottoming for versatile bottoms often resulted from me without warning, being put into a bottoming position when I initially thought that they would be assuming that position. Such was the case with my playmate from "Prince Albert Goes Inside". I showed up intending to be a top, got rimmed by my intended bottom, then the next thing I knew, he lubed up my ass, and put his cock in me, fucking my ass hard for almost 45 minutes straight. Some would say instances such as that border on rape. I beg to differ. For as the old saying goes, "you can't rape the willing". And that's what has happened each time for me.

Early on in our meeting, I asked if they were top, bottom, or versatile. They at first say "bottom", then they say "versatile bottom". If I reveal my being versatile after, I always tell them that if at any time they feel the desire to top me, don't be afraid to take advantage. And I've enjoyed each time they took advantage.

Don't dwell on it

When I tell a versatile bottom to not be afraid to take advantage, I tell them that one time, and if I see them more than once, I hardly ever bring it up again. I might say that they have a beautiful dick, but I'm not pressuring them to put that beautiful cock inside my ass. It's more so to give them a blowjob. 

Because with no huffing on poppers required - I love, love, LOVE, LOVE sucking dick. The entire journey of it from looking at it up close before it goes in my mouth, to the taste of its head and skin. And I love to taste and swallow the cum that fills my mouth because of my cocksucking skills. And I always let any bottom I'm sucking on know that's why I'm so eager to suck their cock. The discussion about him topping me, was already said and done, so moving on.... until he's ready.

Give them confidence

You have to give a versatile bottom confidence that they are not less of a man because they bottom. I feel the need to give them that confidence because gay males are too often their own worst enemy by stigmatizing being a bottom. Or being versatile, like myself for that matter. Because it's a common act in porn for bottoms to be belittled, and a common "joke" in gay comedy and drag shows in a demeaning way to label someone as a bottom when they admit to being any degree versatile. Because of this, a versatile bottom doesn't often feel confident enough to admit to their own versatility. For most of the gay male community has now been taught to not acknowledge it. So I try to let my invitation to let them top me give them a safe place for their versatility to shine.

For if you help a guy that's any degree of a bottom to feel that bottoming does not lessen their manhood, it might lessen their anxiety in using their dicks as part of the play when they're with you. I surmise that media-induced anxiety might also be a reason why so many bottoms use poppers to  loosen up. Because if you're truly confident in your bottoming, even if it takes a couple of tries, you'll relax to accommodate the cock(s) you want to take in with no chemical required.

Due to the aforementioned confidence-killers, you instilling confidence in your partner is also necessary if your versatile bottom is not that well-endowed. When you give him the option to top you, if he notes the size of his cock as a reason why he doesn't top, inform him as to how you're not a size-queen. Now, I did say as a previous step to not dwell on it. In this case, if he brings up doubt about his size more than once, then you re-assure him each time as a response.

Have a nice ass
This is what in the introduction of this list that I was referring to as the "what do I have" to inspire versatile bottoms to top me. And it makes perfect sense for it to be so. I'm sure that my sexcapades in which I inspired a versatile bottom to top would have never happened if not for the aforementioned previous steps, as well as me having this ass that I am often complimented on.

This is not to say that using the previous 3 steps without what you think is a great ass won't inspire a versatile bottom to top you if you want him to. Because just like giving our hearts to love is inspired by traits within a person, those same traits within a partner can also create that spark to make us give our bodies to lust.


With only 4 steps, it doesn't take a lot of steps to get a versatile bottom unsure to his topping skills to become more self-assured. What it might take a lot of however is patience. For the damaged done to the male ego by the aforementioned confidence-breakers might take awhile to undo. So if you're willing to wait it out, you may in due time get a truly versatile bottom. One that might even go from versatile bottom, to totally versatile.

Either way, your patience will be rewarded.

Sexual Narrow Mind

Many things in the gay community dictate the perceptions and sexpectations we gay males have of one another. Based on everything  from our skin color, age, exhibitionism level, sexual orientation, etc.

The problem is... many of them lead to life as a lonely single gay male, using certain sexual exploits to overcompensate.

Unfortunately, the main influencers to this problem among us are once again, gay media, porn, and nightlife. For our straight parents can't tell us what it means to be a gay male. Add to that how many running outlets of those aforementioned gay sources tell you to do away with even the decent principles your straight parents taught you, you will then end up with gay males having ignorant and limiting outlooks.

