Go-Go Safe Zone

Many of us, even straight women, go to gay bars/clubs, and have sexual fantasies about the go-go boys. However, for one reason or another most don't deserve to be dancing on the bar, the box, or stage, much less lusted after. Whether it's because they (a)simply can't dance, so you can tell their light skin color got them the gig, or (b)they have a blatant attitude with which they give preferential treatment to certain patrons based on skin color, ethnicity, age, and/or gender, which if they were really competent, they wouldn't show that at all. These go-go boys' prejudice is so out of control they completely turn a blind eye to how respectful that patron may be. I've discussed this before in an old blog post entitled "Go-Go Boy - Etiquette Lacking".

So this poem that got its debut at July's Titillating Tongues tells the story of meeting a (sad to say) modern-day rarity ---- a go-go boy who because he does his job right, is actually worth trying to hook-up with.

We feast our eyes on go-go boys

More eye candy in the gay scene

But lust overrides managerial etiquette

Based on all I have seen

Rhythm-less Nation twinks & muscles

Being light or White got them on the bar

But all having hearts of dark

Then you arrive, the one shining star

With no racist, ageist, or sexist standards

You treat each respectful patron the same

That makes you more desirable

Enough to tip, then try for your name

Asking your name is pretty common

Asking your phone number, I may go too far

For you’re not chained by job or choice

It’s just my wish you also feel the spark

I dared to ask for your number

I first figured you fake saying, “On my break”

But come your break, you sought me out

Saying, “I keep the promises I make”

Back dancing, your body really swayed to the beat

Making a sexy movie play in my head

Of how skilled you must be

If we had each other on a bed

Whether it’s you riding the pony

Or me riding hard on yours

Our uncontainable pleasure moans

Will be going through the walls and doors

Then you interrupted the movie in my mind

With music hotter than the dj’s jams

You said, “Why put off for another night

When I’m free tonight to be in your hands?”

Baby, whether it’s your place or mine

Let’s vow to keep on the lights

For you have been working

In the dark all night

Plus oooo, your body sweat

The light lets me see

The fun is lessened by the dark

Where I’ll only feel it on me

All the terms while you’re on the job

With me, let them leave your mind

For you are not on the clock

This is your private sexy time

So don’t do a striptease

Just undress

No giving lap dances

Just give sex

And the music blasting our ear drums

Are the bed squeaks and moans to the rhythm of our fun

Should you share a bed with me

Consider it a go-go safe zone

Where the pressures of your job

Are meant to become unknown

The only dance to please me

Is the one you do in and on me

Missionary, cowboy, doggy, and spoon

Cumming,

Then cuddling,

Then sleeping ‘til noon

Grindr & Listeners - A Tale of 2 Rarities

As I conveyed in my poem "Bare & Read Our Bodies", social media, dating/hook-up websites and apps contribute to the human race's increasing social ineptitude. That's why most of my hook-ups and dates (written about on this blog and not) originated from an outing in the real world. Not sitting on my ass, or being a wallflower wandering through cyberspace on a phone, tablet, or computer.

Recently, I had a hook-up through one of those apps. Grindr, to be more exact. A hook-up app whose:
1)senseless censoring of some of my pics have made me feel harassed, to the point that I once took the app off my mobile device, and;
2)contribution to the aforementioned social ineptitude of our community led to a line in the poem "Bare & Read Our Bodies".

So the 1st rarity for me was actually getting a hook-up out of Grindr, period. The 2nd rarity was something good coming from that hook-up.

I've said before that I'm that type of guy who some online profiles hate because I do the back-and-forth messages. For no matter how horny I may be, I want to feel as safe as possible about the stranger I am either letting into my home, or leaving my home to go to. And that's how this guy came into the picture. He was someone I had been chatting with on Grindr for some time. So this night, we finally decided to meet up.

When we decided to meet up, we started exchanging pics. From all he said I knew whether he was a top or bottom, he liked my ass and was going to eat me out. So I asked if  he was a top or versatile. He said he was versatile. So although he was ready to prepare himself to bottom, I told him he didn't have to because I was getting in a bottoming mood for him.

