Tré Xavier - Sex Addict?

After attending the underwear party at Pieces Bar in NYC, I came home and checked my email. In it was a notification from Twitter telling me that I had a new follower. The follower was MTV.

It's not the 1st time that I've gotten such an email where I'm being notified by Twitter that someone with a name is following me. Early on after creating my Twitter account Out Magazine became one of my followers. That was easy to brush off when you take note of how many people Out Magazine follows. And of course, with all the poignant issues I have addressed here, I still have yet to write for and/or be interviewed by Out Magazine. Therefore, my initial reaction to being notified that MTV was following me was "no big deal". It's just that somehow they came across my name, and I was interesting for a hot minute.

However, after further investigation, I didn't realize how HOT that minute was, or what that HOT minute was about. I decided to go to the MTV Twitter page mentioned in the email. It said:

CASTING for MTV DOC True Life: I'm Addicted To Sex. Hit us up w/your story


Then as I scrolled down the page, I saw all of their tweets repeated that line but was directed at various people....I was one of those people. So I'm now realize that some of my tweets have given them the impression that I'm a sex addict. OK, if this is to proceed further, then I have to think about if I consider myself a sex addict.


Before I give an answer, let's explore some facts of my sexual history that may lead one to such a conclusion: 
1) I will admit to having such a big porn collection through DVDs and files on both my PC and laptop that I forget I am even in possession of some scenes and titles.
2) I do explore sex parties. Not every single one I get email invites to (that's too many cum-loads and an eventual need for Viagra), but a good number. I will admit to using volunteering to help out as a money-saver when its payment is FREE ENTRY.
3) I do partake of backroom style action in bars and clubs.
4) I did get a rush from doing all the videos that I have uploaded to XTube, GayForIt, and RocketTube, which I believe may have contributed to the nice cum-loads at the end of each.

 And I may very well do more - solos and/or with others, partly because I still get off on the continued following I have on these sites, even though I am retired from the gay porn industry.

In all of those facts, while like a sex addict, I am attracted to the act of sex. And like a sex addict, my personal preference ignites my libido. However, UNLIKE a sex addict, if that personal preference isn't found, I will lose interest in being satisfied by that means of the moment. This explains why that while I do have profiles on Manhunt, Adam4Adam, DudesNude and others, few guys can claim to having a sexual encounter with me through an online hook-up site.


A male sex addict is human, therefore he does have a type. But unless I'm wrong, if that type isn't available at the moment, a gay male sex addict then doesn't care who sucks his dick, who he fucks, or who fucks him. Just as long as the other person is willing to give him his preferred brand of sexual pleasure. Hence why I don't consider myself a sex addict. Because for me, a genuine attraction must be involved at all times, making me VERY PICKY about who I get that pleasure from. No matter how much I may want my dick sucked, if I find you unattractive, you are not sucking my dick. No matter how much I want to poke a hole, I refuse to fuck any hole in complete darkness no matter how sweetly tight you can claim it to be. And no matter how much my hole may twitch craving to be filled with a nice hard cock, even if you want to do it doggy-style and in the deepest dark room so I don't have to look at you, I MUST know AND like the face of who's fucking me and if I don't find you attractive,....you will not even be allowed to knock, so lose all hopes you may have of getting in.


Believe it or not, I'm not offended by MTV thinking of me as a potential candidate for their episode of "True Life" about sex addicts, even though I disagree. In fact, I'm honored to have been noticed. After all, when you think about it, I am a bit of an oddity. How many Black males with any media exposure whatsoever do you know who are as open about their sex lives and sexuality in general as I am, AND are out and proud gay/bisexuals? Sad to say, not many. It's because being a Black male this sexually open is taboo, even amongst Blacks. The mass media allows us Blacks to say and show that we like sex, but they never gives us the voice to say what we like exactly and why. So if this (what I take as a misunderstanding) gives me the opportunity to be one of the much needed many voices amongst Blacks to do that, then I'm all for it.


So in closing, while I do like sex, and not consider myself a sex addict, I am still sending this post to MTV. From there, I am leaving it up to them to decide....Is Tré Xavier a sex addict, or just a very sexual being?

Activist M.O.: IN Topic, Go Long! NEEDED Topic, Snip!

I knew what I was going to get when I put my fingers on that keyboard and started typing with my comment. Me, once again taking on the half-witted fucked up allegiances that stall the progress of the LGBT community.