Sadly, they will always be the main contributors to this problem until a complete overhaul is done. One that adds new blood to surge through the veins of these influential sources. New blood from those who are more self-assured, ethical, non-racist, therefore more representational of our country's rainbow of skin color. When that happens the relevance of poems like "Sexual Narrow Mind" will no longer be.


Sexual Narrow Mind from LeNair Xavier on Vimeo.

Breeding Black Armor By White Insecurity

People are the products of their environment. These environments have often programmed their proclaimed standards long before you met them. If those standards contradict your own, those signs of that environment might fade a bit in your presence. Unfortunately, like a computer, they often reboot in that person when they leave your presence.

So since most media, events, and the most-respected people in gay society do not teach inclusiveness, we have moments where some (mainly blacks) get overwhelmed feeling like the outsider. Even if they normally forge head-first into the situation as a means to combat it, like myself.

Such a situation has people wearing an armor, even if the event has us totally naked. And with that, there comes a point when that armor must come off. You can and should take the armor off yourself. Otherwise, it will fall off unexpectedly. Resulting in awkward, and sometimes dangerous situations.

I usually take the armor off myself. By either the event ending in time, or me removing myself from the situation. Recently at a party however, I didn't do the latter, and the armor fell off. Thereby creating, not a dangerous situation, but definitely an awkward one.

The host had no idea as to what caused my usually cool, calm, and collected self to suddenly bolt out the door. I later explained giving a much more condensed version of what I'm saying here now.

Many black males experience this, but will seldom (if ever) reveal it out loud. Meanwhile, those whites and light people of color whose selfishness refuse to discuss racism since they so massively benefit from it need to learn empathy and compassion.

At the aforementioned party, I was fine a t first. However, the smaller the crowd got the more I felt the energy making me "the black man in the room". Many black male party-goers feel this. Either drinking themselves into stoopers, or making themselves the main drug connection for whites, and getting high with those whites to avoid feeling the reality of being "the black man in the room". That's why I'm more prone to address it. I'm always sober enough to see it, feel it, therefore remember every detail to acknowledge our community's moments of progress, but too often lack thereof.

Like I said, this is something I, and every other black male feels at just about any gay event in this country. And the only way to avoid it is to exile ourselves further by attending all-black parties like the one I mentioned in a Facebook post I wrote about a Latino I played with at a CumUnion party. And as a born and raised New Yorker, therefore a born and raised American, I should not have to exile myself like I'm in Pre-Civil Rights Movement America when the year is 2017. Especially when the heads of gay media, party promoters, and porn producers further inciting this racism are transplants to this multi-colored and multi-ethnic mecca that is my home.

Any black male you meet telling you they know not of what I speak is in denial. Either that, or they're telling you a bold-face lie to cover the guilt racially insensitive whites and bougie people of color try laying on us. Calling us blacks who speak honestly on this matter, "angry black men" if we dare to bring this matter up.

The question created by these situations are:
Why are blacks and other darker people of color still being made to feel inferior, when they are not by any means?

Well, the answer is the same as it has been throughout American history. It's what brought forth slavery. It's what brought forth segregation. It's what brought forth gender inequality along with too many other forms of inequality... WHITE MALE INSECURITY.

This insecurity is born out of how it is very likely encoded in our DNA that when we are put on any kind of pedestal, we fear the day (and way) we fall off of it. And it is inevitable that we will fall off of it. For every thing man produces has mortality.

So a white male's time on a pedestal appearing as the epitome of sex, beauty, and intellect; light-complexioned people of various ethnicities given those same props because the whites running media consider them as "passing"; all of the aforementioned seeing a person of a darker color or certain ethnicity, and initially liking what they see, but turn their eyes away just as quickly because the programming kicks in to think of those people as "ugly"; and for all of them, youth being their ticket to climbing that segregated ladder...

ALL OF IT WILL DIE AT SOME POINT. Ageism dismissing older gays will start it on its way. As for its final resting place, maybe not in my lifetime, or yours, but these ways of life will die. And no matter how much of a bravado is put on by those benefiting from that racism, every one of those people are dreading the day their time of being seen as a stud, a muse, or a genius dies.

Worst part of it is that for generations, these gay males still have never realized, therefore ignored teaching the next generation that the more they play into that racism, the more they act entitled to its perceived benefits, the more it's going to hurt when it's time to come down. It's probably because each generation had and has an arrogance saying things like, "I like what I like just because" or worst, "It will never happen to me."

