The K Files: Legal Report 5/9, 15

"When you don't have a leg to stand on, is trying to make a case out of something just some thing you and your people do, or is that just you."

Now, this statement is nothing new to me coming from the guys in the mailroom. They have said things to me in my 6 years of working at "K" that I could have filed a claim of defamation and/or harassment a long time ago.

Then you're probably asking, "Then why haven't you done it yet, and just waiting until now to consider doing something?"

I hope you understand this.

Most of these guys have that hip-hop mentality which is extreme on many wrong levels. Such as being very anti-gay with the words "fag" or "faggot" as a constant disrespectful reference (but not used directly at me), disrespectful to women with the word "bitch" used just to speak of women in general, as well as disrespectful to themselves with the word "nigga" to talk about themselves and each other.

With that mindset, you can't expect much. But I felt that while their usual way of life is to avoid gays, my coming out to them 3 years ago was a way for them to get an education as to how not all gays are whatever stereotype they believe in. For that statement to come out of the supervisor's mouth, it's clear that if he and my other co-workers haven't learned by now how to address me without making it as if everything I do is based on my sexuality, then they'll never learn. Furthermore, when a discussion of my sexuality comes up 99% of the time - they are the ones who bring it up. Not me.

On May 15th, I did bring the supervisor's poor conduct of that meeting and his bigoted remark to the attention of the manager. The manager's reply about the bigoted remark was not much to my liking. He seemed to try brushing it off and buttering me up by telling me how the supervisor has always had nothing but good things to say about me. My thoughts were (1) of course he does, because I do my job, and I do it phenomenally well AND (2) buttering up doesn't work on me because I don't share their void, so my ego has no need to be stroked especially by "K". Now, the manager never mentioned as to whether or not the supervisor would be spoken to about his remark like he would on his wrong conduct of that meeting. So that less than satisfactory response lead to another initial being revealed. In fact, I'll give you 3 because these initials are for a common term known by lawyers. So the firm will go from being referred to "K", to now being referred to as "KLLP".

I was deliberating as to whether or not to take this to Human Resources as well, but I decided to use Human Resources as my next step if such a thing happens again. And if Human Resources doesn't take some satisfactory action, them it will become a legal matter. With all that in mind, this blog may very well be serving as a my legal report, hence why the dates are so important to list.

I feel very empowered by taking just this small step in remedying this situation here. I always hoped it would never come near this, but lately the unprofessional-ism that goes along with that hip-hop mentality has become quite aggravating. It's a display that while I try my best to think of no one as being beneath me, their actions most definitely make them look that way. Therefore, a line must be drawn, and I'm starting to draw it here. If they don't know I'm drawing that line, then may the old adage of how "God takes care of fools and babies" be true because of the fools they are.

The K Files: Legal Report 5/8, 9

I've finally had enough.

After my brief stay in the hospital, I came back to my day job less tolerant of all the political b.s. that has been going on there. Now, the last time I went anywhere near giving out the name of the law firm I work at, I simply gave the 1st initial "K". Well, I have decided that with each transgression by "K", I will give more initials. Since the firm within the past year has severely become a revolving door of attorneys and staff thanks to an inept administrative department and managing partners, they should hope it doesn't come to the point where I run out of initials and give their full name.

My now lower intolerance to the b.s. included within my own department of the mailroom. To the point that I will be using my entries labeled "The K Files" as a record of the events should such situations I present to you go further up K's ladder to the Human Resources Department. And if it needs to proceed further to a legal situation - so be it.

On May 8th, we had what they termed as a "staff meeting". I put "staff meeting" in quotes because it was poorly conducted. One of the topics brought up was lateness, which I openly admit to being guilty of. The supervisor conducting the meeting said these exact words, "I'm not going to name any name. You know who you are."

This is where a part of the "poorly conducted meeting" reveals itself.

The supervisor proceeds to pull out of a folder attendance sheets of all the guilty parties, and calls them out by name. Now anyone with any real knowledge of business etiquette knows that lateness is not a staff meeting issue, but an individual one and is supposed to be addressed with that individual in private. Which it was might I add, about 2 weeks before this meeting.

I brought this to the supervisor's attention stating that some of my co-workers' time was wasted. He immediately verbally attacked me, acting as if I was trying to hide the matter of my lateness. Why would I? I know it. They know it, because I'm honest enough to write down the time I walk in - YES, write in because we don't use time-clocks. And the busy-bodies who act like the very women and fags they talk down about know it by looking at other people's time. So why hide it?

