I Will NOT Be Mr. Mistress

One night I met this hot guy at The Cock. About my height (5'6"), and build, with brown hair. We fooled around. We parted ways at some point during that night. Time passed, and I recently ran into him again at a bar.

This time when I saw him, all was the same. I was still very much attracted to him, and he was still very much attracted to me. We started making out like we were meeting for the first time all over again. And it kind of was like that. Since we both forgot each other's names. So we had to re-introduce ourselves to each other.

His kiss. His intensity of that kiss and holding me. That nice ass I grabbed that made me want to lay on my back and be fucked missionary anywhere, even that concrete floor of the bar. None of it had changed. However, there was something this time around that made me feel I should leave him alone. I just didn't know what.

He did just as he did before. Make out with me, then vanish. Probably playing with whomever, then coming back to me. But even more so this time, whatever that something about me that made me different from other guys he made out with there, enough to come back, it seemed to grow that night. For this time, he said he wanted to fuck me.

Once I considered it, he asked where could we go. Because as it turned out, he didn't want to find a dark corner, or slip into a bathroom, lock the door, and fuck there. So the problem was that neither of us could go back to our homes. Even knowing this, he still wanted to keep making out with me. Using his eyes, lips, mouth, hands, and fingers to get as close as possible to an idea of what it would be like to be inside me, and thrust away at me. His taking breaks from kissing me to look me in the face. His hands pulling up my shirt to feel then kiss my torso and nipples, and sliding down my pants to feel and grope my ass.

As he felt my ass, his eagerness to get that idea of fucking my hole grew. So he feverishly undid my belt to make it easier to put his finger on my asshole. He pulled it out of my pants then I put it in my mouth to wet it. It was my way of letting him inside. I sucked on his finger, licking it like I wanted to do his dick. He then returned his now wet finger into my pants. With my lust and willingness for him to be inside me in any way possible making me relax my asshole, he slid his finger inside me. Moving slowly back and forth, then doing hard in and out thrusts into me. Using his finger to be where he was wishing his dick was instead.

During breaks within this heavy make-out session, we asked questions of each other. I asked him where he was from since I heard an accent. He said he was Irish, but was born in Queens. He asked the same of me, and I told him. I later asked where did he live now. He then answered, "In Queens...with my girlfriend."

I was not prepared for that answer. Nor was I prepared for how that simple question of mine would be the question leading to the answer as to why I was initially telling myself that night to reject his approaching me to fool around. But the only way to know for sure was to ask my next question.

So I asked him, "Does your girlfriend know about this side of you (being some degree gay), and being here?"

He answered, "No". Then made it more certain that I should have backed away when he approached me. For he then added, "You probably like that."

I responded, "Actually,...I don't. I could get off on seeing the 2 of you fuck. But I'm not really cool with her not knowing you like to play with guys."

And it's true. I could get off on watching him fuck his girlfriend. In fact, when he said the word "girlfriend", I was hoping when I asked if she knew about his gayness that he would say she did. That way, I would definitely have considered him a candidate for the bisexual 3-way that I recently mentioned as one for my To-Do list.

After this revelation however, the making out slowly died down. To the point that we had no choice but to part ways. Leaving us only to play with someone else to our liking. And hoping for better results.

What immediately came to my mind when he said that I probably liked him having a girlfriend not knowing about his gay sex was... What the fuck made him think I would want him even though he has an in-the-dark girlfriend?

It immediately came to me. The answer that keeps coming to me when I see one fucked up sexual perception after another within the gay male community... PORN.

Do you really think this young guy came up with the idea that I'd like being "the guy on the side" all on his own? No. He saw the tool we have all seen over time. Especially now since shit-show studios like IconMale and Men.com (just to name 2) make this idiocy a constant theme.
Repeatedly dodging their responsibility to the minds they are influencing by calling it "fantasy".

Also, mainstream gay magazines and websites greenlighting articles about how a gay can seduce a straight male don't help either. Even if at the end of the article, the editor gives it a negative criticism, such articles are often marketed by their titles baiting you into thinking such behavior is okay, when it's actually not. Far from it.

