Unusual Inaugural Emotional Swell

Many emotions were had by viewing the inauguration of President Barack Obama, and I am no exception. But mine might not seem so common. That shouldn't be a surprise, because after all - how often am I common?

Today I was watching some of the inauguration of our 44th President at work. I got there just in time to see him take the Presidential oath, and listen to his as usual, truthful and eloquent speech that followed. While I obviously have heard his speeches before, I have never really felt the overwhelming emotion that I've heard so many speak of. Well within the week after the election, it hit me for a moment while talking to some co-workers. I kind of forgot about it, but I doubt if that will happen again. Because during his speech at one point, I felt the same thing again while in that conference room full of people watching the CNN coverage on the screen.

A lump entered my throat. My eyes didn't well up with tears. Not one tear fell from my eye, or one tremor from my mouth like many do when they're about to cry. But there was a lump in my throat nonetheless.

That moment made me look at myself, and wonder why have I not been so revealing with my feelings of elation over this great moment in our nation's history. And the more I thought about it, the more I came to a very possible conclusion.

I have always used my faith in God to make him the one and only power in this universe capable of hurting me. I've allowed my fellow human beings to only be capable of disappointing me. I believe that's how I survived all the broken promises made to me while I was growing up about how I was going to get something, and when the expected date arrives - nothing. And once I grew up and started becoming more social, then seeing how many people at work, in romance, and friendships let me down, I build up a special wall that few people understand.

You see, while I am capable of love, giving and receiving, in whatever form of a relationship - when I feel I'm about to be let down, I guess you could say that a wall comes up to protect my heart, but allows one to metaphorically scar my skin covering the heart as a reminder of the harm that person is capable of doing. I was probably thinking better the scar as a reminder, than the hurt I would have felt if they were allowed to cut through the skin and actually break my heart. Because scars usually heal faster, and the faster they heal, the more they are just disappointments. However, the bigger the scar, and if it is deep enough to become a cut - then you're hurt. It stings and the pain lingers. And that's what I've been protecting myself from.

Now extreme as that is, and since I have often said in quite a few entries this blog that I am an extremist, it would be safe to say that it would take something extreme to cause me a breakdown in emotions when it means I must take the risk and have faith in so many of my fellow human beings at one time. And I believe that being in a room or area filled with the energy of so many people taken by this turning point in history, and realizing the same thing is just the kind of extreme measure to bring me near that emotional breakdown.

I hope that great moment in history where after over 200 years of this country's existence with so many smart people of various colors making it what it is, that many at long last saw a qualified non-White man, Mr. Barack Obama, and saw fit to let him become President Barack Obama, that we American citizens as a whole are ready to show that we've come to a point in the issue of race, where while I will still have to continue bringing up that wall to allow disappointment, but not hurt - maybe now, we've reached a point where I won't need to bring it up as often.

We Love The Asian Persuasion

For a moment there, I thought I was ahead of schedule with blog posts. Then I realized the one I was working on ahead of schedule was quite ahead of schedule. About a month to correlate with my celebrating my 7th anniversary of my sexual awakening. Once I realized that, I realized I had to post something to get you guys horny for the weekend, and then I came across something (to be more exact, someone) that caused another sexual awakening in me.

The other day, I went to one of my favorite sites for still pics, WeLoveGuys.net. And what did I see? This fine specimen of manhood.

They said they should be ashamed of themselves that in their 1.5 years online, this hottie Peter Le was the 1st Asian-American they've ever featured. I did give my opinion about that. I said because of his hotness, that they were forgiven. What I left out in complimenting them (because I didn't want to be too political) was how at least their got the clue before so many American porn companies out here of how Asian men are hot as well.

Entranced, I scrolled down the page to see the rest of the pics. When I reached the bottom of the post, and saw that he was also featured on their more explicit brother blog, WeLoveNudes.net. That made me hear angels sing, because that meant I was going to be able to beat my meat to the fantasy of wrapping my hole around that cock, and having a closer-to-true picture of what his cock would look like if he was to ever dip it in me.

If some of you are wondering why I seem to be make such a case for the sexiness of Asian men, I'll explain because some of you might either be new to reading my blog, or forgot the fact altogether that on the night of my sexual awakening I also lost my virginity - in a 5-man orgy. And the guy of that orgy who I had sex with was - you guessed it, Asian. And it was good. Rubbing that naturally smooth skin, and squeezing that hairless butt, was such a turn-on. And every Asian guy, I fooled around with since, while I'll start by rubbing the torso, it's just a starting point to make my way to smooth butt - before, during, and after the sex.

Now don't get me wrong. I for the most part have no real problem with little or alot of body hair, but at least I'm not one of these lame-brains who act like Asian men are lacking in manhood because of them having little to no body hair. And I see no lack of manhood in the sight of Peter Le.

