Girls...Ew!

I’ll get to the title later, because I don’t have much good to say regarding what brought it about. So I’ll start with the good stuff that kind of led up to it.

I went to the most recent NYJP/GBU Boxers & Briefs Party. Who did I see but the muscular hottie from “Muscled Cocks And Ass From The Past”. I was at the bar in my underwear, and kept glancing back but wasn’t sure if he was looking at me as well. Well, while standing there, I felt a firm hand squeeze my ass. Now if you’re a hottie, squeezing my ass makes me quite easy. Easy to the point that if you have a hard-on, a condom, and lube when you do it, then depending on where we are, you could fuck my ass right there with no argument from me. And at this underwear party, plus the hand belonging to this muscled stud, he had a shot at getting my tight hole wrapped around his cock right then and there. But he didn’t know that – then. Instead we sat at the bar for a bit, and finally got each other’s names. I was also able to discover that he's Russian.

Why is it so rare for American gay White men to make it public when they have a love for chocolate, especially when the chocolate is NOT big and brawny. That's should be a future blog topic. Anyway...

We were intensely into each other. While I have a thing for White guys with uncommon facial features (in his case, full lips), his intense attraction to me might have been due to either his liking men of color, by my being able to take and enjoy his savage style of fucking, or a combination of the two. He gave me his screenname from a cruising site, and I guaranteed him I wouldn’t forget.

To make a long story short, somewhere within my time with other guys (3 as a top and 5 as a bottom that left my ass cheeks feeling the plumpness of a workout), me and the muscled stud lost each other. But I still had that screenname so when I got home, I looked it up, and left my website and email address, as well as my phone number, and within a the week, he by the middle of the week texted me.

He told me about a SPAM (Sex Party And More) party taking place on that Saturday night. It's a party only for both men and women of the LGBT community - no straight people. As it turns out, we're both some degree of bi.

Now you may recall Steve. He was looking for a sex party, so I passed the info from the muscled stud along to him in an email. The email response I got from him was this:

are there going to be girls there? ew!

So with the hopes that I misunderstood his tone, and he was just joking, I explained to him that the women do their thing and he does his. Because otherwise I was going to become immensely pissed off at him, but also myself for allowing someone into my sexual circle who doesn't deserve the degree of sex appeal I believed them to have.

Before writing this post, I sent him an email just to be sure that I didn't misunderstand. This is just like I said why I hate constant text and emails, because tones can get misconstrued. Unfortunately that wasn't the case here, because when I asked Steve about that reply, his response was simple with no joking tone:

I am not attracted to women.

With this response, Steve sex appeal has now plummeted. Because narrow-mindedness is a major turn-off for me in a lover, fuck buddy, or a friend, and depending on the subject matter that one is narrow-minded about is what will be the deciding factor as to whether of not you're worth being in any circle of mine. And because of this, as a fuck buddy, he's out. This doesn't look good because he's already borderline as a friend for him saying the polite thing about my friend Michael Carmine DiBianco's show, SHOWBOY to my face, but via the chicken shit method of text messaging, he was reminiscent of someone he dated - Tyson Cane - TOTALLY TACTLESS. Makes you wonder why they didn't go running off into the sunset together.

I always explain why I feel the way I do on a matter, and this time is no different.
When I read that "are there going to be girls there? ew!", my 1st thought was, "How the fuck old are you, 5?"

What was most troubling to me about Steve's response which is why I asked him if he was joking was him saying, "ew" in mentioning women. That is an infantile response if I ever heard one that plays into the negative stereotype about gay men being immature. It's also as infantile as the mentality that makes hip-hip niggas (not men) refer to women as "bitches". Like 5 year-olds screaming, "Ill, cooties!" And you should all know by now how I feel about stereotypical people. You can want to be in a sexual space with only men. You can have no sexual attraction to women whatsoever, but at least BE A MAN WHILE LACKING THAT ATTRACTION. Saying "ew" makes it seem like women are a flesh-eating disease to be in the presence of. Since that is not the case, it takes an extreme lack of manhood to not admire what women bring to our world. For one, without women me, you, Steve and every narrow-mind that thinks like Steve would not be on this earth. I would still have some respect for him, if it wasn't for that "ew!". If he simply said, "I prefer all male parties", he would have maintained a great deal of dignity.