This is not to say that gay males are forbidden to fantasize about straight males. I would not have written my article for Kiiroo listing 5 porn actors who do straight porn that gays could like if that were the case. Nor would I have a subscription to LustCinema. But I am vehemently against presenting to impressionable gay minds the idea of playing with a guy on the down low. Hence my disgust with Lovari producing for The Original Latino Fan Club. And this guy seemed to be in his 20s, maybe early 30s with that bar's dim lighting. So this guy is the right age to get his information from watching gay porn that this was okay. Thinking that presenting himself as "straight" would make him more lusted after.

Yes, he would...by a self-loathing gay who is driven by the reality of "misery loves company". So in hating his gay life, what better way for such a gay person to feel accomplished than by "converting" a straight man to become gay, even for a night.

My time in the porn industry showed me that many older gays don't care about who gets misinformation, for they are looking for any display of sex to get them off, be it right or wrong. They give it a pass calling it a "fantasy". Never considering how some younger newly-out gay watched such porn. Thinking the scenario was plausible. So they tried taking up with a guy they were attracted to, but was on the down low. All to end up either physically harmed or dead by that guy on the down low. For after all, dead men tell no tales...and too often, neither do scarred ones.

With all this said, I have never denied how I am very sexual. However, I am even more so:

Self-respecting
I lived a life of denial before. It took me being 30 going on 31 before I came out to myself, and became sexual active. Doing so because I did not want to become like this guy. I no longer wanted to live a life of lying to myself about my orientation. For such a life is actually not a life. Hence why I spent so many years contemplating suicide. And I'll be damned if I'm going to tolerate, or enable such self-denial in someone else.

Intelligent
I learned from the hell I put myself through by trying to live as a totally straight male while I was and still am a predominately gay bisexual. So if I am as smart as I present myself to be, I will not enable anyone to live the same self-destructive lie I was trying to live.

Therefore, even more so;
Aware of Karma
So I am not going to fool around with you knowing that your girlfriend is (as far as you know) living in the dark about your degree of homosexuality. Homosexuality that is at such a fever pitch for you that you need to sneak to gay bars, some with a backroom, to get off on dick-to-male ass sexual interaction because your dick in her pussy is not enough. And she is unaware that her pussy is not enough for you.

OR is she aware? But is so desperate to not be alone (at least in word) that she turns a blind eye to all signs that he's betraying her trust. I said "in word" because his attempted betrayal with another person immediately made her spiritually alone.

Now, even if this guy said that his girlfriend knows about his cruising for males, and she's fine with it, it's highly unlikely that I would have left that bar to be alone with him. For if a guy tells you that he has a girlfriend, and that she's okay with him having sex with males, unless she's there to confirm that statement, that guy could too easily be lying to you. That's why that scenario is best left as a fantasy until you can get the female significant other's blessing.

All I will say in this guy's defense is this:
Many (especially in the gay community) having an issue with bisexuality is why there are guys like this one. For many, myself included have encountered that when you proclaim yourself to be bisexual, the stereotypical gay male with his ignorant hetero-phobia and Straights vs. Gays war going on in his head demands you to pick a side. So the guy might call themselves "straight" because heterosexuality might be the more dominant orientation in his bisexuality, just as I sometimes call myself "gay" because that's the more dominant orientation in my bisexuality. Or it might be that they just haven't thought of a term for their orientation as I have.

Even if they did take the time to come up with a logical term to define their sexual orientation, with so much adversity shown to bisexuals, not many take it upon themselves to do as I did. Letting their proclaiming themselves as bisexual say:

"Bi-phobic bitches can go fuck themselves with a spiked dildo! This is me! I'm a bisexual, and I like one gender more than the other. And I am self-aware enough to know which gender I want to have a relationship with, and which gender I just want to have sex void of romantic involvement with."

In any case, whether he defines as bisexual or straight, the fact remains that according to him, there is another woman involved. A woman who knows nothing about his gay sexcapades. And the way he was acting with me that night, he seemed like he might be trying to groom me to be his Mr. Mistress.

Well, for all the reasons stated before, that's not going to happen. So for a situation like this, the lyrics of Sir Ari Gold's song Mr. Mistress says everything I want to say to this guy, and guys like him...

When Pornstars & Their Lookalikes Fuck Alike

The night after Folsom Street East, I went to The Cock to unwind. I ran into a guy I met before. The last time we spoke however, a mutual acquaintance took up so much of his time that I told him, "Go fuck yourself!"