Well, don't we already see the signs that beg to differ? For you can't miss seeing in the bars and clubs, the lonely old white and light-complexioned males buying lapdances and "alone time" with go-go boys. And long before that and very much on-going, how older guys are the main clients for escorts/prostitutes. So basically, those younger gays doing these gigs, are doing so for their lonely future selves.

How much worst does it have to get for us to realize that this RACISM (sexual and otherwise) NEEDS TO STOP???!!! All of this makes it clear how actions like this racism in the gay community creates a chain of livelihoods that shouldn't even be called "livelihoods". For they are making our community put on a happy face when in all actuality, we are imploding.

Therefore, all of the aforementioned acts create a path that benefits no one.

Introducing X-Rayed Sex

In case you don't know, a few months ago, I did an interview for the Glam Award-winning Tumblr blog, Thotyssey. Now, as the blog's author Jim Silvestri tries branching out with the blog, he's allowing for a sex column, and I have thrown my name in the hat to be the column's author. In using that column to be an extension to the mission towards sexuality with this blog, I have titled the column,

"X-Rayed Sex".

My first topic for the column examines why in interracial relationships with a black male is the black male so often the top. Is there a perception to blame? If so, who or what gets the blame? Why won't we question this matter? Where does this ordained role for gay black males leave black bottoms? And who (regardless of color/ethnicity) wins in the end?

All of these questions will be answered in that post. So please, check it out:

Many Black Tops... So Many Non-Black Bottoms

Porn-Induced PTSD

The other day, I posted on Facebook about an incident that occurred the night before at The Cock's underwear party, Playpen, in which a guy from my past invaded my personal space. As I was writing about that incident, I realized that while being angry about someone invading your personal space is a natural and justified response, I saw myself get on the verge of violence. And it's not the 1st time that violent urge has occurred as an instantaneous response. Luckily for me, having outlets like my drawing and writing have been my therapy to hold the monster back.

This initial violent urge started after I retired from doing gay porn. Don't get me wrong. I have always been protective of my personal space, as everyone should be. However, my 1st response would be to instinctively yell at my violator. Much like a dog barks at a violator to warn them to not proceed with that violation, for an attack with violence will be the next action. The problem is after I retired from porn, I see now that my initial reaction to violations of my personal space has me having to force myself to do the instinctive yell. For my more instinctive initial reaction is to get violent to protect my personal space. Realizing that let me know something is wrong. So now I had to figure out what exactly is wrong.

What I have concluded is that it's some kind of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) brought on by my time in porn. And if you are a gay male, and this claim seems odd to you, then it's a hideous sign of how we as gay males are taught to have no boundaries for who we let touch our bodies, unless based on superficial credentials. Such as skin color and financial standing.

As gay males, we are led by many to allow any- and everybody to touch us. It started from the high number of gay youths who had to turn to prostitution after being thrown out of their homes by hypocritical Jesus freak parents/guardians. So it was a means of survival. For them. The problem now is that the chain of abuse has been put in play. For older gay males are prostitutes' primary clientele. So they teach the newly out gays that letting yourself be touched, no matter how disgusted you are by the person is how you survive. It's how you get ahead.

This is especially true in gay nightlife. Even more so if they're willing to tip. You are to let it be a stroke to your ego, because such appreciation for your beauty won't last forever. Well, I'm 45 and patrons still try stroking my ego - so so much for that theory.

Now, for those times that a patron is a cheap piece of shit who cops a feel without tipping, you're allowed your human nature to be annoyed by that patron feeling entitled to your body just because you're scantily clad. However, the desired reaction from you by most patrons, party promoters, and venue owners is to suck it up to avoid making a scene. And in the gay community, since the worlds of nightlife often lead to gay porn that set of rules follow. Rules that I myself allowed.

For when I was in porn, I would go out and be a lot more permissive of guys touching me, even if I didn't want them to. It was a means to sell a love for the porn persona.

Now, with me no longer needing to sell that image, my body is 100% MINE. I can be out and about in my undies or naked at an underwear or nude party, and feel no obligation to be touched if I don't want to. And my being in my underwear or naked entitles no one to put their hands on my body without an invitation from me via eye contact or verbal means.

