Sunday, October 17, 2021

No Pull-Outs, No Push-Outs

Funny how this poem all started because after writing the article for Thotyssey about how guys pulling out when they ejaculate takes away from the sex, I couldn't get the thought out of my head of trying to write a poem to make pulling out less appealing. In the process of writing it, coming across a bunch of videos showing push-outs also made me need to address that in the poem as well.

I wanted to be stern about my position on both, yet continue my poetry mission of making dirty talk free of shame, and sexier as it aided in one being honest about their feelings on pulling out and pushing out.

In the poem, I believe I said all I needed to say about why pulling out is counter productive. However, when it comes to the pushing out of cum, you might have noticed that I did not say too much for my position on pushing out. In fact, I probably more so extended my argument against pulling out. Hindsight being 20/20, I realize that being detailed and honest about my feelings on that would have likely lessened the immediate post-reading sex session I want to inspire with the poem.

Such as how when a guy shoots his load into your ass, then it comes out naturally over time with no real effort from you, cum in the butt then is a beautiful anal sex by-product. However, a conscious and forceful push-out of cum makes cum an anal excrement to me. Thereby making a push-out just a step below scat, which I am not a fan of at all. 

There was no way to make that sexy.

For I want this poem to inspire a fuck session in which right after reading, a couple fucks. As the top pounds away at his bottom or the bottom rides the top, they emphatically agree that the top is going to shoot his raw load in the bottom's ass, and the bottom is going to let time (not his mind) be what tells his body to le the load go.

With that said, I hope this poem has either done so for you already, or it will in due time.

Friday, October 15, 2021

Pleasure Product Review: Pulse Solo Interactive

It appears Kiiroo has made another great joint venture with their interactive technology by pairing with Hot Octopuss to give us the male interactive toy, Pulse Solo Interactive.

The Pulse by Hot Octopuss has been around for a few years now. I have never owned one, so Kiiroo sending me this new product popped my Pulse cherry. Not my Hot Octopuss cherry because if you've followed me long enough, I did a Nude Dude Review featuring Hot Octopuss' Atom/Plus and made a video with their Amo. With that said, I know Hot Octopuss makes good products. I just never experienced their PulsePlate™ feature for the penis before.

Let's start with just the PulsePlate™. That was awesome. I greatly enjoyed going through the 6 vibration patterns. Sometimes stroking so the PulsePlate™ vibrates along the shaft as well as the frenulum (under-head of the penis). Others times I held it still to let it solely hit the frenulum, which could at times bring me near climax like the classic Magic Wand can against that area. Yes, the vibration hits that strongly. And the reason that plate hits just as great as a Magic Wand (which is much larger) is because the plate is just the right size to let the Pulse Solo Interactive actually cup the frenulum. Much like one's tongue does the penis when giving great oral sex. It's the same trick, but with electronically-created vibration.

The interactive part of the Pulse Solo Interactive is what I couldn't wait to see. For I've experienced the interactive stroking from Kiiroo toys and vibration from the Titan. But I was not prepared for how such videos connected via the FeelConnect app would relate to the pulsing of the Pulse Solo Interactive.


The videos on my list at that worked with the Pulse Solo Interactive had vibration that pulled me in so much that I almost orgasmed before getting to the end of a scene. In fact, there's only 1 movie so far that I have sat through, and there is video evidence of that test. 

I used it in all ways promoted in the press release. Again, not stroking with it, but also holding it in place, and not moving. Just letting the PulsePlate™'s taps on my frenulum be in sync with the video and letting that get me to orgasm. It had such moments of intensity that I had times in which I had to pull out of the Pulse Solo Interactive because I wanted to be orgasm with end of the scene.

I also saw it interact with my strokers Kiiroo's Onyx+ and Titan. Stroking the sensors on these 2 toys reacted well with the Pulse Solo Interactive. With that being the case, I think it's safe to conclude that it would do the same with the sensors in other Kiiroo-powered toys like the Pearl.

The Pulse Interactive is waterproof. So your Guybrator fun can also be had in the shower.

It comes with a USB charging cord and can be charged via any USB port. Once plugged in, it takes about 3 hours to fully charge and works for about 1 hour after.

