I have often enjoyed the blog, Beautiful
with its pics of gorgeous men. However, recently they greatly disappointed me with a post about gay-for-pay actor Dean Coxx
. And I made my disappointment known with this comment:
Gay-for-pay actors are nothing to marvel. They are the classic case of gay and bisexual men living in denial of their true selves, and give off the message that it's OK to live that way. Whether it be Dean Coxx engaged to a woman, or Kurt Wild with a wife and kids, putting a positive spotlight on these guys sends the wrong message to those men, young and old struggling with their sexuality. I should know, because I was once one of those guys.
This is the comment responding to mine that made this blog necessary. It was from the ignorance of someone named "marc":
I think that first comment sounds a bit bitter. Why making such a big deal out of this. Dean Coxx is hot, and he sells nothing but a fantasy, like every other porn actor, whether they are gay or straight. No, it sounds more like someone is jealous or has had a bad experience himself (?)
I never responded to that or any of the other comments at Beautiful. I chose to do it here, and make more than clear why I take my stand against marketing and marveling gay-for-pay porn actors so seriously.
To start, regarding marc's remarks about me being jealous, I have no reason to be jealous of Dean Coxx or any gay-for-pay actor for that matter, no matter how much success they achieve. Because I take solace in the fact that although it took me awhile to get there, at least I came to terms with and realized my sexuality of being bisexual with a gay preference without lying to myself and a girlfriend calling myself "straight", and getting married, and having children with that wife I'm lying to who obviously has a low self-esteem if she is living that lie with me. I take solace in the fact that karma is not going to bite me in the ass for putting anyone through that. Whatever success I achieve in this industry, at least I can say that my fans are able to admire the fantasy I present to them because I am showing my true sexual identity - where the one I claimed to be and the one they see on the screen are ONE AND THE SAME.
Maybe it's the fact that I'm older now, and remembering my struggle with my sexuality in my early 20's, I recall how I looked at porn to play a part in giving me guidance to helping me figure myself out. Because in porn, the actors are supposed to be putting their true sexual self on display in an artistic form. Whether their sexual self be straight, gay, or bisexual - not that new bullshit cop out term "sexual".
Whatever art form you choose to be a part of, you are sending out a message with each artistic endeavor, so you have a responsibility to send out a message that is for the greater good. And porn is no different in having that responsibility. Companies war with each other over sending out the message of safer-sex, but when it comes to sending out the message for men to be true to their sexual selves instead of being another Engaged To A Woman Dean Coxx
or Married With Children Kurt Wild
lying to their wife and/or kids (and worst of all themselves), this industry for the most part gets tight-lipped. It's a sin and a shame, and it makes "Deren Hills
" seem correct in calling porn companies "pimps" for hiring these guys while allowing them to lie to themselves, when no matter what the porn company says to the face of these guys, the companies are laughing at these actors ignorance about themselves behind their back, and raking in big bucks from the movies they're in, or the websites they appear on the whole time.
To answer "marc" as to why I'm making such a big deal about this is because Dean Coxx maybe be selling a fantasy, but he's selling it while lying to himself. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, companies who hire gay-for-pay actors aren't realizing the fact that we are all human being, therefore there are limitations as to how much we can do. What I mean by that is the fact that if these guys were really straight as they claim to be, (as long as they are a member of free society) there would be no way that their cock would go in a man's ass, or a man's cock go into their ass. Therefore, while we may fantasize about sex with a straight man, we have to accept the fact that it is something that we would never see happen right before our eyes. People like this "marc" who marvel at these guys are the ones who give straight guys the impression that gay men are always trying to "recruit" straights to become gay. Thereby making themselves components in the equation that leads to gay-bashing. With that in mind, while I don't condone gay-bashing, the ignorance of people like "marc" who find this entertainment OK make it understandable why people like them get bashed.