So if you don't have a playmate tonight, take a look at this, and you'll be fine.

Sex Party Etiquette: Never Obsess

In past posts I have talked about the fun I've had at sex parties while learning new things about myself in the process. Well with a 3-day weekend approaching, that includes a possible trip to a sex party, I felt the need to remind guys of some rules of etiquette that some need to follow.

I mentioned in my last post about my going to NY Jock Party of how someone kept touching me even though I never responded. It happened again at my last visit. It may have been the same guy or someone who looked similar, but the behavior was the same. I was expecting Steve to show up, but during my wait, I did some fooling around with a few people. While I was fooling around with those people, EACH AND EVERY TIME he felt the need to touch me, and I never reciprocated. Not even by giving him so much as a smile. Then my friend Steve arrives, and while I was making out with Steve, this guy has to touch me. Steve fucks me, there are his hands on me AGAIN. Then while doing the after-sex make-out with Steve, AGAIN - this guy's fuckin' hands are on me. And everytime while I'm fooling around with someone else - ONCE THE FUCK AGAIN - guess what? Mr. Dumb-As-A-Bucket-Of-Rocks' hands are on me. This guy was the negative sterotype of a tall muscular guy - all brawn and no brains. I mean at what point does this retard learn that I AM NOT FUCKIN' INTERESTED?

Steve didn't notice the aggravation this guy was causing me at all. At one point he asked me if I wanted to go somewhere else. I responded to him with an emphatic, "YES!"

I told him how that guy was always touching on me, and Steve replied with a calm reassuring tone, "Hey, he likes you."

Steve didn't realize that I didn't need reassurance, but from this guy, I needed distance. So I told Steve, "No, you don't understand, he's been doing it since before you even got here. I can deal with 'like', but damn, that guy is obsessed. And it's not cute. It's fuckin' annoying."

At one point in the night I got to see this guy in the light, and he had a very nice body, and wasn't at all bad-looking. BUT as I thought back to his obsessive behavior towards me throughout the night, he became more and more ugly by the milli-second.

Another rule of etiquette that some people need to be reminded of is something I was reminded of in a recent blog post from my friend and fellow blogger In Bocca Di Lucas from the blog, Top To Bottom. He reminded us in that post of how some guys like to pull "the ol' shoving-my-head-into-their-crotch gesture, seeking oral satisfaction". And how unless you initally show that you like to be pushed around, that this gesture is a rude gesture.

I experienced this very recently at a Hot Jock Party. I was fooling around with one guy, then this other guy comes along with his hard-on and puts his dick in my face. I was so into the mode of being sexually insatiable that I didn't give the care I usually would of who it was. So actually, this guy got lucky to even pull that trick and get me to suck his dick at all.

This is where this bonafide so-half-assed-even-for-a-half-wit fucked himslef over royally.

Not only did he grab my head to try shoving his cock down my throat, but he grabbed me to make me devote more attnetion to him. This is the drawback to being a pornstar whose presence was not promoted at a sex party, because then you don't know if that behavior is because of that assinine assumption of "he's a pornstar, so he'll have sex with any of us without delay", or if that behavior is because the guy is simply a fuckheaded asshole because he oversteps his bounds often. I don't care which one it was in this case. Either way, I didn't appreciate it NOT ONE FUCKIN' BIT. And he got that shown to him every chance he tried approaching me thereafter.

I'm sitting on a bed and jerking my hard-on, and he stands in front of me with his big hard-on as if I'm just going to lovingly gag myself with it. - uh WRONG, MUTHA FUCKA!

He started out being a good-looking older guy who with proper conduct, could have stayed good-looking in my eyes, and got my tight hole wrapped around his thick dick. But instead of him - another tall, good-looking, older, hot-bodied, and better-mannered hottie got that pleasure. And his better manners helped him to maintain his good looks and add to his H.Q. (Hotness Quotient).

These obsessive behaviors make me wonder that while I know why I'm single, if these guys are also single, that it might be because of that obsessive and desperate behavior.

The bottom line of all this is to remind you that YOU MUST be ready to take "no" for an answer sometimes. No matter how great you think you look, or whether you think because your prospective hook-up is a Porn Actor that he/she will give it up without fuss, or because you believe that at a sex party "there is no such thing as 'no'", going to a sex party following any or all of these credos makes you an ugly and undesirable creature. You are not a man by any means behaving like this.

So respect others space, so you can demand the same in return. And if you're not desired right away, move on to another prospect. NEVER OBSESS.

Now go have some safe and sane fun fucking each other senseless.