I thought that would make me memorable enough for him to never speak to me again. Well, for whatever reason, he still spoke to me. I figured saying the uniqueness of my name would definitely trigger the memory. Yet, it did not. Or did it? Considering that latter possibility is why I took his continuing the conversation without looking for an exit as him trying to have a do-over. An act I could easily admire since most gay males' narcissism won't even let them bother.

When I first met him, I thought he looked like some celebrity, but couldn't for the life of me figure out who. His look that night had changed since then, and at first, it still wasn't clear as to who he resembled. But once we started talking, then making out, it started going to the back of my mind. And the more he kissed me, the further back that thought got pushed.

We got back to his place, and soon started stripping. His tall, slim frame in black underwear with a gold waistband. And a full reveal of the moderate amount of hair on his chest and legs that I had been stroking while making out with him when he was in his tank top and shorts. Then soon after he bent over to pull down those undies to finally give me a view of the pièce de résistance - his cock.

I immediately dropped to my knees to give him a blowjob to reward him for revealing his cock. Not to toot my own horn, but he got hard pretty fast from my oral prowess. Hard and throbbing enough that we both knew that if I sucked him for much longer, he would have come before his dick got inside my ass. So he quickly picked me up off my knees and laid me on my back vertically on the bed. His tall, slim frame towering over me. We kissed passionately, then broke apart to look at each other. While staring into my eyes, he spit in his hand and tried shoving his spit-lubed cock inside me. Seeing this, I also used a spit lube on my hole.

Now, after all my talk about my tight hole needing lots of lube, using a spit-lube on my ass, and a guy getting inside might sound impossible. However, when I'm really into a guy, and the guy is not necessarily thick as a beer can, my hole will relax enough to let a guy in with only a spit-lube.

He started pounding my ass in missionary. Pounding harder and harder. I had no idea where to put my hands but I knew I desperately wanted them on him. As usual, I could care less about stroking my dick. He then moved further on the bed, repositioning himself horizontally. He told me to ride his cock, and I happily obliged.

While I rode his cock, he told me to do something I had never done before. He told me to choke him. So while I rode and grinded on his cock as it pleased my ass, I put my hands at the based on his neck and squeezed.

His request tp choke him made a face begin to form in my mind to answer my question of who he resembled. But it really came into full form, when we changed position again with him banging me from behind, and lightly pulling the sides of my mouth.

The face was that of straight male pornstar, Mark Ashley, who I have long been a fan of. Once I realized my playmate resembled him, I realized it was because Mark Ashely has passionately fucked his female scene partners doing very similar actions. So even though my playmate was a good deal slimmer and a tad more hairy, this guy's resemblance to Mark Ashley in his younger days just basically gives more life to my curiosity as to whether or not people who look alike fuck alike.

He kept pounding away until he came. I loved feeling his cock throb from shooting jizz inside me. As we laid there spooning in the afterglow, the last thing he said to me before we closed our eyes for the moment was, "Don't be surprised if you wake up with my dick in your ass."

I replied, "You won't get any argument out of me." Then we drifted off to sleep.

A couple of hours later, my 6th sense woke up because it felt someone's attention extremely focused on me. It, as it should have been, was my playmate, who I was still in a spooning position with. My 6th sense was alerting me to what was about to happen next, which was his hard cock rubbing against the crack of my ass because he was about to go in for Round 2. So had it not been for my 6th sense waking me up, my playmate would have been able to make good on his promise of having me wake up with his dick in my ass. So while it's nice to know my 6th sense is on point, this is an instance when I had wished it would taken a night off.

Most hookups that come from us leaving together and going to my place or his result in one fuck after we walk in the door, and another to please our morning wood. This time however, it resulted in 3 fucks. One when we walked in the door, another after we randomly woke up in the middle of the night, then the last about 2 hours after sunrise.

This third time, even with the sleeps in between, my body so was charged and sensitive from the 2 previous fucks that each of his thrusts into me was another stroke against my prostate that teased my cock to feel I was about to ejaculate. He thrusted inward, the cum felt on the way out. And when he thrusted outward, the jizz also fell back. That's what I felt the entire time he had me on my stomach. And it was in this position in which he came this go around. He moaned as his cock throbbed inside me to squeeze out another load of cum, while I already clasping his hands, pulled him even tighter around me. For while I didn't ejaculate, when he orgasmed physically, I orgasmed mentally. Once again from the pleasure of feeling what my body did to his body.