The body-touching part of it are made of silicone, while the rest is made of ABS plastic. Since silicone is non-porous and won't hold bacteria, you can easily clean it with any body-safe soap or toy cleaner with no worries after.

Its compact size and accompanying pouch makes it easy to travel with. So while on the road, you can enjoy either its 6 vibration patterns, or (via the FeelConnect app) interact with 2D and VR videos and/or a partner with a matching toy.

All of these features work so well that I highly recommend Hot Octopuss' Pulse Interactive powered by Kiiroo.

Thursday, September 30, 2021

His Hand Was About To Get These Hands


As always for me, my addressing an issue at length stems from one incident being the straw that broke the camel's back after many. So the following story is from such a moment since it led to my TikTok video about unwanted touch. And the further this story goes into details, you'll see why it was the straw that broke the camel's back.

I was out at the NYC gay bar, The Cock. You are allowed to strip down to your underwear on any given night, so the nudist & exhibitionist in me often takes advantage of that option. I was in the basement, and just standing there minding my business. An old white male that I have seen often, and had to swat off me often walked in my direction looking straight ahead of him. However, as he walked pass me, he grabbed my crotch. No eye contact from him beforehand to request an invitation to my body whatsoever.

Because of that lack of an invitation when he had the opportunity to request one, I immediately swatted his hand away. In response, instead of being apologetic, he in turn raised his finger to me and said, "Don't do that!"

So many words flooded my mind, but that raised finger; raised to lecture me like I was a misbehaved child stood so far out in my mind that the only words that initially came out were, "Who the fuck are you talking to??? THIS is my body! And I will do 'that'! Because I don't fuckin' want you!"

He replied, "No you won't!"

I said, "Excuse me. Try touching me again."

He said, "I will...gently."

"Try it! So I can put you the fuck out of your misery you Jabba The Hutt-lookin' mutha fucka!"

Yes, the Bed-Stuy ghetto boy came out in the Lower East Side that night.

As my voice was elevating with each syllable, I realized that one of the go-go boys and a patron tried to pull me away. Yes, you read correct. Pull me away. For it was at that point that I realized that I was actually walking towards the guy while yelling at him. Because his response of entitlement made me get more in position to see if he would actually take me up on my dare for him to touch me. A touch that would have resulted in a justified physical retaliation by me.

While I was glad for the go-go boy and patron's attempt to de-escalate the situation, I also felt there was some other reason for them intervening besides the common avoidance of a fight occurring in a bar. Then my inner-voice laid it out for me.

My conscience said, "LeNair, stand down! Think about the optics!."

My Aries rage made my response to my conscious be, "Fuck the optics! He deserves his ass whipped!...But then again, you are me. Therefore, you're smart. So maybe there's something I'm not seeing right now. But whatever it is, explain it fuckin' fast! Because this guy deserves an ass-whippin' for sho'!"

My conscience replied, "Okay. That guy looks like he's near or is collecting Social Security. And yes, you are 50. So yes, you are in the age range to justifiably beat his ass. However, as you have been told from talks with many guys in many places, don't look 50. To them you look late 20s - mid 30s at the oldest. So to mostly everyone within view of this confrontation, you beating on that man would look like a young punk beating up a senior citizen. And you being black and him being white makes the optics even worse. So again! LeNair, STAND! DOWN!"

To this explanation, my conscience proved to be intelligent as I figured. So I followed that voice.

There are a number of reasons this guy felt entitled to touch me and not take well to being called out on it. It could be a sense of white entitlement. It could also be the rape culture that is enabled by so many facets of the gay male community. It could also be his ethnicity-based male pride completely absent of a racist motivation, but instead an egotistical one. For I have had a number of confrontations with guys of different ethnicities that you know their aggression of that word "No!" is based in their ethnic culture of origin's idea that the male aggressor is to be submitted to by their target with no questions asked. Or it can be some combination of one or more or all of the above.

Whatever the case, it needs to stop. And it won't stop until we address it. I have said repeatedly in blog and social media posts that turning the other cheek and acting like such behavior "just comes with the territory" is why many who want to be a part of the events in such a space, and can act civilly decide to instead stay away from it.