As I always try to give credit where credit is due, I credit FlavaWorks for their letting straight men be straight, their gay be gay, and their bi-guys be bi-guys. In their videos, the most sexual you will see a straight man get is jerking off in a solo video. Any actual sex is between their gay and bisexual actors, and I applaud them for that. Perfect example is the fact that I would love to have some of their straight models like AXL
or their new discovery, Caramel D,
fuck me so hard that even a week late, I would still feel like their dick was throbbing in my ass, FlavaWorks presents the fantasy to let you see them naked so you would know what you were getting IF you could have them. BUT SINCE THEY'RE STRAIGHT, they know you can't, so they leave the rest of that fantasy up to you and your imagination. Which is the way it should be when a gay man is admiring the sexual beauty of a straight man.
And that's the problem. Porn companies, magazines, and websites promoting gay-for-pay actors, while they're not helping the confused young men who are of age, but unaware of their sexuality have an avenue of adult entertainment to help find themselves, they're allowing people like "marc" become lazy in using their imagination, thereby realizing that every fantasy can't be put in front of your face.
Well "marc" and all those that agree with your comment, this is your wake-up call where I am imploring upon you to use the brain you were given, and create images for you own pleasure, and stop relying on ones that should not be presented to you so fully, like a video of a straight man engaging in gay behavior. Thank you.
So what do you think about gay guys making straight films to further their careers, and supplement their income. Wasn't there a guy called Matt Ramsey in gay porn that did that?ReplyDelete
What about the struggling guys out there in california trying to eat and pay the rent, and have to do something until their legitimate acting career takes off, and must use their bodies and suck dick, etc. to get through the month.
Did you achieve fame and fortune in the "legitimate" acting field?
What other differences are there between that and the porn world.
some of us like masculine men, and often the gay for pay actors provide that.
Anonymous, never approach my blog being s.o.s. (stuck on stupid), because I will have to put you in your place about it.ReplyDelete
No I did not achieve fame in the "legitimate" acting field, but that's not why I chose to do gay porn. I was actually trying to juggle both acting worlds, but it became too much, so I had to choose one. And I chsoe the one that was making the most progress at the time. But either way, I never sold out my sexuality for "legitimate" acting or porn.
As for you claiming to like masculine men, you can find some who are actually gay. DO NOT GIVE ME THAT BULLSHIT COP OUT EXCUSE that only the gay-for-pay guys provide that. Do you have to pay a gay-for-pay guy to do it in your private life? If so, then you're a lazy recruiting loser. My desire for masculine men on and off camera is provided by 100% proud gay and bisexual MEN. MEN because they have enough confidence and self-awareness to stand behind who they are.
And lastly, I mylsef have been through rough financial times, and I have yet to do anything outside my sexual identity in order to make ends meet. So again, lay off the cop out excuses. Thank you.
I can watch a "gay for pay" model have sex with other men without being stupid enough to believe that this would likely happen with an actual straight guy. Your concern with the "message" this is sending is a bit condecending and obviously reflects you own issues and or biases towards guys who choose to do this to make money. But, it's your blog and you are certainly entitled to say whatever you want on it. I do see your point somewhat, but you seem a little too angry over it.ReplyDelete
Moog, I am by no means too angry about this as you put it. If you knew more about my struggle with my sexuality, maybe you'd understand. Anyone who has had as great a struggle as me and came out to respect an individual owning his/her sexual orientation by them behaving in accordance with that orientation understands my upset.ReplyDelete
I spent about 15 years of my life suicidal because of my not knowing my sexual identity, and looking for anything to give me a way to find out. Being an artist, I looked to movies, both mainstream and porn. Since porn has full-on sex, I feel it should has been some kind of guide, and it was somewhat. But it would not have been if the big thing at that time was hiring actors who claim to be "gay-for-pay". It would have only furthered my confusion.
As an artist, I feel one must take responsibility for whatever message their art send out. Be it a written worn, a painting, a dance movement, a part in a play, etc. And the same goes for porn. Hence the reason why I won't do barebacking movies. I don't want to send out the message that barebacking is OK, and using gay-for-pay actors sends out the message that being on the DL is OK when it most certainly is not. So if you find my concern with the message condecending, than that simply shows your lack of humanity.