After fucking raw, I don't do the pushing out of cum like you see some do in porn videos. I stated before that my tight hole holds jizz a good long while. Case in point, I left my playmate's place around 9 a.m., but it wasn't until after noon that my ass felt a tingle to let go of the 3 loads of jizz he put inside me. I'm sure it more so depends on how far his cum shot inside me, but you must admit that if men had ovaries, his cum load would have been in me so long that I would outdo Octo-mom.

We basked in the afterglow of Round 3 for a few minutes before I decided to leave so I wouldn't overstay my welcome. Even though there was a part of me that felt he could have kept me in bed and fucked me a few times more. Well, as far as time was concerned, he had the day off, but I did have a closing shift that afternoon.

I don't know about you, but for me, my work day that day was not an easy one. For I hate going to work after having great sex because I want to bask in the afterglow, even if it's by myself. And that definitely was some great sex.

Sexual Desires For 45

In 10 days, I will be 45 years old. In both mind and body, I think I've maintained myself quite well. And based on my sexual experiences, I've done quite well in that department as well.

Speaking of sexual experiences, I don't know a man alive that doesn't want sex for his birthday. Well, I am no different. Now, while I will take a good old-fashioned roll in the hay with much gratitude, there are some sexual occurrences that would make my gratitude even greater.

Double Penetration
Now, I have asked for this on this blog for years. And those who offered either did so unexpectedly, or was offering a component I expressly said I didn't want for my 1st d.p. (like one guy with a huge cock).

Of those unexpected offers, my experiencing being a double penetration bottom has happened. However, while I'm over 90% all for spontaneity, this was a case where the spontaneity left me too partially fulfilled. Because I was fulfilled by the fact I can say I experienced it, but that's where the satisfaction ends. So I want a do-over. One more along of the lines of what I stated in my blog post where I figured out the D.P. formula that would work to my satisfaction.

Let me add, a stipulation just in case I find myself unable to handle both cocks presented to me simultaneously. In such a case, I'd bottom for both guys separately. With the one to get me first being the guy who I have never had sex with before, or it's been the longest since we last hooked up.

International Gangbang
This is something I have yet to experience, and was willing to show fans by doing it as a scene while I was doing studio-based porn. That however, never came to fruition.

If you knew every detail of my sexual history, you could say that my list of sex partners could fill up a Gay U.N. Because I think I've had sex with guys from every continent, but Antarctica. So I've been with enough guys to make an international gangbang, just not all in one fuck session.

Now, in case you don't know by now, I don't pride myself on how much sex I have. Instead, I pride myself on what I learn from my sexual encounters. And part of what I would like to learn is if there is any difference is a guy's sexual styles based on their ethnicity. Well, due to the different ways different cultures teach their males about sex, I'm sure there is for most guys but not all. And an international gangbang would be a great way to get some (but not a concrete) answer, and have fun while doing it. Don't you think?

BiSexual 3-Way
This might gross out all of the infantile hetero-phobes reading this post, but I have long wanted a bisexual guy to fuck a woman, and with his cock wet from her pussy juice, for him to then fuck my ass. And while he's having sex with the woman, allow me to feel his body.

Well, since I don't know too many hot bi-guys, this is a kind of birthday sex that is a real longshot.

Unrequited Lust
There are many guys living in NYC who are on my social media lists who I wouldn't deny a roll in the hay with. And many of them already know who they are. And in case they don't know, here's a tip:

If I've groped your ass, crotch, or sucked your dick, you're more than likely a contender.

With these 3 possible scenarios, there's one I have no problem with revisiting....

Surprise Sex

I have no problem revisiting this situation if the previous 3 don't happen because one of my followers favorite home sex videos come from a guy I met that way....My playmate from "Why It's WE Fucked".