I've long realized that the porn industry as a whole gives a false sense to performers that they own their own bodies. Unfortunately, the fact is it's the studio you're an exclusive for that owns your body. If you're not a studio exclusive, like I never was, then that ownership of your body is being passed along like a baton in a relay race. So regardless as to whether you are a studio exclusive or not, your body is never yours. And it will never be yours again until you leave the industry. This realization is what gave birth to my poem, "Boss of My Body".


This aftermath of being in porn further proves why I'm right to advise guys to not get in it. It's an ongoing process of no longer living that life. Maybe I would have less of these conflicts with guys invading my personal space if I wasn't an exhibitionist. However, that doesn't diminish the fact that I have a right to be an exhibitionist in an allowing space. It doesn't diminish the fact that "No" means NO the 1st time. Nor does it exonerate the guys who invade my personal space from deserving shame for their blatant social ineptitude that makes them disregard my saying "NO".

Violence as punishment is something I hope to continue to avoid. I have used various art forms as therapy to avoid it thus far, and I plan on continuing to do so.

With that said, I do feel for those past and present in the porn industry who are suffering from that stress, or will be in the future. For the lights of their porn-stardom will fade on them at some point. Either by their own choice, and/or by an undesired exile by the industry's ongoing desire to prey upon the desperation for validation and naivete in newer and younger models. Thereby, kicking out who they feel is old and overexposed.

So I wonder, will they mature as I have? Will they realize that there is a problem? If so, do they have the means to get those feelings out like I do? Or will it eat them up inside, and cause them to act out? Or will they do as most (if not all) present porn directors who used to be porn actors?...Start their own porn company with the same rules they were taught, thereby leading the chain of porn-induced PTSD to continue.

For some, these questions have already been answered. For others, all we can do is wait, and hope for the best. Unfortunately, as long as the industry continues to endorse prostitutes and gay-for-pay bitches in denial before exhibitionists, it's sad to say that we must expect the worst, while hoping for the best.

Naked Parties: Freedom & Openness Unveiled

I have either been to, or plan to attend a variety of naked parties. Some have been cocktail parties. Others were game nights. Some are naked drink-n-draws. And there are even some naked movie nights that I've been told about. 

Nudity is natural beauty of the human body. A natural beauty that can just be admired for ridding us of the pretentiousness clothes often bring to us. Or it can be a natural beauty that is considered sexy. Unfortunately, we Americans usually don't associate nudity with being calming or sexy. Instead, we are taught that with nudity... comes deplorable sex, and one cannot exist without the other. Hence why naked parties are seen as taboo here, while other parts of the globe are finding my need to write this post totally unnecessary. Well, let me tell you that is not at all the case.

A naked party might allow sex. However, that depends on the rules established by the host and/or the venue. And whatever their rules are, we must respect them. But sex does not have to be on the agenda when a naked party is being planned. The primary goal of a naked party is to give its guests a place to be free to show their true selves, because it's quite likely their time in clothes denies them of that so much.

Clothes are often a mask. An obstruction to seeing the natural beauty of the naked human form. I realize now why I have for a long time secretly hated the expression, "Clothes make the man". In fact, if you take a moment and think about it, most people who cherish that expression tend to be the most pretentious, shallow creatures you will ever know. For it speaks volumes of one's integrity when they feel of greater value by putting on the mask that is clothes, instead of being true to themselves and what their individual nature craves are. So speaking of cravings, let's explore what can happen when sex, or even simple courtship enters the mix at a naked party. 

Brace yourself! For in your being naked, you might find yourself attracted to someone you wouldn't normally be attracted to if you were clothed. Don't fear this. Instead, go with it. For the absence of clothes has left you to focus on the most important parts of a person. Parts you can't see with the naked eye, but instead feel with your heart, mind, and soul... Their intellect and personality. So nudity gives you more of the person's inner-being to focus on. A gift only the deepest of us will cherish, and the shallow will fear and dismiss. 

Now, of course we are talking mostly about parties where alcohol is in the mix. So depending on how you behave when alcohol hits your system, you will behave in 1 of 3 ways to an attraction. You'll either: 

• A) allow your inhibitions to lower. Let them undo what you've been taught by society and media in regards to what is the "right" color and/or body size to like. Let the new sensation of openness towards a different color or body size takeover. I can definitely attest to this. For I'm not normally attracted to husky guys. However, I have been to some naked parties, and not just made out with one or more husky guys, but had full-on sex with them. And wouldn't mind doing it again. All because of the focus on the inner-being that the nudity at that party made happen;  
• B) revert back to the rules you live by when you're clothed by interacting only with colors and body sizes deemed "socially acceptable" by your clothed clique. This is especially the case if people from that clothed clique are physically present, or too present in your mind. In which case comes the possibility of; 
• C) you'll have moments of see-sawing between (A) and (B).

