I've made Facebook & Twitter updates about "Our America with Lisa Ling: Pray the Gay Away?", with few people giving commentary. Do you think that's since people avoided watching it out of fear of hearing a truth about themselves OR to avoid getting angry?

I've made Facebook & Twitter updates about "Our America with Lisa Ling: Pray the Gay Away?", with few people giving commentary. Do you think that's since people avoided watching it out of fear of hearing a truth about themselves OR to avoid getting angry?

Answer here

Write That Down #31

Recently, this latest "Write That Down" quote has been going through my mind quite a bit. But the final straw to push me to say it now was when I saw a scene featuring a subject from my past posts, Ty (or "Tyron" as he is listed in the movie I saw) from "Sweet Reunions Over Milk Chocolate, Pt. 2". After reading that post, knowing that I had retired from the industry, Ty still asked if I would do a scene with him. While I told Ty that I would come out of retirement to do the scene, and Ty said he told the studio, the studio never contacted me.

The reason I was willing to come out of retirement to do the scene was to undo most of the things that I spoke of in my poetry series, "The Industry". Mainly the lack of undeniable attractions in so much of today's studio-based porn. And our attraction was so real that many can see it by us looking into each other's eyes in a simple still photograph.

With our many times of having sex being born of that undeniable attraction, it goes without saying that if I see him in a scene with someone else, I know what to look for in his eyes that can tell me if his attraction is real. And in the scene that I saw, the glimmer that was in his eyes with me...was nowhere to be seen. I find this troublesome because if I see someone that I've had sex with in a scene, I would like to masturbate to the memories of that glimmer and passion when we were together. And with that glimmer in his eyes missing, I felt like I was watching what I never, ever wanted to see of him---Ty on an escorting job.

I have said it numerous times... I even said it during my poetry reading in January that the only parts in porn that are supposed to be acted (if any) are the scenario and the greatness of the sex. The attractions are NOT supposed to be acted. That's what escorts have to do, and it's an ugliness that should not be seen. However, porn directors insist on doing it anyway. Hence why studio-based porn is polluted with escorts and not the exhibitionist that porn-buying consumer would hope for. Therefore, not worth your money.

When it comes to what I call "free downloads", while porn studios call them "illegal" or "pirated" downloads, maybe it's my Aries stubbornness, but it is a case of "you say 'tomāto', I say 'tomătoe'". I have sometimes seem movies that I've been in on these sites. So why have I not alerted the studio heads I've worked for? It's because what porn studios call "art", I don't respect it as such. For it's becoming that practically all studios are run by ego-maniacs more concerned with whether or not you can get a hard-on "on their command" rather than whether or not your hard-on is actually inspired by the person you're supposed to do a scene with. In short, you're treated like a dog living to please his owner, instead of a human being displaying his pleasure. And only porn actors in denial would dare to disagree with me. A perfect example is from thinking back to when I did the movie, "The Interview". I recall one of the reasons Tyson Cane liked Favian Gotti was because according to Tyson cane, Favian could get hard on Tyson Cane's command.

I'm different. For similar to what I said earlier, I am a human being, not a dog living to please his owner. Hence mine and Tyson Cane eventual butting of the heads.

Now, when porn studios decide to actually do the work of hiring exhibitionists rather than escorts, thereby making movies based on authentic attractions, I will urge you to pay your hard-earned money for that product. But until I see evidence of that...FREE DOWNLOADS ALL THE WAY!

And to all those in the industry who want to say to me how pirating is wrong, I reply to you with this:
It's WRONG to create a product that caters to racism.
It's WRONG to create a product that purposely and repeatedly displays the worst image of an ethnicity.
And it's WRONG to create a product like porn, and ignore the request of pairing your models with whom they know they have great chemistry with.

I am well aware that 2 wrongs don't make a right. And I've tried my best to get this corrected by addressing those and other matters on this blog over time. However, all I have seen are these much needed changes move way slower than molasses...


...So I have been pushed to advocate doing this 1 wrong to combat those and many more wrongs done by YOU.

It is for this reason practically all studio-based porn is no longer "art" in my eyes. And I'm starting to wonder if it ever was, even when I was a part of it.

If studio-based porn was never "art", my misconception that it was comes from the fact that I view sex itself to be "art". An art that is born from genuine attractions, and based on what I said in the previous paragraphs, few studios (if any) pride themselves on that genuine attraction. Hence how porn has lost being a legitimate art form.

With all this in mind, my latest "Write That Down" quote reads:

I was never really a "porn actor". Due to the so-called "standards" of today's porn, that would be lowering myself. But I have always proudly been and continue to proudly be an exhibitionist.

Now, while this all may seem like I holding a massive grudge against the porn industry. The truth is quite the contrary. In fact, I'm quite thankful for the experience of being "Tré Xavier", because had it not been for those experiences, I would not have all the knowledge I have now, I would not be as thick-skinned against stupidity as I am now, nor would I be getting the opportunities to advance myself. So this is not me expressing a grudge, but venting an annoyance over mishandling. For I am a natural-born fighter for things to be done correctly, and the mishandling of the porn industry gave me the opportunity to better my skills as that fighter.

So THANK YOU.

4 Weeks Until 40

Yes, you have read correct.

I am proud to say that 4 weeks from today, this year I am turning "The Big 4-0". That's right I said it, I am turning 40 years old.

While the stupidity of the stereotypical gay male dreads it, me being at the other end of the intellect spectrum embraces it.

Why?

