Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Sex Party Etiquette: Less Talking, More Fucking

At a sex party, the majority of sounds expected to come out of anyone's mouth are moans and groans. If any words are formed, they are expected to be along the lines of "Fuck yeah", "Give it to me", "Oh yeah, that's a tight hole", or "Oh fuck me with your big dick".

And my personal favorite that I did use at that party, "Fuck it hard, because it's yours now. Own that hole!"

Well, I left out some details about what happened at the NY Jock Party I mentioned in my last post. Don't get me wrong, I had some phenomenal sex. It was just that the energy of the guys around me was so off. One of the things I like about a sex party is drawing my energy from my fucking, and hearing so many other guys fucking around me. With my taste fior voyeurism, that makes me wish I could be in 2 places at once. That's usual for this party, but for this one in particular, such was not the case.

I saw guys sporadically fooling around with more clusters not being guys fucking or giving head, but clusters of friends getting together talking. In fact, I joked with the 1st guy I was with that night about how the Girls of The View were annoying the fuck out of me. After me and this guy fucked each other into exhaustion, we laid on the bed. Would you believe the cacklin' hens got so into their confab that they sat down on the foot of the bed and kept talking? Now, it's one thing to talk in a lounging area of the party, but in the area where the sex is going on? These guys had a serious lack of tact.

I told my guy, "Why don't we just bring out a fuckin' coffee table, and make the set complete for them?"

They were really getting annoying. I admit a sex party is a social gathering, but it's not a fuckin' tea party. We could hear their entire conversation. And they weren't laying the groundwork for fucking with their conversation where we were. These guys were gossiping. Now we all gossip, but when you gossip so much that you bring it to a sex party, not in the lounging area, but where the sex is going on, then you some serious issues, because the biggest gossipers you know do it to talk about others so they don't have to deal with themselves. So to bring gossiping to a sex party like that makes me wonder what kind of fucked up lives these guys have. YIKES!

At one point, the cacklin' bitch hens finally moved on. I told my guy that I was glad they moved because I felt like the Bed-Stuy ghetto boy was going to surface where I say, "GIRLS OF THE VIEW - will you please shut the fuck up! People are tryin' to fuck here, because after all, this is a SEX party, not a tea party! So why don't you suck a dick or sumpin' to quiet the fuck down! Now, once again I repeat, please----SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

While I said that the Bed-Stuy ghetto boy was ready to say that, the guy I was with said he was from Nebraska and he was ready to say it. That just goes to show you, this annoyance wasn't only in my mind. It was on the minds of quite a few as I later discovered as I was leaving.

So whoever these hens were, I hope they talked so much missing out on hot sex that their dim-witted asses believe the party wasn't fun and never come back. That is unless they realize it's a sex party, so next time they come, they arrive looking hot, not ready to talk, but ready to moan, and more than anything ready to fuck.

I think being that we are adults, we shouldn't need a sign at a sex party that says, "LESS TALKING, MORE FUCKING".

You have to admit that with guys like the Girls of The View around, it makes you wonder.


  1. LOL... I feel your pain. I've never been to a sex party, sadly, but I really can't bear cackling hens at the best of times, never mind in that kinda situation.

  2. Dude, you should've said something. Ever been to a movie theater to see a film that you've been excited over only to have some schmuck mother bring her infant to the movies, only to have the little bastard start crying during the best scene? Well, I have, and let's just say- I wasn't very nice about it. The same type of etiquette applies- KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AND WHY YOU ARE THERE AND ACT APPROPRIATELY AND BE RESPECTFUL OF OTHERS!


I HIGHLY respect those willing to stand behind their comments with a name. So if you use "Anonymous" on a viewpoint that challenges mine, IT WILL BE DELETED. For your cowardice to not show yourself makes your viewpoint and you irrelevant.

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