Don't Want His Name

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Dear Condom Police & BBBH

As with all of my blog posts, these subjects are in my head all along, but it takes one incident too many to be the straw that broke the camels back. Therefore, making me need to speak out.

This past Monday at The Cock, 2 guys were in the back fucking. Some busy-body patron came over there as if he's never seen such a thing at The Cock (of all places) even though he's there just about every week to say loudly, "Are they fucking?!" Then he continues with, "Are they using a condom?!" So with this he tries to use the light of his cell phone to see if they were. He proudly told another patron that he was being the Condom Police, especially since World AIDS Day was just the day before. Which I say it doesn't matter if it was the day after news of the new super-strain of HIV was discovered, it's still none of this busy-body bitch's business.

To continue, after the couple was done, the busy-body went over to them, and asked them if they used a condom. They said that they didn't, and they were boyfriends. The busy-body turned to the patron he was commenting to before, repeating that he was being the Condom Police and added that since they were boyfriends it was ok. Which I had already figured they were because I actually saw them walk in together. However, this busy-body goes back to that patron again less than 2 minutes later whispering how he doesn't really think they're boyfriends. Well, if they weren't boyfriends and you were this couple, wouldn't you say whatever you felt it took to make this busy-body bitch go away and stop intruding upon your playtime with whomever? Many might. I however, would have told him straight up to go plug his mouth with a dick and mind his mother fuckin' business.

But here's some degree of hypocrisy for you...

Not too long after talking this crap about the couple, later on I find the busy-body making out with the couple. The very same couple that he claimed he thought lied about being a couple to shut him up. This doesn't speak well for his attempt as the Condom Police. Nor does it speak well for the couple's self-respect, individually or as a whole. For when the fucking was happening, I was standing in between this busy-body and the couple, but way closer to the busy-body. So if I heard the busy-body, so should they.

Now, don't think I saw all this because I was being a busy-body myself. No. I saw this because I always take note of everything going on around me. Even while having my own fun, which I did.

Some might forget my history on the matter of condom use, and try to call me a hypocrite. Well for them, here's a reality reminder check you need to cash fast....

I have never pledged allegiance to the Condom Police, or BBBH (BareBack BrotherHood). I have never shoved condom use down your throats. Nor have I with barebacking. I have always been about choice. It is the reason the photo to your right has it's message, as well as the blog post that introduced it. And my stand on condom use remains the middle ground I have proclaimed for quite awhile now. That position being:

Barebacking and condom use is a matter of choice. And while it is unnatural to have a barrier between you and your sex partner, with HIV, and all of the STDs and STIs out here, one should consider condom use.

This stance is much to the chagrin of some people. Such as the little troll who attended the last discussion I moderated about gay porn being the gay community's educator and indicator. Who because of his claim of being a counselor felt that gave him the right to talk over me (the moderator) after I (as moderator) gave him the floor with no interruption. All because he wanted me to play Condom Police, instead of the middle ground I just rehashed. Now, here's the possibility of hypocrisy from another member of the Condom Police...For I'm not 100% sure, but he looks very much like the same guy who played commentator in my "Sex Party Etiquette: Who Hired The Commentator?" when I was trying to have sex with what turned out being a popper-addicted Asian.

With all of the extremism from the Condom Police, as well as the BBBH in mind, I have this to say to both parties:

Facebook Double Standard Strikes Again

The attitude of White entitlement is something that has been around for centuries now. The signs are definitely evident here in New York City. Even if you don't want to admit it.

One of those that don't want to admit it is Facebook, and whoever was the White (or non-White) sell-out who recently reported for posting this update:

White guys with an attitude of #WhiteEntitlement disgust me putting their feet on poles in a #NYC #subway car, or take over seats like they're in their home or office. Then have the fuck-faced audacity to get annoyed when you want (or need) them to move.

Look you fucktard faggot mother fucka! You DON'T own the fuckin' subway train! And you are NOT at home! You need to learn your space and limitations - the same way throughout history, #racist Whites have reminded OR robbed it from others!

Exhibit A - there is a reason Native Americans are called "Native". 

