My Tyson Cane Finale - Part 2

If by any chance you can't read those words highlighted, they say"...I run a pilot program where models can learn behind-the-camera."

When I saw this my brain immediately flashed back to my telling him about telling my Mom I do porn, and how he didn't think it was a good idea unless I planned on taking it further by directing or owning my own company. And how when I confirmed that was something I was considering for my future, he said, "You 're not aggressive enough."

I immediately composed an email that I waited until the next day to send, because for touchy matters such as this, I look my emails over and over again to make sure I conveyed my message properly by not being too abrasive, and showing the right degree of diplomacy. The final draft that Tyson Cane received was as follows:

Tyson,

I received a copy of GAYVN in the mail recently, and I read in it a section about you. It stated you saying, ".....I run a pilot program where models can learn behind-the-camera".

Please try to recall this conversation that I recently brought up in my most recent blog:
One day on the set of “The Interview”, I had a conversation with Tyson Cane and vented to him that I was coming close to telling my Mom about my doing porn. ......
His advice was him asking me, why would I want to do that to her. Unless I was looking to get deeper involved in the industry, like as a director or having my own company, I shouldn’t tell her. Which I was considering at the time directing or starting my own company, and still do somewhat (based on some of your comments, I know some of you would like that if I did).

The part that is highlighted is where my question to you comes in. When I told you how directing or starting my own company was something I was considering, why was I not told of this program? Instead, you made the assumption of my character that I wasn't aggressive enough. Being that there are not many minorities in this industry, shouldn't you be encouraging a model's endeavors of progression, and not saying things that could possibly tear down their aspirations?

I am very disappointed at 1)your wrong assumption of me, and even more so 2)the fact that I learned of your program from a magazine, and not from you.

Within 5 minutes, Tyson called me about this email trying to justify his actions. He claimed it for people he feels he "can work with." I did 3 movies under his direction, I think I more than proved myself by my putting up with his flaming crap. He tried to use my not cumming during "The Interview", as how I wasn't someone he couldn't work with. And I was glad he brought that up, because at that moment I realized why I decided not to do a cumshot for him. It was because I had enough of him. He also tried saying that my anger at that moment was why I was difficult to work with, which was complete bullshit. Because I never, ever gave him backtalk of any kind from the day I met him until then. So since he was trying to play mind games on me, and with my brain being my most prized possession, I found myself being blessed that this was a phone confrontation instead of a face to face one. Because the darkest part of me would have most definitely surfaced, and from what I learned about his reputation, this is not the 1st time he has sparked such anger.

He took his last shot by saying that, "You know what? As a model, once I've used you, I have no need for you. I don't have to use you anymore."

I told him, "Fine, because I have been considering that for some time now."

And I really had been, because I felt my time in porn with him was going nowhere. My goal in porn is to appeal to many races and cultures by showing the beauty of sex between different races and cultures. If I limit myself to doing porn with an all minority cast, then that goal will never be met.

Hence why I chose to not become his exclusive.

To explain my upset over that article, I admit that when I come on a set, I'm very quiet. But just because I'm not constantly in someone's face asking, "what's this?" and "what's that?", doesn't mean I'm someone with no aspirations and drive. I am someone who learns by observing, and at his age, Tyson should recognize the fact that there are people out like that.

This brings me back to the word from Part 1, "sellout".

What about those people who do have dreams, but the reason they show no aggression in pursuing them is because they see no way to make those dreams a reality? I think that is a big problem amongst minorities. To big themselves up, racist White America paints this picture of Blacks and Latinos living in the ghetto because they are lazy races of people. Constantly giving other whites the opportunities to help them excel, that if given to a minority, that minority could do just as good or better.

By telling me I'm not aggressive and witholding that information about his pilot program, isn't that what Tyson Cane did to me? He had the perfect opportunity to show me a road to climb further up the ladder, but instead chose to say things that could make me refrain from trying to climb it at all.

Tyson's actions also shows his priorities. I can take criticism. Especially when you have knowledge of a possbile way to correct my supposed flaw. So when your priority is to criticize 1st, and share your knowledge with me 2nd - then I'm all ears. BUT when your priority is to ONLY criticize, whether you do it to me or someone else, then how much respect should I have for you as a colleague, but even more so, as a human being?

As this year comes to a close, I felt I needed to get this out to clean out my closet, and set it up for packing it with the beauty that comes with a new year. A new year that I am (as always) looking very forward to.