Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Write That Down #41

We as humans have always been users of the arts to both express and hide our pain, be it by singing, writing, composing, dancing, drawing, acting, etc. But nowadays, along with drugs (some of which are FDA approved), we are also using people as tools for hiding our pain a lot more frequently. And sometimes that using of people is by way of sex.

This using of people for sex has reached such a sad level that people aren't just having sex with people claiming it's to numb some pain. It's now at a point where the line, "Sexuality is fluid"  has become common place over the past few years. With people crossing their own natural orientations, and accepting when people do it. Pathetically so, this is especially true in the gay community with sell-outs to humanity by way of being porn producers, directors, actors, and patrons deciding to greenlight the "gay-for-pay" concept in porn, and prostitution, as well as for the sake of tolerating those living "on the down low".

Sexuality is NOT fluid. As a member of free society, you are not straight today and gay tomorrow just because you're horny or for a porn or escorting gig, then back to straight when the tryst is over. ANY member of the gay community adopting this concept is undoing all of the work that gay rights activist have done in getting mainstream society to accept us. But it is quite hypocritcal of the gay community to want the straight majority to accept us when we do things like adopt lines like "sexuality is fluid", for anyone who says it or believes it is not accepting of themselves.

And this also goes for those out there who claim they don't like labels, so they call themselves "sexual". I know that I brought this point up before, and I will bring it up again. The fact is there are times when labels go into overkill. However, in regards to sexual orientation, the word "sexual" is too broad a spectrum, so labels are VERY MUCH necessary. For let's get real as I always do...

A pedophile is SEXUAL.
Someone into bestiality is SEXUAL.
Someone who practices incest is SEXUAL.
A child molester is SEXUAL.
A rapist is SEXUAL.

And it is for this reason why people who call themselves "sexual" or claim "sexuality is fluid" are people who subconsciously confess that their sexual behavior is behavior that cannot be trusted. I'm not saying that someone who labels their sexual orientation is incapable of sexual depravity, but avoiding that much needed label does paint a bigger target on your back for suspicion of sexually depraved actions. For it says that you are hiding something, if not from others, then from yourself. And if you're not man or woman enough to face and love who you are, why should anyone else?

Remember, I define myself as a predominately gay bisexual. Why? Because I am well aware that my sexuality is not "fluid", and I have enough pride in myself to not hide it behind too broad a definition. It doesn't switch from gay to straight in a moment's notice like that line "sexuality is fluid" insinuates. No matter how horny I am, if I am in the mood to poke a hole, most likely it's the hole of a man's ass that I'm looking to poke. I'm not going to poke a beautiful woman's pussy just because she offers it while I'm in a poking mood. She must inspire that straight part of me to surface. For I have a respect for sex that won't let me enter you or let you in me unless that gender-specific and physical attraction are BOTH present.

With all this in mind, that is why my latest "Write That Down" quote reads:
"Sexuality is fluid" is a line made to cover up how empty the sayer and believer is inside. For those of us with enough respect for sex to give it only to someone we're attracted to would NEVER say or believe such a thing.


  1. For me sexuality was fluid to a point. I spent the first 35 years as a straight guy. The next 3 or 4 in a transition phase so I guess bisexual would be the label to apply whilst I came to terms with changes in my life. And now I'm 100% gay and very happy with no thought of changing back. So sexuality isn't fluid in the way you mean (i.e. switching in the short term) but it can change over time.

  2. Hi Paul,

    Thanks for commenting.

    I must correct you in the fact that the phrase "sexuality is fluid" is not "the way I mean" as you put it. It's the way those who invented and believe the phrase mean it. Hence my issue with the phrase.

    I am very word-specific, and do not want to be credited with creating a phrase so synonymous with self-escapism and self-denial.

    Lastly, although I'm not you, so I'm not in your head, I don't believe your sexuality ever changed over time. I believe you were always gay, but because of parents religion, etc., you just never admitted it to yourself. The same way I tried convincing myself I was straight, so I spent years suicidal in "orientation limbo" to later come to terms with my predominately gay bisexuality.

    And it's the looking back on those years of being suicidal that cause me to be as passionate as I am about people being true to their orientation.

