CHALLENGER: Faux Rainbow

With June being Gay Pride Month, I felt it appropriate to make my CHALLENGER poetry series start getting in people's heads. Because the gay community as a whole needs to be challenged on correcting those things that are making us come off as hypocrites, and now is as good a time as any. So that by the time we do a Gay Pride March in NYC at the end of this month, we may have a reason to not only take pride in being gay, but also in correcting the things that separate us. Thereby strengthening the justification for our demands and the potency of our fight for equal rights. With racism possibly being THE main thing separating the LGBT community from within, it is a must that it becomes undone.

Due to some of the implications made by the poem and/or video, I've included a disclaimer with the video. Mainly because of the lines that imply a desire to burn the rainbow flag and Michael Lucas' face exploding, which was prompted by his constant arrogance in claiming how Blacks are the most homophobic, YET he hires Whites with internalized homophobia calling themselves "gay-for-pay" to be in his movies. I DO NOT condone violence, but these lines and images definitely show how I have grown tired of the excuses by not just the likes of him, but many heads of gay media - from magazines, video, movies, nightlife, etc.

So I hope the poem and video speak to you. 

To those doing the shunning, GET IT TOGETHER!

And to those shunned, STAY STRONG as I LOVE YOU.

A rainbow flag waves in the wind

To be symbolic of gay pride

But I am fearing it waves in vain

When I expose what many of you try to hide

You hear wise words come from the dark skin

But you show how it’s light you favor

For you wait to give him a platform

To praise his light skin as the brand of a savior

To raise up our community

But you are steady keeping it down

Limiting the rainbow of skin

That can add to the power of sound

By treating me like an outsider

You induce dreams of seeing the flag on fire

The fact that I can even think this

Shows how much your actions are dire

For I am proud to be my gay self

So I don’t want to see the flag ablazed

But sometimes it seems the only way

To show ostracizing a man over color pays

For I have tried diplomacy

Yet, you persist on ignoring me

Until you want my body for your cause

But once won, it’s “Be silent! Get lost!”

Accuse my color of homophobia

As to why your numbers fall short

But it is YOU who is sick with a phobia

Exiling my intellect from your court

Over your fear that my shade of skin

Can be found smart, sexy and beautiful

If you tried embracing it in those ways

You’ll find your fight’s progression much more fruitful

And don’t play one of us as a token

A facade to say you have respect

Since us non-whites are equally great

Give us more than a little speck

Face how you’re called out on your hypocrisy

Face how your life is a blight on our community

Face how compared to our oppressors

You are actually worse, and far from better

Face how much you need me

Not just as a number, but as a face of beauty

Face how much you stand to lose

If you never get the clues

So I ask you,

Is that a faux rainbow

Waving in the wind?

For I see mostly the lightest colors

Are ever allowed in

To become crowned “Most Beautiful”,

“ …Congenial”, and “…Likely To Succeed”

Leaving the darker colors to appear

That their being heard is of no need

So take in all I have said

And ask your deepest within

Is that a faux rainbow

Waving in the wind?


©2011 LeNair Xavier

When Beyoncé Is Talking To You

I admit that I'm not a big Beyoncé fan. Well, not to the point that I am for Janet Jackson, or still am for Michael even though he's now another music legend that has passed on, but she's getting there. It's because I'm at a point of mature thinking where the artists who get my fan-loyalty are legends and legends-in-the-making - not record company-manufactured flashes in the pan.

The reason I've been so silent about my being a fan of Beyoncé among others is because as a male member of the LGBT community, I need to practice my individuality, because most gay males do not on so many things from the ethnicity of guys they like to the music that they are a fan of. Case in point, why are so many gay males in bar and clubs getting excited over Beyoncé's "Run The World (Girls)"? Good dance beat, but what I've seen are most gays acting as if Beyoncé is talking to them It's a song meant to empower WOMEN, therefore unless gay males' dick and 2 balls have suddenly evaporated and been replaced with a vagina, they need to sit down and shut the fuck up, and stop chanting like it's their anthem. Because this is a time when Beyoncé is not talking to you.

