Lately, I've been seeing more and more black guys walking around in backrooms wearing hoodies. The problem is not really the hoodie. The problem is that they are wearing the hood of that hoodie on their head. Indoors, that's what someone does when they're hiding their face. When they're ashamed of what they're doing, and/or where they're doing it. And with black males doing it, to a stereotypical white person's eye, it gives them more ammunition to claim black males as more self-hating and have more internalized homophobia. Meanwhile, there are just as many whites doing things to show that same self-hate and internalized homophobia. Such as gay-for-pay, so-called Christian getting caught on gay affairs, sex parties, and on hook-up apps.

Anyway, while such actions show that these males have an issue with self-acceptance based on an  emotional, this action should also leads one to wonder if there is a mental issue involved as well. For why would you try hiding yourself in a sexually permissive space? From a prospective playmate? Allowing someone to use you as just a dick to put in their mouth/ass/vagina?

With those questions in tow, we must not only question the sense of self-worth of the guy wearing the hood. We must also question the sense of self-worth of the guys who agree to play with them. So it seems with all the advances we gays have made in acceptance, many of us are still doing things to show we have not fully embraced our gayness, and the joy to experience from owning that realization of self-identification.

These black males hiding their face are getting action for one said reason. They are letting their big dicks be their means of introduction.

This is even more sad display when you see them allow themselves to be made of fetish of with their #BBC (Big Black Cock) to be their selling point. Primarily to racist white/light complexion size queens. For why else would you entertain anyone who is making such an effort to keep their face hidden? When all you have to entice you is a black guy's big cock, and a difficult-to-see face, then these guys make themselves into walking waste products.


For on November 20th, I wrote a Facebook post telling a recent venture into a backroom. A black guy wearing his coat and hood , without the slightest bit of eye contact from me to signal interest, grabbed my hand to put it on his dick. That made me flip and say to his face pretty much what that Instagram pic says.

View this post on Instagram

In any sex party/backroom play, I NEVER go for the guy who comes into mine, or someone else's frame of view dick first. That is a creature too reliant upon his cock. Since eyes are the windows to the soul, letting you see his eyes first makes it a better chance you're playing with a real man, and not a boy with a toy. #sexparties #sexpartners #backroom #bukkake #gangbang #sexparty

A post shared by LeNair Xavier (@lxtreme1971) on Nov 9, 2018 at 12:42pm PST

By my reaction of throwing his hand off of mine, he quickly discovered that he was wasting his time. Because as far as I'm concerned, such shame made him a walking waste product.

If you're wondering why I am so hard on these guys, it is because I think back to my time before my coming out. I came out as late as I did because I did not want to be them. Wherever in the sexuality spectrum I was to realized that I belong, I wanted to own it so I could enjoy it. Therefore, I would not exhibit shame in my sexuality. Especially if I'm in a sexually permissive space.

So as to why I'm also hard on those appeasing the guys wearing the hoods, it's because they are enabling that display of shame. Again, looking back on my days before coming out, if I went into a backroom with the hood of a hoodie on, I would want, but more so need a reaction to show me that I'm doing something wrong.

This leads me to address why in that Facebook post, I insulted the guys who play with these black guys wearing hoods in the backroom.

Nude Dude Review: Kiiroo Titan + Test Videos

Every sex toy review I do, be it for video or written, goes through a number of masturbation sessions before you see my final assessment. And Kiiroo's Titan went through no different of a process.

For this testing I went to Pornhub's Interactive category. Much to some gay readers' chagrin, all of the videos were straight porn. This is no problem for me because most of the porn I watch is straight anyway, but in my choosing, I focus more so on the guy.

To test an interactive sex toy that can be synced to the action in porn, one would think that my predominately gay bisexual self whose fantasies has me 90+% of the time as a bottom would be testing an anal-friendly interactive toy, and not an interactive stroker like Kiiroo's Titan to watch straight porn. Well, despite all of the many anal-friendly sex toys that I possess, I still like a real live male's cock in my ass the best. So the way I get off with a stroker is by imagining the pleasure the penetrating male in the video is feeling because of his thrusts. And what better way to feel that then by an interactive masturbation sleeve that gives you sensation exactly when the man in the porn you're enjoying is feeling sensation.

So these are the 2 videos I checked out at PornHub to take me on that ride:

The kink I addressed in "Getting Out The Kinks: Pants-LESS is More" about hot guys being bare-assed from the waist down has not gone away since I wrote that blog post 3 years ago. So just seeing the thumbnail of such a video caught my interest. And for the record, before Pornhub got rid of the video, you did get a brief glimpse of the guy's face at one point. So I was not masturbating to a faceless body.

I have long been a fan of Mr. Pete. Watching his body move with that nice ass sway like waves when he thrusts into a woman with his uncut dick after all these years, still has not gotten boring to watch.


As I stated in the Nude Dude Review video, in addition to the interactive modes with the aforementioned videos, I used the auto modes as well. For that test I went to HotGuysFuck and got off to their newest release that week. It featured the muscular Dom Knight going at it in a video. And the cameraman got the angle just right for my taste by focusing on Dom's nice ass.

