True Pride

June is Gay Pride Month!

But as June comes to a close, what did having "Gay Pride" mean for you? Was it about being proud of the fact that you are true to yourself, in spite of the nasty shame-on-you finger you were brought up with? Or was it about party-hopping to overpriced events, and spending all of your money on booze and drugs to hide the shame you haven't been adult enough to shake off from that shame-on-you finger?

Just about every gay media outlet we know of off the top of our heads, and learn of when we first come out--- incites our pride to be the latter. You have to search long and hard to find a gay media outlet inciting the 1st meaning of gay pride that I mentioned. Hence why I took this blog in the direction I have taken it. For I want to lessen that search for you.

I have been told by too many gays that I come off as angry in my postings. If I was the type of person to give a fuck about what others think, and not willing to bet my life on how right I am for what I stand for, I might take heed of their complaint. However, each time I heard someone say to me, "You come off angry", in reply I told myself, "Look at the source. Ignore them!".

For the one thing I came to notice of EVERY gay who has said, "You come off angry" is that---they use drugs and/or drink heavily.

The people who have called me "angry" travel with the lots that I've seen at national and internationally covered events like the Black Party and the Pier Dance, or local bar/club parties doing drugs by damn near breaking down bathroom doors, going in a corner, or because it's a big crowd, right there on the dancefloor. These events national magazines like Out and Instinct, and local magazines like Next, Odyssey, and Get Out! act like are the must-go-to parties for not just Gay Pride, but to be weekly outings that tell what it means to be "gay". Well, with such self-destructive behavior (including excessive drinking) being the norm for these events and racism in our everyday lives (all of which isn't a gay or happy life at all), is it any wonder why some gays decide to seek some kind of conversion therapy?

So the way I see it, to avoid being called "angry", I should lower myself to their way of life. A way of life where their conscious mind believes ignorance is bliss, while their subconscious knows that they are in misery, so they'd love some company. The problem is I don't find ignorance to be bliss, nor do I care to accompany them in the misery of keeping up the phony brave facades that makes them do drugs and/or be alcoholics in the first place. My brave face is 100% REAL.

Furthermore, how can someone who is supposed to be "sooo angry", never had plastic surgery, or any kind of facial injection, be 41 years old and look as young as I do? No matter how great a gene pool I came from, if I was really that "angry", I would not look like this. But if I follow the lead of those who call me "angry", I would damn sure look like them, which would be my age,...and maybe beyond.

So in my content of being true to myself, with my sober ears, eyes, and mind wide open to the world around me comes this poem about not just having what the gay media calls "pride", but instead having