Exhausting And Overextending

I am not one to make New Year's Resolutions. My feeling is if you want to make a change within yourself, don't wait until the next year. Let that desire to change plant firmly in your brain, then make it happen. If it happens around New Years, then it's just a coincidence.

Such is the case with me. While I was on the verge of leaving the adult entertainment industry, because of it being so rampant with racism. I decided that I was no longer going to write blogs on the matter with the intent to make change. Instead, I will write blogs on the matter for the sake of simply venting. So this will be the 1st about racism with that intent.

The reason I decided to stopped fighting was because I took a real good look at racism in general. What I came to realize is that with racism, one tends to exhaust and overextend the very race of people they are trying to make the dominate race in that industry. Whether it be the adult entertainment industry, corporate world, hip-hop music scene, etc.

Look at the corporate world, thanks to White racist corporate figure heads, the number of Whites who stay late at the office and away from their families compared to the number of any other races is staggering, and contributing to the high divorce rate (and if not divorce, more cheating) among Whites because they allow their corporate life to take precedence over their family life. I'm not saying minorities don't cheat just as much, but they are more free to go home and be a member of their families, unless they're foolish enough to try and compete, thereby suffer the same fate of divorce and cheating due to the same reason as their White counterparts.

I've come to realize that the same holds true for the adult industry. Especially in gay porn, from Lucas Entertainment on the East Coast to Falcon Studios on the West (with Pierre Fitch once being an exclusive - remember "birds of a feather..."), Blacks, Asians, Indians, and other minorities are constantly looked over during the casting process as if we don't fit into their storylines when their tales have no need for White as the specified race, except for their own racist visions. Remember, as I said earlier of how with racism, comes the exhaustion and overextending of the very race they are trying to make dominant. Let's look at the possible results that have recently surfaced in these companies trying to make the statement "white or near white is the only beauty."

I'm sure that signs of the troubles of that brought forth the deaths of both Kent North and Danny Roddick were not invisible. They had no business being in front of a camera. Now while the studios can't and shouldn't play babysitter, they should have shown the humanity it took to leave them to do the much needed work on their private lives, regardless of what Kent North or Danny Roddick said. But the producers and directors were so hung up on having their "White face" on display that they chose to ignore them.

Now for the most recent trend - "gay-for-pay" actors Marcus Allen, Mark Dalton, and Nickolay Petrov going violent. The thirst to say "White is the only beauty" has reared it's ugly head in this trend as well. They could have got anybody else for these roles, but they were so obsessed with their "white is right" mentality, they chose self-conflicted White men for the part. Ignoring the possibility of how (let's forget Black for just a moment) but an Asian or Indian playing those same roles. There is beauty to be seen within these races as well, yet racist producers and directors chose to ignore them. Now, look what they must contend with. Violent people who have put a blot on the reputation of these studios that they try to cover up by talking about a bevy of new releases, so that we forget their fuck-up. And you know what -

- when you have the fuckfaced audacity to be a racist running a studio in the melting pot known as the USA, a blot on your studio's rep is just a smidgen of what the fuck you deserve.

The reason I decided to stop fighting is because I realized that all the racism of these studios gives me and other ethnic actors a better chance at pursuing a lasting relationship. Even though I am still single, at least I don't have to tell my boyfriend that we can't have sex because I have another movie to do. I can date him, and really get to know him. He won't be to me what most pornstars have to call relationships - a constant pretty face or sugar daddy to call your boyfriend, nothing more. Hence the reason their relationships usually don't last long, because eventually in that routine, someone gets tired. And they either start wanting something real, or the ones who continue to be shallow want the same routine, but with a new face.

So with that advantage, you're probably asking yourself what I recently asked myself.

With that advantage what have I been fighting for?

As an Aries, I naturally like a challenge, and as an American citizen, I deserve that challenge of trying to maintain the balance between my sex life on and off camera. But thanks to racist studio heads, I have been denied the challenge that I was willing to take on from the 1st time I opened up a magazine looking for a chance to be a part of the adult entertainment industry.

The point I have come to now is that I am now taking a negative and turning it into a positive. So I'll leave these studio heads to be racist pigs. I will leave them to kill off their own in the process. And not just in the physical sense like Kent North and Danny Roddick, but in the spiritual sense as well by using these "gay-for-pay" models who are living a lie to themselves and their significant others. After all, lies to yourself and/or others always wear down the family structure.

So from here on, I'm going to do my thing whenever the opportunity presents itself, instead of searching and fighting for it. I'll continue to vent about racism, but not with the purpose of trying to inspire change. I am leaving racist studio heads to be what they always have been and always will be - their own worst enemy.