Now in the case of songs like "Irreplaceable", or her latest YouTube audio upload making the rounds, "Best Thing I Never Had", Beyoncé just might be speaking to you. I know these songs speak to me. For most guys I've parted ways with as lovers and/or friends have been dumb enough to think that they're "irreplaceable". And the song "Best Thing I Never Had" makes me look back on all of those guys. All of those guys who were:

such massive fuck-ups that they got written about in blog posts;
such a repeat performance of past massive fuck-ups that I haven't bothered writing about them;
so empty and stupid to not view sex as the connection of souls as I do;
so cowardly to use sex with others as an escapism tool, instead of manning-up and dealing with your pain alone;
so superficial that they allowed my honest, but non-extravagant living not be good enough for them;
or so empty inside that they took my kindness for granted, be our involvement as friends, lovers, or even friends with benefits.

People wonder why I've never had a relationship beyond a month. It's because my heart is open enough to allow these guys to get some degree in the door of my life. However, when they "showed their ass", I was able to "dodge a bullet" by foreseeing a future with them bringing me to their level of having the fucked-up point of view that would make my life as sad as theirs. And since "what goes around comes back around", if they haven't already, they will get to the point of regretting letting the great soul that is mine get away.

And since this great soul of mine is not only intact, but has flourished since their dismissal, they are the best thing I never had.

LeNair Xavier - Leslie/Lohman Bartender

Yes, you read correct.

This Friday, if you come to the Back to the Basement Art Sale's opening reception at the Leslie/Lohman Basement Annex, you'll see me there as your bartender.

I was honored to be asked. Even more so when I saw the list of artists whose works will be on display and for sale. Because as it turns out, I have modeled for 3 of the 15 artists: Rob Clarke, Anthony Gonzales, and Chuck Nitzberg.

As I have mentioned before, Anthony Gonzales drew some sketches of me at the 2006 Erotic Art Fair, and was kind enough to let me have one of them. And Rob Clarke and Chuck Nitzberg were both in attendance when I was modeling at the Leslie/Lohman Erotic Drawing Studio recently.

Now, I've been given the OK to at least be shirtless for your viewing pleasure, so given the exhibitionist that I am, you can guarantee on seeing some live skin. Skin that you won't find in any of the pictures, but can still counter America's repression towards nudity. Looking forward to seeing you there.

Back to the Basement Art Sale

Leslie/Lohman Basement Annex
127-B Prince Street

New York, NY

Opening Reception
June 10: 6-9 PM

Art Fair and Sale
June 11 & 12: 12 - 6PM

Come See Me @ HOWL! Festival

On Saturday June 4th and Sunday June 5th, ALL poets are invited to participate in Open Air Poetry Circle Readings at the HOWL! Festival!

While there will be poetry circles throughout Tompkins Square Park between 12 - 5 PM on June 4th and 5th with all poets allowed 5 minutes, I have made a reservation to read my poems on Sunday, June 5th between 3 - 4 PM.


In my alloted 5 minutes, unlike how I did at the Rainbow Book Fair this past March where I read 1 poem, I intend to read 2 poems. Both of which are based on true events and observations.

The first is a romantic poem entitled "Seeing Me Before I". It is based on someone I met back in the mid 90's who looking back I now realize was making advances towards me. But if you recall, I didn't come to terms with my orientation until 2002. So this poem is basically me reflecting and wondering how my life would have been different had I accepted his advances. And if I did accept his advances, would it have made for a better or worse today. While the scenario in the poem is about a missed opportunity for a relationship, I'm sure the main idea can be applied to other facets of life, such as job offers you turned down, or being fired. 

The other poem is entitled "Faux Rainbow". It is the next part of my CHALLENGER series. This poem challenges the gay media and community as a whole in its displays of racism with as light-complexions being the ONLY faces of intellect and beauty. And yes I am blowing my own horn by saying I will be delivering such a hard-hitting truth that so many gays of color feel that it will be more than a little obvious that those of us with darker-complexions are just as smart (thereby beautiful), if not more so. Hence the reason why, I would like the support of all of my NYC-based fans to come out to the HOWL! Festival, but make sure you find the poetry circle I am a part of on Sunday between 3 - 4 PM.

So if you just happen to be in the East Village that day, feel free to stop by and hear for yourself. :-)

For more information about what the HOWL! Festival go to HOWLFestival.com.