One added plus that I have come to notice at naked parties is that there is less unwanted touching at a naked party than at a bar/club's underwear party. Unwanted touching has happened to me at a bar's underwear party whether I'm wearing close to nothing, and so is the person trying to molest me, or by some clothed asshole who takes the rapist mindset of saying "since you're damn near naked, you asked for it." Proving my aforementioned point of how too many Americans treat nudity as being forever co-joined to sex. At naked parties however, I have yet to have this problem. For the nudity brings an ease to everyone to not be on edge. We can lower our guards and be more ourselves than when we dress up in uniforms, suits, and costumes to go to work, or even a clothed friend/family gathering.

And I believe such a freedom is what we were put on this earth to experience. That's why I proudly confess that I have been writing this entire post NAKED WITH NO SHAME. And I hope it inspires you to go to a safe space, or create one where you can do the same.

Why Gays Huff Poppers

Besides peer pressure from gay males making you believe if you don't do it, then you won't be desirable; Besides seeing so many gay males doing it at sex parties and backrooms, which transfers to their private spaces; Besides gay porn reaching such a low in the ignorance they teach new gays and further the social death of old,...EVERYTHING HAS A ROOT.

And gay males using poppers is no different.

The problem is it is a rotting root.

For the reason so many gay males do poppers is the same as with any other drug. They're trying to escape. They're trying to escape the voices of their anti-gay oppressors past, present, and future that still lurk in their minds while doing a gay act.

This is now becoming such an epidemic that gay males' actions today show that poppers, which was once believed to make it easier for bottoms to have anal sex, is now used for every part of gay sex. From blowjobs, to topping, and even voyeurism of gay sex. So it's not the just doing the act of gay sex they're trying to numb themselves to their unnecessary shame of. It's also the unnecessary shame of viewing gay sex. So as much as many will refuse to admit it, as much as it is enabled by various aspects of the gay community, this enabled escapism, this enabled cowardice is now becoming the greatest drug epidemic within our community due to how long it has been enabled by our community.

This acceptance and enabling of poppers show today's gay males who act as if they're more of a man than the gay males of the past to be total frauds unto themselves. Because before some huffing addict(s) influenced others into using poppers, many gay males of the past still got through anal sex with a big enough smile on their face for homosexual sex to continue.

So what is wrong with so many gays today???!!!

There is obviously something wrong when we start telling each other to have a chemical high when we so much as not just make out with our same sex partner, but watch same sex happening. And treating the acts of foreplay and sex themselves as if their high will never be enough.

Sex itself is enough of a high when taken the way nature intended. If you can't feel that, then why fuck???

For so many gays acting like they need poppers to have gay sex further justifies every right-wingers claim that gay sex is unnatural. Therefore, every popper-user is making us our own worst enemy. Undoing all of the progress gay rights activists (who are not substance-abusers) have been doing for so long to show right-wingers that our being gay and the sex we have is natural. Well, how well are you sending that message if you can't get through sex without huffing on a chemical that's lethal if directly ingested orally, and will destroy your brain cells definitely (and maybe your lungs) over time?

Regardless of how many gays over time have enabled the use of poppers by passing it to a "fuck-buddy", or advertisers and retailers making its intended illegal use of huffing go under the radar of legal authorities by prettying up the name by calling them "cleaning solvents" or "electrical contact cleaners", the use of poppers is still a slow mental and physical suicide for anyone using them. Since the chemical fumes are dangerous, especially if inhaled that closely.

The reason they use the terms "cleaning solvents", "video head cleaner", or "electrical contact cleaner" is to escape criminal prosecution for selling an illegal substance. Because if used for their original purpose, cleaning solvents are not illegal. HOWEVER, the reason you would you walk into a sex shop to buy cleaning solvents ---huffing, is illegal. Thereby making someone requesting them by the terminology that makes the intent for that illegal use obvious (poppers) also illegal.