Last week on Facebook, I saw an update from The Advocate about Ronnie Kroell saying in an editorial for The Huffington Post where he asks Americans to view the world through a “lens of integration, not separation”. While his editorial does make a remark about the separatism within the LGBT community, his main focus in the editorial is to make America as a whole accepting of members of the LGBT community. You are probably wondering why do I find this to be a problem. It is a problem because I felt as a gay right activist, that before he asks this of America as a whole, that he should ask it of the gay community. For not seeing their own community through the "lens of integration" and making separatism the way to go is the very reason that so many "-isms" plague the LGBT community. The top 3 being Ageism, Racism, and Sexism. All of these "-isms" halting the progress of the LGBT community need to be addressed FIRST, before we dare ask anything of America.

I made a comment to that effect, using racism as my main focus, and comment after comment made me have to go deeper and deeper in defending my point of view. That is, until I decided that I was going to address the matter in great length HERE - on my own turf.

My remarks about Ronnie Kroell's editiorial statements were not an attack on just Ronnie Kroell, gay rights activist. They were an attack on ALL of the most publicized gay rights activists in general, for I have grown annoyed and frustrated with how those aforementioned "-isms" are ignored because these activists are treating their activism plights like fashion trends - meaning they'll acknowledge the issue if it's the "IN" thing to address, like gay marriage and "Don't Ask, Don't Tell". Meanwhile Ageism, Racism, and Sexism go repeatedly swept under the rug.

To best describe the reason for my frustration, let me use this analogy:
Think of America as a street. And each type of person based on orientation, religion, and position of power has their own house - the LGBT house, the Straight house, the Christian house, the Catholic house, the Government house, etc. In order to keep the street looking presentable, each house must maintain the upkeep of their yard, which means all the varieties of flowers (a.k.a. people) allowed to grow and prosper void of any interference from weeds (a.k.a. hatred) in their garden. Keeping that analogy in mind, the gay rights activists are inhabitants of the LGBT house. To tell America to accept us is like inhabitants of the LGBT house going to the Straight house, the Christian house, the Catholic house, the Government house, and all the other houses on the street, and telling them to get rid of their hatred weeds - BUT the entire time, the LGBT garden is a wreck with the weeds (of racism, ageism, and sexism) choking the life out of not only every non-White flower, but crawling around the older flowers and up the seasoned bushes that can educate and shelter the young flowers in the garden and choking the life out of them as well. That is what the gay rights activist (that the media-heads decide to put a spotlight on) are doing by asking America for acceptance and tolerance. They are going in everyone else's yard, telling them they need to clean up their weeds, and haven't even started to clean up their own yet. Said in 2 words ----SHEER HYPOCRISY.

Even though they should be addressed FIRST AND FOREMOST, the problems within the LGBT community like racism, ageism and sexism are repeatedly overlooked as they are tearing our community apart from within. With that being the case, how can we dare approach the American public on issues like gay marriage and DADT (the "IN" topics for activists) when we are so obviously damaged to the point that any right-winger can throw it back in our face. Before we address and correct those matter within our community, asking the American public to let us marry and to repeal DADT makes us look like hypocrites. And I have said it before, that in order to approach your oppressor, you must be better than they are. Being a hypocrite, as many gay rights activist are by not addressing the issues of racism, ageism, and sexism within the LGBT community makes us as a whole no better.

One comment defending Ronnie Kroell said that he might not take a stand on something like racism because his experiences may be different from mine. And you know what? That is a BULLSHIT excuse if I ever heard one.

Victor Hoff, the autor of MOC Blog is White, and has repeatedly spoke against racism, and has allowed me to do the same on his blog. Why would Victor do this, when: (1) he most likely has NOT had the run-ins with racism that I have, and; (2) would become way more popular by being another sell-out to humanity talking about only the "cute White boys"? It is because Victor Hoff is not all about living in a world where White is the only beauty. He is about compassion, and looking out for his fellow man which means seeing to it that every man of every color is treated and represented on an even plain. Therefore, the reason so many White gay activists won't speak on racism, ageism, or sexism it is because of them lacking that brand of compassion. Compassion that doesn't need to come from shared experiences, but from having enough depth of character. And the compassion these activists do display is just for show, which is why such separatist acts like ageism, racism, and sexism always winds up being a little snip in their speech, and never the main focus.

Another frustration of mine is that the gay media seems to want to make the gay activist packaged in the form young White males, making older voices of gay wisdom like Larry Kramer gone and forgotten. In another one of my comments on the website, I pointed out this fact as to how Ronnie Kroell is getting attention for what he's saying because he is a young, White male, because what he said is nothing new. I have seen, read and heard many gay people of various ages, colors, and genders say the same thing Ronnie Kroell said. The problem was that the media give them nowhere nearly as much hype, unless they were young White males.  This tells me that gay activism is now becoming a marketing gimmick rather than being about presenting the truth regardless of the package.