He came to my place. I greeted him wearing only sweatpants and sandals on my feet. He started to strip right away. I gave him my ass to eat out as promised. His tongue went against my tight hole to open it up. Once he got a little bit in, he licked what he could like the walls of my ass tunnel were made of gold. I then sucked his cock. Put a condom on him. I pleasantly surprised myself when I sucked it to keep him hard, and discovered the condom was flavored - vanilla. I lubed up my ass, then his cock. We then started fucking with me riding him cowboy-style. Then we evolved into missionary. At one point he stopped. I thought it was him wanting to change positions. Hence our conversation as follows:

Me: You want to change positions?

My Top: It's up to you. What do you want to do?

Me: I'm good with whatever. It's up to you.

My Top: I feel the same way. It's up to you.

Me: Well, since you talked so much about my ass, do me doggy so you can enjoy the view you came here for.

At this point, I got on all fours, and my top pounded my ass from behind.

My original plans for this hook-up was for it to be a quickie. I was to fuck, shower, then head out soon after, which he was aware of. Hence part of the reason for his quick strip after walking into my apartment. The other part was that I told him beforehand that I was now anxious to see him naked. But that conversation during the sex made it so phenomenal, that I said to myself, "To hell with going out! Keep on fuckin'!"

That same kind of exchange happened later on as well. And I again welcomed it. For it meant BOTH of us were communicating a desire to please the other, and compromise whatever we may have really wanted at the moment in order to make our sex partner happy. Now, this was just a one-night stand. But we did more communication in that one night than many couples do after years together. Probably since their 1st night in bed together.

What makes my playmate even more deserving of a pat on the back is the fact that he was only 23. I've seen a lot less communication and desire to please their partner from guys not just older than his 23 year-old self, but even worst...from guys older than my 42 year-old self.

Well, if some of you guys ever wonder why you're single, I think this tale of one of my sexcapades just showed you a BIG reason why.

It's because of SEXUAL SELFISHNESS. Everything you do when you fuck is all about pleasing you, and not at all your partner. You are a human being, and whether he/she is a one-night stand or the love of your life, so is your sex partner. Now, there are enough things in this world to dissolve a relationship. Do you really want your selfishness, or lowering your own worth by tolerating someone else's to be what dissolves yours?

And I'm passing this knowledge along after observing the courtesy of a 23 year-old one-night stand. If you are any number of years older than that, and are not that courteous to your sex partner, don't you think it's time to stop your selfishness, and bring some good Karma you way.

After all, none of us are getting any younger.

Open Letter To Pat Robertson

Dear Mr. Robertson,

You don’t know me, and I do not follow you. My name is LeNair. I am a 42 year old predominately gay bisexual. I am writing this because I have heard of numerous accounts with video proof of you pointing your finger at the gay community. For everything from blaming us for world disasters to the most recent one I am hearing as to how you said that we should come out as “straight”.

Well, Mr. Robertson, this message has many questions for you. Starting with,…

Why don’t you come out as "gay"?

Or at least come out as "curious". Take note that being curious does not necessarily mean that you participate in gay sex. But you have lived a life, and led your followers to be ashamed of the sheer human nature of sexual curiosity. Like I started this message off with saying, I don’t follow you. So maybe you have spoke on the issue of curiosity. Well if you have, then they have been overshadowed by your condescending anti-gay rhetoric.

This (or anything else I say in this message) is by no means meant to be a snide remark. I am actually 100% serious. For you see, your repeated anti-gay talk brings to mind for me the age-old sayings “it takes one to know one”, and “doth protest too much”. The reason why I say this is because once upon a time, I was much like you. Anti-gay, almost to the point of obsession where I dissected the reasons as to why I was having my homosexual feelings. Feeling that since I was recognizing what you claim as a problem, then I could embrace the so-called solution. I lived this lie until I was nearing 31 years old. And it almost killed me. For there were many days in the 18 years prior that I contemplated suicide. But I see now there was no problem, therefore no need to embrace a solution. Now, please don’t continue your hate-speech by saying that contemplation of suicide was the devil making me run from sin. I’ve heard this jargin before as well, and it is complete crap. For if it was, then why am I now happier that I stuck it out, and went against the “rules” taught by people like you?

As for you blaming the gay community for natural disasters, my next question is:

Do you also blame fornicators, adulterers, racists, snobs, etc. for these disasters as well? After all, there are a lot more of them than there are of us. And as much as you may try to deny it, all of those sins I listed (and more) can be found in your church. Mainly due to the fact that no matter how much work you might claim to do for the underprivileged, your church is founded on the idea of buying your way into Heaven. So these sins get looked upon with a blind eye, instead of 2 eyes that are wide open.