What Recruiting Bitches Deserve

Recently, there was a post on Fleshbot about "gay-for-pay" porn actor Pat Bateman/Matt Murdock. It expressed anger over how he was doing his bottom (bonafide dumb ass, Marc Stone) doggy-style and using the bottom's back as a table so he could watch a girlie mag while fucking him.

In response to that, I posted this comment:

I think that to all media, producers and viewers who are dumb enough to be recruiters by making the whole gay-for-pay scenario seem like good entertainment, this is exactly the kind of behavior you deserve. Having this rubbed in their faces with such humiliation. I'm glad to see it.

If viewers make enough noise about their anger towards this as they have here, maybe these producers will hire some gay or bi MEN. I emphasize MEN, because a real man is secure enough to admit that he is gay or bi, instead of the bullshit "I'm straight, but I find gay sex fun, too."If these guys find gay sex fun as well, then they should stop being wimpy bitches and admit to being bi.

As I've thought it over, viewers shouldn't be making noise over the fact of how his simply doing it for the money was put so blatantly in their faces. They should be making noise over how the "GAY-FOR-PAY" GENRE SHOULDN'T EXIST AT ALL. This genre is a clear display of self-loathing and hetero-phobia.

Self-loathing because it's the whole "misery loves company" psychology. These producers, directors, viewers, and forms of media who support the "gay-for-pay" genre are using a beautiful thing like sex as a way to make a man who professes himself as straight to "walk a mile in a gay man's shoes" shall we say. When in all actuality, all anyone regardless of their sexual orientation needs to understand a gay man's plight is to be humane enough to not revel in seeing someone oppressed for any unjustified reason, such as the sexual going-ons between consenting adults. But the gay males (far from being men) who feed this "gay-for-pay" machine are so weak in taking their stand that they hate their lives, trying to make a so-called "straight guy" do what they do is their revenge. When in turn, all it does is further displays self-loathing amongst gays that right-wing politicians can use to plead their case of how gays are "diseased in the head", and further allows the so-called "straight guy" to deny his homo- or bisexuality.

Hetero-phobia because it's a clear sign of how these producers, directors, viewers, and media supporters don't live by the principle of "live and let live", which is the same principle they claim to want straight right-wingers to do for them. We are supposed to all be adults here, and it's a damn shame that I must remind you of how 2 wrongs don't make a right. Making a self-professed straight man have sex with another man by throwing big numbers of dollars in his face is wrong. I have always given credit to Jake Cruise for his website, "Straight Guys For Gay Eyes". It is a website for those gay men who are secure enough with their homosexuality that they don't need to see a self-professed straight man have sex with a guy. The gay male viwers of this site are man enough to use their imagination as to what it would be like to have sex with that man IF he was willing to pound male ass the way he does that pussy.

And Yes, I said the P-word. Pussy! Pussy! Pussy! Pussy! Pussy! Now, stop being punk bitches and being afraid of it. After all, you came out of one, so if it wasn't for the beauty of pussy, you wouldn't be here.

Maybe that's what the "gay-for-pay" supporters problem is - ENVY. Envy over how they can't naturally pro-create. WELL GET THE FUCK OVER IT. It's one of the cons you signed up for when you decided to be true to your homosexuality. Now, man-up and deal with it as I do.

What astounds me most about this is how it is a clear sign of how when people are doing something insulting to others, they always tell on themselves. That's what this director at Falcon's Str8Men.com was doing here. He told on himself as to how he lacks respect for a straight man by not letting him really be a straight man and have sex with a woman, and admire the beauty of his manhood that way. Instead, he took away the beauty of whatever manhood Pat Bateman had. And Pat Bateman/Matt Murdock and Marc Stone were both dumb enough to let him.

So while Pat Bateman is an ass for agreeing to be a "gay-for-pay" porn actor in the 1st place, many people's anger in this situation is misplaced. It belongs directed towards the producers and directors of not just Str8Men.com, but all sites and video companies that cater to this genre. And get angry at yourself as well, if you're enough of a trifling dumb-shit to support it. This is the gay porn genre that incites gay-bashing. Think about it. Any man walking into a porno shop sees the posters of both straight and gay porn, whether that straight man wants to admit it or not, he catches a glimpse of that poster for a video by company specializing in "gay-for-pay". What impression does that give him of gay men, if a big advertisement for the "gay-for-pay" genre is held as such a big attraction for gay men?

It says, "Gay men live to recruit."

And in return the straight guy may say, "Not me."

So the slightest gesture from a gay man no matter how nonthreatening can incite violence in that straight man to protect his personal space, because that ad made this straight man feel that gays want to intrude upon his sexual nature. And one's sexual nature is something that should be held sacred in every human being.

Damnit, do unto others as you want done to you.

LIVE AND LET LIVE!