The same frustration followed me recently, as I tried to help Jessica Ransom recruit people to interview for her upcoming piece on Racism in the LGBT Community for OURsceneTV.com. To do that posting that I did to help recruit male interviewees, and those post that I've done in the past on the issue of racism, you know I feel passionately about it being addressed. What concerns me now is that the main gay media outlets like The Advocate, Out, Logo, etc. will allow the piece to go unnoticed by the gay masses because it is: (1)about (the not "IN" topic of ) racism AND; (2) produced by a woman.

Am I right to be concerned? With too many gay males being so sexist that they want the only gays in the room to be males, YES. And in addition to that, with most gay media heads being White males, HELL YES! And if you admit the truth to yourself, you will be concerned as well. But only time will tell if I'm right or not. This is one time, that I hope it becomes one of the very few times that I'm proven wrong.

So in closing, I make no apologies for anything that I said in reply to that posting about Ronnie Kroell. I made my comments there, and wrote this post to show that there is a big part of the LGBT community that is being overlooked in not just his, but all too many gay right activists' speeches, and no togetherness will be formed, therefore no battles will truly be won until they are addressed from within. Thank you.

In Lust With....Tall & Slim

I have made it no secret that I'm open to a connection with a man of practically any height from a variety of body types except for skinny, fat, and overly muscular. But out of every body type and height within that spectrum, I must admit that one body type makes the lust bucket in me shift into high gear. That type being guys who are tall & slim.

Before we go any further, let me assure you that I find a definite line between the words "slim" and "skinny". They hold the same difference as "husky" and "fat". In both comparison, the 1st word is the healthy version, while the other word is not.

I don't know exactly why I have this attraction. The best I can come up with is that it's because they often show themselves to be like me - more to them than their packaging would suggest. Mainly, in regards to their physical strength. When you look at a muscular gym-rat, be they short or tall, you're expecting them to be strong, and able to lift "x" amount of pounds. And especially during a sexual tryst, a 5'6" and 145 lbs. guy like me being picked and fucked in a standing position by a 5' 10" or taller muscular guy is not a surprise. It actually has sometimes become common and all too expected for my taste. With a tall and slim guy however, someone my size would initially think, "There's no way he would do me like that. He doesn't weigh much more than me to even try. And if he's successful, I doubt he'll do it a good length of time."

Um, SURPRISE!!!! The next thing you know that tall & slim guy has your little self holding on to his neck, preparing for his cock to slide into your ass, AND THEN he fucks you in that standing position for a longer time than a muscular gym-rat does.

Another reason for my attraction to tall and slim guys may also be that in addition to how unexpected their physical prowess is compared to muscle boys, being one who favors what's NOT considered the more popular choice makes me more drawn to their slim, unassuming physique. In the gay community, hitting the gym, becoming a muscle boy and gym-rat is pathetically common. To the point that, while this truth may offend many (do I care?), a gym-created (as opposed to labor-created) muscle boy is more likely to be just a fuck, while a tall & slim guy has a better chance of having the choice to be either a one-night stand, regular fuck-buddy, or even a boyfriend. It's because as I've said before, I LOVE NATURE. So I'm more drawn to someone with a natural fit physique than someone who (unless a physical condition makes it necessary) willingly stocks up on Creatine, Muscle Milk, protein shakes and any or all of those other muscle supplements, because they've made themselves into prisoners of attaining the stereotypical gay image of a beautiful male physique. In a muscle boy's defense, I must admit that I do get off on seeing and tasting those thick, creamy white loads of man-milk they spew because of those supplements.

Proof of my attraction to tall & slim guys can easily be found in the history of this blog. For while my writings about muscle boys have often been 1-time things, tall & slim guys have more often been mentioned as regular fuck-buddies. Tom D. and my partner in crime in my sexscapades from "Backroom Sleaze On The Seas" and "Live On Stage....FUCKING!" are just 2 of the tall & slim guys that I have mentioned more than once. And there have been others that I haven't mentioned, and I'm sure there will be more.

What makes me sure there will be more is because one thing all of these guys have in common is that besides the known theory of tall & slim guys having big dicks (which an anti-size queen like myself could care less about), they ALL have had nice asses. 

Asses that an ass-man like myself have found irresistible at rimming, then groping and massaging while being fucked by them or while fucking them, like I did a tall, slim Asian hottie recently with a tight engulfing tunnel that made me feel I was being given a run for my money. I don't know why they have such great asses. Maybe it's nature's way of making up for what girth they don't have on their arms, legs, and/or chest, so nature puts it elsewhere on their body. Whatever the reason, I'm fine with it ;-)

Now, if you'd excuse me, all of this talk about the sex appeal of tall & slim guys is making me crave to be on my back, and fucked like a savage in missionary position, while giving a tall, slim hottie's ass a massage with my hands and feet.