Mr. Robertson, let me say that I have never seen any of the videos of you online saying what you say against gays. I’m drawn to the headlines, and read your quotes in the accompanying articles, and that’s it. That is all I can stomach. The reason I can’t stomach watching your videos is not because “the truth hurts”, as I’m sure you’re ready to say. For if you take into account how many years it took me to come to terms with my homosexuality, I have been led long enough by your “truth”. I have denied myself quite a bit of time feeling alive because of that “truth”. So do not even try going there. But since every cloud has a silver lining, the silver lining is seeing that your “truth” is in quotation marks because it is false. And realizing that gives me the bravery to confront you, for it also gives me the wisdom to see through you.

All of this that I see from you really makes me feel sorry for you. For what I see of you now is what I once feared of myself becoming in my old age. A creature consumed with denial about something. Whether it’s you being in the closet for so long, or you being curious and denying yourself the God-ordained right to ask questions about sexuality. Something in you fuels this constant finger-pointing at the gay community. In regards to it possibly being that you are in denial of your own degree of homosexuality, be it big or small, I ask you:

Is this finger-pointing at gays because after so many decades of denying it, you are envying the progress of gay acceptance that made you keep your gay desires hidden? So now you feel your time to be true to yourself has passed?    

These are all relevant questions, and again, are by no means meant to be insulting, or hateful. They are meant to make you take a look inside yourself, and ask yourself, “Why won’t I just let these people be? Why am I so obsessed with the gender of who they have sex with, or love as their mate?”

So I leave you now to soul search, and find your answers. And whatever they are, I hope you can live with them and leave my community the same way I am leaving you ----peacefully. Thank you. That is all.

Be U2B. FREE,

LeNair Xavier

The Underwear Expert Spurts Emptiness

In response to my post, "Black Guys Wear Underwear, Too", I had an ongoing communication with Danny Schmittler of The Underwear Expert. He said he understood my frustration and he was going to write an article addressing the issue to post on The Underwear Expert. This promise in the following email was made back in December after I wrote my post. So imagine my frustration of getting delay after delay when I would write emails to check in on the progress of the investigative piece promised in this email:

Finally, on the morning of July 8th, I got this email from Danny:

I think he figured that doing a post of making me "Rookie of the Week" on his site would shut me up. Well:
1) my date and time of birth is March 31, 1971 at 2:57 AM. So while I don't look my age, many need to take note that I was born at night, not last night;

2) He can feature all of the sporadic males of darker complexion all he wants. The problem is with the underwear companies actually using them as their main spokesmodel, which they repeatedly do not. So how can you be "actively making sure" your "site is inclusive of more people"? Oh yes, that he is doing. It is inclusive of more people....More light and White people. I'm a writer. And as a damn good one, I'm word-specific. So did he really think his phrase of "more people" was going to make me miss the absence of phrases like "more diversity in the colors of" "more diverse models", "more ethnically diverse models", or "more color diverse models"? Lastly;
3) I've been combatting the issue of racism in media so long since my porn days that I know every stall tactic in the book. So I saw this bullshit coming. I was just hoping to be proven wrong for once. Hence...

My reply:

Now, if I have saved all of the emails that started and ended my correspondence with Danny Schmittler, then there should be no doubt that I have saved every single one in between. Including ones of his reasons for delays. Such as his claims of having a draft in his inbox, but he wants to fine tune it. Or his last delay before this final email where he says he needs an extension because he is going on vacation.

This started 7 MONTHS ago. He's putting together bullshit easy posts to show off mainly White boys (and some light-complexioned Latinos) in their underwear. Danny Schmittler is not putting together some underwear-version of The Huffington Post. Maybe if he was, and this promsied article would have been a start, then I could better deal with the delays. But as I see till this day, he (like many) are catering to the same shallowness, narrow-minded concept of beauty that caused me to write "Black Guys Wear Underwear, Too" in the first place.

So to all of you who look at "The Underwear Expert" and follow his site, and think he's so great, THINK AGAIN!!!

And based on all of this evidence, the only things that would dare to disagree, or say I am overreacting, are things are that also racism-catering Whites, and sell-out people of color. Both of which are just as bad as an actual racist. For even displaying it in something so seemingly trivial as underwear, every action of yours fuels a much bigger problem. That includes the bottom line of all of this, which is a promise was broken.

So with all of that in mind, where is the spiritual worth of such an existence? For money can't buy everything.