Saturday, February 28, 2009


I’ll get to the title later, because I don’t have much good to say regarding what brought it about. So I’ll start with the good stuff that kind of led up to it.

I went to the most recent NYJP/GBU Boxers & Briefs Party. Who did I see but the muscular hottie from “Muscled Cocks And Ass From The Past”. I was at the bar in my underwear, and kept glancing back but wasn’t sure if he was looking at me as well. Well, while standing there, I felt a firm hand squeeze my ass. Now if you’re a hottie, squeezing my ass makes me quite easy. Easy to the point that if you have a hard-on, a condom, and lube when you do it, then depending on where we are, you could fuck my ass right there with no argument from me. And at this underwear party, plus the hand belonging to this muscled stud, he had a shot at getting my tight hole wrapped around his cock right then and there. But he didn’t know that – then. Instead we sat at the bar for a bit, and finally got each other’s names. I was also able to discover that he's Russian.

Why is it so rare for American gay White men to make it public when they have a love for chocolate, especially when the chocolate is NOT big and brawny. That's should be a future blog topic. Anyway...

We were intensely into each other. While I have a thing for White guys with uncommon facial features (in his case, full lips), his intense attraction to me might have been due to either his liking men of color, by my being able to take and enjoy his savage style of fucking, or a combination of the two. He gave me his screenname from a cruising site, and I guaranteed him I wouldn’t forget.

To make a long story short, somewhere within my time with other guys (3 as a top and 5 as a bottom that left my ass cheeks feeling the plumpness of a workout), me and the muscled stud lost each other. But I still had that screenname so when I got home, I looked it up, and left my website and email address, as well as my phone number, and within a the week, he by the middle of the week texted me.

He told me about a SPAM (Sex Party And More) party taking place on that Saturday night. It's a party only for both men and women of the LGBT community - no straight people. As it turns out, we're both some degree of bi.

Now you may recall Steve. He was looking for a sex party, so I passed the info from the muscled stud along to him in an email. The email response I got from him was this:

are there going to be girls there? ew!

So with the hopes that I misunderstood his tone, and he was just joking, I explained to him that the women do their thing and he does his. Because otherwise I was going to become immensely pissed off at him, but also myself for allowing someone into my sexual circle who doesn't deserve the degree of sex appeal I believed them to have.

Before writing this post, I sent him an email just to be sure that I didn't misunderstand. This is just like I said why I hate constant text and emails, because tones can get misconstrued. Unfortunately that wasn't the case here, because when I asked Steve about that reply, his response was simple with no joking tone:

I am not attracted to women.

With this response, Steve sex appeal has now plummeted. Because narrow-mindedness is a major turn-off for me in a lover, fuck buddy, or a friend, and depending on the subject matter that one is narrow-minded about is what will be the deciding factor as to whether of not you're worth being in any circle of mine. And because of this, as a fuck buddy, he's out. This doesn't look good because he's already borderline as a friend for him saying the polite thing about my friend Michael Carmine DiBianco's show, SHOWBOY to my face, but via the chicken shit method of text messaging, he was reminiscent of someone he dated - Tyson Cane - TOTALLY TACTLESS. Makes you wonder why they didn't go running off into the sunset together.

I always explain why I feel the way I do on a matter, and this time is no different.
When I read that "are there going to be girls there? ew!", my 1st thought was, "How the fuck old are you, 5?"

What was most troubling to me about Steve's response which is why I asked him if he was joking was him saying, "ew" in mentioning women. That is an infantile response if I ever heard one that plays into the negative stereotype about gay men being immature. It's also as infantile as the mentality that makes hip-hip niggas (not men) refer to women as "bitches". Like 5 year-olds screaming, "Ill, cooties!" And you should all know by now how I feel about stereotypical people. You can want to be in a sexual space with only men. You can have no sexual attraction to women whatsoever, but at least BE A MAN WHILE LACKING THAT ATTRACTION. Saying "ew" makes it seem like women are a flesh-eating disease to be in the presence of. Since that is not the case, it takes an extreme lack of manhood to not admire what women bring to our world. For one, without women me, you, Steve and every narrow-mind that thinks like Steve would not be on this earth. I would still have some respect for him, if it wasn't for that "ew!". If he simply said, "I prefer all male parties", he would have maintained a great deal of dignity.