Blackout Room = Troll Central Station

Let me start this post by asking a question that could hit on the fact of how way too many sex party promoters do false advertising.

Patrons, of those parties that claim to have so many hot and sexy guys confirmed to attend with a blackout room as part of, or is the entire the set up for the party, how many have you discovered to have a bevy of trolls in attendance instead?

I'm sure your answer is EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.

It's a fact that I probably don't need to point out, but men with any degree of confidence in their looks don't want to hide it when pursuing a sex partner, because they have a confidence in their looks that makes them know what they want instead of settling for anything with a pulse the way trolls do. Trolls go to a sex party, and if it's in a dark room, if you have a nice body, you're a bigger target, but in all actuality, almost any body will do. And no matter how much you may try to get them off of you, their desperation makes them ignore your body language and/or words saying "NO".

In some cases, the trolls make the "blackout room" themselves. I volunteered at one party where to create an ambiance, we changed the white light bulbs originally in the area to colored bulbs. As I'm taking a tour after all of the set-up crew's hard work, I come back to that area I was setting up within the 1st hour of the party to find practically all of the lights are OUT. And since I have the rare gift of being able to have some degree of vision in the dark, I get to see who the culprits are that without haste are now lining the newly pitch black walls...TROLLS. Now, had they had any degree of self-confidence maybe they wouldn't be justify being called "trolls". However, to undo my work because of your low self-esteem makes you the very ugly bitch that you think that you are.

A part of me feels sorry for them being so desperate, but another part of me bears in mind how they most likely made themselves into this. Whether it's by them making themselves a slave to the corporate world that they never got up from behind a desk and did anything for themselves which has led to the pounds getting put on. Or made their boss into a god by catering to that boss's bitchiness that they've worried to the point of aging before their time. Or if it's by excessive drug use taking its toll by speeding up the aging process. Or excessive drinking that has led to a gut that makes you look like you're 9 months pregnant and your water can break at any second. I then realize that I AM NOT A RENTBOY or RENTMEN, therefore I don't have to cater to your physical flaws induced by your own lacks in self-worth and self-pride.

In short, unless I decide to escort, you made your bed, now lie in it...alone.

I like reveling in the beauty of my partner during sex. To the point that of all the tryst I've had at my place, all but one had the lights ON. And that one exception was because my room was such a horrid mess more than the others that even I couldn't bear to look at it.

Anyway, proof of my love for seeing my partners can be found as early as my post from just a couple of weeks ago, "Write That Down #20", where I said:

"....I myself am just coming back from the Hot Jock Party where I was a top all night. Pleased to say that I pretty much sucked and fucked the United Nations as my playmates included the bubble-butts of a Latino, a muscular White American and a muscular Euro, and a tall and slim Black guy. No Asian booty got plugged, but I did cop a feel of some of their smooth asses and suck on some of their cocks."

Now, if I was all about sex in a blackout room, then how would I know and adore the fact that I was dipping my dick in a bag of Skittles and "tasting the rainbow"....and what a sweet rainbow it was. Being able to see you in the dim or full-on lights allows me to have no regrets.

I don't like having to refer to the lights coming on as "the ugly lights". At the Hot Jock Party, I don't have that problem. But there are some parties that I won't name the names of (this time) where you will have that problem.

Therefore, for someone to host a party in complete darkness is not looking to cater to a crowd self-confident about their looks. They're catering to those with low self-esteem who wish to hide. I will admit that this is to some degree a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" scenario. Because while a room full of people arrogant over their looks can create an annoying vibe, a room full of people with think of themselves as ugly creates a depressing vibe. So your choice becomes which can you endure and get over easier, (a) the annoying vibe or (b) the depressing vibe. I personally will take choice (a) because I can fuck that annoyance vibe away alot easier,  while the depression vibe may kill my chance of even getting a hard-on altogether.

Now, those who think they're so cute shouldn't get too comfortable. For most of the guys we think are attractive now are living the very aforementioned lifestyles that lead them to becoming trolls in the near future. So they will soon be living in Troll-dom themselves because the fact is....youth hides the effects of those aforementioned lifestyles that leads one to become a troll for but so long. Proof can be found in many old pictures of guys that you would now classify as trolls.

So in closing, I say to you self-confident hotties looking for a party, if you see "blackout party" in an ad....STAY AWAY! And you hosts claiming that you'll have so many hot guys in your party when it's a blackout party....SHAME ON YOU for making such promises! Because we all know the equation:

Blackout Room = Troll Central Station

And if they didn't know before, thanks to me....they do now.