The same goes for women who think that moronic way about males. Our genders are intertwined in a way that you won't be able to break for all eternity no matter how hard you try. And while I may not be totally sexually attracted to women, knowing their worth to our being is why I can share a space with them, even a sexual space. For sex plays a big part in an adult's life. I mean, how often have you just needed a good lay to relieve your tension over something totally non-sexual? I've seen it happen quite often to people, including myself. So I can be in a room with women having their own sexual pleasure while I have mine with a man. Revelling in how both genders are having their tensions released. If not together physically by having sex with each other, at least together spiritually by sharing a space.

Unfortunately, there are waaaay too many gay Americans who share this sentiment where they don't like to share a space with the opposite sex. My feeling is that all sex is beautiful - be it straight, gay, lesbian, or bi. As long as it's between consenting adults, it's all good. I don't have to participate in what they are doing, and I don't mind being in the same room as what they're doing either. I admit that when I come across a lesbian scene on a porno, 9 times out of 10 I skip to the next scene. BUT at least I'm aware that it's a beautiful thing, and that 1 out of 10 times that beautiful thing does catch my eye and make me want to watch. And usually not for arousal purposes. It's just simply to see the beautiful act that is sex from some other gender besides my own.

Too many Americans want to be surrounded by what they call, "their own", and gay American men seem to live by that self-destructive code more than anyone else. It is the reason why centuries later racism is still alive and well in this country. Why do you think so many industries (including the porn industry) are suffering right now? Because that separatism has reached a boiling point. And the same will probably happen with the separatism leading to secular lives over gender and sex.

You would think that since being gay is already considered taboo in many circles, that gay/bi Americans would be more open-minded to the beauty of sex from all orientations. More so than a heterosexual. But based on Steve's statement, and how many of you probably sadly share his sentiment, our progress of acceptance will be stalled thanks to that brand of thinking, because in order for us to progress we have to first see the beauty in our differences. Be those differences, ethnic, geographical, physical, etc. And I know I'm not the first to say this in one form or another, but I must repeat it because it's a truth that you can't dispute.

Fuck A Prize-Winning Ass

Whenever I entered the Ass Contest at The Urge in New York City , I was sure after showing off my ass that it would be easy to get a hot guy’s cock to place in between my ass cheeks.

Seems logical doesn’t it? You’re horny, and you get to feast your eyes on some bare ass of a hottie without spending so much as a penny. OR you’re not horny until you see that bare ass. Spending money may come into the equation if you want to go further by playing with that ass, instead of just gawking at it while it’s on stage.When I entered the contest back in 2004, I saw someone who seemed willing. The problem was that the feeling wasn’t mutual on my end. So I ended up going home alone, back to Brooklyn where I was living with Mom at the time, and there was no same-sex company allowed for me. However, these past 2 times I’ve entered the Ass Contest, not only have I won it with this most recent time ending in a tie, but I left the Urge with a hottie ready, willing, and able to please me with some dick.

The 1st of these 2 times, was from my post "Urge 'N' My Ass Again". What I left out of that story was how I left with a couple of guys visiting from out of town who saw me in the contest. There was no intention of a 3-way, and no 3-way occurred. The guy hitting on me was a mix of Asian/Latino and something else. I was sitting near him before the contest, and neither him or his friend said a word to me. So it's like after the contest, my bare ass is revealed, and all of the sudden my ass is a must-have.

We went back to their hotel room, and I was taken into the bathroom. We did it doggy-style and then we changed positions where he sat down so I could ride his dick. Besides liking the feel of his dick, what made the sex hot was the fact that he was so loud. You see, I love it when a top is just as or more verbal than me. Most tops, especially Americans, tend to be so quiet without so much as a good moan and groan. That's probably another reason I'm single is because hearing verbal displays of pleasure coming ONLY FROM ME becomes a big turn-off real fast. I mean, WE"RE FUCKING DAMNIT! I like your cock and you like my ass! Let not just me, but US make some fuckin' noise that says "This is some epic sex!".

This most recent win was a trip. First off, all of the other guys seemed nervous because they didn't know what to do. I told them that they just simply drop trou, show their bare ass, and the audience votes - that's all. When I told then that I did it before, they thought that alone was going to make my win. But they really though I had it cinched when one of them ask me did I win, and I admitted that I did win - both times. I however thought that night I was going to pass over my crown when this tall, muscular, hot Hawaiian living in San Fran with obvious junk in the trunk showed up. And I didn't hesitate to tell him that. Well, that night all of our predictions proved correct for the most part, because I did win like the others were predicting. But the crowds applause was so close, that they declared it a tie, so as I predicted, the Hawaiian hottie won as well.