What also is not a help is mocking me for addressing such intrusion into my personal space. From the moment I saw myself mocked by a bar patron for speaking up about unwanted touch via social media I knew that such an attitude has led to many, many, many. many unreported sexual assaults and rapes in the gay male community.

And for the record, all of the negative behaviors spoken of in this article are not unique only to The Cock. They can be found in many a gay bar and club across the globe. And that is the reason I am addressing this. We need to right this wrong. And gay media heads need to stop waiting for a cute white face that they owe a favor for a fuck to in order to address it. For their boy-toys are the kinds that give my sexual assailant the idea that he can get away with his behavior.

I want the new gays who come out to look at our community and be proud to be a part of it. The allowance, cowardice, and enabling of such behaviors makes us nothing to be proud of. In fact, they are a prime example of what prompted this Facebook post:

Let that sink in. Is this the kind of community we want to be? I know I don't. How about you? 

Sunday, September 12, 2021

Pleasure Product Review: Arcwave Ion

Ever since the sex toy Womanizer caused a craving of suction toys for the clitoris, the burning question from males and those buying for males became, "Is there something like this for men?"

Before the answer was no. But now, with the Arcwave Ion, the answer is yes.

The PleasureAir technology that made the Womanizer so famous is now in a toy marketed for males. And while I often say that the sex toy industry can sometimes be too gender-specific for their own good, with the design of the Ion, they did not go wrong.

I have actually played with a Womanizer. Running it along the frenulum, and although it took awhile, did achieve an orgasm. However, I always knew that if they ever made a male version that some things needed to be different. I just didn't know what. Luckily, the designers of the Ion figured out what.

For starters, I have often said that with sex toys for penile stimulation, a male-bodied person usually wants their penis enclosed. More so along the shaft. And that is exactly how the Ion is designed. With a stretchy silicone covering for the shaft that accommodates various penile widths. The ridges that run along that covering as well as near the Pleasure Air orifice add greatly to the sensation.

The opening at the end allows the head of the penis(glans) to peek out and experience the 8 intensity levels of Pleasure Air technology by way of a slightly larger mechanism than a Womanizer. Confirming how (even before discovering the diagram below) I have always said that the glans of a penis is just a large clitoris and vice versa. I have made many sex shop customers rethink their gendering of sex toys by telling that fact.

At first look, you would be concerned about how to clean an Ion. Well, 2 things make that very easy:
1) it is waterproof. So you can put it under the sink with no worry to clean it, and;
2) a simple twist makes the top part for the shaft detach from the rest of the toy. Allowing an easy clean of both the part for the shaft, and the Pleasure Air mechanism with either a toy cleaner or body-safe soap.

The Arcwave Ion comes with a storage base/charging port that makes it easy for discreet travel, as well as discreet display within the home. Unless they have one themselves, guests are more likely to assume it to be nothing more than a Bluetooth speaker, electric pencil sharpener, or small air purifier. And as far as charging goes, you are looking at about almost 1.5 hours of charging time that gives about that much playing time at minimum intensity, and about 1 hour at maximum intensity.

As with almost all sex toys, water-based lube is the way to go. I will advise to try not overdoing it on the lube. For the top button that looks like a speaker with an X next to it on the Ion controls a feature much like the Womanizer Premium that allows the toy to respond to contact with the body. In my experience, if too much lube is in the Pleasure Air mechanism, then that features ceases to work. Leaving you to either stop and lessen the lube in that area, or turn that feature off completely.

With all that said, I very much enjoy the Arcwave Ion. With many of my stroker toys, I often use them enough to review them, then push them aside, and go to my old reliable hand when the mood strikes However, the Ion has been bought out a good number of times since using it for this review. It is one of those male sex toys I believe we male-bodied people wanted, but didn't know it until it was presented to us.

So for that, THANKS, ARCWAVE! 😊

Friday, September 3, 2021

If You Know Your Beauty So Much, Why Are Your Actions So Ugly?

Recently I was at the New York City gay bar, The Cock. As usual there, I took advantage of their allowance to strip down to my underwear. Immediately after stripping down to the top and bottom pictured, I went to the bar to order a drink.