And I am more than aware that there are guys of other colors/ethnicities who try to assimilate. And for them I say as I've always said...The follower of a fool is a bigger fool than the original.

For posting this honest fact about signs of White entitlement in New York City, I was blocked for posting on Facebook for 12 hours. Of course you know that whoever reported me will never have to nerve say it to my face. For the anonymity allowed by Facebook in reporting someone is how they got computer bold enough to write the report and send it in the first place.

Well, in response to this, I wrote this message to Facebook telling them why they were wrong to take such an action:

The reason you were wrong for blocking my statement is because it was based on your own racism. I'm sure had I had been White, you would have had no problem letting that statement go through. It's the reason why numerous news reports show anti-Black, anti-Asian, anti-non-White hate speech with a Facebook page attached to it.

Furthermore, it was NOT hate speech. I was speaking on a bad attitude derived from an ethnicity's history in the USA, which as a American, I should be allowed to do. It's called, FREEDOM OF SPEECH. That is NOT "hate speech", but I'm sure you consider it as such when most of the staff is probably White, and are probably guilty of the very action I'm speaking of.

Now, don't say it was my use of the words "faggot", or some curse word. For I will catch you in the lie there as well. For I see the words "niggas", "niggers", or "niggaz"  on Facebook all day long. Of course you have no problem with that. And you'll wash your hands of it especially if a Black person said it, because that's the loathsome thing you think of us being anyway.  Then I advise you to take the same stand on my saying "faggot", for I myself am a gay man. BUT both of those words have a negative meaning for me that goes beyond the people most consider those words to represent. And if it's any curse word that you have a problem with, AGAIN HYPOCRISY. For there are so many curse words flying around on Facebook now that sometimes I myself am shocked by what I see.

So this blocking is bureaucratic, hypocritical mess on your end. It's not the first time I've heard of it being done by you. And I'm finding it a shame that your own insecurity in character made you feel the need to do so. Thank you.

Well, you know what they say....You can't keep a good man down. And I wasn't down. For while I was banned from posting on Facebook, I did what I've been wanting to do for the past couple of days now.

I wrote not another erotic poem. But a love poem.

It's entitled "So Many Songs". More on that whenever or wherever I'll debut it. I just mentioned that to show that something good and positive came out Facebook's douchebag attempt to pretend to be my Mother and give me a "time out". Maybe if they learn from real parenting themselves they wouldn't be doing such overcompensating by virtual parenting, and hating the truth. Just saying....

Potential(?) Rapist At The Cock

On Saturday night, I posted this status update on Facebook:

What sparked this update were numerous run-ins I've had over time with overly aggressive and obsessed patrons, primarily at The Cock. But one recent run-in is someone you need to be warned of.

He's over 6 feet tall. Light-complexion Black or Latino with a goatee. His hair length can be described as that of a small afro if he's Black. And since I admit to being a lousy judge of age, I'll say that he's probably late 20's to late 30's. Also, on both occasions, he was wearing a polo shirt and loose fitting jeans. Any artist that comes up with a composite from that, email it to me, and if you're right, I'll edit this post to include it. Because after you read this, you'll see this guy is someone to be cautious of.

I have repeatedly said that my ventures into a backroom are more about observing sexual behavior. Hooking up should it happen, is just a fringe benefit to it. And this night was no different.

I went into the backroom area of The Cock shirtless. My being shirtless plays an important role later, so take a mental note of it. While I was back there, the guy I described earlier pulled on my jeans mumbling desperately, "Let me get a feel! Let me get a feel!"

He pulled on the waist of my jeans so hard that the hard cotton seam in between the legs of my jeans was uncomfortably digging into the center of my perineum. Almost like a wedgie, which digs at the sides. After this, I walked away from him, and out of the backroom area. He followed me. Everywhere I went, he followed me. I went over to the DJ, and they saw me yelling at him. After this, to avoid a violent reaction like the last obsessed nutcase evolved into, I went to the front to security. Security told us to stay away from each other. Not a problem on my end since that's what I've been trying to do all along. The guy tried "apologizing" to me in front of security, claiming he misunderstood. What was there to misunderstand?! I said NO! Mainly because he tried to pull my jeans off of me by pulling them through my crotch and over my fuckin' head! Plus anyone with sense knows that his "apology" was all a show for security.