Now I didn't want to fuck his prize-winning ass. But I wouldn't have minded groping it while he gave me some of that thick dick of his. But that's not the fuck session that happened that night.

After the contest, I went to sit across from where I was sitting beforehand, which was near this thick-eyebrowed blond cutie who before the contest, paid me no mind at all, because he set his sights on the go-go boy, Shay. Well after the contest, I seemed to become more appealing. He looked over at me, and gestured for me to come by him. I didn't move until I decided to go to the bathroom, and tease him by walking past him. We exchanged glances as I walked by, and he followed me into the bathroom. Too bad it was winter, and too bad I was alone. Too bad it was winter, because I was wearing my long trenchcoat. And too bad I was alone, because when I went to the bathroom, with it being NYC, you don't leave a nice coat like that unattended, so I was wearing it as I took a piss. The blond guy came up behind me and started feeling me up. I just smiled, reached back for a squeeze of his thighs (I'm also a bit of a leg man), zipped up, washed my hands, and went back to my spot.

That wasn't the end of the staring match. It wasn't with the blond, another round just started with someone else. As much as I would have liked it, the blond didn't get to tap my ass.

This someone else was a French cutie. I noticed him watching me, and I went over to him. Funny thing is I had to pass the blond to get to the French stud. We started pretty quickly getting physical. He kept feeling my ass, and I kept slipping my hands down the back of his pants to feel his. We left Urge to go back to his hotel, and he gave me just what I wanted. Besides a gorgeous face to look at. Besides a nice body to massage. Besides a soft ass to grope while his nice cock gets massaged to a happy ending by both my mouth and asshole - not once, but twice. The additional way he gave me the fuck that I wanted is by him giving me sounds. Sounds to know that he liked the prize-winning ass that he brought back with him. And for that, I didn't dare to hold back in giving him the same in return, because for those sounds, he deserved knowing of his prowess.

It may seem arrogant of me to talk about my ass this way. Believe me, I know that I'm a lucky man to have a much liked ass at my age, so I don't take what I have for granted. I'm just having some good, safe, fun. And I hope you're doing the same.

Tré's Facebook Hgh School Reunion

I got reunited with someone from high school as only I could via Facebook.

I went to my Facebook home page to find that I had 2 new friend requests. One of them I recognized the name right away. It was a friend of mine from high school, and I haven't talked to anyone from high school since graduating. He sent a message along with the request simply saying my legal 1st name with a question mark.

I accepted his friend request and replied with this message:

Yes, it's me. i was wondering if anyone from our graduating class was ever going to see that about me.Tré Xavier is my stage name, for if you read my profile, (then you read correct) I am among other things, a gay porn actor. Right now, what has made me most popular is my blog, Tré's X-Ray Vision.

The reason I was wondering if anyone from our graduating class would see it is because I did actually put down my high school and graduating year on my profile. Now all this time later, I've been found out by a former classmate.

Not long after my reply, we started chatting. He said he knew I was gay, before he knew that he himself was. I didn't go into all the details of my being a predominately gay bisexual. After all, there was a Latina in high school that I had a major thing for named Lisa. I never made my feelings known to her. Some reasons I was always aware of, but now I'm sure that subconsciously I knew even then that if/when the right guy came along, she would be replaced in my heart. So I just told him that I thought back then that he might be gay, and how I didn't realize my orientation until 7 years ago. You see, Jonathan Knight of New Kids On The Block wasn't the only one I had figured out before figuring out myself.

He said that he just happened to look up people who were in our graduating class, came across my name, and had to get his high school year book to make sure it was me. So I asked him if I changed much. He said that in high school, I was a skinny thing, now all that has changed. What's funny about that is that I never saw myself as skinny back then. I always saw myself as fit. From my senior year of high school until now. Maybe that explains my recent shock when people tell me that I'm building up muscle. Such as how this past Wednesday, a go-go boy at The Urge with a body and ass to die for felt my chest and stomach and was impressed. Or a woman I met after this chat who said my body was hot because it was so small and firm.

I was running late meeting a friend, so I had to cut the chat short, even though I would have liked it to go on longer. Because this was so unexpected. Then again, how many times have I written about a situation that shows how the motto for my life should be, "Expect the unexpected"?

Plenty, I'd say.