While waiting, it was not even 20 minutes into being stripped down before I felt a smack across my butt. The only suspect was a black male with brown dreadlocks walking pass. Obviously, a socially inept creature thinking my being in my underwear made me a free-for-all. I didn't chase after him to call him on his ignorance. I figured if he was that stupid, he would do something else in due time. If not to me, then to someone else.

Anyway, after getting my drink, I went downstairs.

Not too long after, I came back upstairs to get away and continue my drink. I was leaning against the bar, and the black guy returned. This time, he came at me and immediately started touching me as he tried talking to me. I repeatedly kept moving his hand. He acted as if I was overreacting. As he proceeded trying to talk to me, he again began reaching to touch on me while he talked. I finally told him, "Talk with your mouth. Not with your hands."

Owning my body enough to say that pissed him off. So much so, he said the stupidest thing to me.
He said, "Look. I know my beauty---"

Once I heard those words, I immediately cut him off saying, "Excuse me! With your behavior right now, have no beauty!"

I then sashayed away to the restroom.

I cut him off so quickly because I knew exactly where his speech of him "knowing his beauty" was born from. It was born out of what he (like many Black males, including myself) have likely encountered from all too many racist white/light-skinned males.

White boys and assimilating light-skinned boys of color who treat black males like they're too ugly to be acknowledged in a cruising spot. By acts such as:
  • acting bothered by a medium to dark-complexioned Black male admiring their initial only skin-deep beauty;
  • trying to literally push those black males out of the way so they can get to another white/light-skinned guy they've targeted, and/or;
  • trying to steal away a white/light-skinned guy after he is already in the company of a black male.
So the problem is that as a Black man, a very aware Black man at that, I will always be the wrong audience for this guy's intended speech of him knowing his beauty.

He probably tried that speech on me because while those feelings were probably justifiably festering inside him, he was too much of a coward to say it to an actual white or light-skinned boy. Likely due to how in many such spaces, after doing some act of self-entitlement, white males will turn on their White Fragility "I'm afraid" cry to security at a venue. Fearing rightful retaliation from the Black male they slighted. Then unfairly, security will appease the white male's attitude of privilege by treating the Black person as the troublemaking party. Often without even hearing details of what led up to the conflict.

So in short, this black male's actions towards me were no better or different than any such white male. For in the end, he tried that speech on me because like those type of white/light guys, he saw me as less than. Namely, less of a threat if I get offended by his attack.

Well, this post is proof how I am actually more of a threat than those white males. For the reason such unwanted touch still goes on so frequently is because the same white/light guys this black male was afraid to ruffle the feathers of are the same ones who want to be identified as "strong adult males". Yet they sit in silence about unwanted touch. Even going as far as mocking me for talking publicly on social media about it.

Analyzing this guy's aggression in his approach to me sadly exposes why one seldom sees me play with a black male at racially diverse events.

It's because many (not all) of the black males I encounter at more racially diverse events assimilate what I call, "the gorilla nigger" aggression of the typical black porn actor in an interracial scene. They feel this is how to get the indoctrinated prize of a white/light guy as your sex partner. More specifically, as your white/light-skinned bottom. And this does work for some. However, it usually ends up that the black top is treated as a disposable entity. Very much like the black tops are treated in porn.

And speaking of porn, the ignorance in following that is because your typical gay porn actor is a prostitute. I know we are in this age of not shaming sex workers, but this aspect here deserves it. For that prostitution mindset allows these white/light-skinned porn actors to have sex with a black with money, and not genuine attraction as the sole motivation. This includes for their OnlyFans, JustForFans, 4MyFans, etc. accounts as well. For sometimes they hook-up with a black male simply as a means to dodge being accused of racism. Like the many scumbag white/light-skinned models who treat their 1st (or any)time of taking on a black cock to be deserving of a badge of honor.
This following of porn-endorsed archetypes is why many black males in multi-colored environments fail the black male community, but even more so, themselves. Such as the black male who stepped to me that night. With his biggest mistake being like most such black males...He never turned that porn-endorsed aggression off when approaching a Black male. He forgot how unnecessary (and for me, downright unappealing) that role is.