Because I'm quite blessed to not have a body warn down by drugs and alcohol, then needing Botox injections and/or a gym membership to mask my fucked-up decisions. I'm blessed to have made it through 15+ years of contemplating suicide while I struggled with my orientation. After that accomplishment, I'm blessed to have a small number of actual friends that I can be real with, instead of an overload of associates that I'm always living to impress so that they won't opt out of taking the place of real friends. I'm blessed with a family that may not have always agreed with me, but has still supported me through it all, and continue to do so. And I am blessed to have all of these experiences that have me in the process of finally finding my voice.

Now, as to how will I celebrate this great day, besides going to see "Priscilla: Queen Of The Desert" on Broadway, I have no idea. So that day is looking like the rest of my life. A journey of gaining knowledge, and experiencing things that I never believed I would experience, OR knew that they were there to experience.

All I have to say now is....BRING IT ON!!!!

Signs of 2011 D.P. Fruition?

I have been blogging about wanting to be double-penetrated by 2 hot tops for the longest. In fact, that's what started the creation of my "Double-Penetration" category. As for whether or not it has ever come to fruition...I've come close, but still no 2 cigars.

I can report however that before the end of 2010, I've had 2 encounters at Milk Chocolate NYC parties that make me get the feeling that my double-penetration fantasy may soon become a reality.

The 1st such party had this muscular Latino that every bottom at the party seemed to want a piece of. He was also good-looking. But since I practice what I preach therefore was finding my own fun, I was so into my own fun that I was never able to discover what else besides his looks and physique made him such a massive draw. Well, as they say, "Patience is a virtue". And my patience paid off eventually.

Me and one of the volunteers at the party were talking. Then the Latino came over after topping another conquest. We started flirting a bit, and talking about all the action he was getting. His cock was out, and I copped a feel. My reaction, you ask?...

...I thought to myself, "OH MY GOD!!!!" Maybe it was the shock, but it seemed as if his 1 dick was about as thick as 2 of mine. Now the mystery was solved as to why all those bottoms wanted him in  their ass. Those bottoms were size-queen bottoms. But they got exactly what they deserved for being size-queens.

For when I touched his cock and saw how massively thick it was, I started getting memory flashes. Those kind of memory flashes that show you things that you didn't realize that you were committing to memory, but your sub-conscience knew would be relevant later on. Such as how during some of the many guys the Latino fucked, the bottom got to the point where they couldn't take it anymore, or couldn't take it at all. I was so busy doing my own thing, that I didn't make it an important thing to consciously take note of. But evidently, my sub-conscience took note of it because it foresaw an upcoming moment.

The volunteer saw the Latino's huge cock as well. We both looked at each other in amazement. When the Latino left to go wash off from that conquest, me and the volunteer talked about how that cock made us nervous to take it on. Then as the volunteer went back to his volunteering duties, the Latino came over to me, and put the moves on me. And it was like an out-of-body experience, with me watching myself in utter shock...when I heard myself agree to go to the bed with him.

So now, while I was wondering am I going to be the next bottom saying, "No more, please!", something in me said that I wouldn't.

The Latino put on a condom while I put A LOT of lube on my asshole. Then I put lube on his dressed-up cock so I could feel that monster once more before preparing my mind and body for taking it in. That is, if I could take it in.

With me assuming the position for doggy-style, the Latino went for it. And while the 1st try didn't make it, to my surprise, the 2nd one did. Once inside me, he fucked me, and fucked me hard. The muscles in his crotch were banging up against my ass so hard, I knew that if not by my sphincter, my ass cheeks were going to surely be feeling this fuck-session by morning and the next few days after. Well, it was obviously good to him, for he then wanted me on my back to fuck me missionary. And I took full advantage of the view and feel of those muscles wet with sweat from his vigorous pounding, and playing with his nipples that were erect like his throbbing cock inside me.

And that throbbing is why we stopped. For we stopped not because I couldn't take him fucking my ass anymore. Quite the contrary. It was because he couldn't take my ass fucking his dick anymore, and he didn't want to come just yet. And it was a shame to end it when it did, because unlike most of those size-queen bottoms, I was ready to go the distance. Also, the Latino was actually the rare breed of being a big dicked man who knows how to fuck. And  I can give a fair critique on this because I'm not a size-queen whose rectum is so stretched out that only a long and/or thick cock can reach the nerve endings that let one feel like they're getting a good fuck.

The 2nd party was about a week or two later. It was at the party that I mentioned in a previous post telling how Ty and myself let out our sexual tensions from our photoshoot together. Before the last of the 4 times we fucked, Ty asked me if I've ever been double-penetrated. We were going to give it a try with this Black guy that was there, but the Black guy at the time didn't get hard enough to get in my tight hole. The Black guy did eventually get his needed boner to get into me. Ty fucked another volunteer because he was so turned on by it. And me and the Black guy went at it so long that after we were done, I came out to find the host, Cade and all the volunteers standing around. That's when Cade broke the news to me saying, "We're all waiting for you."

So it turns out that me and the Black guy shut the party down.

With that 1st tryst putting my hole to the test, then the suggestion of a double-penetration so soon after that tryst, all coming so close to the end of 2010, I'm taking those as signs that this year, 2011 will be the year that a double-penetration will finally come to fruition for me.

What I need now are 2 hot guys willing to rub their 2 hot throbbing sticks together, and start a pleasing fire in my hole.

And while it's not a requirement, it would be nice if I could record it for all to see. Because porn studios make it seem as if getting your ass double-penetrated is a White guy thing. However, by my blog post on the matter, you know that some sweet Black asses want to be double-stuffed as well. So wouldn't you like some video as further proof?

Just putting the idea out there. After all, this year I do turn "The Big 4-0".

;-)