Well, I most definitely plan on keeping in touch. Especially since he is here in New York. In fact, he said he might even show up at my open forum on March 20th by MACT/NY at the LGBT Center. If one of the personality traits that made him one of my few friends in high school still remains, then he might have quite an interesting question to ask me. But with him, maybe more than one.

Did You Lose This Coming Out?

While I'm turning 38 this year, you would think that I would have realized my sexual orientation sooner. But like for most people that come to that realization late in life, there is always one or more factors that cause that delay. In my case, that delay was caused by obeying the rules I was forced to believe are the Christian rules regarding sexuality.

Now before I go further, let me say to all atheists reading this:
This blog entry is not forcing my faith in God upon you. So out of respect for that, do not put your atheist rhetoric of "there is no God" in my comment section. Because you will find what you say quickly deleted. This post is for those who have, still do have, or are considering having a faith in God. If that is not you, and you don't want to risk finding yourself enlightened by what I say here, then leave this post now.

I do believe these rules were forced upon me, because during my inner-conflict and my thoughts of suicide, I always prayed to God, "If I have something to live for, please stop me."

Now here I am, still alive, well, and in a little more than a month, I'll hit the big 3-8. And I say it with no shame, the number 38. Why others who may have tried the same thing, yet are no longer with us is a question I can't answer. All I can do is use the reality that I'm alive to the best of my abilities.

I notice that many gays who have a religious background often give it up when they come out. I didn't leave religion behind when I came to terms with my sexuality 7 years ago, and still to this day maintain a relationship with God. I will admit that I don't go to church as often as I did about 7 years ago, but that's mostly because of my increased social standing makes me need my weekend mornings (and sometimes evenings) to rest. And that day just happens to usually fall on Sunday.

Many religious people show themselves to be their religions' own worst enemy. The ousting (and in some religions, all out killing) of out gay/bi members says nothing about God. It however say plenty about them.

For centuries, people who follow a certain religion have claimed that their act of ostracizing an individual was "God's will". Is it really God's will to distance himself from someone for loving another consenting adult? I don't believe so. That may be a Old Testament notion, but not a New Testament one. Once I realize that, plus the fact that while I had a sexual attraction to women, no matter how hard I tried by trying to make myself more religious, my even stronger sexual attraction for men wouldn't go away, I realized what was at play amongst the religious people who are so quick to point a "shame-on-you" finger at me.

It was, is, and always will be the age-old trick of people creating a diversion by making you look at others so they can hide their own flawed (maybe even more so soul-damaging behavior). I mean, just imagine what kind of skeletons are in Bill O'Reilly's closet. There's probably enough there that if you poured them into the Central Park lake, the lake would flood the streets of half of New York City. I will admit that my mother was one of those people. I am one of 4 children. All 4 of us born out of wedlock, with 3 fathers between us. Now before you pass judgement on her, like some insignificant bitches have tried, I will give her credit where credit is due. While most of the self-righteous Bill O'Reilly's out there are too busy working to really be parents (or do it only on weekends while the nannies they hire are the real parents of their children Monday through Friday), at least my mother was actually a parent there able to tend to her children.

I personally see no reason why gays pull away from God once they come out. If you acknowledge God's existence before coming out, why stop after. I feel if you stop, then all those religious people coming with their "holier-than-thou" attitude have won. Because while their "holier-than-thou" attitude shows them to be losers on the DL, you are an obvious loser for all the world to see by letting them make you walk away. Letting your staying put say, "What makes you better than me? Nothing. You are a flawed creature, just as I. God knows it, and loves me just as he loves you with all you flaws. So how dare you play judge, jury, and executioner over him? YOU HAVE NO RIGHT! Now take that finger you're pointing at me, and stick it where you can get the needed jolt so that you'll see the light of right ---- in your mirror."

I'm not saying it's easy to do, but it does help me to know that I am a worthwhile existence by not letting religious hypocritical hate-mongers (e.g. unwed parents, rich parents letting nannies raise their kids, verbally and/or physically abusive heterosexual parents, etc.) dictate to me how because of my loving a man, God will not love me. Well in that case, God doesn't love a person who parents a child without a spouse. God doesn't love the rich parent who lets monetary greed make them push their responsibility of parenting on to someone for hire. Nor does God love the straight man or woman who verbally and/or physically beats down their loved ones, but as long your boinking is for straight sex, you're OK.

All that is straight up BULL!!!!

It's time for openly gay/bi men and women to reclaim how much God is our savior just as much as he is of any straight person. I've never let straight people claim God as being only their savior. Are you doing the same? And if not, what are you waiting for?