For that reason, he loss any chance he had with me. And he will continue to lose whenever he tries stepping to someone of any color self-aware and self-assured as I have now become.
Don't get me wrong. As a result of overcoming my years ago self-proclaimed racism towards other Black males because of trauma, I do find some Black males who are sexy as fuck just like every other color/ethnicity. However, I usually find them at all-Black events. The problem there is that in being a proud American, I am very loving of the melting pot that is America. Reveling in the great sexual beauty of all of those colors coming together. So any environment that is all black, all white, or any single color in between, I don't like being in for long. Add to that my being a proud and real New York City native, I am even more so appreciative, craving, and respecting of that melting pot and its sexual beauty.

Now, if I could find more Black men unlike that guy in those multi-colored environments, instances such as the one I told about here would happen a lot less. For within a week's time, this was not the only such incident with a black male in a racially diverse environment. In fact, it was the 2nd of 3 within a week.

So yes, sadly I must report that this is a real problem. One in which many black males in racially diverse spaces need to do better for me to address them as Black men. 

Saturday, August 7, 2021

What's In My Sex Party/Backroom Pouch?


If you've ever seen me at either a sex party, or bar event with a backroom, then you may have noticed me wearing a pouch on my belt, or one gartered around my thigh. If so, you might have wondered what's inside that pouch. Well, if you've been either my playmate, or a voyeur watching closely, then you already know the answer....

It's mainly condoms and lube.

If you have ventured to such play spaces, then you have definitely been ear witness to some guy saying, "Anybody got any lube?", or unless it's a bareback sex party, "Anybody got a condom?"

With such being the case, and me coming well-prepared (therefore supplied), you would think that I would be the 1st to offer lube, and/or a condom. Well, as much as I try to spread messages leading to great sexual health, guys making a request for condoms and/or lube can go fend for themselves. There are a number of instances leading up to this position on the matter, but hindsight on one in particular is what led the charge.

Some years ago, I was go-go dancing at a Daniel Nardicio party. I witnessed the usual greeting amongst the go-go boys between both, those who did and those who did not know each other. All of them were either white or light-skinned Latino. No matter how shy the other seemed, someone made the 1st move to either greet or introduce themselves to somebody. To every somebody except for me, the only Black go-go boy.

Later on in the night, this muscled up blond and a brown-haired twink were hooking up in the changing area. The blond asked, "Anybody got a condom?"

Being the enabler of everyone practicing safer sex that I was back then, I went into my bag and got him one. I was not turned on by the sex at all. After all, what was there to be turned on by? It was 2 dismissive white boys fucking, while I'm a self-assured Black man whose was then (and now) aware that their dismissiveness of just my presence was a product of their own insecurity. You can look at many a gay porn to see that via its producers and performers. But at the moment, I took pride in helping them have safer sex, and let that override all else.

However, as time went on, and hindsight being 20/20, I realized that I wasted a condom on walking waste products. So I needed to rethink my credo of being Mr. Helpful.

For what they did is no different than what most twinky to muscular white boys, light Latinos, and buffed, big dicked black guys, (in short, porn's idea of beautiful) do all the time at sex parties and backrooms to this very day. They come to the space, even if there are condoms and lube available in the space for them to grab themselves, looking to who is considered "undesirable" to provide them with those condoms and lube. Because as far as they're concerned, the "undesirables" can't get any sex themselves, and desperately need to live vicariously through them, so those "undesirables" will provide whatever the "pretty people" need to fuck.

Before someone tries going there, let me assure you that this is not about envy of how they got some and I didn't. While I am always horny, I have a work ethnic even at a sexual nightlife event. And that work ethic makes my getting laid not be a priority. Nor do I envy someone who gets an opportunity to get laid, and takes it. If it interferes with with their job of being eye candy interacting with the patrons, I'm disappointed in them, but I'm never envious.

And why would I be envious? Besides my past in porn, and waaaay more relevant are my written and unwritten sexual escapades that at least on my end, were done based on a premise other than "Ooh! He's hot!". And at a number that if my gay-fucking was ever put on trial, you would find a courtroom full of subpoenaed witnesses.