I went out arriving at a bar a tad before midnight. Upset because a former fuckbuddy wasn't reciprocating my advances for the great sex we were having to also be a gift for my birthday. So I went to the bar, not on a search for numbing sex, but to not stare at the walls of my apartment where that sex would have happened had the former fuckbuddy responded accordingly. So I went to the bar backroom to do my usual study of sexual behavior, and noticed one guy who went down on me. While that guy was going down on me, I noticed this other guy who had someone going down on him. We noticed each other, but trying to be loyal to the guy already blowing me (who was lackluster at cocksucking), I tried to ignore this possible new suitor. But he was persistent. Then by chance, we wound up closer to each other. It was likely because the guy who was blowing him had stopped, and was trying to back his ass up on my new suitor. My new suitor wasn't having it, and when the guy blowing me stopped to take a breath, my new suitor took me away, and we wound up fucking my ass right there. And it is very likely that at my time of birth, 2:57 AM, this guy's cock was in my ass.

So that night was HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!

With such options listed, I wonder which one will come to fruition? And if one does, who will I have to thank for the smile that will be on my face. Only the morning after will tell. Until then...

Getting Out The Kinks: I ♥ Daddies

Don't let the title fool you! I do not have a thing for older guys old enough to be my father. While I did grow up with an absentee father, I have not sexualized that void by making myself available only to older guys. I'll address my personal manifestation from my absentee father in another post. Anyway, when I say that I love daddies, I'm talking about hot guys who have had sex with a woman, with the result being him fathering a child.


When I think about how:

• He put his bare cock inside her,
• Therefore, her bare flesh rubbed against his dick
• So then 2 bare natural tools for sex rubbed against each other
• To the point that they caused him to orgasm and shoot out cum
• And the sperm in that cum swam inside her body
• All to create a child

....It is all such a turn-on that it makes me want a shot at it.

Now, before the condom police try getting on my case, if you don't know by now my position on bareback sex, then take note of the pic on the right of this blog about "CHOICE". With that said, I'm man enough to deal with the results that might happen (or may already have happened) as a result of taking this kink all the way. I'm sure many guys feel the same way. Plus, with the recent more public knowledge of Truvada as PrEP, I'm sure many are taking advantage, whether I say to or not.

After all, the real purpose of semen is to be the male's addition to the process of pro-creation. It's just that us sexual nature geeks who happen to be gay have something else about males to enjoy. It may also explain why when gay males have bareback sex, they often refer to the top cumming in the bottom as "breeding". I personally hate that term because while it is the same act, I associate "breeding" more with animals, and not humans. Plus, I love the word "cum". And not just the word "cum", but also all of its properties. Its feel, Its taste. Its smell. I love the smell so much that if a guy cums on me, definitely if we're at my place, I'll sleep with his jizz on me. At his place, it's up to him.

This brings us back to the aforementioned bullet list of sequences in straight sex. Each bullet on that list can have a pronoun or name of a body part replaced to instead refer to anal sex with a gay/bi male, except for the creation of a child. We males can't do that, and are happier for it. That doesn't mean that finding pleasure in the instinct of cum being for pro-creation isn't in us males. For those of us who partake of a man shooting his jizz inside us do so out of loving the thought that like in sex with a woman, his sperm - a part of him is alive and remains inside us after he pulls out. A fact a raw top's ego is boosted by.

Don't think this kink means I'm recanting my stance against recruiting straight guys. I'm not. I know that the only way this kink can come to fruition is for me to be with a father who is an out & proud bisexual, or a guy who came to realize he was gay/bi after becoming a father. With guys who as far as I know who are totally straight, my respect of nature will only allow this kink of mine to live in fantasies.

With all of that said, if you're wondering if I have ever had the opportunity to have bareback sex with someone who was a father by natural means,...not only is the answer YES. But you may have seen me already have hot sex with him....

It's my playmate from "Why It's WE Fuck".

His revelation that he was a father was one he made to me soon after we first hooked-up. Now, in that video, you can clearly see a condom. But a few hook-ups later, he did shoot that fathering load into my ass. With me tightening around his cock during his orgasm to get out every last drop of his cum. But this time, instead of filling a condom with sperm-rich semen....For a time, his ejaculation filled me with a bunch of his "Mini-Me's".

Video Review - "XConfessions, Vol. 2"

One of the perks of working in Shipping/Receiving at The Pleasure Chest is seeing all of the new stock as it comes in. So imagine how pleased I was to open a shipment, and find DVDs from Erika Lust.

I first learned of Erika Lust by way of stumbling upon videos from her LustCinema channel on PornHub. Which is why as of right now, I own 3 of Erika Lust's DVDs. Hence why the DVD I'm reviewing the most recent that I own, "XConfessions, Vol. 2".