So now that you see my review process, and what I think of Kiiroo's Titan, you should go get your own, and explore that joy for yourself, a loved one, OR with a loved one. 😉

When You're The 3 In A Couple's 3some

Many gay relationships, especially those of gay males have threesomes every once in awhile. While it is unconventional for the supposed idea of a relationship, there is a way to do it right. And in doing it right, all parties must follow some rules. The couple must do so together and as individuals. Those rules differ however depending on the couple.

One set of rules that doesn't change are those for the invited party, which I have been a good number of times. Rules I have learned from doing it right from the jump, as well as by me learning from my mistakes. Rules that I've become good enough at that I've bee invited back to play more than once by more than one of the couples I have played with. In fact, one of the couples from my past is one with whom I discovered a good deal of the kinks in my "Getting Out The Kinks" label of "L's X-Ray Vision".

There are 4 top rules, and they are as follows:

1) Outnumbered
Being outnumbered is not normally a criteria by which one should give in to what one sexually desires of you. However, in the case of a threesome to which you were invited to by a couple, the role you play with each of them is not your call. Nor is it your call as to what extent you play that role. It's theirs. However, my credo of "Your body, your call" still stands. So what is your call is how much of that offered limitation you take them up on.

In any case, there is no allowing yourself to do with your body what you don't want just because there's 2 of them, and 1 of you. Notice how I did not say "only 1 of you". Because there being 1 of you does not lessen the respect you should demand of your body. But if they are a well-planning, clear-minded couple, then they already know between the 2 of them how far you can go with each of them, and to respect your limitations. And since they are a couple, you must comply. Why? Because...

2) You Are A Guest
For this reason, if they asked, "Your place, or (one of) ours?", you should always answer to go to their place. Or if they're a couple not living together yet, make the home of one of them be the place to play, not yours.

Since we become more domineering in our homes, as we should be, you hosting a threesome with a couple makes it easier for you to forget your place as a guest to their relationship. For even if you go into it wanting that tryst with that couple to be a one time thing, you should still want to be a good enough playmate to be invited back.

3) Like Both Equally
If your only interactions with a couple are via a website or app, then your attraction is totally based on looks. For words on the screen might be enticing, but they are never confirmation until you meet in person. With such being the case, you should not become the 3 for a threesome if you are into one more than the other. So unless the other party plans on being strictly a voyeur, don't plan to be their 3rd if you only want the "cute" guy of that couple. Such as in an interracial couple, don't hook up with the couple if you only want the white guy, or only his Black boyfriend's supposed "BBC". Or if you want the gym-bodied guy, and not his heavyset significant other. If both members of that couple plan on playing, then have the same level of sexual attraction based on looks for both. It may seem like a strict rule to live by to be part of a threesome, but that's the extra work you have to put in by not having an in-person introduction, as well as to avoid bad karma.

If your introduction to a couple wanting a threesome is an in-person one, then while you should still have just as strong a sexual attraction to both parties, it doesn't have to be a sexual attraction based solely on looks. For sometimes, a guy's nice personality actually is a beauty within that turns into a sexual beauty. I've experienced one-on-ones like this, so it can most definitely happen when meeting a couple. And when it does, make sure it causes just as much of a spark as the spark caused by the partner you consider better looking.

4) Ask Questions
Since this is your body you're giving to these people, you have every right to ask questions of the couple you have the possibility of playing with. In additions to questions regarding to the aforementioned points, you also have a right to ask about each member of the couple's HIV/STI status. Although, if you're playing with condoms, it's a unnecessary question. After all, due to the still present shame about HIV and other STIs, guys can lie. Then there's also the many other cases where with enough sexual encounters and no symptoms to show for it, guys just don't know.

With that said, if the couple seems bothered by you asking those unobtrusive questions, then that's a red flag telling you to remove yourself from that situation. For such a couple is not socially equipped to handle a threesome. In fact, it's most likely that they are one of those couples giving open relationships its negative stigma. For such a couple probably has threesomes because their social ineptitude makes them unable to deal with each other. So inviting you is actually them asking you to be a buffer for the night. A duty that you should never allow yourself to be.


Following these rules should make for a great threesome. For as long as these rules for the unconventional are followed, one has less shame to feel about such a display of the unconventional, and instead reveal in sexual bliss and a feeling of  "the more, the merrier" after that threesome.

Heart of Your Hard-On

Before the reading in the video on September 28th, the title of the poem came to me on September 8th. Right before I posted this on Facebook:

The idea came to me out of my love for seeing a man's cock as a work of art by nature.

This is not the 1st time I've seen an upside down heart in a body part I lust after. For if my long-time readers recall, the same thing happened in the backstory for my drawing "Upside-Down Heart Ass", which was an image I saw while banging a bottom from behind. And to this day, I am still flattered that the sex shop Shag posted my drawing on their Tumblr blog.

This is also not the 1st time I've written a poem based off of a cool sounding title. I run with such titles because I take it as a sign that my subconscious knows there's a message, or a new way of thinking to introduce through my poetry.

So now perhaps I've introduced poetry readers and listeners to a new way of looking at a penis. And if you think about it even further, a penis is one upside down heart going into a larger upside-down heart. Making the 2 meeting something that's meant to be.

Lastly, if the above version of the poem is too clean for you, perhaps the XXX gifs and video (from my studio-based and homemade porn) compiled for my XXX version of the poetry video would better suit you. Enjoy. 😉