"Fuck, I'm Sexy": Blacks ARE Good Enough, Part 2

Gay nightlife promoter Daniel Nardicio recently posted this status update on Facebook:

I know that it was not what Daniel had in mind, but this status made me think about how saying to oneself "Fuck, I'm sexy" is something every non-White, especially those of medium to dark complexion must tell themselves everyday. And it's not out of stereotypical gay narcissism. Instead, it is because the racism plaguing our community and society will make those of us with medium and dark complexions feel worthless if I we allow the sexual racism that's fueled by gay media, porn, and nightlife to get to us.

I have been combating the racism in the gay community for quite awhile. But it has not only been by way of this blog like some would think. I have also combated this racism by entering bar contests, and applying for go-go dancing gigs at places that I knew wouldn't entertain the idea of a 5' 6" fit (not gymrat) Black male. Fully aware that in spite of my better skills as a dancer (to the White/light guy they hire being a citizen of Rhythm-less Nation) and my interaction with the crowd, that the sexual racism of the crowd and ignorant promoters catering to it that I had a snowball's chance in hell of winning the contest, or getting the go-go gig. And if I got the gig, my professionalism wouldn't be asked back as often as a White boy's unprofessional haughtiness and self-indulgence while he's still on the clock.

Combating this sexual racism is also why I applied to be a model for Next Door Magazine in 2011. Every time I saw this magazine prior, it was full of White guys with so few Black guys, you could count them on one hand, and still have fingers left over. So imagine my surprise when interest in me, after approaching them at The Rainbow Book Fair that year led  to an actual photoshoot. Also, how issues since my layout in the magazine, there have been other Black models. Even one making the cover. That says to me that the response to my layout was positive enough that (at least for awhile) it inspired them to rethink their color scheme of models, and bring in more variety. Therefore, my actions were not for naught.

The racism in the gay community tells Whites that they're sexy even if they're not competent at what the sexy job entails, or they're built like malnourished walking sticks. Meanwhile, the racism in the community too often refuses to tell non-Whites that at all. The only non-Whites the Whites running gay entertainment give a pass to is a light-complexioned Latino, and maybe an Asian here and there. But that's all a tactic to avoid being called out for the racists that they are.

This racism tells us that we have to actually work to be recognized for our sexual and intellectual prowess, which while unfair, does in the long run gives us a better work ethic. This racism also tells us that we're only worth being made a fetish of. Not to be respected and taken seriously as sexually desirable entities for our looks and intellect. In fact, I have been looking in a mirror telling myself that I'm sexy ever since I applied for go-go dancing gigs that I knew venues were going to make some excuse to turn me down. And thinking back on that, the 2 main venues I put in for are no more - them being The Roxy and Urge Lounge. So good fuckin' riddance!

I have also had to tell myself "I'm sexy" every time I sat in front of my computer to apply for a porn studio. Knowing full well that whitewashed porn companies like Falcon, Raging Stallion, Hot House, Titan Media, Corbin Fisher, Sean Cody, Lucas Entertainment, etc. were going to give some excuse to insult my higher intellect, or give no reply at all. Which leaves me with the only choices being modern-day slavery porn studios also owned by Whites like Big City Video, FlavorWorks, Pitbull Productions, Real Urban Men, or Black-owned Chocolate Cream (B.C.) Productions - all of whom show Black males to not be sexual men, but gorilla niggers instead. So you know I'm enjoying the karma of how fucktard-run studios like Falcon, Raging Stallion, and Hot House, once individual powerhouse gay porn companies, are now getting their comeuppance by having to band together to save face and stay afloat. And ALL of the aforementioned companies and others are allowing their stuff to be downloaded on sites like FilesMonster.

This is why Karma is a bitch that I love, love, love, LOVE.

There are 3 types of people reading this blog post:
1) Those who don't go out, don't read gay media, and don't watch porn heavily because they know the ugliness I'm speaking of here to be true;
2) Those who actually do partake of gay media, porn, and/or nightlife, but do it in silence; and
3) Those who run sites and/or events that fuel the racism I speak of. So they're reading this is to see just how much on to them I really am.

And with #3, while they try being discreet, you can always tell when my telling the ugly truth of their ugly behavior has hurt them. For that's when the free entry into events stop. As well as the free drink tickets. Along with rigged contests. You see, they don't think I see this. But the fact is that while I was born at night, for their plan to go undiscovered, they're wishing I was born last night.

The racism fueled by White-dominated gay media, porn, and nightlife has done a lot of damage to the sexual image of Black males especially. And in the process the (way too many) weak-minded among us Blacks won't speak or act publicly in a way to combat this. For those racist White-owned entertainment outlets have made the weak minded of us Blacks feel guilty of having "Angry Black Man Syndrome". Yet truth be told, we have every fuckin' right to be angry! For it's misrepresentation of us as a whole.

Hence the reason I need to say all this. For while presently, my looks, lifestyle, and relationship status allows me to take the stand by entering these contests to show the variety in Black males as a sexual and intellectual power in the gay community, I know at some point, that will no longer be the case. One or more of the aforementioned factors allowing me to participate will at some point change to stop me. And since I seem to find myself always the only Black body and voice, that means no Black male is on the verge of taking my place as that body & voice by doing the action of participating. Which means Black gay males fearing Whites laying on the guilt will silence Blacks again. Thereby making all the progress I have made in getting our variety recognized as a power in a short time be back to square one. Then who will we have to blame for the dismissal of the variety of Blacks having just as much prowess as that of Whites? OURSELVES.

The problem is that based on the present display by Blacks, if and when that backwards slide happens, Blacks will never admit to it. For that damage by Whites to our image won't be undone by the present buying of their racist magazines and porn videos. It won't be undone by giving another Facebook "like" to another White model from their White saturated website. It won't be undone going to their parties catering to racism in multi-ethnic areas to tip their White/light go-go boys, AND never calling the racism out. It won't be done sitting in the audience cheering for a contestant when all of the contestants are White/light. Nor will it be done by hosting a contest where all of the contestants are White/light. For if you look at the history of beauty contests, the reason that host was chosen was because he/she has qualities that the producer feels makes that Black person unfit to be considered a contestants.So in a gay bar contest, if that Black guy is of a body type like the White/light contestants allowed to enter, then it's safe to say that the disqualifying factor by that party promoter was color.

In short, the fact that we Blacks are just as sexually desirable (by looks or intelligence) as Whites is not going to be put in the heads of those duped by gay media unless we demand a shot at the spotlight of being seen and/or heard. That is what I do and have done with every contest I've entered, every stint as a go-go boy at a mostly White bar or party, every porn studio I applied for who has rejected me with a bullshit excuse, and every website and blog I've submitted posts to, then called out later for their racism...So more Blacks need to step it up as a way to say,...

"Regardless as to whether you choose me or not, my Black skin is here in your bar, on your stage, in your contest, sending you an email, filling out your application, etc. to let you know that I know that I am sexy, smart, and therefore good enough to be here."