The same goes for women who think that moronic way about males. Our genders are intertwined in a way that you won't be able to break for all eternity no matter how hard you try. And while I may not be totally sexually attracted to women, knowing their worth to our being is why I can share a space with them, even a sexual space. For sex plays a big part in an adult's life. I mean, how often have you just needed a good lay to relieve your tension over something totally non-sexual? I've seen it happen quite often to people, including myself. So I can be in a room with women having their own sexual pleasure while I have mine with a man. Revelling in how both genders are having their tensions released. If not together physically by having sex with each other, at least together spiritually by sharing a space.

Unfortunately, there are waaaay too many gay Americans who share this sentiment where they don't like to share a space with the opposite sex. My feeling is that all sex is beautiful - be it straight, gay, lesbian, or bi. As long as it's between consenting adults, it's all good. I don't have to participate in what they are doing, and I don't mind being in the same room as what they're doing either. I admit that when I come across a lesbian scene on a porno, 9 times out of 10 I skip to the next scene. BUT at least I'm aware that it's a beautiful thing, and that 1 out of 10 times that beautiful thing does catch my eye and make me want to watch. And usually not for arousal purposes. It's just simply to see the beautiful act that is sex from some other gender besides my own.

Too many Americans want to be surrounded by what they call, "their own", and gay American men seem to live by that self-destructive code more than anyone else. It is the reason why centuries later racism is still alive and well in this country. Why do you think so many industries (including the porn industry) are suffering right now? Because that separatism has reached a boiling point. And the same will probably happen with the separatism leading to secular lives over gender and sex.

You would think that since being gay is already considered taboo in many circles, that gay/bi Americans would be more open-minded to the beauty of sex from all orientations. More so than a heterosexual. But based on Steve's statement, and how many of you probably sadly share his sentiment, our progress of acceptance will be stalled thanks to that brand of thinking, because in order for us to progress we have to first see the beauty in our differences. Be those differences, ethnic, geographical, physical, etc. And I know I'm not the first to say this in one form or another, but I must repeat it because it's a truth that you can't dispute.


  1. Well... Steve is typical aout what others me about many gay men. Look, I'm gay, but given the chance to jump into the sack with Kate Beckinsale, Ali Larter from HEROES or Megan Fox.. you can damn bet I'm jumping!! Some people need to grow the fuck up.

  2. Interesting... it made me examine my own feelings towards women, and prompted this:

  3. Unfortunately, many people seem to take other people's sexualities as a personal challenge to their own worldview - which is pretty unfortunate. Anyone who has the "ew" response is probably not all that comfortable with their own sexuality and in their own skin. I mean, it's more than ok to only be attracted to particularly kinds of bodies or gender presentations, but being grossed out by variations isn't too cool.

  4. I know Steven. I know his deal. His kurt email reply was a dead giveaway that it was the Steven I suspected.

    You think the "ew" was childish? Man, I could tell you shit that would make your head spin.

    Deep-down Steven is a good guy, but (as I'm sure you could sense) he's not happy. And when people are hurting and are in pain their every action is tainted by that. I'm sure the "ew" was just more use of the pop-gay vernacular, but when you pressed he just dug in. That's Steven.

  5. You are correct about Steven being a good guy. In fact, he started off being kind to me in a way that even though I knew we were getting together as fuck buddies, his concern regarding my well-being in the scenarios we were in made me feel like his boyfriend. And I'm not going to lie, had such a propostion been made I would have gave it a go. You see, in my past I've been disappointed as well, but with my maturity, In this kind of situation, I won't allow myself to jump the gun and fall for someone. Instead, I will leave myself open to the possibilities one behavior presents.

    I admit I still think about Steven. Mainly because as you suspected, I'm aware that's he's unhappy. And since he was in my circle, my nature makes me want to help him undo that unhappiness. But I know - he has to do it for himself.

  6. To Nosce Te Ipsum,

    By the way, if I know you, please email me and tell me who you are. Thanks.

  7. what is your email?

  8. Hi NosceTe Ipsum,

    Thanks for your quick response. My email address is

  9. Sent to the address above.

  10. Hi, can you just tell me what the NYJP/GBU party is? (And what those initials stand for?) I live just a block from Studio 54 and I hate to think I'm missing out on good underwear parties.


I HIGHLY respect those willing to stand behind their comments with a name. So if you use "Anonymous" on a viewpoint that challenges mine, IT WILL BE DELETED. For your cowardice to not show yourself makes your viewpoint and you irrelevant.

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