So while it's more about quality not quantity, what I take umbrage with is that in these guys' racist eyes, I was seen as one of those "undesirables". "Undesirable" to the point that not only was I deemed un-fuckable, but even worse, unworthy of acknowledging my presence in the vernacular of being work colleagues for that night. The asking for a condom and willfully grabbing it from me of all people showed these white boys to be no better than the black bums I see on the street. Black bums who when they had some money, would always ask me if I was Black American because they thought I was foreign-born, but now that they have nothing, and want some of what I have, I've suddenly become "Brother".

So after enduring so many instances like this, and ending up often getting condoms and samples of lube, I bring my own tools now. And those tools are only for me and my playmate.

I started putting them in such a pouch because I didn't want to be those guys I mentioned before, whose type are still too aplenty today. I didn't want to be one of those guys relying on others who I think are less attractive to do for me what I, as a real man, should be doing for myself. All because I think "I'm pretty, so they should serve me". That's how I would roll if I believed some of the hype about me. So it is how I could roll. However, it's not how anyone should roll.

Now, if the guy is not my potential playmate, he has 1 of 4 choices standing near me:
  1. take his chances fucking raw and get an STI, or HIV if they're not on PrEP. As I stated in a post for Thotyssey, there's no shame in getting an STI or HIV. But this outcome is a good comeuppance if their "pretty-boy" laziness makes them squeamish by being still uneducated about HIV/STIs;
  2. stop what they're doing to get one of the condoms and/or lube provided by the space;
  3. wait for someone who does see themselves as "undesirable", so they do want to live their sex lives through those "pretty people", or;
  4. use spit, which actually is not good to do because it is water, which easily absorbs back into the body. Hence why most if not all guys who use spit as lube slowly, but surely kill their brain cells by also using poppers.
That's why I take that pouch with me every time I know I'm going to a sex party, or somewhere with a backroom. Because if I ever forget, those options will then become my options. And I did have one instance in which I was faced with that. To prove again that I practice what I preach, let me reveal that I chose Choice 2. And sometimes, even with my pouch on me, I've done Choice 4 because I was so into the guy. But since I stand firm in my anti-poppers stance, I do eventually stop, and get the lube.

So as most everything  has a backstory, a simple pouch attached to me at sex parties and backrooms is no different. So if and when you see it, you know what it is, what's in it, what sparked its getting there, and what you have to be to me in order to partake of it.😉

Saturday, June 12, 2021

Sex Party Etiquette: Do You, Boo! Don't Intrude!

I knew when sex parties started coming back as the pandemic got under some degree of control that a level of social ineptitude would expose itself. I foresaw it enough to write an article about it for Thotyssey's "X-Rayed Sex".  Also being single and sexual, once sex parties returned, so would I. So I have been to Scum and Milk Chocolate NYC parties. However, I did not expect to see behavior at both parties so far that would make me feel the need to post this on my Instagram:

Recent ventures have been plucking at my last nerve. For it seemed at a recent of SCUM's Gush party that patrons had no concept of doing their own thing. I couldn't even fuck a guy in the sling without 3 - 5 older white and Latin guys coming in the middle of it. Putting their faces and hands in places that totally interrupted the flow of the sex. It was just a night in which were so void of social skills that they all felt the need to horn in on someone else's play time, instead of finding their own.

In the case of this one 20-something trash heap that happened to be Latino, he felt the need to horn in with the intent to flat out steal my playmate. Well, by further interaction, I realized the white guy he horned in on my time with was actually high as fuck, so there was no real loss there. So the white guy did me a favor substituting me with the trash heap because my 50 year-old popper-free hole was too tight compared to the trash heap's poppered-up hole. As the white guy needed a looser hole to accommodate his drug-induced inability to keep the hard-on I created.

If anyone is wondering why I am citing the color/ethnicity of those involved, I do so because their actions triggered a need for acknowledgement. Either to praise someone for doing better than the racist sexual expectation (racist sexpectation) gay media has told us to expect from one of a certain background; OR call out a behavior that is indicative of the numerous acts of sexual entitlement I have reported over the years and which color/ethnicities facets of gay entertainment has given a pass to commit it most. So this instance, it is to cite the latter.

With that said, I can give credit to most of the Black males who were present. For gym-bodied Black males (porn-endorsed as they are) tend to also be culprits of such behavior. However on this night, of the many who were there, I had such an intrusion from only one.  