Before I go any further, let me warn some of you that the with the exception of one 1 guy-2 girl 3-way, the short films from XConfessions.com featured on "XConfessions, Vol. 2" are of straight sex. So why am I reviewing this DVD when I'm sure I have a mostly gay male readership? It's because straight, gay, or bi, I love, LOVE, LOVE, ♥♥LOVE♥♥ to play voyeur to sex. Especially when it includes seeing the male body in action. So as far as my gay male readers go, this review is for those of you who feel the same.

Most porn directors, especially male, shoot porn in a way that inconveniences the actors with the positions that they are put in. One reason I have become a fan of Erika Lust is because she shoots porn in a way very similar to how Ben Marksman did when he directed me  in "All Out Assault", by shooting around the action. You don't feel like the people in the scene are putting on a show for you because you paid for it - a method of shooting that caters to (an often male-driven) financial power dynamic. Instead, Erika's film direction allows you to feel a good kind of naughty yourself by catering to our human nature of playing "the silent voyeur".

You get to play the invisible spy or voyeur on these couples' (and in one case, threesome's) stories. It's like you're following each of them to the build up, then the passionate fucks the that build-up has led to.

Since most porn for decades has focused more on finding fit, gorgeous women, with their only concern about the male be that he has a big dick (and little about his looks and physique), in regards to attractiveness of the cast, let me make the males my primary attractiveness factor.

With that said, running from pale to caramel brown skin, the men in these short films

(Maximilian Gamberro, Joel Tomas, Franck Franco,

Kristopher Kodjoe, Geri del Bello, and Luke Hotrod)
are all GORGEOUS. 

Whether or not these guys fit the usual porn credo of having big dicks, since I'm not a size queen, it's something I never concerned myself with while watching the scenes. All I wanted to see was A DICK going into these beautiful women. With the exception of a hot oral scene featuring Kristopher Kodjoe (who has a full-on sex scene as well), that wish was granted.

Two (2) things that I look for in any porn that I watch now is 1)the respecting of partners, and 2)chemistry. For I have always been about exhibitionism in the porn I watch, not prostitution. However, seeing a lack of respect (especially for the one penetrated), and prostitution grow more and more in the porn industry is what fueled my exit from it, and unfortunately, still justifies my exit today. Luckily, that was not present in any of the scenes of this DVD. All of the couples seemed truly into each other. They all appeared to want to be there for the pleasure of fucking, with a side order of exhibitionism with money as a fringe benefit, not a necessity.

And in the case of Joel & Alexa Tomas, they're chemistry was evident in all 3 of their scenes. Mainly, because they are a real-life couple.

I personally like my sexual views challenged. So of all the fetishes (ex: feet, 3-ways, spanking) entertained in these scenes, I think the one that some might find the most challenging is the cross-dressing featured in "Dude Looks Like A Lady" with Geri del Bello.

 

It's a story in which a lady cross-dresses her man. She helps her man in putting on everything from a wig, lingerie, and make-up. We see from the start that the guy is very handsome. So much like the pegging scene from the 1st XConfessions DVD, his transformation challenges your views of masculinity during sex because the sex starts off with him totally dressed like a woman. Now, do we ever get to see that obvious male face again? THAT is what I'll leave you to learn the answer to when you buy the DVD.

With all of the negative things I have said about the porn industry (on this blog and social media) since I officially retired from it in September 2009, as well as my interviews with sites like AntiPornography.org, my being a fan of Erika Lust's work might come off as not only a shock. But also as a word I have much disdain at being called ---hypocritical. However, if you research the details I have reminded you about my feelings towards the industry, and compare them to this review, I do believe that you shouldn't find me to be a hypocrite.

I thought this category of my blog would never be revisited. Especially considering how the last time I posted a video review was in May 2010. So thanks to Erika Lust for creating erotica to motivate me to write for this category of my blog again. Now, part of the synopsis for this DVD reads as follows:

Regardless of your tastes, gender, sexual preference, or whether you're single or in a couple … you will never look at porn the same way after seeing Erika Lust's new erotic production!

And since Erika Lust makes good on that promise, I score "XConfessions, Vol. 2" with a 4.25 out of 5 cum loads.