  3. Thanks for the reply LeNair. You may be write in that I just didn't question my sexuality earlier. Interestingly when I was at college my friends thought I was gay anyway! At least living a straight life for a bit allowed me to experience having 3 great kids - something which not enough gay men get a chance to do. Sorry your own experiences weren't so good but glad you're in a good place now. Have a great 2012.

  4. L., I very much see your point, and there are alot of valid reasons behind your views, but would it not be seen by some (me, for instance), that you are now antagonizing the LGBT Civil Rights movement? That is, for the person who chooses to identify themselves as sexually fluid, don't blogs & posts such as these give them even more reason to feel disenfranchised (first by society at large, and now by the very communities who are supposed to understand their struggle but instead insist they take a label)? As someone who has had to fight with my own inner demons for years to arrive at a place of self-love and acceptance, I still don't feel a need to speak on my sexuality unless it is relevant to a beneficial situation or purpose. I take pride in the fact that I can wake up with myself and feel confident that I have something to offer the world, without apology or regret, and my orientation, though an integral portion of this revelation, is just that; a portion.

    Of course, it is of the utmost importance that the fight for human rights and social acceptance continue; our younger LGBT generations need to be aware of this struggle and know that they are loved, appreciated, and have a right to identify themselves, and allowed be as happy as the next non-LGBT individual. However, if in their journey of self-discovery and awareness, they find, as many medical & socio-psychologial professionals would argue, sexuality really can't be measured in the same way acidity can be detected via a litmus test, they should also have a right to be accepted and allowed to lead full, happy lives, without fear of rebuke or retribution. I'm sure that these individuals are not seeking to unravel the work of all the dedicated LGBT activists and organizations; they are simply choosing not to be bound by definitions that, with all due respect, are still subjective and relative to the society in which they are used. (CONTINUED...)

  5. (CONTINUED) I was brought to believe that every civil rights cause, particularly in this country, was to bring attention to the plight of each disenfranchised minority, thereby inciting bylaws & civil actions to purport tolerance, which would hopefully bring about more education & acceptance, thereby completing the circle via full societal assimilation (e.g. in the end, there shouldn't be a need to name yourself outside of how you are called unless it is necessary to attain some benign social goal). It is the observation of this humble reader & surveyor of the world that the groups that seem to have the most trouble drawing this circle are the ones who keep tripping over the 'awareness' section; we've become so inordinately obsessed with the proverbial labels you speak of, with "We're here, we're queer, get used to it" and similar mantras that many of us are failing to realize that much of society is responding: "We see you, we're hearing you, what do you need from us?" Instead of proactively pushing forward towards assimilation and diversifying the community, we're happy to settle with fighting amongst ourselves and blaming each other for not "properly" naming our sexuality. This is what distresses me the most about LGBT culture, because there are so many amazing things that we already bring to the world for its benefit, just being who we are, labels or no.

    I think, as we move into the New Age, that it is high time we as LGBT citizens worry less about how we call ourselves, and begin to truly reciprocate & emulate the kind of good-natured, positive behavior that we are now expecting from our peers, co-workers, elected officials, and so on. Hypothetically, putting our arms around the one who calls him or herself fluid and saying, "that's cool," does a far better job of moving the movement forward than pointing them out and saying "you're uncomfortable with yourself, you're a detriment to the cause, and you need to check your sh*t elsewhere." The question that really needs to be answered is, are we mature enough, are we REALLY ready for such a notion? To be as accepting of nominal variants of our community as we insist the world be of us? It's a question that I hope, someday, we can all look each other in the eye and respond with a resounding, "YES."

  6. Jay,

    I am living proof that there is a difference between bisexuality and sexually fluid.

    1) As the point of the post shows, people who define themselves as "sexually fluid" should feel disenfranchised. And since that was the OBVIOUS point of this post...
    Write your own blog post on your space, and direct me to it in your comment on mine. For next time, your comment will be deleted. Thank you.


I HIGHLY respect those willing to stand behind their comments with a name. So if you use "Anonymous" on a viewpoint that challenges mine, IT WILL BE DELETED. For your cowardice to not show yourself makes your viewpoint and you irrelevant.

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