Perhaps this was a bad week. Because the last straw making me need to address this inability to do their own thing happened at a Milk Chocolate NYC party held at Rainbow Playground. If anyone has been to that space, then you know how it has a number of booths and rooms for privacy while you play. However, the doors are locked by a hook & eye latch like the one pictured below So many of the social retards (and there were many) will push the door open while you're playing and peep at you. When you are secure in your playing, or simply want your privacy by being in that room, it gets creepy. Making you feel as if you're being gawked at by Jack Nicholson's character in "The Shining" when he chops open the hole in the door and says, "Here's Johnny!"

Such patron's behavior might not be as horrific, but to the sexually secure and those wanting their privacy in a space that allows it, it is just as unnerving. 

The reason I point out sexually secure is because one thing this age of OnlyFans and JustForFans has exposed is the desperation for validation many gay males still have over their gay sex. The tell-tale sign is how they look into the camera often while having sex instead of focusing on their partner. Transfer that mindset to sex parties, then you have guys who need to be seen, instead of enjoying being seen by chance like a true exhibitionist. And they do it on repeat because they get no real satisfaction since they're just preaching to the choir. 

Only someone seeking that validation would not be royally pissed when the intruders I speak of got to the point that it seems they toyed enough with the hook to undo the lock and open the door to the rooms in the midst of guys playing. Leading to groups of 3 - 5 guys staring at those in the room. What makes this even worse?...

While walking around the space, I saw this happening simultaneously in 2 separate rooms at opposite ends of the space.

Some of you are probably wondering why am I the one complaining, and not the guys this happened to. It's because the typical gay male is taught by various facets of our own community to be complacent to intrusions upon our personal time and spaces. And I want to take us out of that display of self-loathing. Do better as gay/bisexual males. Especially since my past as a go-go boy and studio-based porn performer, I know firsthand that gay porn and nightlife are 2 of those facets teaching such rabid complacency. One of the reasons I never became a star in neither is because any rule in which I felt my personal space was being intruded upon, I pushed back. If not by verbal force, I let my actions of rebelling do the talking.

Hence why when such intrusions upon my playtime in a room with someone happened to me, I immediately threw the 1st guy out. Thereby never letting it get to the point that unless it was in an open space that one guy became a group of 4, 5, or more guys of guys watching my entire play session. Spending all that time watching me instead of seeking fun of their own. Perhaps if they sought fun of their own, they would not be so horned up that they become intrusive to one's personal space when they approach someone. Or perhaps they would be more resilient to being rejected after approaching someone in a civilized manner.

Well, as a 5'6" Black man who finds himself in mostly diverse environments, is versatile in action, yet unlike the porn-endorsed image of what he should be with non-blacks prefers bottoming, if anyone knows rejection, it's me. But as you can see, I also know how to bounce back from it, and not be a social retard because I let the rejection beat me.

That's the message I'm trying to get through here. For this acting out because of this inability to cope, and sexual repression is what is keeping good people away from sex parties. And I'm sure some reading this will try blaming my writing this as the reason why those people stay away. Well, I know that's just passing the buck to avoid the big picture. For if I don't write it here, there will be many more who will go tell their friends and the word will spread from there. My writing this is just written confirmation to 2nd their hearsay, not incite it. Either way, it furthers it as being true. And that last part is what makes me an easy target for blame. For I'm the one you see telling the story.

With all that said, is there is an easy solution to the problem? Only if the issues that are causing these negative behaviors at sex parties is corrected from the patrons by them taking a much-needed look within. Otherwise, the promoters' hands are tied, and not in a good way.

Lastly, do note that overall, I still have fun at sex parties. These things I'm pointing out are inconveniences that stop them from being even more fun. Fun that can be stifled completely for someone who doesn't know their way around it like I have found. And that's the point. They, nor I should have to do that. So this is me serving gay males notice that we need to do better. Don't come to sexually permissive spaces until you have learned how to keep your jealousy and insecurities in check. Learn to stop yourself from imposing upon other's time. For you are ruining it for those who deserve to be there. 

Qther rules of Sex Party Etiquette can be found on the more adult "L's XXX-Ray Vision".