The problem is he didn't stay away from me. He stalked me for the rest of the night. Staying a "safe" distance away.

Fast forward to this past Tuesday, I went to $2 Tuesdays which I once reviewed. Since the exhibitionism of The Cock allows it, I was walking around in the sling outfit pictured on the left. I went in the bathroom putting my pants back on at one point. And saw someone standing in front of me.

It was him again.

He actually tried talking to me asking me how I was doing, like all was cool between us. Well because of our last encounter, I was not entertaining this obviously socially inept dipshit's attempt at conversation. Then he decided to ask a question that caused blast after blast from me towards him...

He said, "Why don't you want to talk to me?"

I paused, and began seething with anger at him having the fuck-faced audacity and his being so socially inept that he would ask me that question considering his behavior towards me during our 1st encounter. Behavior that gave me a taste of what a rape feels like. So I told myself that he doesn't deserve my diplomacy. Hence why I replied to him,... "Because you're a FUCKIN' ASSHOLE!"

He then continued trying to "explain his side". Then he went back to that crap he said before saying, "I misunderstood, and I apologized to you."

I told him, "I don't care at this point. Because if you did that to me once, then I'm sure you did it to someone else."

Then if this fucktard hadn't already shown himself to be dumber than a bucket of rocks, he made it worst by doing  the oldest trick in the book a sex offender does to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. He said, "Well, you were walking around here in your underwear. So what was I suppose to think?"

My seething at that point should have had my mouth foaming. I said, "That does not justify you grabbing on me the way you did."

Keep in mind that in this exhcange me an him are talking about the 1st encounter, and not me at that moment. Which if you recall in that 1st encounter, I was not in my underwear. I was instead shirtless. My point is that if you're going to try avoid taking responsibility for your lack of self-control by blaming my exhibitionism, then keep the facts straight as to how much exhibitionism I actually displayed.

This did not end there. I was kneeling down pulling my jeans over my shoe. And though as much as I have made my lack of interest known, what does he do next?...He tries to close the bathroom door. Now, I might not be a trained dancer, but I can move like one. So I leaned over on one hand, and kicked the door out of his hand, and it went back slamming against the wall, which he found amusing. Then a patron walked in. So now you should be wondering, what would he have done, or tried to do if he had I not stopped him from closing that door?

Some might think I should have some fear considering his size over me. Well if I had any, I wasn't feeling it. For if I had any fear of him, it was greatly replaced by rage and overshadowed by another fear. Fear of myself. For one of my greatest fears is my dark side surfacing. You may have read of its surfacing on one and two prior occasions. And I will attack like an animal in the wild in protecting my personal space. So when that personal space is my body - it's understandable that not only can I become verbally and physically violent, but actually homicidal. And your adult age, size, or gender is of no importance as to how disposable you are, or my method in doing so.

After I left the bathroom, he continued following me. He sat on a bar stool next to me, and tried to continue talking to me. I exploded in front of the bartender, go-go boys, and other patrons looking him right in the eyes, which is actually quite dangerous for me to do. Knowing this is why I wrote this Facebook update with this old photo the next day:

With hindsight being 20/20, my lashing out in front of the bartender was my subconscience making sure my dark side didn't reach the violent stage it could easily reach at this point. Because I knew the bartender at the least would stop this, which he did. But again, it did not stop this guy's obsession.

Some of you are probably thinking that as a gay Black man at 42 years of age, I should be glad someone is that interested in me. Well, let me tell you, I'm not. I don't care how lonely you may be, no one should (or will) be happy with that kind of attention. For this guy shows all the signs of a potential rapist. That is if he hasn't raped someone(s) already. For as I told him when I didn't accept his supposed apology, "...if you did that to me once, then I'm sure you did it to someone else."

As you can see, I can handle myself in a situation. I am writing this because I know not everyone can. So for the sake of those who can't, until he gets some professional help that gets results, a red flag needs to go off if you see this guy approaching you. Composite artists, do your thing...