Saturday, May 7, 2011

Write That Down 33 & 34

One thing this blog has become notorious for is for me telling of my sexual escapades. What might surprise some is the fact that I hold sex in very high regard with an extreme respect for its intentions. Of course, as a predominately gay bisexual, that intention is not about pro-creating as some religions want to say is the sole purpose of sex. The part of sex's intention that I'm speaking of is about how it is meant to be an intense moment of upping the ante on your connection to someone. My personal sexually liberated nature just happens to allow that upping the ante on a connection that is fleeting, as well as life long.

Normally, when I see a person I've had sex with at an outing after the fact, I feel like every one in the room watching us, even for a second can tell that we have had sex. We've had that moment of intensely connecting to each other. During that outing afterwards, we don't have to kiss. We don't have to hug. The connection is just in the energy of our interaction.

There have been some sex partners however, who I will see afterwards at an outing, and I will get from them no kind of energy that says that we had sex. I know I give it off, but they aren't giving it in return. Now, I'm not looking for them to date me, fall in love with me, or make plans to fight for gay marriage. But I feel that in that moment of connection, since you gave away something that should be held to some degree sacred (your body), even after the fact, that moment of connection should be respected and acknowledged in your energy. If you don't, then it is signs of a problem within you.

That's why my 1st "Write That Down" quote for this post reads:

For me, even in a romp at a sex party or one night stand, SEX is a connection of souls. So it takes one with issues to so easily blow off the fact that you had that moment of connection.

I'm sure that my feeling this way about sex is why I've voiced such disdain for the way the porn industry is presently being operated, and eventually led my need to exit it. Especially with the industry's present routine of putting escorts in front of the camera, instead of studios concerning themselves with whether or not the people are really attracted to each other. The porn industry's present disregard for that part of sex's intentions is what eventually made it beneath me.

In regard to escorts, it is the very purpose of sex that I mentioned that leads me to believe is the reason why escorts for the very most part don't have lasting relationships. That's why my other "Write That Down" quote reads:

Escorts most often don't have lasting relationships because their work requires them going to a dead place within. And repeatedly going to this dead place makes their boyfriend/girlfriend subconsciously question how often are they going to that dead place with them.

Living in denial of this question is what prolongs the relationship, but it's only natural that such a question would exist. Then surface. Then rightfully causes distrust. Then understandably make the relationship fail.

I'm sure how I value sex may be quite surprising to some. But I felt it was about time to make people aware as to what values I have that make me take some of the various stands that I have taken over time. For I know sometimes comparing the things I do with what I say can come off as contradictory. These quotes make it obvious that they are not.


  1. I command you for being so brave and open about your sexuality!

  2. Why do you feel like you need to speak negatively about escorts? Sex workers are already stigmatized enough, you don't need to add to it. And why do you claim escorts don't have lasting relationships (contrary to people who are not escorts)? I don't think there's reliable data on the subject! If you had bad experiences with guys who are escorts, don't put the burden on every escort. There are some good guys among them too. (Not that having a lasting relationship is any indicator of one's worth.)

  3. Felix,

    As a former porn actor, I have a better insight than most to the mindset of a sex worker. Especially considering how I have done roles in movies that I did NOT enjoy the company of my scene partner, just as many escorts don't enjoy the sex with many of their clients. I have met enough escorts who professed this to me WITHOUT MY ASKING. So if you want "reliable data" to back up my claims so much ---THERE YOU HAVE IT! Proof enough of how it bothers them to the point that they need to vent to a stranger who at the time happened to be a fellow sex worker.
    This shows that I do not feel a need to talk bad about escorts. I am simply pointing out the facts that THEY THEMSELVES laid in my lap.

    And yes, they are stigmatized quite a bit as it is. HOWEVER, what I said is by no means an indicator of their overall character. Because just as I know I am a good man who chose to be a porn actor and had to realize why I made some of the choices I made, escorts chose to be escorts and must do the same. STOP BEING AN ENABLER to their bad choices!

    And MOST IMPORTANTLY, DO NOT PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH! I never made a comparison between an escort's relationships and those who are not escorts. I simply pointed out the specifics as to why an escort's relationships commonly fail. If you can't accept that fact for whatever reason, THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!

  4. LeNair

    You're not an escort and you've not had a relationship last more than a month -- what gives?

    Also, sometimes a hook-up is just a hook-up. No need for an emotional connection. As is often said, "a nut is just a nut."

    I really don't understand your beef with escorts. Escorts are people too.

  5. I haven't had a relationship last more than a month because while no one is perfect, there are some flaws in a person that you can tolerate, and some you simply SHOULD NOT. With the guys I've dated, the flaws that one simply should not tolerate always present themselves within that 1st month.

    And ARE YOU BLIND, STUPID, STRAIGHT UP ILLITERATE, or some combination of the 3?! Based on what I said on how I view sex, it is more than obvious as to the problem I have with escorts. You want to date one, feel free.

    With my view of sex, while they are people, too, I WILL NOT and SHOULD NOT. Because they have a view of sex that makes them someone I can't trust in a relationship situation, no matter how much I want to.

    Lastly, I may not have been an escort, but as I said in my last comment (TRY READING), doing scenes with a scene partner with someone I was not attracted to puts me in a very similar situation. And I REFUSE to have sex without some kind of connection, be it fleeting or long term. If you want to have sex void of that, then be the lowly creature that I am speaking of. Hence why you are so defensive.

    And for the record, your being so defensive it quite pathetic.


I HIGHLY respect those willing to stand behind their comments with a name. So if you use "Anonymous" on a viewpoint that challenges mine, IT WILL BE DELETED. For your cowardice to not show yourself makes your viewpoint and you irrelevant.

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