My concern was not about me. Few people have my "say what you want about me, if it's true I don't give an fuck" attitude. My concern was for those who don't have that attitude. Those whose faith in their supervisors was trampled by the poor handling of that meeting. Enough of that has gone on, hence the revolving door of attorneys and staff. But since we now live in a time where people are so busy looking out for #1 that they're full of #2, the supervisor was unable to grasp why I was making that stand.

On the following day, May 9th, the supervisor made a statement to me that was improper whether it was said in private, or in front of most of the mailroom staff as it was. He said to me referring to the meeting of the previous day, "When you don't have a leg to stand on, is trying to make a case out of something just some thing you and your people do, or is that just you?"

Now, when I told my mom and friends about that statement, they all asked the same question. "What is 'you and your people'? Is that Black people, gay people, what?

And my clue to the answer is still the same - the supervisor is Black himself.

That's enough for today. But I will conclude this tomorrow in Legal Report 5/9, 15 with matters that have led to that, and the action I took and I may take after that statement.

I Walked The Walk In 2008

I did it again, and I couldn't be happier.

I did the AIDS Walk again this year, and became a part of a record-breaking event. As reports have shown thus far, this year with 45,000 walkers, the AIDS Walk NY raised a record total of $7,058,497. Many reports found this to be somewhat mind-blowing because of the tough financial times we're living in. I find it mind-blowing as well, but not for that reason.

The reason I find it mind-blowing is because we seem to live in a time where people are so busy looking out for #1 that they are full of #2. That may seem like a cynical statement, but I'm sure with us now being back to our day to day lives, that is the behavior we are seeing. Well, it was good to see that for 1 day so many people came together putting their usual petty prejudices aside all for the sake of a common goal. A goal that they know is way bigger than their single selves, therefore needs not just our individual attention, BUT our united attention.

This year I was a member of Team Showgirls. Just like last year when I walked with the AIDS Service Center NYC, I knew absolutely no one on the team, but I felt extremely welcomed by all. So since I always try to give credit where credit is due, I definitely have to say THANKS to the entire team for making me feel welcome.

And without a doubt, I have to give a big THANKS to our team leader, Michael for posting his bulletin on DList.com , and extending his invitation to me to be a part of Team Showgirls. Since becoming a part of Will Clark's events like Porno Bingo and The Bad Boys On The Hudson Sea Tea(July 20th), I've seen some organizations show themselves to be the biggest hypocrites, and act as if they want nothing to do with porn or porn actors. Remember the statement, "Doth the lady protest too much?" It is most likely because they probably have a porn collection that they need an area the size of the Batcave to store it, and a secret passageway to get to it.

Thankfully, Michael could care less, and I never told any of the team members until some of us were hanging out after The AIDS Walk. After all, I wasn't trying to draw a bunch of attention to myself. In fact, I was trying to be my usual quiet and low-key self when in the presence of new people so I could study them and find out the right way to interact with them individually.

Still giving out credit, while most of the males on our team were gay, we did have a couple who were straight, and the homophobic ghetto trash (blog explaining to soon follow) that I work with on my day job could learn a lot from them . A clear example of what I mean is that after the AIDS Walk, we went to eat at Vynl. While saying our goodbyes, one of the straight guys actually hugged everyone -male and female, instead of just shaking hands. That's a security in oneself that many homophobes can learn from, and an action that many hetero-phobic militant gays need to take heed of to get over the "gay vs. straights" war they want to propagate.

I obviously had fun, because I wouldn't have hung with these guys until late in the afternoon otherwise. Needless to say I was exhausted, but the adrenaline kick I was getting from the day didn't make me aware of it until after watching the season finale of "Desperate Housewives".

I know! I know! How gay can I get, right? Well, after watching that, then I knocked out.

I told one of the other walkers about the long flight of stairs at the World Trade Center PATH Station that I jog up Monday through Friday to get to work, and how that AIDS Walk was going to make me for once use the escalator. Would you believe Monday morning I flew up those stairs like no kind of extremely long walking took place the day before?

Maybe I got enough rest. Maybe it was another adrenaline kick from feeling a sense of accomplishment. Whatever it was, I felt good, and I hope to feel it again. So maybe next year.....

Atlantic City - BIG TIME Standouts

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