I'm Not A Racist, ...But My Boyfriend Is

Ever have an attraction to someone of a different color/ethnicity, that either leads to or has the potential to lead to a tryst, maybe even a relationship. Then later on down the line, whether the tryst happens or not, you see that person in a new relationship. One that allows 3-ways. So you see them at a sex party, backroom, or cruising bar, and of the many prospective playmates you see them talk up...

NONE  OF THEM share your ethnicity and/or your shade or darker.

If you are a person of color who has been part of interracial trysts, relationships, and 3-ways, especially if you're medium to dark complexioned, then this is probably not a new scenario to you at all.

The reason I must say medium to dark complexioned because when it comes to color, we are still painted as the "undesirables" in society, and the gay community. A recent incident regarding racist remarks from a former manager at Manhattan Monster in NYC makes that very evident. And those racist remarks were made by a light-complexioned Latino. What's even worse is that such an incident enabling this ignorance of racism and colorism is not unique to just Manhattan Monster. It's practically in every gay bar in New York, and other major cities. It's just that Manhattan Monster finally had people brave enough to put those actions on blast.

I bring up this incident because along with gay media, gay porn and gay nightlife are both teachers to the newly out, and a reaffirming source to gays as to who should be considered "ideal" based on their body build, ethnicity, color, and light and darkness of that color. So now you know a likely source of the racism displayed by your adored's significant other that has prevented you from ever experiencing each other.

Another reason to bring up that incident is because this racism and colorism is not practiced only by whites. It is also practice by Asians, light-complexioned Latinos, and Middle Easterners of all colors.

Case in point, one night at The Cock, a light-skinned Latino was eyeing me for quite awhile. A Black guy approached him to dance, and the Latino quickly obliged. The second that happened, his dark-complexioned Middle Eastern boyfriend intervined to break up that dance. Not too long after, a light-complexioned friend of mine that I was chatting with started talking to the Latino just as he was making his way to me. So I was standing right there. The Latino's Middle Eastern boyfriend saw this. And in his rabid insecurity ran over to pleasantly talk to my friend, including exchanging introductions. All the while, totally acting as if I was not even in the space. That is until I startled the Middle

The person you once had adoration for should ask themselves some questions. Questions like:

• Why am I with such a person?
• Am I really that desperate to say I'm in a relationship. So desperate that I'd settle to lay each night with a living and breathing cesspool of narrow-mindedness about who is beautiful and sexy?
• Have I lost that much self-respect? Or if this is not my 1st such relationship, did I ever have that self-respect?

Well, they are already a fool for taking up with such a person. However, if you don't lose that adoration for them, then you're a greater fool than they are. Pity is a way more valid emotion to feel for them. For the ignorance that they have committed themselves to has without a doubt lessened their beauty inside and out. And it's a beauty that shouldn't be resurrected in your eyes until they wise up.