So "cleaning solvents" and "electrical contact cleaners" is a bullshit words for "poppers". I bring this up because the term "cleaning solvents" was recently used to tell the cause of death of gay porn actor King B is to lessen the reality of how many gay males live lives where such a death can easily be either abruptly repeated, or is slowly but surely happening now. And as far as we know, King B. may be the only porn actor to die from using poppers. But ask yourself this:..

...What about all of those porn actors who causes of deaths were never told to the public?

For if no details were given, we can easily rule out a transportation accident as cause of death. That therefore leaves, illness they never wanted told publicly, murder in a place that tarnishes their image, or drug overdose (including poppers) which further justifies the negative stigma about the porn world. In short, death that was in some way the result of their own bad choices.

Anyway, defenders and enablers of this gay self-destruction from poppers are the first to say that no study has been done to prove the long term effects of using poppers. Such a defense is a cop-out excuse for them to not even try using the brain cells that poppers have left for them to use. For you don't need to read a study from someone else to tell you the truth. Nature gave us eyes and a brain to observe things on our own, and take note of consequences for certain actions on our own. With that said, the only person who can't see how older guys who have used poppers for years have many instances where things don't register properly...is someone whose brain is either also at that bad point, or are on the road to that same bad point of brain functionality.

Once I came out to myself and lost my virginity, I believe I subconsciously made a credo for myself that made me not want alcohol, drugs, or any subastance during sex. Even though I have made no secret of my experimentation with drugs during some early sexual escapades, in the end, what has made me be so against substance abuse during sex is realizing how I feel about myself and my body as a man who has gay anal sex. The best words to sum those feelings up are:

I love my dick. I love my ass. I love having men I'm attracted to play with my dick and ass. I love licking, sucking, eating out, and fucking their dicks and asses. And I do it all with no shame. Because for the most part, I'm gay. Therefore, such cravings are my nature, which is a part of nature overall.

If every gay male made such a proclamation and actually meant it, then so many gay males wouldn't feel the need to use poppers for anal sex. For they would want nothing to distract the brain from receiving the message from the nerve endings in your dick and ass to give you the unmatched high of sex. For sex is such a great enough high all its own when done right that it needs no enhancement. And part of sex being done right means being done without the shame your oppressors (namely prudes, religious uptights, and homophobes) have impressed upon you. The reason we are having this epidemic of popper use is because in regards to feeling no shame over their gay selves, many gay males do the talk, but they don't do the walk. 

With that said, no gay using poppers has any right to criticize a popper-huffing gay-for-pay bitch in denial like Vadim Black (as he admitted to huffing on MTV's True Life). Because Vadim Black huffs (and dopes) out of shame of his gay self. 

And if you're huffing on poppers, you're huffing out of shame of your gay self as well.

With all that I've told about myself from my time in porn until now, I am by no means a prude, oppressor, or homophobe. I have your best interest at heart. I want you to have the most mentally and emotionally (leading to physically) healthy sex possible. If I am to stand by my credo, I cannot treat poppers as a thing to call a simple matter of choice like condom use, which may or not be done with healthy intent. However, no matter what you may have been told about doing poppers, short or long term, HUFFING ON POPPERS HAS NO HEALTHY INTENT OR OUTCOME.

It is for this reason that I have decided to never date a guy I know does poppers. It's bad enough tolerating the use of them from a one-night stand, a sex party or backroom tryst, but it's even more disrespectful coming from a significant other. For when you have sex YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO BE THE ONE & ONLY HIGH for your sex partner(s), and you theirs. And I have reached the point where I refuse to compete with a bottle that at it's smallest is a little less than 2 inches tall. Making it at least 33 times shorter than my 5'6" self.

So in closing, I'm glad to hear that British Parliament is proposing a ban on poppers. I don't know the exact motive. Maybe it's putting capitalism aside for the sake of people's sexual well-being. But based on all what I have said of the real reason gay males use them and the long-term effects I've witnessed, doesn't it tell you something is wrong in our community if the other possibility for this proposed ban on poppers is to make us gays unable to have sex? It means we've as a whole (including political shithead Crispin Blunt) have put out an image of us not being man enough to joyfully have sex without chemicals.

So every time a gay man considers huffing on poppers, as he's putting that bottle to his nose, he needs to think about how enabling and encouraging the use of poppers has shown gay behavior in such a bad light. Then at that point, STOP.